Shivering

Quivering

Body withering

You’re snickering

I’m considering

Light flickering

Now reconsidering

Re positioning

No longer listening

No one’s listening

Words and images

Unsure what touches

No telling what blushes

When discussions.

Cause necessary repercussions

What crutches?

Sensory censoring

Who’s the one doing the

Measuring?

When something’s not

Worth censuring.

Words, words, words

Do they become verbs?

Stillness disturbed

When action occurs.

Backward, forward, then re-turns.

No lesson or no exercise

I’ve never learned mine

Letters exit my mind

Leave my “Friendly Confines”,

“Cubbies”

Took the keys

Felt the breeze

Release

With ease

Appease?

Please.

This rhyme scheme?

A dream

Lay with you

My fingers tracing

Holding you

With our hearts racing

One but it’s two

Hearts a blazing

My body in you

Bodies a coiled beauty

Continuing in you

Need you, absolutely.

Monday mornings

sometimes seem boring

and monotonous

same ole same ole feeling,

homogeneous.

Just want a sense of purpose

and meaning

more than just writing and

no one reading.

Sit here wondering if these

are worth keeping.

The never ending silence

Prying open my eyelids

Searching for what a smile is

When inside screaming in violence

Just want to feel something

Other than despair

Sometimes it's kept deep inside

And don’t want to share

Then I do but there’s

Nothing inside left to spare

But all I do is contemplate

Who? What? And where?

Am I part of the game?

Or am I just a player?

Barely making it

Through the day

Somehow I find

A way.

At times I feel like

I’m at my brink

But then I take a

Step back and think.

I need to try and

Implore my voice

Because at the end

Of the day it’s my choice.

Solitary

Destined

To be

Me and me.

What do

I mean?

In the end

You see,

It’s just me.

No one to

Reach for

No one to

Tell more.

I reach

But no one

Reaches back.

I give more

But none back.

Cries in the

Shower

I do this

For an hour

Screaming

For help

But no one

There to tell.

I Fall to the

Shower floor

As the water

Continues

to pour.

Holding my

Face

As I stay

In place.

I stand up

Take a deep

Breath

Turn of the water

Dry off the wet.

Change lay on the bed

Alone.

On my own.

Heart hurts and I don’t know why

My life’s just scrolling by

And I can never catch up

Just look up and say fck.

Why hasn’t my heart learned more?

That it’s not meant to feel anymore.

All I feel is a crushing sense of pain.

There’s gotta be another way.

Perhaps just throw it away.

Search for peace

Only to find pieces

Search for healing

Only to find no meaning

Search for clarity

Only to find disparity

I continue to search

Try to find some worth

My life merely an excerpt

Seek for a purpose

Don’t know how to word this

Do I deserve this?