Leaving your presence only to feel confused, lost and empty inside.

Opening my heart, always regretting it, due to the insincerity within you that resides.

Never comprehending why such difficulties occur, why they're bestowed upon me.

Even when I give someone a chance, I'm too vulnerable and afraid to just be.

Lingering scars unhealed from the past have fault in this, fear of truths given turning out to be phony.

Your falsities unsurprisingly leave a void, a darkness with no aim, as I still exist here lonely.

ARay

Have you ever felt such sorrow over something , your very essence of life ached?

All the years spent trying to deny the balance is off and too much of you , you have staked

You put everything that is your being into him and he took it, every drop

Now your empty, nothing for yourself or anyone else, like you took a trip to the chop shop

Everything feels like It’s going to shatter and come from inside out

Meanwhile the one who sucked you dry?, he’s staring at you like your old news now, a burnout

You walk to the room and close the door, no tears, no feelings, it’s gone

The love you spent your life investing in, turns out you were just a long term pawn...

ARay

I think of the pieces of my soul that I have so freely given, beautiful, happy parts of me that I can never get back~ like cutting down a tree

I languish at the thought of such a sacred and vulnerable part of myself being received then rejected, and not respected for the gift it was meant to be…

Whether it be with friendship or my dear love, it is unfortunate that I have experienced the callousness of both, they “love” you until they don’t

Do you know what it feels like for your soul to ache and feel sick with sorrow? ;

You struggle to figure out where and why it went wrong; you can think of nothing else, don’t want to eat or speak to anyone, even though you are so confused and lonely, you can’t sleep and wish nothing more at this very moment than of someone else’s life you could please borrow…

One of your fears as a young

one was that you would grow old unhappy and all alone!

And though you have a mate technically, he doesn’t like you much in a lot of ways that matter, personality, sexual attraction etc., sadly and so “The Valley of The Lonely Hearts” is probably where your soul and heart will forever roam…

Your husband seems to have found his original and true happiness, your children are well, your parents are fine…

Sadly your destiny may just be tortured figurative loneliness and total utter unhappiness of which no one cares to do anything about for all time…⌛️

ARay

Though it is still dark out, he moves about as everyone is still in dreamland.

He kisses each a farewell on his way to go and provide for his family, to do what he can.

The day passes with stress, hustle, more and more work to get done; he’s used to this though, and happy to have a way to take care of everyone.

Before he knows it he looks up and the day has turned dark once more.

He’s home now, and happy to be at his family's core.

He stands at the wash basin staring at his hands of ache.

His hands of calluses, cuts and nicks.

His hands of honor; then he goes and sits.

He holds the hands of his family in prayer over their family meal and is grateful for that pain.

He feels blessed to be where he is, he works hard and is happy the good Lord has helped him maintain...

ARay

Skies black being kissed by the pale full moon

The girl waits in the clearing of the darkened forest humming a tune

A crack echoes all throughout, an eerie chill comes over the night

Where is her love , he must hurry for she is Terrified now and wishes for a light

Trees all around her bend as if to listen to her beating heart

A crash sounds through the willows now she fears she must part

As she runs the beaten path back , the one the lovers know well

She is confronted by a figure of horrifying size that Freezes her as if in a spell

The creature growls and moans and somehow she recognizes the tone

This monster is her beloved in his true form she sees now for in the moonlight his eyes

have shown

She falls to her knees in submission and calls to her love, come take me

He advances and bites and whimpers and he lifts her carries her away somewhere they

can be free

Morning comes and they both wake in the meadow naked, rested and unaware

That tonight when the moon rises again they will hear its call, feel the pull and become a were....

ARay

You sacrifice youth, beauty and time

It all seems worth it no matter the cost...

Noone tells you the pain it all brings

Noone tells you the hurt you suffer in it all...

The laughter, smiles, pride it's all nice

The tears, heartache, and shame though you seem to feel thrice...

You think when you become a Mom you will never be lonely again

Life has a way if fooling you though, doesn’t it?

You would never give back the experiences that you’ve had

Just wish it would have turned out different, not so damn sad...

You take what you get girl, for you know where you came from

Even if it doesn’t seem like it, your life is probably better than some...

Put a smile on now, tuck those feelings away

Go do the dishes, fold the clothes and be glad for another day!

I lay here and wonder why,

Why can’t I just really try,

Try my best to be glad,

Glad that he’s not always mad,

Mad at me the way he used to,

He’s nicer and sweeter too,

To me he is still neglecting though, and I don’t know what to do….

Do about it because I don’t wanna mess up what is good,

Good but still not quite enough for me,

Me you see, I think that’s the problem I face,

Facing it because it\s all my fault I can’t be happy,

Happy he’s atleast trying,

Trying to do his best,

Best isn’t always good

I lay here and wonder why,

Why can’t I just really try,

Try my best to be glad,

Glad that he’s not always mad,

Mad at me the way he used to,

He’s nicer and sweeter too,

To me he is still neglecting though, and I don’t know what to do….

Do about it because I don’t wanna mess up what is good,

Good but still not quite enough for me,

Me you see, I think that’s the problem I face,

Facing it because it\s all my fault I can’t be happy,

Happy he’s atleast trying,

Trying to do his best,

Best isn’t always good enough and for that I am sorry,

Sorry that I am failing….

Failing at just about everything, even when he’s putting forth an effort,

An effort that I hope I can take,

Take and hold and run with my all,

All that I have because above everything else he is my love,

Love that will not break or fail; no,

No I affirm, for his soul is mine and mine is his and for eternity we will together, this life overthrow…

ARay