I feel you on my skin, I want every inch of you.

Your lips are on my neck, you know what that does to me.

My mind is on a different galaxy.

Gripping my hips, make me yours, I’ll do anything.

Whisper in my ear “make my dreams come true“, darling, of course for you, for you are my king.

I’ve never felt so exposed, normally the covers would be hiding my skin, but lying there in my red lacy bra I’ve never felt so comfortable.

No one has ever looked at me like that,

Please don’t stop doing that. I want you in every way.

I am a lioness and you are my prey, everything I’m doing right now, I know your going to stay.

The deed is done, lying on our backs my head on your chest your fingers tangled in my hair.

I love you honey, and I will always be there but I feel you most when we’re stripped bare.

'What the hell is wrong with me?'

The same question I ask myself every hour of everyday, even at 3am when i'm still lying awake. 

'Why can't I just be happy? Why is that so difficult?' 

I feel numb.

I eat loads, numb

I eat nothing, numb 

I watch crappy films, numb 

I listen to music, numb

I mess around with guys to feel some sort of passion? Love? Even hurt? Numb.

I watch red velvet blood come from my own veins, and what? Nothing.. 

n u m b. 

I liked it better when I was happy, when was that again? Although it's merely been weeks I can't seem to remember, all I know is nothingness.

'What the hell is wrong with me?' 

I'm a mess. I am nothing. Nothing but another human, made of self hate and confusion. 

I beg of this world, to give me something, I just want to feel again, I just want to be normal, I want to feel. 

Please,

Please,

I don't want to ask this question anymore.

Your hands around my neck, i'm gasping for air. 

As you are laughing, blissfully, fully aware. 

How not only your hands, but your words and your laugh are killing me.

Slowly your grip gets tighter, you grit your teeth and look me dead in the eyes, you whisper ''not long now''.

I feel myself getting limp, in the cracked mirror behind you I see a glimpse of my face, purple, my eyes, bloodshot, almost popping out my skull. 

Your grin gets wider, it only amuses you more the weaker I get. 

I've lost all feeling in my body, I see a light and I think of the day I first met you, you were so innocent, loving, made out like you wouldn't hurt a soul. If only I knew. 

I should have listened to them all, everyone who said that in you, there's something evil. 

Only now do I see that, yet as the light flickers and starts to go out, my last thought, it's still you, were standing on that bridge, where we had our first kiss, 

So gentle,

So beautiful,

Your still beautiful now, but not the boy I once knew. 

Yet my love for you will still shine on through.. even when I get to heaven, i'll still be picking flowers for you.