Where now are our glorious, lauded gods?

Jupiter, in lightingbolt robes woven from furious storms, where?

Flames stream from above like Olympian rain.

Lady Juno, clothed in sumptuous purple, wreathed in scent

of plums, weighed down with bounty and elegance, where?

Snowflakes of ash are lining our windowsills.

Where now are our statues adorned with devotion?

Minerva, wise goddess, your serene, marble likeness

is melting in embers at the heart of Pompeii.

Twins of sun and moon, Diana, Apollo, you look

down from your chariots with disdain,

as the melted rock from Vulcan's forge drowns us.

Where now, are the deities we so devoutly worshipped?

I know only of one,who has deigned to show himself,

Pluto, his stygian hand wrapped softly around my throat.

I used to love Dad, like more than ice cream, or life itself. We'd play and play and play all day.

Then he became a controlling chauvinist, and we did nothing to stop the metamorphosis. My mum was especially powerless to stop a raging egotistical maniac. He was gruelling, having meted harsh discipline to his boys at school. But when you're defined by what you do for a living, it's not easy to transcend.

Granted, we were entirely cocooned in our own insecurities to know better.

One day he came at me with a chair, and I left the house. I didn't run away, but that love that was fast eroding crossed the threshold into hate.

Dad probably never stopped loving me, just like when I was fresh out of the oven. He'd never stop, like I never will with my boy.

Dad remains just another man in my life, although I wished it could be different. But to dredge up the past is to tear open old wounds and I'm not brave enough.

I haven't lived my life following principles that preceded the well-being of my family.

I'll never know why Dad did what he did, but I had an inkling.

I'll never understand what drove him, but I appreciate it could've been worse.

I see him in me at times.

I still cherish the values he instilled.

I use him as a reflection, a compass that points true South that I may always walk the opposite path.

I still love him.

I hope he knows.

Maybe one day, we'll tear down the barbed wires, spend more time watching his grandchildren grow up, on our back verandah, drinking beer, eating peanuts.

It's not too late, right?

please kill me twice

in my final day

lock my eternal sleep

as dead as a doornail

’cause I do not want to wake up

in a box made of pine

alone and lonely

die to live

to die again

grieve awhile for me

if grieve you must

if I die tomorrow

so does my sorrow.

Pic: ©Laura Makabresku

red tinted yonder

tinged with faint yellow

there, in the higher skies

caress the gaze full of wonder

to let it glow

kindle a fire in the eyes

linger, as hearts grow fonder

for ardent autumn skies

that will fade away

and the last fluttering leaves to behold

will be replaced by clarity

of colder days

when snow angels fly through the winter breeze

to dance and play;

paint the sky with the untold

sprinkle the ground with serenity

and let the mystique stays

covered in cold white

with such delight

offer countless warm memories

that will stay down the road;

hold your sense of wonder tightly

for it’s not merely frozen water you see.

Reclusive mentality

Has been built

Long ago

Rested on ephemerality

Of guilt;

Not sure

How to let go

Cast it down

To eternity

Only to walk

In the same path

Where dynamicity

Often intercept

With no mercy

Even so

Avoided auspiciously

Unscathed

Leaves no room

For sudden changes

A new beginning cries

For more chances

To brighten the gloom

To no avail

While old reasonings consume

Old moves shall prevail

In the place

Where losing

Before fighting

Is gracefully embraced

And the pain of choosing

Loses its pace.

#life #comestoanend #conservative #freeverse #love

false crescendo of effervescent of youth bleed through the wall,

there has been unrelenting war fought between pensive sadness and something hollow over the highest level in hierarchy of pain.

i watch this universe-made hole in agony, understand the gravity,

but what’s really matter in the end?

early AM wasted winning nothing, reaching for more hands to hold

badly beaten somehow,

but feelings are still valid in this well-crafted bullshit with or without chemicals involved.

another meaningless sunrise

announces the absence of something new.

i flail around in the pile of broken pieces, shouting colours while everything's black.

what a disgusting pseudo optimist during the day

master the art of play pretend,

how much longer until i fall?

---Repeat---

#challenge #depression #mentalhealth #breakthestigma #life #surviving

Imaginary distance

Rendered

In muted color

Eluded one’s bright existence

That yearn

To be remembered

Often wonder

What moment to live for

When time together

Is something

To escape from;

Rough time

More time

Safe place

More space

All hopes

Misplaced.

Savage affection

Bred obsession

Reflection

Connection

Rendered

In imaginary distance.

Pic: ©Laura Makabresku

#time #priority #life