This is a series of 11 poems that are here defining my love to him:)

1. BLEEDING ICHOR

Cruelty is something that is made for me

Those little strings of hope I believe

Maybe this time, maybe in the hour of need

After hanging too long I only bleed

Bleeding of peace

Bleeding of insanity

Bleeding barefoot in birches and trees

Bleeding of the thought that we were ever meant to be

Scathed in the blood of innocence

That you had ever shed of me

My dead body lying in your breath’s presence

My absence pleasing you indeed

2. Anguished

Your blood curdling energy makes me want to hide

Like that little girl who once did all these years back

Sometimes I feel your energy from right behind

But its mostly from within myself with a sound of crack

I don’t hate or envy you, maybe I do

But it’s because how you made me feel

Your hands etched out like deadly knives

Never remind me of the wailing of a traumatized kid who just wanted to fly

3. SCARED OR SACRED

How do I hold on to those broken pieces of our love

Something that turned so grey and mundane

A tapestry of the golden ages that might never be shared again

How do I hold on to something that might never be love again?

4. LONELY CROWDS

Among the masses two people breathe

Completely ignorant of each other

Of the unsung tapestry underneath

What a lyrical spin off time had weaved this time

Bittersweet age of two butterflies flying in rhyme

Flapping their wings, shining ever so bright

Snap of a finger, the age of downfall after their blissful height

5. THE TAPESTRY WE COULD'VE SHARED

I see you everywhere

In between those history books,

In chemistry we never shared

Those pages can’t be turned to a new chapter I guess

Because I’ll hold on to those memories at my best

6. ILLICIT AFFAIRS

Apart by a million miles

United by a single thought

Me and you surviving forevermore

Like the hope of a lost guide for a ship at the shore

Waves hit high and low

Thoughts running fast but those moments stinging slow

I think my insanity is breached you should know

I’d get killed a million times, just to get killed once more

7. POLAROIDS

Memories are something that are always lost

But it’s your choice whether to mourn or to cherish the cost

Once in a while, you’ll go back in time

Almost reliving those moments and then sit back in spite

You see what a mess it is now

The aftermath of bloodshed it is how

So bloody ruined and hope it might be right again

How so, when their name spells out pain?

8. HAUNTING BABYLON

Your lavender scents haunting my gardens of Babylon

Spring unfolding beneath our feet while your brain was all frost

The coldness and the babarism you displayed deserves fine recognition

How reckless you were when you had wrecked everything I had grown

They say you reap what you sow

But in my case its wrong I suppose

I had grown all my love and care

And all you gave me were bittersweet memories hanging fair

9. LAST KISS

There's not a day I don't miss the touch of your eyes, and your bearing of lies

Engraved forever in my heart is the heat of those moments

This happiness every time whenever the clock strikes straight 9:09

Today in memory I look at our life in pictures with a little shine

Maybe that shine was of the tears that came along 

The miseries that dawned 

And the melody of our favorite song

How could you ever leave me in this wild abyss 

Never thought that you'd be gone without a goodbye kiss

10. ETERNAL VEXATION

I watch you breathe and sleep and reach out my hand

But you were too distanced from me

Inhabiting somewhere seven worlds afar

But still I see your hidden scars

Because no matter how well you hide

I can see vexation beneath your lips hidden behind a  smile

Doesn't matter if we're opposite poles or tied to a rope

I will always see your imperfectness as stars

No matter if I'm a grieving widow or a wounded soldier

Or you're the man behind rifle

don't ever expect me to leave you deserted

Because you will ever remain my evermore Eiffel

Even beneath your flaws and scars

Not even the mighty fate can pull us apart

11. COWARDNESS

In the silence of bustling crowds

I'm haunted

By your essence, its horrid

The scary play, with the playwright and his midwife

Fucking up the scene with their derranged brains

In the blink of an eye

What does one do when his life turns out to be a lie

Never dream of things unless you can't fulfill them

Don't see stars in the sunlight

But who are we to listen and learn

Running like children in the ferns

And the marsh and the grasslands and the lakes

Where people can't even admit what they can take

Of what they love, what are their mistakes

Who on earth would stand up and confess

That it is the field named love they had professed

I might be a little coward if I can't say that I love you

That you aren't on my mind like some rent free brat all the time

Your absence of pheremones doesn't help any better in my confession

How our love suffered extreme brutal complications

Of how much I don't hate you and how I not never think of you

And I'm a coward,

so I'll say this is barely true

I looked into the mirror

and what there did I see

I saw a man of eighty-four

smiling happy back at me

I saw the fun of many times

the wrinkles running tears

memories showed in all its lines

the sad and happy years

and etched behind the mask of fun

I witnessed sadness too

I saw memories of those now gone

and once again I saw you

yes you my lovely darling

in my thoughts you're always near

my wrinkling smile, my bearded chin

no longer in the mirror here

they were pushed aside my lost one

as my memories let you reign

then in present saw my smile once more

As in my heart you should remain

then another face replaced my grin

another reason for the tears

another love taken when she was young

unforgotten through my years.

both faces there in memory

etched in my heart and wrinkled face

then sadness and the pain were wiped

as another took their place

my laughter lines I see again

this old man's beard and grin

as behind my reflection in the glass

I see loves living face walk in.

Fact is, i love you.

With every passing day

After every storm settles

I fall in love a little more.

With finesse of your voice

Charm of your words

A moment we breathe as one

I, encompassed in your brown hue

Your fingers tracing my arms

My arms necklaced yours

It shatters, you leave me wanting

Desire for all, your words, thoughts and touch

push me away, i fall in more

keep me close, i’d never let u go.

worlds might change, wars may end

The fire in me will never go out

Yearning burns me at night

Ashens me during the day

If that night was longer

Or i’d stayed an hour more

Lingering in your scent

Tracing your nape

Hold my hands again

Keep close to your chest

Kiss them one more time

Hold to never let go

This time, i promise my death

All my nights, by you, for you.

We cried ourselves a hurricane

We laughed away the rain

We loved ourselves a sunny day

We drizzled out the pain

You're smile itself is a rainbow

When you frowned the blizzards came

You and I were a thunderstorm

That left as quickly as it came

You live, still, in my mind

Your tornado left debris

The love we made was volcanic

Even though the ash kept us hard to breathe

You loved me for a season

Our pressures were high and low

The monsoon that is you eased up

And took with it our hope

Now when I watch the weather

Im reminded all of you

Your beautiful fury caused a landslide for me

And now you're someone else's typhoon

We were our own flood.

Oh you sweet honey

you've gone to the beauty

this is the lord almighty

only the beauty

everyhting is noew red

for u and u

oh you beauty

wont you finally choose