Chapter 3 is out everyone.

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The hallway was damn silent as I tried to find my way to the administration office. I passed a few classes on the way and saw how they're so focused to the teacher in front. Shit, I'm getting so nervous. Then I heard people talking, coincidentally it was inside the administration office. I knocked softly and open the door slowly hoping I wasn't interrupting anything.

I saw the back of a guy, who wasn't that much taller than me but he has a seriously buff body which made him look obviously shorter than other average height guys.

He was trying to negotiate something with the clerk I think, who looked like she was around her 40s.

"Give me some slack Miss Fen. I've only been absent a couple of times. No big deal." The guy said nonchalantly.

"Your couple of times Mr. Jackson is exactly 15 days in just this month." The lady said barely containing her irritation to this rude guy.

I went closer to the counter. When she spotted me, her expression soften.

"What can I help you with dear?" She addressed me and ignored the guy. I glance at the guy beside me, he was hanging his head down probably frustrated with the talk just now.

"I uh, I'm the new transfer student," I said, giving her a small smile. I felt the guy stare at me when he heard I was the new transfer student. But I focused my attention to the nice lady in front of me.

"Oh, so you must be Miss Cole then. Welcome to Ruvoun High." She gave me a smile and started handing me some papers. "Here is your schedule and a list of the references required for the subjects you're taking." I took the papers and nodded. "Have you seen the school ground yet?" She asked to which I answered no.

Then Miss Fen faced the guy and gave him an angry glare. "Mr. Jackson, you will show Miss Cole around the school and after school ends, you will have 4 hours of detention." The guy groaned. "Go before I add the hours to your detention." She threatens.

So now, I was put in an awkward position, standing in front of the administration office with this buff guy. I wasn't sure what I should do next, so I waited.

He was ruffling his own hair before he remembered I was there. "Uh, sorry about that. The name is Mike."

He stood facing me giving me a killer smile and I finally got a clearer look at him. As I mention before, his buff body made him look short but he was still taller than me. If I'm 5 ft 5 in, then he's around 5 ft 6 in or 5 ft 7 in. He is sort of good looking, with that goofy smile on his face, and that messy brown hair with his angular jawline. But I wasn't impressed with his attitude earlier.

"I'm Ellie. You don't need to show me around. I can explore on my own." I said and walked away from him. He muttered something under his breath but I can't make out what he said. So I ignored it.

I was withdrawn from everyone for the rest of the day, so I didn't manage to make other new acquaintance. I did meet with Mike again in a few of my classes but I pretend like I didn't know him and he did the same.

It was a peaceful day. I didn't bother anyone and no one bothered me. That's what I thought until I heard a few of the girls talking about me in the toilet.

"Did you know, I heard the new girl is such a slut. I heard she tried to make a pass with Mike." Girl number 1 said.

The hell! I thought to myself. They're talking about me. Girl number 2 said "She did? That bitch. She's so fucking plain no one would give her a second look. Maybe that's why she's so desperate." They laughed.

I was listening to every single word they were saying and I didn't really care until...

"I heard the reason she moved was because her mother was murdered." Whichever girl said that made me froze. Then they continue in a more whispered tone. "They said, her father was the murderer." The moment she finished saying that I snapped.

I slammed the toilet door open making both of them scream in surprise.

"Shit! What--" she didn't finish her sentence when she realized it was me. The new girl. They went pale but didn't say anything, they didn't leave either. They waited, waiting to see what I would do. I walked casually to the sink turning on the tap water while looking at the mirror checking my reflection.

I washed my hands and said, "From all the things I heard you two were saying, only one thing was true." I pretend to fix my hair. "My mother was murdered, but it wasn't my dad who killed her." I said and faced them. They were looking at me hanging on to my every word. Girls like them who enjoy nothing more than gossips makes me feel disgusted.

"It was me of course." I gave them a sinister smile. "The police never even considered that I could kill me own mother." I checked myself in the mirror again and chuckle. "Well, did I proved them wrong." I looked at them, they probably thought I was some psychopathic lunatic with that expression on their face. "Do you want to be next?" I took a step towards them and that's when they both ran.

I don't know whether I should be laughing or angry. Did they actually believe that? If they did, they'd be the stupidest people alive.

I sigh, it seems that the news about my mother's murder has spread to the school. I walked out from the toilet and made my way to my locker. I guess the girls did their role in society splendidly. Everyone was staring at me and whispering behind my back after I passed by them. Not to my surprise, there is a graffiti on my locker door spelled murderer.

Seriously, if I was a real murderer that two idiots would surely get themselves killed. It's obvious they were the ones who told everybody.

I made my way to the gates and saw one of the girls in the toilet. I came up behind her and as soon as she saw me she staggered a bit. "Make sure you locked up your doors and window tonight." I gave her a knowing smile. "Wouldnt want a late night visit do we," I said to her. She paled, and I left her standing there.

I know it was wrong but it felt good at the moment. I waited for my dad until he came and picked me up. In the car, we exchange stories about our first day. I told him, that I made a new friend named Mike and that he showed me around the school. My dad seemed happy that I made a new friend. He told me his day was hectic working at this new business hotel and that his new boss was a strict person. He continues telling me about his day until we reached our house.

When we reached, someone was waiting at the door of our house.

"ELLIE!!!" The person screamed my named and ran towards me and my dad. As the person got closer, I finally recognized her as my best friend when I was 15.

"Cassie! What are you doing here? I thought we were going to meet in a few days." I said as she gave me a big hug. I met her when I was 15 and she moved away when I was 16 before my mother died. We texted and skype occasionally just to asked each other how things were doing. I told her that I'm moving here and we promised to meet each other in a few days.

"I couldn't wait that long so I came and visit you instead. Look, I even brought you a fruit basket." She smiled showing me the basket she was holding. "Hi, Mr. Cole." She greeted my dad.

"Hello there Cassie, why don't you come inside." My dad said and all of us went inside the house.

"Oh my god, your house is huge." She commented. "I know right," I said to her. "Wow, Cassie," I said when I looked at her.

"Yeah?" She answered looking at me.

"You looked the same from the last time I saw you," I said while I scrutinize her face. "Don't be rude, I grew an inch okay." She said. I laughed at that since she was short to begin with. She's only 5ft tall. "I didn't mean your height silly. I meant your looks. You didn't look like you aged at all."

"Really? Well, I have been taking extra care of my skin." She said. "Maybe that's why I looked young. Unlike a certain someone."

"Hey! I heard that." We both laughed. "Are you staying for dinner?" I asked her. "No, sorry. I was just dropping by to see how you're doing." She said and excused herself saying goodbye to my dad before she leaves.

~ Greg's P.O.V ~

"Mike, what took you so long?" I asked Mike when he finally reached home. "Sorry dude, I got detention from the old lady for missing class so much." He sat down next to me on the couch while I flip from channel to channel looking for any show worth watching.

"There was a new transfer student today. The old lady ordered me to take her around the school. But that bitch rejected the offer and left me there feeling like an idiot." He said with an annoyed expression. "Maybe because you deserved it?" I gave my opinion.

"Hell no, how can she reject this baby is beyond me," Mike said kissing his biceps.

"Dude! That is so not cool." I said feeling like I should knock some sense into his narcissistic skull.

He shrugged. "I took care of it anyway. She'll have the most miserable senior year ever." He smirked.

"What did you do?" I asked simply to let him talked. I wasn't that interested in it.

"I spread some rumors to some of the hot chicks about how she tried to throw herself at me. It somehow ended up she being a murderer who killed her own mother."

"You could be such an asshole at times," I said to him.

"What did I do? I wasn't the one who called her a murderer." He defended himself.

"Forget about it, it's time. Gather the pack to the beach." I said to him. Mike got off the couch and kneel down to me. "Yes, Alpha."

By the time I reached the beach the whole pack was already there waiting for their Alpha. I looked up at the moon, it was almost full. Everyone was waiting for my signal, I can sense their impatience but no one dared defy an Alpha. I felt it before I saw it, the moon is full it's time to hunt.

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What do you guys think?

Hello Proser, I give you the next chapter. Hope you guys like it.

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It took us roughly 11 hours to reach Mississippi. I can feel all my muscles starting to ache from sitting down for too long.

We did stop once in a while for pit stops and the opportunity to stretch our muscles. It was still mentally and physically exhausting, though. It was almost dark when we reach our house. The sun an orange red was slowly setting down the horizon taking with it whatever few rays of light left, leaving the sky cold and gray.

Dad parked the car directly in front of the house. As I got out of the car, it was hard to not notice that the house was big. Too big for only the two of us to live in.

"This is our house?" I asked in disbelieve. "It's huge" I emphasized while making a gesture as if I was making a big circle, to make my point. "And it looks ancient." I continued.

"Whats wrong with it?" My dad asked while he took out the boxes from the trunk. "It's ancient in a good kind of way. It has that regal atmosphere to it."

I helped my dad carry out the lighter boxes into the house. The front door was made of a pure hard oak tree which was rarely used nowadays. The inside of the house to my surprise was not a disappointment. To put it simply, the place basically looked like a rundown mansion but it still looked awesome.

"How on earth did you manage to afford this place, dad!? This must cost you a fortune!" I exclaimed feeling excited to explore the rooms.

My dad laughed seeing my excited reaction. "The boss mention this house. He said I might get a good offer for this place because it has been a long time since anyone stayed here." He said and set down the last box from the car. "So no worries. It's nothing that I can't afford." I looked at him and frown. "How long exactly?"

"Hmm...." my dad wrinkle his eyebrows together. "I think he said it was vacant for over 30 years."

"What!?" My dad jumped at my reaction. "Dad, don't you think it's weird that nobody wanted this house for so long?" I placed my hands on my hips looking at him as if I was scolding a little child. "Someone must have been murdered in this house, or worst." I looked at him in horror. "This place could be haunted!"

Hearing that, my dad laughed out loud. I rarely heard him laugh like that since my mother passed away. He bent over clutching his stomach as if it was in pain. It actually looked like he was in pain from that much laughing. Well, serves him right for making fun of me. I frowned.

After a moment, he stood straight wiping a tear from his eyes. "Sweetie, I never pegged you for a person who believes in superstitious nonsense." He said and started ruining my hair. "Daaaaaaad. Stop that. Then what other explanation could it be?"

"Being further from town could be a reason. This place is secluded after all." He said and took out his phone. "Our nearest neighbor is 20 miles from here. Hello. Yes, I would--" Dad divert his attention to his phone and I started exploring upstairs. I found a room where the bed was position near the window and that when you lay down it gave you a full view of the sky. I decided that this room would be my room and started carrying my boxes inside.

I started to unpack everything and when I was almost done, dad came knocking on my door telling me to come down and have dinner. He ordered pizzas and we ate while talking about the house. After we finished eating I left my dad to his own devices and went to my room. Oh, and did I mention there's a bathroom in my room? Well, I do. It seemed like the person who builds this house was filthy rich. Most of the rooms have a bathroom of its own, the rooms are probably the guest room. But I wonder, why would any person need so many guest rooms for.

I went and took a shower since it's so late already. Surprisingly the bathroom doesn't look creepy or disgusting. In fact, it looked clean and new, dad probably sends someone to repair this place before we came here I thought to myself. After I finished showering, I lay on my bed feeling my muscles relax and I released a sigh. A few seconds later I was sleeping like a log. Trust me when I said that even if there's a massive earthquake wrecking havoc right now, it won't wake me. I'm that tired.

It felt like I was only sleeping for 5 minutes when someone was shaking me quite furiously.

"Ellie! Wake up! Wake up! El!"

I barely heard what was being said to me. I slowly tried lifting my head without opening my eyes then flop it back on the pillow again.

"You're going to be late for school!"

Schoooooool I thought dreamily, wait. I stop myself, did he said school?

"Ellie! If you don't wake up now you're going to be late for school! We're both going to be late! Wake up!"

He definitely said school.

My eyes open wide then I sat up straight, feeling wide awake. "Why didn't you tell me this yesterday? I asked rushing off of my bed to the shower.

"I forgot, now hurry up" Dad said. Ugh! Him and his forgetful memory I thought to myself feeling annoyed at him.

I freshen up and wore a casual t-shirt with a sweater which I matched with jeans and sneakers, all in 15 minutes my best record yet.

Before I went downstairs, I checked myself in the mirror. I'm a brunette with wavy shoulder length hair that matches with my brown eyes. I tied my hair and adjusted my sweater. Which resulted in me looking like a boyish girl. I sigh, even in a boyish attire I managed to look so damn plain.

I ran down the stairs and grab a plain bread on the kitchen table. Dad doesn't cook. Even if he wanted to, the food won't come out edible. Every single time, he'll burn it beyond recognition. After my mOm died I have no choice but to learn how to cook so both of us won't have to starve to death or be poison with my dad's cooking.

I climbed in the car and dad drove us to town which is 7 miles from here. When I reached the school compound, the bell rang indicating the first period was about to start. Dad let me down at the gate telling me to have a good day and to make new friends before rushing to his work. Easier said than done, I thought to myself. I turn facing the school, its called Ruvoun High. It's weird, I know. What moron would name this school with weird names like that?

I let out a big sighed before stepping into the battleground called high school.

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How is it? A penny for your thoughts?

Hello, try reading my story see if you like it.

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"Dad! You're forgetting your bag again!" I shouted at him from upstairs when I spotted his brief leather bag in his room on the bed. I made my way to the bed and grabbed the bag, it was heavier than it looked. I had to use both hands to carry it.

"What are you talking about? I have it right--" I smiled when I heard him curse. "Bring it down here will you?" He said, then I heard the sound of the car's engine starting up.

Before I closed the door, I took another glance at the room. It was once filled with the smell of my mom's perfume, her novels laying around the floor. She would always promise to organize it properly, but she never got around to do it. Instead, the number of novels would increase until there was barely any space to walk on the floor.

I swear, my parent's bedroom would bring the zoo to shame. Now, it just looks cold and unwelcome. I closed the door and made my way down the stairs. I took one last scan of every room before I was satisfied nothing was left behind.

I locked the front door and hurried along to the car opening the backseat door placed my dad's bag inside before shutting the door.

"How can you forget your bag? I thought it's filled with all your important files?" I said while I open the front seat door and took my seat beside my dad.

"Thanks, sweetie you just save both our lives." Dad said with a big smile on his face. The skin underneath his eyes crinkled showing his old age. "If I lost that, we'd be homeless no doubt."

"How would you survive without me?" I said while raising an eyebrow and smiled at him knowingly.

"I probably can't. Who's going to feed me if it's not you?" He winks at me causing me to laugh at that. "Alright, here we go." He put the car in gear, release the handbrake and drives to our new home.

I let down the car window and put my head out to look back at our house. The house I've been living in for 18 years, the house where all the memories with my mom rested, my memories of my childhood all will be left behind as we drove to Mississippi. I felt my heart grew heavier as our old house gradually become smaller as we drove further and further away from it.

I sigh and closed the window, facing forward to the roads without any idea of what awaits me.

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What do you think?

Who am I you ask? I'm Ellie Beatrice Cole and I'm 18.

We are not the only ones on earth. Remember the myth you were always told when you were a child? The story that was meant to scare you so you'll be a good boy?

Well it's real. I should know because I'm bonded to one for life.

And this here you are reading? It's the story of my life. I welcome you to my world.

*****

Ellie Beatrice Cole is 18 years old, unusually quiet and barely noticeable. However, all that changes when she moved. A different chapter in her life is about to unfold.

Greg Martin, tall, mysterious and heart throbingly handsome. Will this encounter change him yet again or will it harden his heart more than it already is.

"My home, of course."

"Why not mine?"

"If it's all the same to you, I would much rather have sex in my own bed."

"Ouch, you really know how to set a romantic mood, Liz."

Lizzy sighed. "Sorry, Collin," she said, glancing at the phone mounted on her car dashboard. She had called his number immediately after she left Lucy's place. "I'm not really in the best mood right now. This week was the worst."

"Work?"

"Yes. And some concerns with my sister."

She didn't know why she was talking to him about this. Their relationship wasn't exactly ... well, it wasn't a relationship at all.

"Look," Collin said, "seeing as it's pretty late--"

"Fine, forget I called." She moved to hit the end call button.

"No, don't hang up."

She stopped, and put her hand back on the steering wheel. "What?" She knew she sounded curt, but he'd already turned her down twice earlier this week. Her pride could only take so much rejection before she had to start getting defensive.

"I was going to say that seeing as it's late, maybe I could just come by tomorrow night and make you dinner."

"I guess ..."

"And after that, you may have your nasty way with me all night. In your own bed, of course."

"Fine. But you don't have to make me dinner."

"You have to eat, Liz."

"I can grab a bite on my way home."

"I refuse to kiss you and be stuck with the taste of cheap greasy pizza in my mouth. I'm coming over at six and I'm making Vietnamese noodles and that fish soup you like."

She smiled despite herself. "Okay. But let's make it seven p.m." Asher Darcy was going to be at the office tomorrow for a long editorial meeting, so she may not be able to leave work early.

"Seven p.m. Great, I'll see you then."

Lizzy sighed as she pulled up to her apartment. It was a shame Collin couldn't be convinced to come over tonight. Though she would be the last to admit it, she could really use a good lay right about now. Her former assistant and current fuck buddy was hardly stimulating company, but he was young and attractive -- he was a model after all -- and had the stamina befitting a man of twenty-two.

She sighed. I guess I'm reading a book tonight.

It wasn't fair. She was a young, fairly attractive woman. She had a career and her own apartment. This was L.A. It shouldn't be this hard for her to get laid.

Her cellphone rang as she was about to get out of the car. She took it off the car dock before answering.

"Hey Shar," she said, picking up her laptop and purse from the front passenger seat.

"I'm not disturbing you, am I?" Sharlene said.

Lizzy locked the car and started toward the elevators. "Oh, no. Just got home from dinner with Mom and my sister. What are you up to?"

"The usual. Netflix and — well, wine and popcorn. I thought you might be with Collin tonight."

"Nah, I thought I'd turn in early." The lie left a faint taste of bitterness as it rolled off her tongue. "We're meeting our brand new publisher tomorrow, after all."

"Right. I'm kind of nervous about that."

"He's not coming to fire us, Shar. He just wants us to get him up to speed with where we are and what we're doing." She got in the elevator and punched in her apartment floor number.

"I know. It's just that he's so hot. You know how I am around insanely handsome men."

Lizzy snorted. "I remember you once put your hand inside a punch bowl because you were reaching for a glass and while staring at — who was that, Jamie Dornan?"

"Yeah." Sharlene sighed. "I'd been fantasizing about him for weeks, and bam! He shows up at that Cosmo party."

"Are you over him yet? The man can't act."

"No, but who cares?"

"Do you realize that if you and Jamie were dating, you'd have to watch all his movies."

"If it means I get to take him home at night, then I accept that burden."

The elevator doors opened and Lizzy stepped out, turning right. "Yes, well, try not to lose your head over Darcy, okay? He's technically your boss. Also, the man is a notorious man whore."

"I know, right? I mean those rumors have to be exaggerated. He couldn't possibly have slept with every model at last year's Victoria's Secret fashion show. Not in one night."

"I hope so." Lizzy unlocked her front door and let herself inside. "If not, let's hope he's as willing to work just as hard at the office as he is screwing around."

After the bitter lies and betrayal caused by Sebastian’s unfaithfulness, Gracelynn takes off and leaves her life she’s built with him behind. After being disowned from her family who now live three thousand miles away, she has no money and nowhere to go. Gracelynn had to figure something out and figure it out quick.

Jump forward five years and the young, innocent and naïve girl she was is long gone. Replacing modest clothes for salacious lingerie; Racy was now a high profile New York stripper that only the wealthy could afford. It wasn’t easy going from living on the streets to her penthouse that was supplied by a private client. Her bad situation turned worse when she ran away from the hospital bruised and bleeding on the inside and out. From being attacked and grabbed In sketchy towns and hole in the wall clubs to nearly getting herself involved with a pimp; Gracelynn hardened her loving heart and let almost no one in; she couldn’t if she wanted to survive.

With her life finally in order, complete with a body guard; Racy had no plans to let anyone take the life she made for herself away from her. But just like any time anything is going good in her life, things go into a downward spiral when her old life catches up to her. Threatening to destroy everything she’s accomplished, she shuts down emotionally to cope and stay strong against the very things that destroyed her youth when she was eighteen years old.

Racy will be forced to confront the painful and traumatic past she spent five years building walls to shut out. The memories she spent fleeing threatened to consume her once more, but not without a fight. If anyone was expecting the sweet and innocent yet sarcastic Gracelynn she used to be, they were in for a tough awakening.

Living on the streets, taking her clothes off for money and having men attack and grab at her nightly changed her. The old Gracelynn, the one who let people push her around and desperately wanted to please everyone was gone; she was never coming back.

No words and no actions can make amends for what Sebastian did, for what his actions caused. Nothing could change how she now feels about the husband she once loved. She trusted him, he was unfaithful. She gave him everything and he took it, leaving her nothing left. 

All he wants after all this time is her back. All she wants after five years is a divorce. Time has changed them both and only time will tell who will be the one to get what they desire most.

They meet by chance; Paul was sitting on the railing of the bridge when Phoebe sees him, going out there for the same reason. 

Surviving the car crash that killed her parents when she was nine, her brother took her in and beat her as a daily punishment. 

Estranged from his family, it was his fault his baby sister was now dead. 

He's filled with doubt, she's at peace with her choice. 

Being blunt, she asks if he wants to jump together, she lived a lonely life and it would be nice if she didn't die alone; the thought makes him second guess his decision to come out to the bridge. 

He makes her an offer:First day of summer is in three days, they make a bucket list and spend the summer doing them and then they decide the first day of fall; not before then. He offers her a place to live when she refuses to live at home, she tells him that’s a recipe to be tortured in a basement, but he persuades her to do it anyway. 

They make a list of twenty-five things that they can actually accomplish, the last one being to commit suicide. 

He refuses to help her with number six; to have sex. 

She can't help him accomplish number twenty-four; to fall in love. 

With limits set, she moves in and together they make plans to cross of twenty-three of their items together; a last and dying hope that maybe one summer can change your life. 

Maybe all you need is two people on the verge of suicide and and an insane idea to give each other the will to live. 

Hell is this apartment without him. The home we shared is silent now, full of ghosts and memories, and me. Hell is his ball cap dangling off the banister post. Hell are his clothes hanging in the closet. Hell are his keys, tossed carelessly on the dresser. Hell is the beer in the fridge, his soap in the shower, a lone sock dropped in the corner by the bed. It's the echo of his voice bouncing off these empty walls.

Hell is our bed, too big and too cold without him. Hell is his scent still lingering on the pillows. It's waking up in the morning, reaching out to touch him, only to come up empty. Hell is the empty space behind me, where he used to snuggle close. It's the small part of my waist, where his arm would grow heavy in sleep. Hell is the spot on the back of my neck where his breath would graze. Hell is this loneliness, this empty void he left me with.

Hell is looking around and seeing him everywhere. Hell is that foolish hope that he could walk back in the door at any moment. Hell is me, living alone. Hell is sharing a home with his ghost. Hell is this limbo state I'm in. Unable to hold him, unable to let go.

•••••••••break•••••••••

The night is still and silent, but for the crickets chirping busily in the dark. It's almost summer, the clean desert air is warm on my bare arms. I hear footsteps moving purposefully up the driveway towards me. He steps into the light by my neighbors front door and my breath catches. Same blue eyes, same tousled blond hair, same California beach boy good looks. This one is a little taller, a little thicker....but in his eyes I see that same cocky twinkle possessed only by boys who know how good looking they are. He starts to speak, but I hold my finger up to my lips, nodding towards the neighbors silent doors. Shhhhh.....

He comes through the front door, I have my back to him as I close it. Shutting my eyes briefly, what am I doing? This isn't the man I want, this isn't the man I love. This is a substitute, a quick bandaid to cover my wounded heart. This isn't right.

But then the thought of another lonely night makes me want to die. The one I want isn't here. The one I want isn't lonely. I turn around and face this one. He's smiling at me, he speaks again. His voice is deeper, there's a hint of an accent there. Different. But he's not here for conversation, and I silence him by leaning forward and pressing my lips to his. It's a hello, a question. An unfamiliar taste, a mix of toothpaste and mystery.

My hands slide up his chest and over his shoulders. They're a bit broader, a bit wider. I snake my arms around his neck and his arms circle my waist, pulling me closer as his kiss deepens. His tongue in my mouth, I'm arching backwards as the kiss shifts from getting-to-know-you to getting-inside-you. I break away and see his crystal blue eyes have darkened with desire, just as his do.

I take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. Standing at the foot of the bed, I grab his face and bring him back in for a kiss. A bit of stubble, rough against my palm. Different. He had a beard, fuzzy and soft. I chase the thought of him out of my head as our tongues dance wildly. His kiss deepens and as I fall backwards onto the bed I can feel the power shift. I let it go, gladly. I'm living in this moment only. I will not think of the past, nor the future, nor of my broken heart. I will think only of this second, and the anticipation building in my body, and this hot body pressed against mine. I will submit to this moment of passion, I will relinquish my power to this man, for this moment, I will trust him to drive all the sadness out of me. He is on top of me, his mouth and hands are everywhere, my heartbeat is quickening at the sensations.

I grab his shirt and pull it over his head, sliding my hands down his rib cage and hip bones. Feeling the smooth ridges, his golden skin is hot beneath my fingers. He is up on his knees, I am kissing his neck, the short stubble rubbing my smooth skin with friction. I lower my head and bite, closing his collarbone gently between my teeth. Lower, lips and tongue teasing and flicking along his chest. Lower, nibbling the warm, taut skin of his abdomen.

He's pulling my dress, yanking it up and over, it's tossed on the floor and I smile at his quick intake of breath. I hate underwear. I lay on my belly in front of him, nuzzling, my tongue is tracing the ridges that delineate his abdomen. The glowing expanse of warm skin has only a light sprinkling of hair, trailing from his belly button and disappearing into his shorts. I lick my way around his stomach, mapping the firm, golden skin with my mouth. My hands are on his hipbones, my breath has quickened.

Taking in this unknown scent, inhaling deeply as my lips brush over firm skin, finding that V. A different V than the one I want, the one I love. But tonight, this one is here and my tastebuds are developing an appreciation for this unaccustomed flavor. Digging my fingers into fiery skin, feeling the goosebumps rise as my breath sends chills through him. He inhales sharply again as I bite down once more, harder this time. He jumps a bit, and I laugh with delight. This is familiar. This is indulgence and titillation and gratification. This is my validation.

Then his hands are tangling in my hair and he's pulling me up. I go slowly, trailing lips and tongue over abs and chest, nibbling on his collarbone, biting harder into the skin near his neck. My hands are gripping firm biceps, reveling the firmness and heat. His hands are roaming wildly, up and down my rib cage, kneading my bottom, over my breasts.

I'm reminded that I surrendered control as he pushes me backwards and this time it's his mouth blazing a trail over my breasts and down my belly. His lips are hot and my heart is racing. His breath coming quickly sends jolts at each exhalation. I jump a bit when his mouth moves over that spot on my ribs that I like so much. He notices and as his hands grip my hips holding me in place, his mouth burns hot against my skin. I'm wriggling beneath him, losing myself in the diversion he brings.

There's a fire building deep in me; wantonly, with abandon, I'm going to let this stranger put it out. For the first time in weeks, I'm feeling something other than despair. It may be wrong but at this moment I don't want to be right. For the first time since he left me, I feel alive.

My hands grip his hair, it's shorter, but soft. There is excitement churning deep in me as his stubbled cheeks and chin rub against the smooth skin of my belly and thighs. He slides off the bed suddenly, he's on his knees on the floor. He grabs my thighs and yanks me down lower, then his face is buried in me and I'm absolutely lost to the thrill of this strange tongue toying with my center. Abruptly, he stops, pulling me up, and the next thing I know I'm on hands and knees on the bed, and then his mouth is back on me, and his tongue is lapping at me and this is different and this is foreign and this is really fucking good.

That bubble of excitement is blossoming, growing larger and more urgent with the ministrations of his mouth. His hands join in, and as his finger enters me, I grab a pillow and bite down. I'm going to explode at any moment. The stubble on his cheeks is going to leave whisker burn tomorrow, but for now....right now...it's driving me closer to the edge and it's thrilling and lascivious. One hand rears back and lands with a loud smack on my ass cheek and that's when I lose it, I'm tumbling over the edge, muffling my cries into the pillow as swells of pleasure wash over my body, leaving me trembling.

He stands up holding my hips still, then I hear the sounds of a wrapper opening as he lets go. A moment later, he's gripping my hips firmly again and then with a forceful thrust he's all the way inside, opening me up in one long stroke. I cry out, that gratifying mix of pleasure and pain, that is exactly how I like it. He begins moving, slowly at first, driving deep. I am pushing my body backwards into him, feeling that tension building again.

Without warning, I'm arched backwards as he grabs my hair and pulls me up. One arm encircles my waist while the other remains entwined in my long hair, bringing me upright until I'm standing on my knees, with him still buried inside me. "I'm in charge here," he says, breath hot against my neck. "Got it?" I nod breathlessly.

He begins moving again, torturously slow. I can't help but wiggle, trying to get more. Trying to feed that hungry thing inside me. Suddenly, my head is yanked back again and the arm encircling my waist snakes it way up until his hand is over my throat. A pressure, my heart begins racing even faster. "What'd I say?" He demands. At my silence his hands tighten, using my hair to arch my throat back even farther, his other hand gripping my neck even tighter.

"You're in charge," I whisper, willingly acquiescing. Instantly, he withdraws and I'm lifted off the bed and tossed on my back as if I weigh no more than a feather. I scramble backwards as he grabs my ankles and pulls me forward. I quit wiggling, looking up into darkened blue eyes, so similar to his. The corner of his mouth turns up, a cocky smirk that is undeniably sexy. He hooks his arms under my knees and pulls me further, I'm half off the bed.

My eyes stay locked on his as he places my ankles together, straight up in the air. He places one knee on the bed and licks my calf, his hands sliding down to my knees. He begins nibbling the back of my calf, down to my thighs, I feel like my body is humming with tension while he toys with me. But I hold still obediently and within moments, his right hand is back at me, probing, entering. I stay perfectly still, maintaining eye contact as he teases me, goosebumps dot my flesh as his mouth sends chills coursing down my legs.

Finally, an eternity later, he smiles and before I can blink, my knees are hooked over his shoulders, my back is lifted off the bed, and he is driving into me with such powerful force that immediately brings me to orgasm. I'm crying out helplessly as he rocks into my body, I'm twisted up like a pretzel as waves of ecstasy wash over me. He continues to drive into me mercilessly, the orgasm peaks, and ebbs and then begins climbing again as the thrusts into me with reckless abandon. I'm biting his shoulder, my nails are leaving long red gouges in his back as I cross the precipice once more. I sink my teeth in his sculpted shoulder, crying out as my body clenches around him, this time bringing him with me over the edge. With a moan in my ear, he thrusts one final time, then collapses on me.

I lay there and he rolls off next to me. My body is tired, sated, and the thought occurs that tonight, perhaps at last I will get some decent sleep. He is speaking, I'm not sure what he's saying, I'm aware only if the deep hum of his voice and the slow drawl of his words. My eyes are growing heavy.

"---okay, Julia," he says, and leans over to get his shorts, he's getting dressed. Momentary confusion, then I remember Julia was the fake name I had given him. "Mmmm-hmmm," I answer, unsure of the question. I roll onto my belly, still naked and reach for my cigs on the night table. "I'll call you," I say, as I light one, hearing the lie and wondering if he does too.

Acrid smoke fills my lungs as my heart rate returns to normal. There's something always so satisfying to me, that first pull of a cigarette after sex. I'm humming, lost in my own satiated daze as I feel his hand trail over my ass and up my spine, finally closing at the back of my neck. He leans down and kisses me on the mouth and says good night.

The front door opens and closes softly. The sweetly sad melodies playing from my phone seem louder, now that I'm alone again. I snuff out my cigarette in an overflowing ashtray. I smoke wherever the hell I want to, now that I live alone.

My eyes are heavy, my body is limp from the evenings exertions. Halsey's clear voice is like a lullaby, and I realize with relief, that for once, my spin cycle brain has gone still. Gratefully, I close my eyes as blissful sleep takes over.

••••••break•••••••••

Morning light through my windows force me out of my deep slumber. Naked, stretching like a cat. My body is a little tender and I push back a little, to discover I'm alone in the bed. Confusion, I thought I felt his breath on my neck. I thought I felt his arm on my waist, his body pressed behind me, cuddling, holding me close. My eyes pop open, glancing into the bathroom....empty. I sit up, examining his side of the bed closer. It is still made up, though rumpled.

My eyes fill with tears like they do most mornings, if I sleep. I always wake up looking for him. Bitterly, I wonder if I always will. Because every morning I search without finding feels like I'm ripping off a scab, reopening an unhealed wound. Blood pours endlessly from this injury, yet I never die, and I never heal. I bleed and bleed and bleed. Every morning he is still gone, it is a fresh heartbreak to realize again.... still.... forever.... he isn't coming back.

The echoes of our life surround me.

But I live here alone.

I’m on my second beer when he sits down beside me at the crowded bar.

At first, I don’t acknowledge him, because I’m way too busy staring at the picture of JewBoy87’s penis on my phone and wondering when my life came to this.

Firstly, who sexts pictures of their genitals at eight p.m. on a Friday night? Someone with no life, who has nothing better to do than come home from work, make dinner for himself, before stripping down and taking photos at various angles of his very erect, very pink penis. Or someone who just has a folder entitled ‘Dick Pix’ on their smartphone just for show-and-tell moments like this...

Emily tasted like honey and milk. Her body yielded to Asher's caresses like butter to a hot knife. He had made her climax twice in the past half hour as he promised. And without taking their clothes off, because that was an important part of the deal.

He smiled upon seeing her blouse open to reveal a fire-red silk and satin bra. That was not his doing. She had unbuttoned her shirt herself while he was busy pleasuring her.

"I'm glad you think so." She was still breathless from the delights he had introduced in her. "Although this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I called to meet you here."

"Would you like to go over the latest revisions on the contract now, Emily? I think there are one or two more stipulations I have to insist we reconsider."

"I know what they are. I'll have Portman and Stewart take care of it." She had her hand on his wrist as he ran his fingers up and down her navel, urging him on.

She wanted more.

So did he.

"Are you sure about this?" he said, unmoving. "Your father was adamant about letting his brother have that 10 percent stake."

"My uncle has been a useless piece of trash since he dropped out of three colleges thirty years ago, and my father is a fool for thinking he'll get him to ever amount to anything more than a waste of space." She leaned forward and hooked her fingers on his belt buckle. "My fiancé is on his way here for dinner. Would you rather talk about my loser uncle or get inside me?"

***

THE NEXT DAY

"Ash, where the hell are you?"

"Nice to hear from you too, Charlie," said Asher, leaning comfortably in his seat. "I'm out having a drink, if you must know." His gaze strayed across the old Hollywood style restaurant to rest on a tall redhead in a clingy white dress and come-fuck-me heels. She was with two other young women sitting at the bar, talking excitedly. But every so often, she would glance over and meet his gaze. "I thought I'd celebrate my coming back to L.A. with some good scotch and ..."

The redhead tossed her hair and licked her lower lip.

"... some red velvet."

"You hate cake," Charlie said. "And you especially detest red velvet."

"I seem to find myself in the mood for it tonight. The kind with the white cream cheese frosting." He gave the redhead a small smile. "In fact I can practically taste some of that frosting right now. Would you care to join me?"

He could picture his best friend rolling her eyes. "No thank you," Charlie said. "I have an early breakfast meeting tomorrow. How did the meeting go yesterday?"

"Perfectly. You're speaking to the new majority owner of Ritter Media Holdings." He pulled out a hundred-dollar bill with his free hand and held it loosely in his fingers as he signaled a waitress.

"You got your 90%?" She laughed. "But of course you did. Old man Ritter really has lost his touch."

"Oh I don't know about that. Emily Ritter handled the negotiations. Quite a shrewd businesswoman, I must say. Her reputation is quite well deserved. Hang on."

Asher clasped the waitress's hand so the money was between their palms, and pulled her down to whisper in her ear. "Is it here?" he said.

"Yes, Mr. Darcy," she said. "Would you like us to send it over to your friend now?"

"That would be perfect, thank you, Vera."

She pocketed the cash with a smile, and left.

Charlie sighed. "You slept with her, didn't you?"

"I can say with all honesty, my dear Charlie, that neither of us got any sleep."

"Congratulations, I guess. Will she be your date to my party next Saturday? You haven't informed my assistant whether you're bringing a plus one, but she's learned from experience that it's just more convenient to assume you will."

"Very sensible. It's good to know Darlene's Princeton education is being put into good use. No, it seems Ms. Ritter is entirely engaged to a very boring middle-aged gentleman from Texas with the most appalling table manners."

He smiled as he watched the redhead and her friends gasp in surprise when Vera set down the beautifully designed cake in front of her on the bar top. Vera spoke to the redhead briefly, and gestured towards him. The redhead smiled at him — palms on her chest, her face flush with excitement. He nodded at her, and raised his drink.

"Well, whoever your plus one is," Charlie said, "be sure to inform her of the dress code. I'll not have another costume party ruined by one of your last-minute dates who show up with whatever they were wearing when you picked them up."

"I promise she will be in full costume, even if I have to dress her myself. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just about to have some birthday cake. Lunch tomorrow?"

"Of course. I missed you, Asher."

"And I missed you, my love. Goodnight."

He put the phone in his pocket just as the young woman came over. "Hi," he said. His gaze moved from her long slim legs up to her exquisitely formed breasts to her face.

"Have we met?" she said. "How did you know it was my birthday?"

"I didn't."

"Oh?" She looked confused. "So why..."

"Will you sit with me?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

To be continued.