Think this time will be diffrent

At least I said yes this time

I have the power

Almost

I am happy

Almost

I love you

Not really

But you seem to like it when I say it

I said yes

Why do I feel violated

Why do I need what hurts me

You hurt me

But I said yes

You climbed up me like ivy

Spreading me apart

You opened the black hole that is now my heart

You took what you wanted

Left me all alone

But I am supposed to care cus that's what familys for

I have no home anymore

I left this earth a long time ago

I am a body not a soul

You shattered me

I hope you're happy

I know it's fake

But barely

Realitys are separating

And as I walk down the halls

The walls are out to get me

And everytime I pass a face

They hear every thought i've made

It's a lonley existence

Being so interconnected in space

I am a God I rule it all

Untill dusk starts to fall

The shadows want to take me away

The bugs they surround me

Everyone is out to get me

I'm tired of this fate

I feel like a god only feel it when i'm manic

and you seem to think that im just a bit dramtic

and I keep telling you that im loosing my mind

and im not sure even where my sence of time went

and when you look at me all that you see is a girl lost and alone

bloog drips aganst the stone flows through the cracks maken a home

I've got to many emotions to name to much baggage at the baggage claim

nothing will be the same nothing is the same

My face will fade from memories

My voice will be forgotten

Little bits of me slip away

But in the end I guess it works out

Cus pain from death fades away but pain from living does not

The fighting will cease, the crying will stop all with time

Teardrops will dry

And one day you will catch yourself living a normal life again

Till the only time you think of me are birthdays

I never said it would be easy but look at the alternitve

Your daughter decaying yet still alive

Her time was up yet you kept her here

Now she will pay the price

Cus all she does is hurt

She hurts others and herself

She is broken beond repair

You all have tried

A good effort they did

But in the end it's all the same

She is dead

I am lost inside my mind/trying to find you

You know what I know/it's fine we know truth

Cus i've lost alot and learned alot and i'd rather not loose you

i'm trying to seek out the sadness that's eating you

oohh your gone I've just about moved on/ohhh but i get roped back in every time I yearn to call you mine call you mineeeeee but we have run out of time of time

I've found the secret passige way your mental hideaway away from me

Quick, the clocks are ticking if we are getting out and make it back then run please run

cus I have lost some more you walked out the door without ever looking back

I cried so many times I can't keep track

oohh your gone I've just about moved on/ohhh but i get roped back in every time I yearn to call you mine call you mineeeeee but we have run out of time of time

Don't you realize what you've done ooo down the rabbit hole we go and i'm just trying to keep my head above the waves and you have dived to deep

oohh your gone I've just about moved on/ohhh but i get roped back in every time I yearn to call you mine call you mineeeeee but we have run out of time of time

(loud again) oohh your gone I've just about moved on/ohhh but i get roped back in every time I yearn to call you mine call you mineeeeee but we have run out of time of time

So leave if wanna scream if you wanna bleed if you wanna just don't hurt me

leave if wanna scream if you wanna bleed if you wanna just don't hurt me

leave if wanna scream if you wanna bleed if you wanna just don't hurt me

leave if wanna scream if you wanna bleed if you wanna just don't hurt me

oohh your gone I've just about moved on/ohhh but i get roped back in every time I yearn to call you mine call you mineeeeee but we have run out of time of time

I am the fucking bomb

I am a beautiful explosion

Nothing can stop me

I may be a mess

But I am wonderful

I am the fucking bomb

Once when I was around 8 I was at the zoo. I saw this girl around my age with the most wonderful hair I had ever seen! Her head was shaved completely on one side long blonde hair on the other. I wanted that more than I had ever wanted something in my life. I asked my mother who than proceeded to tell me my hair was very pretty as it was and I was doing nothing to it. Later around 11 I took a razor to my locks. I shaved off just enough for me to notice. The secret undercut if my dreams. I loved to run my fingers over the velvety patch of hair long gone and giggle as I had gotten away with such a feat. Of course my mother found out and I was banned from ever doing it again. I still yearn for the feeling of running my hands over buzzed hair and feeling the adrenaline of getting away with what I wanted so. One day I might do it again I never know but I still think shaved hair on girls is cool!

The monster awakens rousing from his sleep

It's feeding time again

Clawing at the walls

You're not good

Scilence rings out

You're worthless

Screems erupt

The cavern of uncertenty waits for me

Fat

Wrong

Bad

Bad

Bad

I feed him

It's over

till next time