Light trickled through the window, spreading out in a display of vibrant colors on the kitchen floor. The boy stood stolidly behind the counter, quietly watching his mother make breakfast like she always did.

A savory aroma drifted through the air, giving the space a homey feel. His mother hummed a soft tune underneath her breath, tucking a strand of her chestnut hair behind her ear as she worked. She smiled as she noticed the rainbow spread out across the floor, although the smile vanished when her gaze fell on him. In fact, her next words were clipped and worn.

“Tommy, get that thumb out of your mouth and get rid of that blanket. You’re too old for it anyway.”

Tommy shook his head, thumb still in mouth and clutching his blanket tighter. His mother sighed, placing the frying pan off the heat. She knelt beside Tommy, slowly pulling his thumb from his mouth and slipping the blanket from his hands.

She stopped for a second, hesitating when her gaze landed on white laces tightly twisted around Tommy’s slender fingers. She glanced down at his bare feet and realized that he was clutching his worn tennis shoes in his hands.

Tommy just watched wide-eyed as his mother stared at the laces around his fingers, jerking quickly away when she reached to untangle them.

“No,” he mumbled, moving hesitantly away from his mother.

“You need to put your shoes on.”

“No,” he repeated quietly.

Her voice turned hard, her almond eyes flickering with annoyance. “Tommy, put your shoes on now.”

He did not put his shoes on at her command, although he didn’t fight when she helped him into them, merely staring unblinkingly as she laced them up. She was quiet as she dropped him off at school.

<><><><><><><><><>

“Mrs. Anderson, I would have you know that it is against school policy for a child to go without their shoes while at school.” The words came from a lanky woman well into her fifties, strands of her wiry blonde hair turning silvery gray. She had a pointed stare that matched the character of her office. Everything was neat and organized without a trace of her in it. Its only purpose was merely for business.

“I know, but you see, it’s just one of his habits. All children have them,” Tommy’s mother replied, gripping the arms of the leather chair tightly, her knuckles turning an unearthly color.

“Yes, Mrs. Anderson, I am perfectly aware that children often exhibit certain odd behaviors, but this is not normal. Your son refuses to wear his shoes. Instead he drags them behind himself. If the children are playing outside, there he is, dragging his shoes behind him; he even comes in with slivers sometimes.” The woman sighed. “All I’m saying is that you should teach Thomas the importance of wearing his shoes.”

“Thank you for your concern, Mrs. Ingram, I’ll see that it doesn’t happen again.” She abruptly stood up, taking Tommy’s hand, “C’mon Tommy, let’s go home.”

<><><><><><><><><>

Tommy’s mother tucked the edges of his blankets beneath him.

“You know that it’s important to wear your shoes don’t you Tommy?” He nodded slowly, “Then why don’t you?” He hesitated a moment before shrugging,

Tommy’s mother sighed, “I suppose I don’t know either.” Leaning in she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Tommy closed his eyes as she turned out the light, but mumbled under his breath when she turned to leave,

“I love you Mommy.”

There was a moment of silence in the darkness, “I love you too.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

Something broke, the glass shattering ruthlessly on the kitchen floor. An angry, hoarse voice sliced through the silence that followed.

“Dang you, Helen!”

Something hard slammed against the kitchen counter. Something snapped. Sobs erupted through the tension in the air , a cry of terror and helplessness. A cry of pain and of fear. But the pounding that followed never relented. Sounds that filled the air and fit the way the atmosphere felt on the woman. Heavy and dense.

A woman with long disheveled hair huddled against the cabinets, tears streaked a tired face. She mumbled for someone to stop, but he didn’t. The sound of glass shattering filled the air once again, the angry words slurring together. The woman grimaced as someone approached her. He was speaking in low, threatening tones now, but the woman shook her head in defiance.

Something changed in the atmosphere, shifting swiftly. Quicker than lightning she was being dragged by her feet. She screamed out something incomprehensible through the fog, drawing him deeper, uprooting a fear that hid itself well.

<><><><><><><><><>

Tommy awoke screaming, his throat ripping in absolute terror, salty tears streamed violently down his cheeks. Tommy clutched his tennis shoes tightly to his chest as he rocked back and forth slowly.

His mother abruptly burst through the door, her face blanched in panic. Her gaze frantically scanned the room for any sign of danger, finally landing on her distraught son.

Her expression softened into one of concern. “Tommy? What’s the matter?”

He continued rocking even as she placed an arm around him, simply staring down the length of her legs.

“Tommy.” She gently stroked his blonde hair. “What’s wrong?”

He hesitated, still staring. “The monster took your feet.”

There was a silence before his mother let out a nervous laugh. “What do you mean, Tommy?”

He was still staring. “That’s why I don’t wear my shoes, Mommy. The monster takes your feet when he’s mad. I’m scared. The monster took your feet.”

His mother tensed, stiffly rubbing his back. She followed his gaze sadly to her bare feet that hung off the edge of his bed. Bruises and scratches covered the pale skin of her feet, pale white scars standing out plainly among the painting of blue, red and purple.

“Yes, Tommy. The monster took my feet.” His blue eyes widened in terror as his mother said this. She hesitated, holding him closer. “But the monster is never going to hurt you as long as I’m here. I promise you that Tommy.”

isolation.

it goes against everything we know.

kisses, hugs,

handshakes, high-fives,

just standing close to someone

to feel like you are not alone.

isolation goes against everything we know.

we are confined to the repetitive walls

of our homes.

we have no where to go,

no where to be.

isolation goes against everything we know.

we try to make up for it

with screens and cameras and technology

but we long for something we can feel

that we cannot get through a screen.

isolation goes against everything we know.

purpose is lost.

why get out of bed in the morning?

why comb your hair and brush your teeth?

it's not like anyone would know the difference.

isolation goes against everything we know.

isolation.

it goes against everything we know.

Shattered pieces,

broken glass,

tumbled,

sea of tears.

Smooth as words,

seeds sown like grass,

reflecting her

as mirrors.

The pieces of

her heart with holes,

lace,

stolen,

filigree;

diamonds

pressed in darkness,

coal,

shines light

for all

to see.

Rosamund picked up food items and made her way to the 'Grooming Section' on the other side of the new store. Her careless steps stopped on seeing her long time crush, Greg. She gulped down her waterless saliva and it felt like it took 10 years to reach her stomach - the way it did 10 years ago. Greg turned around and she was sure there was no point of trying to move her jammed legs. "I wish he doesn't recognise me.", she struggled to say this to her heart who now was ready with a spear, pumping smiles like a starry eyed cupid. Though they were just far off acquaintance...very far, he greeted her with surprise. She never thought in her life that they both would talk, NAH! Lying! She thought about it every single day. They started talking like strangers do and she tried to be mature because she knew that he'll go away at one point but she didn't want him run out from the store as if he got a packet of meat which a hungry dog, in this case herself, is crazy over. The conversation was going good until he asked about the crush thing. Obviously she wouldn't outright say its him and she wouldn't take someone else's name because that would be a lie so she chuckled and said, "Well its really funny..you know...my friends go like me and my crush will look so good together... I mean I KNOW WE WON'T.", she realised that that didn't made any sense so she tried to cover up by laughing at her idiocity and started looking for something - acted it out. Greg smiled as she looked away. "I wonder why you think that.", he said looking at the dome mirror. For the first he was delighted to find himself in the same frame as hers.

×∞ Adin

16 April 2020

-i put up these-

stony castle walls

-bound by-

pearly white mortar

-i stacked my bricks high-

all around my heart

-until they loomed over my head-

with no sky in sight

-and you-

broke them down

-as if they were-

nothing but eggshells

-watching them-

crumble to dust

-beaneath your-

blood-covered fingertips

they were there for a reason.

(was it to keep you out

or to keep me in?)

You were

everything,

my all.

but now,

you are

nothing

at all

Happenstance was what rolled her to her back, happenstance and a boat’s wake were all that could, but she watched from that attitude as the waves rippled across a green-tint sky with yellow clouds afloat like she, drifting peaceful like she, and the currents swirling ’round her. It’s all there was, was to watch. The doing was done.

She read once that a brain might live for two minutes after the final breath, and now she knew it was so.

She felt herself bobbing like the surface waves, like she was a wave.

Like that bubble from her throat her two minutes floated up.

The books pile up

The the shelfs over flow

See I read to much

Because I love books

Or at least I thought

That was the reason

But to be honest

I’m finding it hard to

Breath in a world so full of hate

One that just tells you everything you ain’t

And every time I pick up a book

I just sort of leave into

This magical place

One where I can just breath

And I can escape

But it’s getting hard to breath

Stuck between theses pages

And the words are filling my

Head like a river over flowing

See I’m drowning in my own knowing