Screaming in frustration, 

Crying into space... 

Wishing that the clock would stop. 

Staring at a blank page, 

Don't see an end to this pain, 

The sun may shine again, 

The world will carry on, 

But the work will only pile up, 

Until I'm buried alive beneath the weight I can't shift. 

Forever he walks next to a monster. Why is the noble man loyal to a noble beast? Villagers whisper behind their backs, wondering how someone so honest; so full of light and light can love a heartless savage who haunts their dreams. Kills and tortures without mercy. Rips out the hearts of innocents and taking pleasure from their fear. Then he dances with their daughters as if he was a gentleman rather than the vicious demon that hides underneath. Yet still, the dark haired lord stays loyal to the devil; never questions him, nor does he falter in his devotion.

The truth. Why does  man of honour care so much for the man of rage?  A tyrant who takes he wants without thought to the victims he leaves in his wake. Surely, there must be a reason...and there is. With a kind warmth in his eyes, the hazel eyed protector looks to the left at his younger brother. The one they hate so much. His name spoken throughout the world, a legend; a story to scare kids. Yet he sees no anger, no hate, nor a beast. Just a little, light haired boy with beautiful blue eyes and an innocent smile. Remembers the fear in that little boys eyes when his father struck him (he should have struck his father down the moment he layer a hand on his little brother). The bastards son. 

All his life he had been called an abomination by the man who should not have cared who's blood he carried, so how would he know that he could be anything else but a monster. For every tine he picked up a paintbrush; every time he drew an image of beauty, he would find only pain (art is for maidens, not men!) His little brother, the living boy he failed.  He remembers the terror in eyes as blue as oceans as he screamed in chains. Moonlight illuminating his body as every bone broke and changed into a form that was both deadly and beautiful. A lone wolf...

His father had hunted his brother for how he was born. A curse he bore for his ignorant mother's mistake. And though he could not take away the pain of his family, one thing he could do was stay by his side as they ran and ran and ran. Until tales of the monster and the nobleman reached every village in every city. As they burn down the small house, they never see a noble vampire save a lonely wolf from the hate and fear of those who do not understand. And they will alone walk the earth together until they breathe no more for the vampire will always fin the good in his beastly brother as his brother finds in him. 

For one remembers a boy stuck down cruelly by his father and too quickly,  the boy became a man. Every dagger stabbed in his back created a void in his heart.  Would no one love him? He knew the answer as he glanced at his noble brother beside him. One always had, even as others left, one always stayed! 

*Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain* Stories of a stranger unchanged and *I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined.* Why don't they see. This ghost is not me. *I was broke down, I had hit the ground* and the pieces were forever changed. Never will they form again. 

(*Did you lose what won't return?*) 

*I was crying out, couldn't make no sound,* while they laughed and watched me burn. *Run through the flames, that's more passion for me; let them see that even as they *beat down on me, beat down like a waterfall,**I can take on so much more than I had ever dreamed.* But strength will never heal what's already broken. Only love can heal the hate that shattered me. *I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days.* It seems, no one loves the hero that was broken so they would never break. The unbroken can never love the shield that kept them whole. But even as I know the truth, I still fall for the cruel facade. Falling every time but arms will never catch me. (*Did you love but never learn?*)

*Written on these walls are the colors that I can't change.* Eyes a sorrowful blue; nails as red as blood; Hair a dull brown; clothes black as mourning and black as the night. *I am a freedom fighter, the name that history wrote. An even through disaster, eye of the tiger for hope.* I will keep on fighting; keep on trying until there's nothing left. Even as I scream inside; even as I smile,

*no one hears the silent tears collecting*

(*The fire's out but still it burns*) 

*You know I had lost hope, I was all alone* but *I'm just beginning,* and now,*the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned. *

The lyrics are from:

Story of my life -One Direction

Unwritten -Natasha Bedingfield 

Invincible -Kelly Clarkson

Flares -The Script

It's on again -Alicia Keys

Why is it wrong to want love? 

To wake up with a smile, 

A warm hug. 

Why is it weak to give up a part of yourself? 

To be brighter with someone else. 

Slowly, time lost it's meaning. Reliving the same story over and over again. Everyone dreams of immortality. Gifted with an eternity to live (more like as infinite cycle of living and dying; living and dying). She dreams of dying...  

Even chocolate, something so sweet, delicious and heavenly just tastes like dirt. Maybe once it used to taste warm like the air in Summer but her cursed existence only let one thing give her life. Blood. Dripping crimson from her lips,  a stark contrast against her deathly pale skin. Its syrupy taste a bitter reminder of what she would never again have...  

Find a town, find a job, pretend to be normal, move on when people started questioning and repeat. Watch others overlook the luxuries she could never again enjoy because it was all gone. No happiness left in life; nothing more for her to hold onto. The memories of everything  she used to love remain only as ghostly echoes, taunting her over and over and over again. Never truly seeing but never forgetting. Sometimes she wishes could remember; other times she wishes she could permanently forget, move on... 

Now, she just wants to sleep. Wants to see the sun for a final time. Would she feel warmth for the first time in centuries? She looked forward to the pain, her first true feeling for a long time. Finally, her cycle would end and she could stop watching the endless cycle of life and death. You never realise how insignificant human lives are until you are tortured with seeing them begin and end over and over again but nothing changes! The world moves on! And the world won't even notice that the next time the sun rises, she too will disappear into the wind.  Finally finding relief in saying goodbye to the darkness... 

Prologue

The flame mark on my right wrist blazes as bright as a small star with crimson flames flickering up, reaching as high as my elbow. The inferno glows as my power stands beneath my skin, lingering under the surface; waiting to be free. Fear and excitement simultaneously dance around us as the once glorious wall of fire that protected Valacirca fades more and more; light and heat dissolving into dust. Endless energy being reduced to ash. Lifeless grey falls to the ground for a moment before being swept up; carried away by the wind. An unfamiliar chill settles around us, unwelcome in the land of fire; the crimson world.

My brother and sister stand beside me, their wrists lit up with similar power and a matching determination in our eyes as we prepare to defend our home. We stand together, the heirs of Valacirca and its people; its soldiers. Ready to fight the Army of dark souls that had once been trapped in the darkest depths of Eridanus. Ready for war, a concept that is unfamiliar to most in this peaceful world; we've all trained and fought in the training grounds but few of us have ever experienced real war. The last war -the war of the worlds- happened over 10,000 long years ago and peace has been regained since. Valacirca, Soronume, Hydrus, Orion and Eridanus are in glorious harmony and the Gods no longer fight. Instead, they have retired to Eridanus -the land of souls- to watch over all the people who have died heroes for their worlds. I myself have seen only small battles as well as the rare challenge to my title. However, those do not compare to the war that has already begun. To the blood and chaos that fate has cruelly promised.

We all believed that the gateways would protect us; that they would always remain closed to those wished harm on our worlds but we were foolish and naive. Even the strongest walls won't hold up against an army. Wrongly, we assumed the desolate, frozen land outside could sustain no one but the dead need no food or drink and feel no cold. So now here we stand, waiting for the war outside our walls to break them down with only the guardian of the gateway left as our last defense before they breach our shields.

I imagine what we all look like to the demons and phoenixes flying above us. White, yellow, amber and crimson; an army of fire with our wings spread out like shields behind us and eyes bright with power. Like a warning sign; a dangerous work of art.

Finally, I see the last of the flames disappear. Whispers rise and I draw my sword, hearing the harsh scraping of metal as others around me do the same. Slowly, the flaming strength that surrounds my right wrist embraces the silver sword, enveloping my weapon in the same scarlet fire. Violent screams destroy the quiet and I silently pray for the loss of our beloved guardian. May you rise from the ashes and let your light burn once more in Eridanus, Lexia.

In the last moments before the violent clash of swords and tragic cries of suffering, I pray to Apollo and Brigit. Please, let this battle end in light. With little death and little pain to those who remain faithful to you, our Gods. At the end, let Valacirca's flames ignite again. With that last thought, I shout the warning as I feel the taint of foreign power, dark and cold on our warm soil.

"Get ready! They arrive!"

Laughter. It was what I most remember. We were both children. Playing in the sandbox, laughing when we'd throw snowballs of  sand at one another. I remember birthdays. Times where we would both sit outside the apartment porch and enjoy a slice of cake together while the rest of the children played hide and seek.

When we grew older you would lead me outside to the roof and we would just lay there. Under the twinkling night sky that would glisten and light up our dreams. Dreams about a future where you and I were happy. It was picture perfect. You did not know it back then but I loved you. Did you love me?

I think about crazy summers and our first kiss as we snuck out into the night sky, playing another game of hide and seek with our friends; even if we were too old to play now. You took my hand smiling charmingly leading me with you as we ran. Feeling free and as if the world was ours. And just like that. With only the stars to watch us we kissed. I thought you were happy with me at your side. Where you?...

I think about those times when you would sit quietly beside me and look out into the sky without a word. There was a look in your eyes that squeezed my heart so hard it felt like an old prune. When my hands reached to touch your face you would smile.

I'd missed the signs. I'd missed the signs of you pulling away from me. Pulling away from us; pulling away from life. I could give excuses of work, too much going on, not enough time or care to pay attention. I can't blame you. I know I can't blame myself and yet; as you lay in this hospital bed all I can do is weep at your side.

I can't find the will to leave you and it hurts knowing you would think leaving me was the answer. I don't understand why you wanted to leave this world. But I want you to stay. Leaving me to find your body after an overdose on sleeping pills ;that I did not know you had, it was like a part of me was taken with you in that moment.

I don't know if you'll make it. I don't know if I'll be able to help you. But I will stick by you because I love you. And I will always stand by your side. Love is about taking in the good and the bad. 

"Please. Stay."

I am the sun,

A single star,

A spec of dust in a colossal universe,

Small against the crimson giants.

So often my light is covered up,

Hidden by the clouds of fear,

Silenced by the cold darkness,

Or the world just turns away.

I am loved and I love many,

But they rarely get too close,

For no one wants to burn and fall,

So in the darkness I am alone,

Yet in the darkness I am bright,

I learnt to shine on my own,

Even as it sets my heart on fire,

Burning through my soul,

As every ray comes at a price.

I am what to always see at day,

But never look directly at,

I am what you forget at night,

But  miss when it cold,

When you're afraid of the dark,

When you need hope,

And even when I lose my light,

In the morning I will rise.