The other day I was in class and I happened to look over at one side of the room as people were filing in and finding seats. This one guy was trying to find a place to sit and sat right next to this girl. I looked at her face and for a split second I saw love mixed with pure joy as she looked at him. Later I realized that they were married and it made everything even sweeter to me.

I keep coming back and thinking about this moment I happened to see. It made me feel so lonely. Some of my bestest friends just got boyfriends and its made me feel a little left out in my friend group. I don't want a boyfriend right now - I think 19 is a good age - but I do want that feeling of completion that comes from finding "the one."

I want to someday find the someone who looks at me that way, and who I can look at that way. He doesn't have to be perfect, just the perfect match for me.

February 10, 1840

Diana,

With winter steadily coming to an end, I finally came to the conclusion of what my plans are for the farm. I hope to build the homestead into something large and magnificent, now that I have the time. I am relieved to be far away from all of the politics and laws that plagued and disgusted me so in Washington; I am overjoyed to pour my attention into the work on the farm.

Writing you more often has truly served to help me. Admittedly, I still often feel lonely, lost, and empty, but I am happy and even feel blessed to be a more certain presence in Oliver’s life during this time.

In my last letter to you, I mentioned that Oliver and I are still strangers, hardly ever speaking. As of late, though, he and I have been able to share more than just five sentences daily. He is still closed off and withdrawn, but I feel as if I am finally getting to know my son. I have learned that he has a great passion for literature. He spends most of his days reading one piece of writing after another. I am both concerned and intrigued by this interest of his...

It worries me to hear of Rosie’s growing vehemence toward Jackson; if you possibly can, try to focus her attention elsewhere. I fear what she might do in this dangerous state of seeking revenge. Remind her of the resulting consequences that her actions will have on Lily...I beg you to speak to her; she will listen to you.

Chadwick gritted his teeth, leaning back into the chair. For a moment, he contemplated informing Diana of his recent dizziness and intermittent loss of sight, telling her of his fears for his own health. Deciding against it, he ended off the letter, his eyes barely registering the penned words.

Early June 1840

The sounds of the bustling city swarmed around Owen and Diana as they strolled outside, a few streets away from the newspaper office. Both were busy with their own thoughts.

It had been a few months now since Chadwick first started sending regular letters to Diana, something that simultaneously delighted and worried Owen. The sudden onslaught of letters haunted him, making him question if his uncle was truly doing as well as he claimed to be. He knew that his mother was also very much concerned for her brother.

“What is the latest news from Uncle Chadwick and Cousin Oliver?” He asked. “I saw the pile of mail this morning.”

“Oh, the usual news. The homestead is not developing as well as he hoped. Oliver still keeps mainly to himself. The weather. Advice on how to keep our dear, revengeful Rosie at bay,” she sighed. “You might be more interested in hearing the latest from Norfolk.”

“Did one of my cousins finally settle down?” He chuckled absentmindedly, his eyes scanning around them.

“No, but William has decided upon moving to Baltimore.” She paused.

“Flower said that he wishes to join the college of dental surgery which has been established there.”

“He finally made up his mind on a career, has he?” The reply came, but was left unanswered.

“I think I will write Flower and tell her to send him to come and visit us first. Maybe he’ll find New York to be a better opportunity.”

“By the time your letter reaches Aunt Flower, Mother Di, William will have already left hearth and home. I do wish there were a faster method of communication available.” He sighed.

“That reminds me, dear. We have a special guest that Tyler invited for dinner. He supposedly has some remarkable idea to help with faster communication,” she breathed in excitement.

“What is his name?”

“Samuel Morse.”

Early September 1840

Owen rushed up the stairs, fully aware that he was late for dinner.

Barging through the door, he was halted at the sight of two young people sitting on the sofa. The woman was a much younger resemblance of his Aunt Roselyn and the young man vaguely reminded him of his Uncle Farragut.

“Owen,” Diana said, rising from her seat, “you are just in time for dinner. Hope and William have agreed to join us tonight. It seems that my letter did reach their mother in time.” She smiled, a twinkle in her eye.

“How long do you plan on staying in New York?” Owen asked William, as the three cousins strolled down a street of New York the following morning.

“I’m only here for two weeks. After that,” William replied, “I am heading toward Baltimore. I only allowed myself to be persuaded in visiting New York because of the Society of Dental Surgeons.” He smiled at his sister. “Hope decided to join me; I’m not sure if it was for keeping me company or for the adventure that, at times, accompany such a journey,” he chuckled.

“Not concerned about your suitor back in Norfolk, Hope?” Owen teased, resulting in a blush from her side.

“No, since there is none.”

“I don’t believe it. My pretty cousin has neither suitor nor beau? Are the men down there blind?”

“Yes, I do believe,” William laughed. “None of them seem interested in my sister; those fools.”

“The right one just hasn’t come along yet,” the sweet answer slipped over her lips. She smiled, before addressing her cousin, “Owen, you must take pity on me and escort me around someday. I am determined to experience as much as possible of everything in New York during the next two weeks.”

“Whatever may fancy your interest, I’ll be sure to take you there,” he replied with a grin.

September 28, 1840

Dearest Mother,

William departed for Baltimore on Saturday. I am no longer to accompany him, instead staying behind in New York. I hope you will not be too upset to learn that I am not returning home.

Last Wednesday, my cousin, Owen, and I took a stroll down the streets of New York. He was once again ensuring my entertainment, since William mainly spent his time at the Society of Dental Surgeons, or wherever else he fancied. Owen and I discussed our plans for the future, his being to continue working on the newspaper here in New York.

I discovered that I had no ambition or plans for the future. Having learned the craft from you, I have a seamstress’s life ahead of me. But, oh Mother, how my cup came to be filled when we returned to the Kincade home. Owen asked me to stay and marry him.

We were joined in matrimony on the twenty-fifth; we wished to have at least one of my family at the ceremony as well, therefore we were swift to marry whilst William was here.

I apologize at having gotten married so soon, without either your or Father’s permission. It was just that neither Owen nor I could wait to be wed.

I do miss you, Mother, but the future suddenly sparkles with opportunity for me.

Your loving daughter,

Hope Kincade

Mid-April 1841

Tearfully, Flower pulled Randolph into a hug.

“I wish all of you wouldn’t leave me to myself here; first, William and Hope, and now you, too,” she cried. “Why do you have to go so far away?”

“Ma,” he laughed, “California is a land of opportunity right now. I am a big boy; I think I can handle this treacherous journey. Recall the adventures of Uncle Chadwick, his travels—”

“That is exactly what I have been thinking of every night recently,” she interrupted. “I am so frightened...what will happen to you; you, out there on your own?”

“Well, do not fear too much, Ma. I’m joining Frank and his family; they will take good care of me, and make sure that I don’t die out there.” He grinned, untangling himself from his mother’s grasp. “Nothing will happen to me, Ma. A couple of years from now, you’ll receive a letter from me, and who knows, maybe I’ll have struck it rich over there.”

“Do you have to leave for Missouri today?” she asked, wishing for just one more day with her son.

“Ma...”

Randolph’s Journal

May 1841

The journey has started well, and I find myself in good company. Frank Hudson and his wife are very brave to take on this journey, considering that their little girl, May Augusta, is now only two. She is a true sweetheart, and I have come to love her a great deal. Her mother, Roberta, is currently with child, and I fear for her and her unborn baby’s health, yet she is determined to see this journey through.

Frank has not changed much since our childhood years. He is still fun, rowdy, and adventurous. It feels like we never lost contact at all; just always have been friends.

June 1841

This journey has proved to be more trying than I first thought it to be...I have been going over my reasons for coming along in the first place. But life won’t always be easy. Some struggles will come along, and I have to learn and face these hardships.

Once we reach California, I think that I will learn a trade, instead of continuing life with the Hudson’s. I do adore little May, and she seems to see me as some hero, wanting to stick to my side every single day. I can’t always be glued to another family; I have to make my own way.

July 1841

Though the road has had its struggles and difficulties, it has not been filled with as much loss. Then, a few days ago, a tribe of Indians attacked the wagons. Frank was badly wounded in this skirmish; he didn’t survive the night. I had to bury my childhood friend, console his widow, and carry his weak child back to the wagon.

The shine of this adventure has worn off. I miss home and Ma. But I am needed here. I refuse to fall back and return, though I probably have opportunity to turn around.

Little May has fallen very sick. Roberta has also been unwell. I don’t know what plagues them, but I’m afraid that I’ll lose them as well...

August 9, 1841

Roselyn lay in the dark of the steamer’s cabin, with Lily in her arms. She could not wait to reach their destination, and to have her thoughts focused on something other than the ever-growing hate, at least for a few weeks. Once she returned, though, she fully intended to continue with her plans; plans that she had put on hold, for the sake of Lily’s recent ill health.

Once they returned...she would make Jackson pay for all the hurt and pain that he had sown. She would make him hate every day of his life, but he’d never have the pleasure of rectifying his mistakes, as he’d drop dead after having endured enough pain; she would make sure of it.

A great boom suddenly resounded through the air, the steamer shivering violently. Roselyn and Lily shot up, listening to the screams that filled the air. Fear seeped into Roselyn’s heart, as she scooted herself and Lily off of the bed and they rushed out of the cabin.

The crackling of a rapidly burning fire met their ears; a fire that would not spare anything it came across. A sob spilled over Lily’s lips, as the young girl immediately seemed to sense their future.

“We have to get to the deck” were the last words that Lily ever heard from her mother’s lips, the rest of what spilled over being smothered by screams of pain and agony, as the flames claimed so many of the souls onboard.

August 10, 1841

Chadwick,

Having taken your advice to focus Rosie’s attention on something other than her hatred of Jackson, Tyler and I persuaded her to take a trip away from her duties, responsibilities, and thoughts.

A medical colleague and friend of Rosie’s informed her, a few months ago, of a medical college that was instituted in Chicago, back in 1837. This caught her attention, so Tyler and I offered to help pay her way in order for her to visit this college. She seemed excited to visit the college and learn more about the methods and subjects taught there.

The steamer that was to take her and Lily to Chicago went up in flames yesterday. Most of the people on board were burned to death; Rosie and Lily also perished.

I feel so lost, knowing that both are gone for good. I feel so guilty, knowing that it was Tyler and I who were adamant about her leaving. Oh, if only we had thought of some other place for her to visit...

I wish you could come and visit, brother. Your latest letters have proved to me that you are not well; maybe you should come join us in New York for a few weeks.

Diana

September 10, 1841

Mother,

Finally, I can share some joyous news with you again. I will attempt to keep this letter short, only covering the most important points.

On August thirty-first, the day drawing to midnight, Samuel Tyler Kincade was born. What was quite startling and worrying for both Owen and myself was that after he was born, I remained in labor for a few more hours. I experienced great pain and feared the worst.

On the brink of September the first, still very early in the morning, a little girl joined her brother in this world. She is much more petite in size than Samuel; she also seems slightly weaker.

Though we all feared for her life, she has pulled through and proved to be quite strong. I praise God for such grace, and Mother Di for standing by my side through the worry and uncertainty regarding little Maria Veronica’s life.

I wish you could visit us, Mother, but I am happy to hear that business has been so well and has kept you occupied plenty during this time.

Much love,

Hope

Randolph’s Journal

September 1841

We have abandoned wagons and possessions. What else can I add to that? I am starting to feel a loss of the right words to pen my thoughts...

Roberta gave birth to a little girl; I think it was sometime during the first days of September. It was before we abandoned the wagons. Little Frannie Hudson is weak and fragile. As I write this, she is faintly whimpering in Roberta’s arms. My heart goes out to this strong woman who is bravely clinging onto her daughter, praying for her future, but accepting that which will most likely happen.

October 1841

Today, we crossed some river, the name of which I care not to recall. The end of our journey—it is approaching. I believe this, still clinging to my last bit of faith. Just as I believe that Roberta, Frannie, and May will live to build a new life for themselves in California. I am considering taking them in and caring for them. I feel as if I owe Frank that, as if he can’t rest in peace when his wife and children are left to care for themselves...

December 1841

Roberta and the girls are still with me, all three of them fighting to stay alive. I have made my offer to Roberta; she is considering it. In the meantime, we are heading toward Fort Sutter, where we hope to be better treated than we were at Marsh’s rancho...

Late February 1842

Chadwick stifled a coughing fit, aware that his sister’s ears wouldn’t fail her if he were to make even a squeak. Diana’s attention seemed to be wholly focused on young Oliver, and yet, her eyes darting back to Chadwick proved that she was still well aware of his presence.

Noticing a commotion ahead of them, his sister and son rushed toward the crowd, forcing him to quicken his heavy pace. Upon seeing a man caught amongst his adoring fans, Chadwick raised his voice, in order to be heard by his sister.

“Who is that man?”

“His name is Charles Dickens; he is visiting from England,” she yelled back. “Our newspaper interviewed him a few days ago. He seems like a decent fellow.”

After observing the crowds for a little while longer, the three finally decided to head back toward Diana and Tyler’s apartment. Oliver’s face glowed as he walked in silent contemplation.

“One day, I’m also going to write stories,” he finally piped up. “I’ll be printed in the paper, like Poe. I’ll be loved by many readers, like Dickens. I’ll be famous.” His eyes burned with passion, as his mind sped toward the future, leaving his father and aunt to themselves.

Randolph’s Journal - March 1842

Roberta and I have married. The little girls are healthy and growing stronger day by day. Captain Sutter has provided me the opportunity to become a tanner in this area. I have come to learn about the trade and find it to be an intriguing career for the future.

April 15, 1842

Flower,

There is no easy way to say this, therefore I will be brief. As you are aware, Chadwick and Oliver came to visit us late in February. It was Chadwick’s wish to stay until mid-March, before returning back home to Texas.

Shortly before the date of their departure, Chadwick collapsed one evening. He was in poor health and very weak for a few weeks. Diana tended and cared for him as well as she could, but he passed away on the seventh of this month.

Diana has been inconsolable. I fear for her own health and wellbeing after this tragic loss...

Tyler Wilson

Written By: GLD