“It’s ok, you don’t have to love me.” Celeste said happily. She always says it in a cutesy and cheery voice. “You can hate me if you want!”

I can’t blatantly say I do! Even if I do say it, that doesn’t mean I actually hate her. She doesn’t understand the entire Earth language and its chivalry, so I can’t blame her for not knowing. She barely knows Earth, she is literally out of this world from a different planet. “I don’t hate you. Sometimes you can…” What’s the word? “…be a bit… annoying.” That’s not right. “No. Well…” I ended with a disgruntled sigh, but I heard a hmm.

Her head tilted a little with a concerning frown. She thought for a good second. “Can I stop being annoying?”

What am I supposed to say? How do you tell an alien to stop being an alien? “We just need to make sure you act more human-like. Act like me.”

Celeste brightened, her eyes shifting a different color. She closed her eyes and her entire appearance shifted. Her hair grew shorter into my messy brown hair as her face turned into my chiseled look. She opened her eyes… green emerald eyes like me. She gave a pout and dumbly said, “I am John! I am a human!” Her voice even matched mine. She looked at me with hope.

“No.” My voice trailed into a sigh.

Celeste was laughing at my attempt to help. Then I heard the three knocks.

“Johnny?” The feminine voice muffled at the front door. “Are you home?” Three knocks echoed on the door, gentle yet terrifying.

Celeste looked out the bedroom door. “Coming!” She got up to leave. I lunged at her and made her fall.

“Be! Be there in a bit! Just let me… I’ll be there in a sec– minute! A minute!” I yelled back, holding my hands over Celeste’s mouth. I hunched over to whisper closely to Celeste’s ear. My ear? She still had my look on, this was already awkward enough. “Look, I’ll be back in just a minute. Stay here while I talk to my girlfriend. Got it?”

Celeste gave me a “Mhm” under my hands. I got off and let go of her mouth. “But why can’t I meet her?”

“You… ehh.” I started but I heard the three knocks again. “You two won’t get along! I already know.” I lied. I didn't want Julia to be forced into this mess like I am.

Her face disguised as mine frown in a guilty disappointment. This was a new emotion I’ve seen from her. “Really?”

“I’ll be back in a minute. Just wait here.”

I left the room, the alien stayed. At least she knew how to stay, unlike at the bar. I closed the door, one last look at the girl. She still had my appearance yet looked at me with deep blue eyes. I must’ve really hurt her feelings.

I closed the bedroom door and went to the front door. I opened to see my girlfriend, Julia. Her blonde hair draped elegantly, the breeze picking it up gently. Her outfit was fit for the cool autumn weather; a light scarf and a bag in her hand. “You took a while.” She started. “And sounded… panicked.”

“Panicked?” I tried to act cool. I leaned on my doorframe, my arm being held above my head. I felt a bit odd, but felt much cooler doing so. Julia’s concerned expression said otherwise. “Well, I was just doing something. Busy morning.” I played it off with a small chuckle at the end.

Julia’s face of concern blanked into an are-you-sure-? look… almost angry. “What were you doing?”

Of course, she'd ask. “Work. You know the boss likes to videocall me. Especially on the weekends.” I knew I told her that before. She would believe me after that.

Julia’s face turned into a surprised look. “It’s Tuesday.”

Oh.

I blanked. It’s Tuesday? I’ve been so caught up with Celeste since she arrived her. That was only Friday! “He still randomly called me today. I can’t just leave him hanging.” I chuckled again. Julia seemed convinced, at least to get off my trail of lies. “What brings you here today? You usually call to meet up somewhere.”

Julia shook the thought off and brightened. “I thought I’d stop by and give you some cookies I baked! The bakery had extra, plus I’m headed to my friend’s house anyways. I have some time to spare. Can I come in?”

“Not right now, still pretty busy.”

“The boss is still in on a call?”

“You know, that man just can’t shut up sometimes!” As I laughed, I heard a loud THUD followed with the sound of glass shattering. Goddamn Celeste. I can’t leave her alone for even a little bit. I looked back to Julia.

She obviously heard. And she was obviously upset. “What was that?”

“A cat!” I quickly added. Julia’s eyes widened in surprise. “Decided to get one for my mom! She loves cats, you know?”

Julia’s face scrunched into a confused look. “I thought your family was allergic.”

“Minor, but she still loves cats.”

“John!” I heard my name being muffled from the other room. My cover is being blown. I need to just shut the door.

“Who was that?” Julia’s voice turned urgent. She looked at me, her eyes beaming with anger. “What is going on?”

“Probably the boss’s wife. Look I really need to go, I’m sorry to bail this time. Call me tomorrow, I’m all for a lunch.” I quickly got off the frame and went to close the door. “Bye! Love you!”

Julia tried to talk more but the door closed and cut her off. I heard a “Love you too!” muffle from the door. Oh god, she’s going to ask tomorrow. I can’t risk Celeste’s identity being revealed though. Not until I can let her leave. Maybe it’ll be better if I shut myself off and help repair the ship in the meantime.

“John?” I jumped at the sudden boom of my name. Celeste was right behind me. She had brown long hair with green eyes. She must’ve looked at the picture of me and my sister again.

“What did you do? You couldn’t wait just a minute?” Of course, I was angry. She looked down to avoid looking at me directly in the eyes. I sighed and looked down as well, there as an abnormal color on her skin. A cut on her arm was bleeding a blue color. like oozing beads in plasma. The skin around the cut wasn’t the pale skin I told her to use as a disguise. It was blue with a speckled pattern around it. “Celeste? What happened?” I held her arm and she winced in pain.

Celeste looked guilty at the cut. “I wanted to see a picture on your dresser, but the drawer broke underneath and I fell.” Of course, she loves the photos I have lying around. It’s freaky seeing her morph into people I know, even me! My sister isn’t even alive, yet Celeste morphs into her and freaks me out. “I just need some Lurela. Do you have any?”

“Lurela? What’s that?”

“I don’t know the terminology here. Lurela is a… healing agent… we use.”

“A healing agent? We have some sprays and band aids. We can use those.”

“You will not.” I heard an angry feminine voice come from the right. I looked up to see Julia’s angry expression mixed with tears streaming down her face. “Who is she?”

Oh god. “No! Please, Julia. It’s a crazy and long story. I just…” I let go of Celeste’s hand. “It isn’t what it looks like.”

Julia’s eyes were filled with tears, her face turned into a sobbing mess. “You told me you wouldn’t do this again.”

“I’m not! I swear! It’s complicated, truly!” I started walking to Julia, but she dropped the cookies down. She stomped off my steps. “Wait. Wait! Julia!” I rushed out, but she wasn’t stopping. “Julia. If you just come in, I can tell you. Besides, that’s just my sister!”

Julia snapped around. “You told me your sister died in a car accident.” She looked at me, angry as ever. I’ve never seen her like this. Not like the first time, at least. “Were you lying?”

I was speechless. I couldn’t make up a death like that. And Julia, out of all people I know, she knows me better than I do. “Just, let me explain.” I tried to reason. Julia wasn’t having it, she shook her head and walked away. “Julia, please!” I took her hand, but she forced it away.

“Julia!” I heard Celeste’s voice call out. Celeste’s voice was gentle, almost charming to hear. She came to my side and yelled louder. “Julia!” Julia turned back, disgusted by the new girl.

“You love her. Huh?” I can tell, Julia had to fight tears to break that sentence out.

Celeste looked at me with a concerned expression. “It’s ok, you don’t have to love me.” Oh my god. I looked back to see Julia frustrated with the situation. Her sorrow lashed into anger. Celeste looked to Julia, “You don’t have to love me either!” I could tell Celeste was smiling. Julia did not take like to this.

Julia looked at me with an open mouth. “You are disgusting, Johnny.” She turned and started walking away.

I stayed back, knowing I lost her at this point. The first time, she gave me a warning. This is not a warning anymore. This is it.

Celeste walked up and grabbed her hand with the injured one. “Please, give us a chance.” Julia stopped in her tracks. She froze for a second, almost like she became stone. Then she collapsed. Like she folded on her knees and fell on her face. Celeste didn’t stop holding her hand. She, instead, looked back at me with a smile. “I got her!”

The injury on her arm, was gone. It was like my pale complexion. Was Julia dead? What happened? I looked at the limp body on the ground and Celeste’s happy smile. I couldn’t wrap my head around this. I looked around at the other houses. Anybody could be watching. Anybody could've seen it.

I hurried to Julia and picked her up like I would to bed. She felt cold, freezing even, but I could feel her heart pound quickly. “Open the door.” I hurried as much as I could, just to get out of anyone's sight.

Celeste went to the door and opened, obedient as she is. “Is she okay?”

“You did this! How are you not sure?”

“I’ve never seen a Jucon collapse like that though. I only borrowed her Lurela.”

“Celeste!” I enter the house and placed Julia’s body on the couch. “We are human! You can’t do that to humans!”

“But-”

“Let’s just help Julia. That’s all that matters.” I sat on the floor since Julia took up the entire couch. I couldn’t leave her in this mess, I didn’t want her to enter it in the first place. “I’m here for you Julia. I’m right here.” I held her hand, feeling a sense of warmth with hers. At least I can feel her warming up.

At least.

Start time: 8:14 PM on 4/7/19

End time: 10:00 PM on 4/7/19

This was surely a new discovery, a new lifestyle, something I needed to get used to right away. This door will reveal a team of 5, no… now 6. My team, I’m part of this team. I’m part of ERROR 404. This is my team too!

I got my cookies ready, a friendly start to this new life. I had everything in my bag, even my headset. I opened the door, like they had told me.

“JOOOOON!” I heard a yell once I opened. I saw a man laughing as he was tied to a swivel chair with his own headset cords. “ONE JOB.” A frail but extroverted man yelled loudly at the tied dude. The players around him were laughing hysterically, causing the angry dude to join in. “Dammit.” He ended while using his breath to laugh even more.

The room was brightly lightened by the sun outside with drapes tied up at the ends. I could see the dust particles fly around gently, like a nostalgic dream I’d have. The players around were at individual swivel chairs, alike to one another… but each player was uniquely different in just their appearance. I looked at everyone, seeing all their eyes dart towards me. We all froze up, unaware of how awkward this meeting would be.

The man tied in the chair happily greeted, “Heyo! You must be Annette!” I was startled, but warmly happy. “Caught us in a weird moment, have you?”

Act cool, talk back in a cool way… “Not the first time, I’d take it?” I chuckled in my head, knowing it was a meme with Sara and Kian… but they stared at me in confusion. “You are ERROR 404, right?” I questioned back. The group laughed in response at the failure of my greetings.

“In the flesh!” The tied man said back. He wiggled out of the constricting wires and could now freely use his hands. “I’m Jones McCallistor, more recognized as EXO and the head of the team… kind of.”

“Give yourself too much credit, Jon.” The frail man snapped back in a flirty yet annoyed response. “I’m Raymond, Deadbait online.” He leaned on the table. He seemed much more feminine than I’d imagine the damage player, who am I to judge though.

“Y’all gon scare her off.” A lady rose up to reveal a comfortable outfit. She seemed thicker than the others, but that only added to her personality it seemed. “I’m Sonya, Ampooku in Freesia Online.”

“Am-POCK-oo.” The feminine guy corrected her, she glared with darted eyes.

“Am-POOK-oo.” Sonya corrected the invalid response in a stern yet elegant way. “They’re all trolls, don’t listen to them.”

The boys started chuckling once more, receiving more glares from Sonya instead.

The paisley gentle pink girl rose up from her chair. She walked to reveal her short self. “I’m Chloe. I’m the healer.” I knew Chloe from the events she attended for years. She’s only 14 too, quite a young player for a first-person shooter in competitive. “I like to play Glacia or Nancy, but I can play just about everyone.”

“You can barely tank, Chlo.” Raymond joked.

“You can barely play, Raymond.” She sassily poked back. She elegantly sat herself back down and her short figure hid behind the computer. The rest of the group laughed hysterically at the sudden sass, I feel like it wasn’t the first time they joked like this. I chuckled as well, it was a good comeback.

“That leaves me.” A husky voice revealed himself. He stood tall in his green hoodie, “I’m Nate Kowalski, Centralian on Freesia.” He had a fairly buff build and looked… cute. Cute? No! Wait, this is a teammate. He did have a stunning complexion though. He stood firmly on carpet yet looked calm and relaxed. A contradiction, a gentle contradiction.

“Who are you, newbie?” Jones had escaped the wires surrounding him and scooted back.

It was my turn to talk. “I’m Annette. I’m-”

“Categen.” Nate replied for me. “Dude, you’re like number 9 in the entire game!”

“Yea!” I awkwardly laughed back, “That’s me!”

“Girl, you’re insane on Freesia!” Sonya praised, “I saw that Sardine play, crazy!”

I don’t play Sardine often, though they seemed to like it. “Thanks, I’m not that good at flanking though.”

The group choked up laughing, “Number 9 says she isn’t that good! Girl, you can reveal yourself here.” Raymond explosively said.

I was confused, reveal myself? Sure, I’m number 9… that doesn’t mean I’m that good though. I’ve just played a little more than the average gamer. Longer time playing too, I started way back in 2013.

All I could do was laugh though, I wanted to fit in with their personalities. This is the first day, I just needed to ease in. Nate called out first to break the awkwardness, “We should get you set up? How’s that?” He got up and showed his hand the way to an empty seat.

“Perfect.” I smiled and walked by to sit down. The chair was comfy, brand new even. There wasn’t a wrinkle in place that shows that this chair was used. I was honored, really. The desktop itself, ginormous. The glass was shining back my reflection, and everything behind me. The screen was huge, almost like a TV screen. I could see the background too… this place acted like a lounging session as well. Comfy chairs, snacks in a kitchen area, and a huge curved TV screen plastered on the wall. I was in shock, everything was expensively untouched in a sunny room… we just collectively played games all day. I turned the computer on, barely touched PC! The storage had only the game and a protection agency app being the two applications on the system.

“You are basically up to anything on this computer. I know you are still in school, so this can be used for school work until the season is up.” Nate calmly replied. “I think Jon and Ray are the only two who aren’t in school… so they do the weirder stuff.” He gave a small chuckle at the end.

Ray’s head perked in the distance, “Hey, Felicia and Monica are more important than any school work given. Kay, they are my inspiration.”

Nate could only laugh, and I joined in. “I see you like the housewives shows.” I guessed.

Raymond looked angry for a second but gave a shock of pleasant surprise. “THAT is a girl of modern aged culture, learn from her.” He gave a laugh and looked back at his phone.

Everyone laughed again, Nate nodded down at me, “You watch that stuff?” He whispered in my ear.

“No, my mom does. I catch her watching it when she isn’t cleaning.” I gave a chuckle alongside Nate, sharing what I thought was a new friendship. “So, this is basically another desktop that I can work on from here?”

“Yea, of course play with as well. Say…” Nate straightened himself up and faced to the other teammates. “You guys want to play a game really quick?”

“Sounds great!” Jones replied. He got up from the couch and sat in his chair. “How about everyone else?”

“Already on it!” Sonya rejoiced as she sat down.

“Alright.” Nate patted the chair, “Good luck, Cat!” Thanks, I’m going to need it for such a new environment.

I noticed everyone else had sat down and opened the game, I did the same. Same username, same password, new environment. It’s strange how far I’ve come, I never thought I’d be in this position. I got five friend requests already, seeing “centralian” add me into a party with the new members. I accepted, seeing a spectacular ERROR 404 above our time ticking down.

“Tank.” Jon called out.

“Damage.” Raymond called out as well. I looked at them, seeing them glued onto their screens.

“Healer!” Chloe’s squeak echoed.

“Damage.” Sonya’s powerful voice spoke.

“Flank.” Nate finally called out. I looked at him, seeing he sat right next to me. He looked at me and nodded.

“Flank.” I called out, rather quietly and nervously. I felt a pounding in my chest, something that gave me anxiety, but I was so happy to be doing this! I couldn’t stop smiling! I took the headset from my backpack and plugged it in, pulling my microphone down for the voice chat. Looked to the screen and settled with Sardine again. I’ve been playing her for a while these few days, might as well keep the trend.

After a few seconds, we were in the game. I was Sardine… I am Sardine. I closed my eyes, then opened.

I was in the game, seeing everyone else around me in their respective characters. “Good luck, you’re gonna need it.” I turned to the 3D gunslinger who spoke, he must’ve been Raymond.

“Huehuehue! Who crawled from the closet!” I heard a high-pitched voice, must’ve been Necro Nancy. I always loved her character. Her voiced lines were simply amazing to hear. I turned to see Nancy’s small figure with monsters swarming around… must’ve been Chloe emoting.

“Can you hear us?” I heard Sonya clearly. These were old headphones; the noise wasn’t cancelled that well outside of the game. I looked to see an Aesir under the name of Ampoku… that was Sonya’s user.

“Perfectly.” I replied. I looked around, seeing two more silhouettes on the other side of the base. A Cerces and a Spider user. “Nyanyanya!” I used my Pounce option; the automatic voiced lines were what I loved most! I immediately ran into the Spider with the user centralian… Nate! Cerces must’ve been Jones, he’s the only tanker.

“Hahaa! You ready for some meddling!” The Cerces voice echoed in the base. The Spider looked at me with his black shades. In a fancy tuxedo, like the James Bond of Freesia.

“5… 4… 3…” The countdown started to happen.

“Sardine, you’re right flank. Spider, go left.” Cerces amusingly called out. I forgot, Jones was the shot caller. “Chloe heal middle with me, damage can follow flanks and guard mid.”

“Got it.” The Aesir agreed.

“2… 1…” The announcer paused for a second.

I’m excited! “Capture the objective!” The announcer finally called out and released the doors. Alright! Let’s do this!”

“Nyanyanya! I better get some fish out of this!” Sardine called out, I felt like I did instead. I got into Pounce and immediately took off, getting into the left lane right off the bat.

This is going to be fun!

Notes:

Annette (Categen): Sardine

Chloe (Jewele): Necro Nancy

Sonya (Ampoku): Aesir

Jones (eXO98): Cerces

Nate (centralian): Spider

Raymond (Deadb8): D-3

Start time: 5:31 PM on 2/24/19 (6:30 break) picked up again at 11:16 PM

End time: 11:50 PM 2/24/19

Most Eliminations, the one… the only!

CATEGEN

as Sardine

“Girl!” I can hear Sara’s voice scratch into the call. She doesn’t have the best microphone, but she’s planning on getting a new one soon for 2019. “You seriously need to harness those talents, Annette!”

“Like I’m not?” I chuckled a little. Most eliminations, hell yea I’m harnessing my talent! “If I keep this up, I’ll be top ranked in no time.” 28 killing bows, my average is usually 32. This is me being rusty!

I heard an exasperated sigh from the headset. “You know what I mean, join a team!”

Here it goes, the team nonsense again. “Sara, really?”

“There’s Golden Dust, Vector, RissK… that one I can’t pronounce because it’s Latin – so many!” Sara always had the image of joining a professional team, she stalks the streaming sites for the championships every year. Her persistence amazes me sometimes, but she insists that I am the one to join a team. She’s in the top 15% as a tank, I’m confused why she doesn’t want to herself.

“I’m not looking for one, and you know that.” I said, rather sternly. I was somewhat fed up with the nonsensical imagination, but I do like the idea that I’m qualified enough to be in a team. “Professional gaming isn’t really my forte.” I spun around in my swivel chair, knowing I needed to log off soon. “You know why.”

“Your parents wouldn’t mind a thing!” Sara almost screamed through the headset. “Literally, they accepted me like I was their kid. I’m like the worst influence in your life too!" The amount of happiness she gave off worries me about that... "I think gaming wouldn’t be so bad anyways.”

“They don’t want me to play all day. It’s not really a job.”

“You can earn thousands!”

“It’s not about money, it’s about the time.” I sighed, with extra curriculars and school… I would never have enough time to professionally game. I’m just in it for the fun. “I don’t have that time.”

“Annette!” I heard my mom call me name. I instinctively sat myself upright and held onto the chair arms.

“I have to go.” I told Sara.

I could hear her laughing from the yell. “Time’s calling again, huh?”

“Mhmm.” I muffled, I turned around in the chair and began logging out. I looked back at my history, all victories since 4 pm today. “Later.”

“See ya!”

I turned my computer off as well as the desk lamp. A final spin to get up and go to bed! Long Tuesday evening, I just realized it was 11 pm. School’s in a few hours then, for once I should get a good 7 hour sleep.

Thus I did.

Riiiiiiing. Riiiiiiing.

Who… why? I ever so slightly woke up to a bright screen vibrating on my nightstand. Riiiiiiing. Riiiiiiing. I stared a little closer, as much as I can without my glasses.

Sara Saito is calling!

No way. I looked to the corner of the phone.

4 in the freaking morning.

God… damn.

I swiped the green. “Hello?” I drowsily responded, I know I sounded like I didn’t want to be woken up… I hope she picks up on the hint.

“GIRL GET UP!” Sara screamed into the phone. I had to pull the phone away from my ear, and I can still hear her squabbling. “ANNETTE, DID YOU HEAR?”

“Not after that yell.” I mumbled. “I’m trying really hard to properly sleep. New Year’s Day is literally tomorrow…”

“It’s December 31st, you NEED to get online and see the new updates!”

“It’s 4 am.”

“ANNETTE!”

“Fine.” I planted my face into my pillow and threw my arm over to search for my glasses. Eventually, I got my glasses and got up. I didn’t expect my day to start at 4 am already. I went to my desktop and turned on the game. The noise echoed from my headset, I didn’t know the volume was that loud.

The bright screen made me squint, but I could see the new update screen. Big large letters spelled:

NEW SEASON 2019

Are you prepared for the latest updates coming to you in 2019? Here’s the latest in Freesia Online!

“You woke me up, for announcements.”

“There’s team listings too! Like a separate column just for them! Easy pickings now!”

“Sara.”

“Come on! New season! New 2019!”

“It’s 4 am.”

“Try it out!”

“How about you try it out.” I logged back off and headed back to bed, I can hear her voice through the phone still. “Top 15%, I’m sure you’d do great.”

“Annette! This is a lifetime opportunity! Like come on, no one knows the game better than you. Number 9 tops, been on for years, Annette! I know you’d have tons of fun, you’re just dismissing it! Please, give it a cha-” I hung up. It started sounding like a lame speech to why I should join.

I was wide awake now. Drowsy and reluctant, but now I can’t go back to bed. I looked at the site on mobile, seeing 35 teams already signed for the new season. You can look at the team name and all the players in it, and the win ratios as well. I can see many of the teams are filled out with the 6 players, some very well-known players too. I remember playing with Draggon and Aishi once. To think they’re on different teams now. I found myself in Natus Pugnare’s page, they are one of the most feared 6 stack on Freesia Online. Slyf0x, Creteevi, Starseen, even X345… godlike. They are such a collaborative team, an amazing show to watch in the championships. In fact, they won the last three years in a row. Flawless victories too.

Then, I found myself looking at ERROR 404. That was the team name. The team players were also well known… maybe not Natus Pugnare known but still up there in players. I’ve played with two or three of them, but Evelit is a new one. I scrolled down their players… only 5. “Guess they don’t have a full team yet.” I whispered to myself before locking my phone again. ERROR have very high leveled players, I bet that slot will be filled soon enough.

I found myself drowsing off again, comfortably in my bed.

Start time: 2:33 AM on 2/23/19

End time: 4:00 AM on 2/23/19

Just… a tad closer… I just need to wait a little longer. I know I’m small, just charge the shot.

I started sharpening my claws, seeing the silver almost shave off in tiny slivers. “Nya… ha… ha…” I excitedly stayed still behind the boxes.

“To the left!” The man had called out. I heard three loud shots from his powered gun. He ran over to the box side.

Bingo.

“Nya!” I yelled out as I jumped from my crouch to a pounce onto the victim. His leather armor was horribly ripped up as the coloring had been stripped away by my claws. I rose my arm for a slash, one more hit and he would be dead!

“Annette!” I heard my mom’s voice yell out. I looked over the gunslinger’s shoulder to see an upset calico cat waiting impatiently in an apron and oven mitts. I had a serious moment of confusion, then the gunslinger put his guns to my chest and pulled the trigger to instantly kill me.

“No!” I yelled out, obviously in frustration. I looked around, seeing my room again. The poster filled walls, the bed waiting patiently, my door being banged on. “Mom?” I called out, at least for her to stop.

“Dinner’s ready! Spaghetti tonight!” Mom yelled back. Oh goodness spaghetti, how I love spaghetti.

I heard a laughing echo in my headset, what a bunch of losers. “Your mom made you die on the point?” I heard the man’s voice shrill like hideous metal. “That’s hilarious!”

I heard a pitied chuckle from another friend, then a distressed sigh. “Get your head in the game Austin.”

“Yea.” I talked back in chat. “Thanks mom!” I yelled back. I felt her footsteps march away, and I was back in the game. I closed my eyes then opened, my cat claws sharpened, and the daggers dug neatly into my utility belt. “Where’s that D-3?” I entered my pounce and had twice the jumping power and double the running speed. I rushed around our team’s base, scouting for any sort of 3D glasses prick hovering above the 400 HP.

I’m not used to being Sardine, she isn’t usually the flank I’d go with, but she can be fun! I play Freesia Online, a MOBA where you attack the opposing team and gain the point or capture the objective and deliver the cargo. Sounds like most other games, not very original, but this is by far the most popular. Millions of players, hundreds of characters, unlimited playing abilities. I, for one, am addictive to this game for years. As one of the top 10 players, my rank is 9 as Categen. I’ve been a member for 5 years, I’ve never grown away from it.

This is particularly funny; my parents don’t like this game and don’t know how far I’ve gotten. Number 9 of millions, that number boggles my mind! I don’t necessarily tell them all the details, just that I’m going online to play some games. They don’t care, but I doubt they’d accept that I play Freesia.

“I need healing dammit!” That annoying shrill echoed again. Austin, again, “Valerie!”

“You really need to control yourself, jeez.” Valerie’s innocent cry echoed across the battle field. A violet gleam appeared on the other side of the map, “Persisting Thoughts!” She yelled out. I looked at the sky, seeing darkened spirits zoom everywhere and latched onto a player. “Heal!” She yelled second. I felt all my wounds instantly seal up and heal.

“I shouldn’t need to tell you your job.” Austin rushed by as his stupid ninja character. His flung one shuriken and it didn’t even collide with the opponent, it only gave his position away. The Glacia he was faced again pointed her staff to the unsuspecting bullet of Austin and casted an ice curse… she slowed the ninja down. “Valerie!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, of course he’d be that toxic DPS main. Valerie couldn’t help with it, she was only Necro Nancy! She could heal us but not of our status conditions.

Another sigh exhaled into the voice call, “Austin, I swear.” The husky voice drowned the incessant squabbling. “Glacia isn’t even that fast, you can kill her.” I looked around seeing the shiny armor of Cerces himself. A sturdy “Hahaha!” echoed as he impaled and disintegrated an opponent.

“Not when I’m slowed down too!” Austin yelled back, I chuckled again.

“Annette! Left lane!” A new voice entered, seemingly the only one who I trust most. I turned to the left and entered pounce again after using Nine Lives, I dashed on all fours and jumped onto the opposing Beadle. Everyone hates Beadle, might as well end him here.

I jumped onto the mini bug thing and saw him turn around the other direction in fear. A terrified “AhhHHHH MOMMY!” echoed from the kid, I chased him. He had adorable voiced lines! I had the obvious speed advantage though and used Slash immediately.

SLAYED MONOSTAT

“Yes!” I called to myself, “Nice shotcall Sara!”

I saw the defensive mage herself emerge from the corner and gave me a thumbs up emote. “No problem! Tried to chase him!”

She was Kianne, a mage who was a tank. She didn’t have much of a speed advantage like me, so I was a sensible choice. I heard a creak to the right and ran away once more. “Roberto, look after mid! Get the objective!”

No words were spoken. Everyone was focused on their missions. We were surprised by the sudden

OBJECTIVE CAPTURED

that appeared on the screen. Roberto was one aggressive tank despite the amusing personality.

“Annette, Right!”

“Got it!” I entered pounce, seeing my cooldowns have reached zero. I zoomed to the other side of the map, I can see the multiple fights gathering around. Sara with the constant pushing onto the two DPS, Valerie staying distantly away from the fighting and still earning her credits by the long shots, and our favorite toxic Austin with his quick plays. I can’t not love this game.

I can’t ever leave it to rot in my hard drive.

Number 9 is such an achievement… and I am one of the best flankers and a DPS main.

I got the call, a few days later.

Start time: 4:00 AM 2/18/19

End time: 4:49 AM 2/18/19

It’s simply time to start anew. It’s boggled my mind I haven’t thought of this sooner. Everyone surrounding me, just another character. Those who simply pass by without a word, those who stay beside me throughout everything, myself included… we’re all characters.

I can go around talking about everyone, those who I hate and those I can’t bare to lose. Those who are real, and those who are fake. Yes, imaginary friends. The ghosts battling to stay by me, the angels from dying stars who act as muses, the demons crawling to bid me a good day, the shadows crawling, and the singular love I have for the cat that has dearly passed away a year ago. Parasitic girls, dark angels, an honest dude who can turn into a fox, a cult that supports the parasitic girl, everything in between. It’s simply my mind transmitting several stories into my everyday life.

So, instead, I’d like to introduce this podcast. It’s not, exactly… made for everyone. Rather, I’m using this as a relaxing technique. It’s like those times you record your voice for a message in the future, imagine this like that! I’d record everything in a diary of sorts. Simply bring my friends together for a podcast where we all chat nonsense into the never-ending day.

“On the air.” The voice called out, I broke out of my trance of writing. I jolted my head up at the voice to see the light turn green.

“Hello my lovely demons!” AZ clearly announced himself. He had a flirtatious voice despite being a young guy, I was almost charmed. His black wings spread themselves in a defensive manner too. This must’ve felt a tad confident for him.

“You idiot,” Al started next, “…nobody’s listening.”

I broke into a laughing fit hearing Al blatantly point that out. It seemed funny to hear Al… the angel fallen as a star… tell AZ… the dark angel who tried to kill me… that he was an idiot. Al joined in my laughing nature, seeing how AZ turned into disgust as we enjoyed ourselves.

“Yes!” I intervened, seeing how he wasn’t exactly enjoying this anymore. I saw him chuckle, he saw the loophole too. “Yes! Welcome! This is the Podcast of Insanity! I’m your host, Jessica Hamilton.”

“You’re going to say your whole name?” AZ pointed out.

“I don’t see the problem.”

“You are literally the most dangerous witch out there and everyone can listen back to these and find you through them.”

“But it’s funny!” Al interjected the comment.

Sure, I was targeted by almost any opposing force. Reasons, I can’t say… it’s a little hectic. Some want me dead since I can ruin the future at any extent. Others want to use my powers as a witch. I’m not exactly… trained in combat. You could say I lacked… “experience” with my powers. I didn’t know about these powers until I was 16, and even so I can’t fully operate with them. I think I look cool knowing I can imagine these powers activating and disrupting one dimension. I have absolutely no control when it comes to reality. I can’t use, conjure, nor speak of my powers to those around me. They would probably think of it to be weird anyways.

“Who’s to talk about today?” I commented again. We always went on random tangents at home, recording these would be helpful for me in the long run. “How about Eve?”

Al and AZ groaned in unison. Despite being completely different sides, they act like synchronized brothers together. “Eve, Anabel, what even is she now?” Al went on to complain.

AZ brought himself back up, “Let’s recap, Eve. She’s a literal parasite.”

“Not really, you know that.” I started again. “She is an actual human who is out for my blood. She wants to… what control me? She runs a cult targeting any magic tracers. I’m pretty easy to spot with the sins and angels around me.”

“Yea but, Eve is like psychotically insane.” Al started instead, I expected AZ to interject. “She’s like trying to destroy you through your own actions.”

I can’t say this is true, but it certainly isn’t false. I have these insane breakdowns sometimes where I turn myself into someone I barely even know, only have I ever shown them at home in the dead of night. Apparently, Eve has broken down into my bloodstream and gained access to my brain. I don’t know the exact details, but she has partial control over me. When she does gain control, she taps into what I think is flirtatious and scandalous. She’s manipulative of the people around me, a wild “Jessica” who only ever acts the part she plays. I notice with several fantasies that she acts as a bug and uses me to gather intel… but to also have tons of fun as well. She’s unable to get “inside” me for a few months, but it’s always when I’m depressed or in an unstable mental state can she plug herself in. I hope this never happens in the public eye.

“Now what about Red Eye?” AZ asked.

I laughed aloud, “He’s such an oblivious fool.” In fact, he was. He doesn’t realize that Eve will never love him that way. His bouquet of decorative knives was deemed “stupid” by Eve’s terms.

“Red Eye is like… the person you use everyday unknowing that he wants to be closer to you.” Al summed up, “He’s like, the only person who actually supports Eve’s cause… only because he likes Eve.”

“Ah, he doesn’t sound all that dumb.” AZ complimented the sadistic couple, “He’s rather intelligent. He was the one who came up with the technology to see through your eyes, Jess.”

“Or, did he state a rather dumb idea and Eve saw through it something decent.” I chuckled again. “The entire cult is head over heels for Eve, who really knows why because I sure don’t.”

“You know her better than anyone.” I looked at Al, rather disturbed at that information. “She dials into you, you fight with her daily.”

“All I know is she has a cult to kill any magic dweller on the physical plane. She can’t even try to enter the other dimensional planes I walk through.”

“She taps into you; don’t you think she sees the multiple planes too?”

I didn’t know. I never thought past all that. “I don’t think so, Spirit gave my eyes the ability to see through my glasses. She only ever enters when it’s nighttime and I’m trying to sleep.”

The two boys only ever nodded, agreeing that we shouldn’t discuss these ideas to be in the open.

I looked at the clock on the wall, seeing the hour chime to 6 pm. “Oh, dinnertime.”

“I’m starving!” Al announced.

“You can’t eat, Al.” AZ rolled his eyes as I exited the room.

“I can mentally eat.”

I left my room, the two angels to chat amongst themselves.

Start time: 4:36 PM 2/10/19

End time: 5:38 PM 2/10/19

She stood near me, comforting me in any sort of way she thought would help. “Trust me. Like, really trust me! It’s… it can be a bit overwhelming at first.”

She took my hand and held it tight. “I still don’t believe it.” I flatly called out, seeing the hope disappear like her smile. “This is ridiculous.”

“No! Wait.” She held my hands and she got closer to my face. I can see her blue eyes, a faint galaxy glossed over. I always saw that was special in her, but it was never linked to this ability. “Trust me, alright?”

I rolled my eyes and squeezed to her hands like she did mine. I looked into her eyes, seeing them shift. The stars in her galaxy eyes twinkled, like they would at night. Blue slowly morphed into a red, magenta color. It was indescribable. Her smile wore off into a mindless gap, seeing how she paid no attention to the surroundings around us. I looked around instead, seeing the objects on the table slowly levitate. Her hair defied gravity, the books did too. I felt weightless, I was off the ground. She was too! What is happening? I looked at her necklace, a golden glow floating to her face. I followed, retracing back to her magenta eyes. There was no pupil, just a starry galaxy.

She blinked, the world was back. The blue glossy galaxy and pupil were back, we dropped to the floor again. “Maria, was it?”

Maria? She passed away a year ago. “No, no way.”

She gave a deep sigh and smiled, a kind of smile where her eyes ever so slightly closed, and tears had started forming. “Trust me.” She closed her eyes and bowed slightly, I can see tears stream slightly from her eyes. She moved out of the way, revealing her.

Maria.

She was… she was there. She wasn’t, but she was. She had the classic wavy brunette hair and the flowy white blouse she loved. Of course, she was ghostlier and pale… but I can see the tanned skin still, the makeup blush she liked to put on and the obvious mascara. She was there, I… no way could she be.

“Theodore.” She called to me. I can see the tears rush in and stream down her face, not ruining the perfected makeup. “Teddy, baby.” She whimpered, she was here. She was truly here. “Teddy, I missed you so much.” As she walked up, I felt hot tears drip from my eyes. I grew weak in my knees and dropped immediately. My heart raced, beating so quickly I couldn’t comprehend the feeling.

I felt the feeling on my back, a weight being pushed against my front. I looked up, seeing the ghostly body cling onto me. “Finally, I’m perfectly fine… see?” She let go and kneeled before me. Her face streamed with tears, “Look at me, Teddy. I’m fine! You were so worried, I understand. But I’m completely okay.” She placed one hand on my shoulder, I felt that pressure.

My chest still raced with my heart pounding. “Maria?” I heard myself speak. I was crying, that was a weak voice that came out. “Maria, is that you?” My voice cracked in that sentence, the tears only coming more frequently. I went out and hugged her, feeling a cooler touch than from her hand. I felt weird, I can’t describe this feeling. It was hard to see her, I felt lost and now I feel like everything is right again.

“It’s me.” I heard her whimper the words, “I’m here, you can see me.”

We were there, at least a minute, of just us hugging. I couldn’t let go, I didn’t want to let go. She was my sister, everything I hoped and dreamed of was to see her after that car accident… and she’s here. I didn’t want to let go, not anymore, not ever. I missed her so much, I still cry ever since the funeral announced her burial.

“It’s…” Zoey started, I looked up seeing her eyes had changed to a deeper red color, “It’s time to go.”

“No.” I whispered. I couldn’t believe this, it was only a minute. She was here for only a minute! “No! She can stay with us!” I heard my voice crack into tears again. I couldn’t stop myself. “Longer, please.”

To no avail, I felt her slowly space away from me. The pressure on my shoulders were lifted and I couldn’t feel her body wrapped in my arms. “Teddy.” I heard her call out. I looked out, seeing her face dissolve into the surrounding area. “Please visit me, with the family.”

“Stay longer! Maria you can’t leave us again!” I yelled out. I tried to touch her, grab her and force her back. But she stood up. I stood up, seeing an obvious difference in heights. I was now taller than her she smiled.

She reached her hands, as pale and dainty as they might seem, up to my face. The last touch I had felt from her. “Take good care, both of yourself and our family.” With that, Maria went back to Zoey. She looked at me and sniffled. Zoey took her hand and she disappeared.

Zoey looked faint and regained her balance, only holding her head in what looked like a migraine. She looked at me, her eyes back to normal. I went up and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to my face and making me look into those eyes. They were blue, the pupils were back and the galaxy was still glossed over. “What!” I yelled out loud, she pushed herself away. I now realize how awkward and forceful that grab must’ve felt.

“She sees over you for a while, and I knew today was the day you could have seen her again. She did die today.” Zoey stated. “I don’t do this often, and when I do it’s for the pets all around us. I take care of them the best I can. Help them find their homes one way or another.”

“Your… you…” I couldn’t find the words. I sat myself in the chair behind me, trying to comprehend such a sight. “You saw Maria… she was here, I… we…”

“She stays around you for everything, even now.” Zoey sat next to me, putting her hand on my shoulder. “She wants to make sure you are okay, and I’m here to help deliver that promise to tell you… she’s okay.”

She was here. I got to see her today on her Death day.

I got to see her… why did that feel so bittersweet?

Start time: 9:07 PM 2/5/19 BREAK AT 9:30 PM / START UP AT 11:08 PM

End time: 11:22 PM

I’ve seen it all. People come and go all the time. It’s my job, I make it happen essentially. Rather, I’m getting kind of fed up with many of these people.

Like, Bob for example. Oh, Bob Rainsford. How I hate that man. He’s so idiotic at times, I always get called up to his house to see him with a dumb expression of, “Wait, that killed me?” as if it wouldn’t have killed him earlier. One time, he was in a rush and a piece of bread got stuck in the toaster. He then proceeded to get the toast out with a metal fork. I gave permission to resurrect him, looking like a false death (He lives alone with no witness around). I thought, he deserved the second life… then died later in the year to wasps when he knocked their nest down. It wasn’t even near his house, he was in a park. He’d greet me with a “Yo, Death” every time he sees me in the afterlife, at least act professional!

Though, my job is hard at times too. Lately, I’ve been dealing with a bunch of suicide victims. Some depressed for a lifetime, others simply want to forget instead of forgive something. Sadly, most times I can’t give them a second life. The most recent incident was this young teenage girl. I walked up to her, seeing her draping body in a noose tied to a tree branch. The ghostly girl was looking at her body, touching and falling through. “Hey.” I’d say to her, and she spun around to look at me.

She looked confused, but then started to cry. She got up and ran up to me, a huge hug with a sob. “I’m so sorry.” She’d mutter in my robe. She only hugged me tighter and wailed louder.

“Don’t be sorry to me.” I murmured back, “You know you will be dearly missed.” I felt her, pulling herself away from me and then look up to my face. Her face was streaming with tears, the most hope and emotion I have seen from her.

She kneeled to the ground as we looked at the limp body from the tree. “My family would actually miss me?” She’d ask, mumbling through her tears.

“100%” I replied. I held my hand out for her to grab, “Are you ready to go?”

She looked up with swollen teary eyes. “I can’t go back, can I?”

I felt a sudden heartbreak each time that happens. The people who want to go back, knowing full well that they were be sorely missed and cannot fathom a moment being gone. That’s what’s heartbreaking in my job. I can only shake my head and they’d grab my hand. This happens often. Especially lately in the 21st century. I think a year or two ago, I had a young teenage boy having family issues and had committed suicide. He was rather glad he escaped his life. I asked about his family, and all the good moments flooded back. He was sad, disappointed… but still willing to move on. I helped him out.

Sometimes my job is rather… painful to witness. Murders, shootings, the like… I am suddenly there during the scene to see a man stabbing a lady 43 times with a blunt kitchen knife. I’m horrified by it all, the lady’s ghost is too. Then… we just watch the man carry the dead corpse in his hands and sob. A pitiful “I’m sorry” is to be echoed, but the lady couldn’t bare to watch anything more. She took my hand and I helped her out. I can’t say I’ve dealt with a good fair share of these incidents, but I can’t say that I haven’t either. The trend seems to be increasing too, what a shame.

I get more stories to run through my head, some very interesting scenes too. Like those murders where the murder steals the victim’s eye or something, I find those people to be incredibly… interesting. Call me sadistic or psychotic for thinking so, I am Death.

In the end, I always return to work. I always come back to those who’ve fallen. War victims, those who die in a car accident, a tragic murder scene, a misfire, dumb deaths, animals dying and seeing their owners, everything in the like. People who can’t bare to move on, people who are willing to leave the old life behind, and those who are too greedy to accept anything that had just happened. I meet every kind of person. Paint me as the villain, or a hero, or a simple deity you cannot explain. I’m here to help you in the afterlife. Guide your way to Nirvana, or go to Heaven or Hell, reincarnate into something different, what have you. You always die in the end. It’s a lonely road to get into the afterlife, realizing everything that loved you or you once loved is gone… let me help guide you to a happier place.

I have more stories about all my death experiences… and those involved… I wanted to share a few with you. Though, in a diary such as this, I don’t think it matters who reads this. Give them a helping hand, Death, it’s rewarding for everyone to help move on.

Remember when you had died, remember that help that was offered… be like him. Okay, Death?

Start time: 4:05 PM 2/4/19

End time: 4:33 PM 2/4/19

“Welcome to the agency.” He said with a rather raspy tone. I assumed his voice would be deep and husky, given his posture and position in office. “You must have a tour immediately. It is quite a massive build.”

I wanted to decline, however, I wanted to keep the new job. “That would be great, thank you Mr. Asgon!” I gave a slight bow with a wide smile.

The boss had picked up his phone and pushed a single button. “Michael, could you be up here immediately?” He paused and nodded, “Of course, thank you.” Then, he put the phone down. “He’ll be right with you?”

I paused once more. Rather, I lost most words in the sheer amount of excitement I gained. I was just accepted to be part of this job, a Writer’s Unit! I’m not a writer, per se, but I am one of the organizers. “Might I ask, who is Michael?” I gathered the courage to say. Suddenly an eccentric brightness opened the door abruptly.

“Hello!” The man excitedly said. I was rather shocked at the sudden burst, but I wouldn’t let that dampen my own spirit. “I’m Michael!” He had a skinny physique in his common suit. He looked dapper, in a modern and casual way. “I’ll be your tour guide for today! Please, keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times!” He jumped 180 degrees and started marching. “All aboard!” He chugged his way out of the office, a deep voice chuckled behind me. I smiled and jumped on.

I was exposed to the huge expense the office was. It was tiered like a mall, four layers of huge ceilings and papers everywhere. The entire first floor had caught light from the huge windows. I looked down, over the glass railing, seeing stacks upon stacks of paper piling onto each other. The people at desks all had laptops and typed constantly, a few had taken a small break for water while the people walked past.

“That’s the main floor.” Michael had stated. “They keep track of every thought or evidence of the mind. Pretty handy!” He kept walking forward, I followed. “This is the third floor, 3 of 7!” He stated loudly.

“7? Where’s the other 4 rooms.” I asked, knowing nothing about the new adventures in this district.

“We’ll get there eventually.” Michael laughed it off. “Oh, there’s Fabio!”

I looked forward to what Michael had mentioned. A fashionable man was surrounded by mannequins. He ran his fingers in what looked like fluffy gelled hair. He was pacing back and forth while on the phone, pacing angrily might I add. “Is he doing okay?”

“Doesn’t seem to look like it!” Michael happily added. He went over and opened the door, I peeked inside.

“DOES IT LOOK LIKE THE 1800s MARGARET?” He yelled loudly, not realizing the two guests who have entered the room. “WE ARE TALKING ABOUT BUSTLE SKIRTS AND FINE LINING, YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WEAR GODDAMNED PANTALOONS!”

“Fabio works with the fashion of the novels. As people go out to get the products for fashion as well as deliver the outfits to the characters of the certain story; he delivers not only one but two outfits! One for the carrier who will act as a minor character, and one for the main protagonist.” Michael explained in a slight whisper. “Hey Fabio!”

“NO, DON’T YOU DARE TRY AND BUSTLE THAT SKIRT. YOU WILL DO IT WRONG.” I couldn’t help but notice a certain accent behind Fabio. “COME BACK TO THE AGENCY, NOW.” He pushed his head while he turned to us. “Michael!” His tone shifted drastically to a sweet and loving voice. He walked over and gave two air kisses. “How are you sweet pea?”

Michael gave a sweet chuckle. “Doing great! I’m giving the recruit a tour of the office today. Want to add anything.”

Fabio leaned over, showing a sparkle in his suit and tie. “Welcome to the Writer’s Unit, I hope you…” he paused and his face scrunched. “MARGARET, THE MAIN PROTAGONIST NEEDS THE CORRECT OUTFIT OR ELSE THE TIMELINE IS COMPLETELY RUINED! ACCURACY IS MY MAIN PRIORITY AND YOU ARE MAKING THIS 10 TIMES MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT SHOULD BE!” Fabio lashed at his phone and paced back to his original angriness again.

“Nice to meet you too…” I sighed, slightly disappointed that he stopped. “Is Margaret going to make it?”

“Probably not... though, Fabio’s being a tad easier on her today!” Michael added. That’s him, being nicer? I’m scared to know what his absolute breaking point is. “Next stop!”

I put my smile on and march behind Michael again. I’ll update you in the next entry!

Start time: 11:01 PM 1/30/19

End time: 11:44 PM 1/30/19

29: Good Vibes

It hasn’t been a good day today. I’m beyond tired, I’m beyond disappointed. I was convinced that I was not excellent in what I thought I had advanced in. It’s safe to say, I put in so much hard work in that month and a half. It’s very heart breaking when you put in that hard work and instead getting a near failing score. Like you’ve been stabbed with the revelation that… you write and still failed. I spent years writing… and I still failed.

Of course, this isn’t going to be the end of the world for me. I want to go forward, both writing and of learning. Though, that heartache was a tad too great for me.

Not many good vibes in return.

Thus, I walked into my room and sat down to reflect. I was reminded how I used a passive voice, though I didn’t know what that was. I was told about the over complication my sentences got, I didn’t know how to fix that. I was told that my grammar was incorrect in many places that I never had a grip, I was clueless on how to fix that.

I just gave a sigh, just a sigh. I relaxed back and put on my headphones. My music, everything melted away.

Sure, it was annoying and disappointing to have failed what you thought you nailed. But what can you do? Just need to go forward, wait for the next essay and apply what I had messed up on.

I can’t stay here and cry, let’s move forward instead!

Yeah! Let’s go!

Start time: 10:24 PM 1/29/19

End time: 10:56 PM 1/29/19

28: Shadow

I love to hum tunes, little did I know that people answered them. I’d sit outside, lovingly waiting for a conversation, so I can feel some meaning into what is essentially a useless life. So I hum a tune while I sit in the cold calming night.

They love to come out and join me. I love to listen. It’s nice to hear them.

Other times it isn’t.

What am I to do anyways?

It's soothing.

Start time: 12:52 AM 1/29/19 (late by like an hour or two >:c)

End time: 1:01 AM 1/29/19