Parched
My words can run dry
Like the Sands of a forgotten desert
Rejuvenation a dream
And the sun reflecting is mean
Names are forgotten when the heat comes alive
Grave robbers grapple with conscience
The zombied horror within
And the only thing it needs is water to live
But the river died when the river died
All I want is water
All you offer is sweet sticky poison
Make me choke on my savior
Have you engaged in the waves
In the Sands of the grave
I'm alive
But I didn't ask to be.
Once I Was That Poet
Once....
I preached about love
Defining the beauty
Within my words
I sewed passion
With the thread of affection
Embroidery of romance
Knitted from the heart
That was once
Filled with desire
Now.....
I praise about sorrow
Expressing the chaos inside
Cruel words
With sharp edges
Tearing my sanity
Into pieces
Hatred grows stronger
As the blade of the rhythm
Slashing the peace within
I become the sword of darkness
Made from the steel of betrayal
You see......
I was killed
By love
And you buried
My trust
In the crypt of blackness
I was once
The preacher of light
But now
I'm ya dark writer
Spilling emotion
From my broken soul
-Jess
The Silence Of A Secrete
Silence is the monster I keep inside my mouth. Its cage keeps your secrete, its bars burn with guilt.
Silence is the monster devouring my life. Its teeth gnaw the truth, its guts absorb my will.
Silence is the monster shredding my hope. Its claws thrash at the memories, its weight pounds me into nothing.
I wish you could see
I watch you. Carefully memorizing the msrks of your flesh. The unseem birthmark on the middle of your back. The bruises on your flesh. I watch you as you gaze into the mirror of this hotel that's proved our home. You're naked as you examine the color of your hair and you watch me through the reflection.
The hotel is crowded with the remains of our life. Cluttered and disheveled. Spilled domestic beer tossed down on Leftover Chanel. I look away from your gaze. Caught up in the beauty of your form I dismiss the chaos.
You make me nervous you say And I feign a blush and tuck my head against my chest. I'm sorry I whisper it and it's arrogant and untrue. Because I like that you tremble. I like that challenge is to make you understand.
Anyone can fuck me. Anyone can fuck you. We've been there before. But you're different aren't you? I don't want you to be. I didn't want you to be. But no one controls their fate.
I Love you you say and youre thanking me for dinner and your siblings and I'm shaking my head and imaging how. Whole I feel when your skins against mine.
You light a Marlboro and pace nervously. And I'm trying to focus on your words. But your body curves in majestic ways that bend my mind and mold our bodies together in perfect motion.
I want you I say and immediately withdraw. Because I see the look in your eyes and for a moment I hate myself. I'm me I say and I love you
You look away and casually ash your smoke on the floor. I turn away and hear the bottle crack. And more than anything I want to fall on my knees and beg. I want you to see it. See it as I do. I want you to understand.
You deserve better I say and you scoff. I throw my head into my hands in despair. I wish for one moment you could see what I see in you.
A flashing rectangle across my vision
A door
Beckoning me
Calling me to answer it
I reach with my eyes
Only for it to be swept away by a wave of neon
Pinks and greens and yellows
Sprinkling themselves across my vision
Like sprinkling salt into water
The neon disappears and I am left with something new
Black
I'm in space, floating
I see the stars appear one by one
And then I see a blue planet
Glimmering and beautiful
I get closer and closer and get swallowed by the blue
My world
Throbbing Vision
Flashing lines roll across a blotchy black surface,
blinking like an old neon sign,
except this is a plain screen of black and white.
light shadows in from the front and interrupts my vision,
my vision that makes me feel like I've taken a blow to the head,
and I open my eyes and my imagination starts to roll again like film.
Why
Why have I not yet drowned?
With my head held underwater,
The pressure is tangible, palpable,
Omnipresent and everywhere,
Pushing me down under, harder, deeper;
My head feels bloated, swollen,
From the screaming of my brain,
A long,
Drawn-out,
Pleading wail,
Begging for the oxygen
That it will never attain.
Why have I not yet starved?
There’s an emptiness within me,
A hollow, recess feeling
In my stomach,
In my gut,
In me,
A gaping hole
That food cannot replace.
It’s always there,
Ever-gnawing at the rest of me,
Eroding it,
Eating away
At what little is left.
Why have I not yet asphyxiated?
There’s a pounding in my head,
A burning in my throat
Where the noose is knotted,
Tautened,
Digging into my flesh,
Like a boa constrictor-
An ironclad grip on my heart and chest,
Clasping,
Clutching,
Squeezing to the beat of my heart,
Tighter with each futile pulse.
Why have I not yet bled to death?
My body is one great wound,
Rivulets of blackened blood
Running down my limbs
Washing them in carmine,
Crimson,
Scarlet;
I feel dazed with pain,
My vision tinged in red,
My skin waxy and pale;
Transparent,
Like the ghost I should be.
Why have I not yet passed?
My heart still pulses vainly on
In its empty shell
Of a ribcage,
Forcing onto me the burden
Of this life,
This being,
This existence.
I cannot understand
Why my body is still fighting
When I have given up.
I Close My Eyes
smooth black,
specked in dust,
but I still see some
color bleeding through.
it all feels far away,
like breathing on
the tips of reach.
hiding as though
my vision is caustic,
and beasts play in
the blended depths
of my failed perception,
memory makes
my bones ache for
the last of the veil
and my words nestle
in the corner trying
to survive another day,
avoiding permanent
rest upon the page.