How are you?

How have you been?

I’m good.

I’m fine.

I’m doing great.

Don’t open the attic door,

Keep the darkness contained.

Don’t let the dust spill out,

Keep the dirt contained.

How are you?

How have you been?

I’m good.

I’m fine.

I’m doing great.

To tell you the truth... we all lie.

#poetry #prosepoem

No one understands my mind,

So I isolate.

Go through the motions,

Get the necessities done.

Eat lunch alone,

Sit in lectures alone.

I crave comfort and connection,

But only if they understand.

Tired of pretending life is beautiful,

When all I see is darkness.

A smile can only remain on my shell for so long.

Do I come out of isolation to make you feel better?

Pretending is exhausting.

Is hiding the truth considered lying?

The ones I have told pretend it never happened.

Pretend I never lost or loved.

Pretend I am not in deep despair.

Or they don’t know.

I don’t tell them,

But I hoped she would know.

I hint at my true feelings,

But she could never understand.

I don’t want your tears.

I don’t want your sympathy.

I want understanding,

But where do I find it?

Who do I find it in?

I isolate myself from everyone.

My bed is my cocoon.

I leave my safe haven for him,

The one I have lost.

He used to isolate every day,

Even from me.

Now I follow in his footsteps.

It makes sense,

We handle pain in the same way.

Blood is thicker than water.

Blood was not thicker than beer.

Or cigarettes.

Permanently alone in my mind,

No matter where my body is located.

Permanently isolated due to the trauma,

No one will ever understand.

#nonfiction #poetry #challengeoftheweek #prosepoem #loss

I was once walking,

Calm as a still summer night with chirping crickets

Content as a purring cat curled up beside a fireplace

Innocent as a baby bird before ever taking flight

Radiant as the moon adding light to a dark world

Now I am running,

Unclear of a direction

Frightened to look behind

Yet petrified to look ahead

Maybe if I close my eyes, the ground will stand still

If I could only catch my breath for an instant

Ever since the snow, I quickened my pace

Suffocating with a smile plastered on my face

Heart pounding even when fast asleep

Dizzy and sweating,

Yet my toes are ice cold

Running from the past because the memories are too vivid

Just a reminder of what I have lost

I miss the simple days,

The days of playgrounds and sprinklers and ice cream trucks

The nights of movies and sleepovers and star gazing

I miss his voice and his hugs and his humour

Memories that can never be recreated because he is gone

Why remember the time when smiles were more common than cries?

So I forgot for the moment

I wonder if I will ever remember again

If I will ever want to remember

Running through life,

Letting moments of happiness and achievement pass me by

My eyes dart from place to place

I twist the ring on my finger as my mind spins

Focus lost, only confusion remains

How will I live without him by my side?

Running ahead and never turning my head

I will need a break from it all soon

Trying to slow down,

Learning to catch my breath and feel in control again

Hoping for a future filled with unwavered joy

Even without him, I pray for my success

I see him but he’s too far to reach

Patience will guide me through the years,

and comfort me through the days

But

I will

Get

To

Him

Faster

By

Ru n n i n g