What makes me believe there is more out there?

Parts of our history we cannot explain.

How did the Mayans cut so precisely with the tools they had?

How did the Egyptians build the pyramids in a precise alignment to the stars?

Why do perspective paintings show aircrafts not of that century? Before the dawn of television and CGI?

Where did the immortal jellyfish come from?

Magic? Or something greater?

“Ye are Blood of my Blood, and Bone of my Bone,

I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One.

I give ye my Spirit, ’til our Life shall be Done.”

-Diana Gabaldon, Outlander 

...

Gia pulled nervously at the bottom of her new dress. It was a babydoll style dress with sunflowers printed all over it. 

“What if he doesn’t like me?” she asked, pulling harder on the hem, tapping her flats against the pavement at the bottom of the steps. 

Leon grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be fine, Gia. Trust me: he’s going to like you. A lot.” 

She was meeting his son today. 

It was the day before they were due to go to Louisiana for his family reunion, and they were spending the night at his house before waking early to go to the airport. 

Gia was excited for the trip. They were headed to Thibodaux, Louisiana, a small town an hour and change outside of New Orleans. Leon promised to take her on a day trip there to see Bourbon Street and all the sights, something she has wanted to do since she was young. 

Today they planned on taking him out for a boat ride and then for ice cream. After, they were going to rent a movie and settle in while eating some popcorn. 

The day would undoubtedly be fun and full of things to sightsee and look forward to, but Gia was nervous all the same. 

She really wanted Tyler to like her.  

Over the last week and a half, she had been learning everything she could about him. And Leon. They had been getting to know each other on a deeper level. 

She found herself telling him everything about the client who changed her life-how he’d gotten the virus from a man he had experimented with without protection and didn’t find it necessary to tell her he wasn’t safe when he wanted to have anal sex, something Gia felt pressured to do and only understood his insistent need for once he admitted he liked men more than women- among every other deep seeded thing she could think to tell him about herself, not that there was much else. They had reached a more in depth connection with each other that was filled with convicted assurances and heated nights-and mornings and mid afternoons.

There wasn’t a single night spent apart, and so far, it was heaven, even though she still had a lot to work through and was still learning how to manage her emotions. She planned to meet with her mother and sister soon to tell them what had happened to her. They already had the date for when they would meet halfway and eat dinner. Leon would be there. 

Leon had been talking her through the fears and insecurities she had. He even recommended a therapist that she could talk to if she felt she needed it. So far, she hadn’t, because Leon was a soothing presence all on his own. He had a way of making her own up to her mistakes without putting herself down for the choices she made. 

Their developing relationship wasn’t one sided, either. Leon confided more of himself in her, and together they formed a bond that was strengthening more every day. 

And the most amazing part of it all, Gia was nowhere near wanting space from him-she had yet to panic and push him away like before, and most importantly, she didn’t think she would, because she simply didn’t want to. She wanted to be around him all the time, was beginning to crave just his presence alone. It was dangerous, this dependency of hers, but Leon only seemed to want to encourage it. In fact, he was just as smitten himself. Every morning he woke her up with kisses, and most of the time his hot flesh followed soon after, making every morning better and more intimate. 

Hand in hand they walked up the steps of Tyler’s mother’s house. 

It was a blistering hot day, and the sun beamed down on them, as if encouraging their steps to the lovely looking brownstone. 

Leon knocked on the door while Gia tried to downplay her nerves. 

She was excited to meet Tyler, but still her nerves rattled with the possibility of him not liking her as much as she hoped. She already liked him so much and she hadn’t even spoken a single word to him. She had seen several photos and videos of him, though, all of which she enjoyed gazing at with Leon. 

Her heart was pumping when Leon brought her hand to his mouth and pressed tiny kisses to the back of her palm. Instantly, she felt herself calming down enough to put a smile on her face. 

He smiled back. 

The door opened and Tyler’s mother stood at the threshold, her eyes immediately finding Gia. She assessed her in an openly curious way before her face broke out into a lovely grin. 

She was beautiful, with deeply tan skin and dark eyes that offset her corkscrew curls that were layered with a blonde frost. 

Immediately, she could see where Leon had been attracted to her. 

The strange thing about the whole thing was that Gia felt no lick of envy. How could she, when the woman was smiling so amiably at her. 

“You’re Gia, right? Leon spoke to me about you on the phone. I’m Nya, Tyler’s mother.” She greeted and shook Gia’s hand. 

“Nice to meet you too.” 

“You two can come in. Tyler is finishing up checking his bags to make sure he had everything.” 

“Told you,” Leon whispered in her ear as they followed Nya through her lovely foyer. 

In no time at all, an excited voice boomed through the hallway. “Daddy is that you?!” 

“In here, buddy!” Leon replied. 

He laughed as a small body came bounding to the living room where they stood and jumped into his arms. “Mommy said you’re taking me on the boat again. Is that true?” 

“Of course it is. We’re also going to visit Grandma tomorrow. Are you excited?” 

“Yeah!” 

He laughed some more and hugged his son tightly while he talked a mile a minute, his excitement a palpable force that spread throughout the room. 

Gia smiled, officially relaxed. 

“I have someone I want you to meet,” Leon said as he put Tyler down. “This is Gia.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his side. 

She looked down at the mini version of Leon and smiled brighter. “Hi, Tyler. It’s so nice to meet you.” 

“You too,” he responded politely. “Are you coming with us on the boat?” 

“Yes, is that okay?” 

“Sure! I can steer it and everything! Daddy lets me and we go really fast!” 

“I heard. I can’t wait to go out on the water with you guys.” 

“Are you coming to grandma’s too?” 

“I am. Is that okay, too?” 

“Sure! Grandma is always saying when we talk on the phone that she wants Daddy to bring a lady home finally.” 

Gia laughed, her heart light. “Is that so?” She looked at Leon, who was watching the exchange with fondness shining in his eyes. 

“Yeah! Do you want to see my cars? I have Lightning McQueen and Mater and Luigi and Doc and Red!” 

“Maybe some other time, buddy. We have to get going.” Leon said. “I’m sure your mother is ready for her anniversary weekend with Omar.” 

A man, Omar, walked into the room then and shook Leon’s hand. “Hey, man. How’s it going?” 

“Great, great. This past week has been particularly perfect,” Leon looked at her and smiled a heated smile that had Gia’s insides melting like ice. 

“Good, I’m glad. Nice to meet you, Gia, by the way.” 

He shook her hand. 

“You too, Omar.” 

“Alright, we should get going. Tyler, let’s go get your stuff, buddy.” Leon ushered his son out towards his room, Tyler’s excited voice bouncing through the walls the farther they went. He sent her a reassuring smile as the two of them disappeared from sight.

“I’m happy Leon found you,” Nya said, making Gia focus on her from where she was watching after them. 

“Thank you,” Gia replied shyly. “Congratulations on your anniversary by the way.” 

“Thanks. I mean that, though. Even speaking on the phone with him, he sounded more happy than he has in a long time. We’ve been encouraging him to find a woman for a while now. He kept telling us that he hadn’t found the right one yet. I’m guessing he found the right one in you.” 

“I found the right one in him, too. I’ve never met a man like him before.” 

“That’s how I feel about my Omar,” Nya looked up at Omar as he pulled her closer by wrapping an arm around her waist. 

It was nice for Gia to see that. She couldn’t help but think that she had lucked out with this. She had read so many times about mother’s of the hero’s kid being rude and manipulative, always attempting to worm their way into the hero’s heart and take out the other woman. 

Nya was the complete opposite of that, if the lovesick expression on her face as she looked at Omar was any indication. He watched her with the same admiration that reminded Gia of herself and Leon. 

I love him already, she thought with wonder. And I think he loves me too. 

It was one of the only things in her life she had ever been completely sure of, and it didn’t scare her as much as she thought it would. 

In fact, it liberated her and made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. 

The two boys came back into the room, Leon holding a red book bag over his shoulder and rolling a tiny Cars themed suitcase while Tyler had a toy car in each hand. 

He was boasting about the movie to his father, who had to have heard it a million times by now. But Leon didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. He was beaming at his son, hanging on to every word. 

It was something beautiful to see, and Gia had her own vision of a child, their child-a daughter- playing on the living room floor with Tyler. Then another one with a little boy passed through her thoughts, and she couldn’t decide which image she enjoyed better. 

Both seemed to be perfect. 

Both now seemed possible, when before Gia couldn’t even entertain the thought without being flooded with guilt from her mistakes. 

I really am making progress.

I can have a future; a happy one, where the man of my dreams is by my side to help me through it all.

And this time, she could believe it. 

...

“I really enjoyed today,” Gia said as she slipped into Leon’s bed. 

He finished brushing his teeth in his adjoining bathroom, then joined her. “We all did. It was a great day. Tyler couldn’t stop talking when I put him to bed. He even forgot to fold his laundry after he changed into his pajamas. I did it for him so he won’t get upset in the morning.” 

Gia smiled, “You were right; he is very peculiar. But I liked getting to know him firsthand today. I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure if he would like me. He took to me well.” 

“He’s a very good judge of character. I remember this one time a man ran into us in the park. He seemed to be in a rush and we were in his way. Tyler jumped behind me and told me he was a bad man. Seconds after, three police officers came running from the same place he was after him. Turns out, he was involved in a drug bust and was on the run.” 

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Tyler thought he accidentally touched him and washed his hands over and over. I had to put lotion on them because they got really dry.” 

It wasn’t particularly funny, but a laugh escaped against her will. “I’m sorry,” she said, chuckling. “I know it isn’t funny, but I can see it in my head and it’s kind of comical the way I’m picturing it.” 

“That’s alright. I know it’s funny. Like I said, my son is my little OCD buddy. He can be a little over the top, but it’s endearing to me. I wouldn’t trade him for the world.” 

Gia thought back to this afternoon, when she gave Tyler the pack of white grape juice boxes while they were setting up for the boat ride. He grabbed them from her, gave her a huge smile, then turned to his father and said, “I like her!” 

From then on, he was constantly pointing things out to her-the dolphins they saw swimming through the waves, the sea turtle that floated next to the boat, the buoy they passed on the way out-that he thought was intriguing. 

Gia was just as captivated by it all. It had been a perfect day, made all the more perfect when Leon pulled Tyler to the steering wheel when they were going back to the docks. She got to see firsthand the things Leon had told her about Tyler and his relationship. 

It was all sweet and joyful. She was already looking forward for more. 

“He’s a treasure for sure, Leon.” 

Leon turned over on his shoulder to face her and pulled her to him by the waist, flipping her legs over his hip. “So are you, Gia. I can’t tell you what it means to me that the two of you got along so well today.” He leaned in to kiss her. 

Gia’s body lit up with flames, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer. 

“He’s asleep? I don’t want him to walk in on something he shouldn’t.” She asked, her eyes flitting to the door. 

He buried his face in her neck, sucking in between words. “He’s asleep, baby. Don’t worry about that.” 

Before they got too busy and Gia couldn’t form words, she wondered, “Are you sure you want to take me tomorrow? I’ll understand if you want it to be just the two of you.” 

“No. I want you there. I’m not sure when I can visit next, and I’m too excited for my family to meet you, especially grandma.” 

“You think she’ll like me?” 

“I know she will. I think she’ll even love you. And not just because I do.” 

Her breath caught, and her hands gripped him tighter subconsciously. She felt more exposed being half naked with those words in the air between them, but it was her heart that was the rawest. 

She didn’t think, “I love you too, Leon.” 

His dark eyes filled with joy. He didn’t respond, didn’t double check for assurances because he already had them. He looked into her eyes and he knew how she felt. 

Instead, he kissed her. 

Then made love to her. 

He moved inside of her perfectly, making her body pulse with a million different sensations, all euphoric, and all centered to bring her towards an explosive climax that jolted them both. 

“Je’ t’aime,” he told her as he pulsed through his release. 

He collapsed on top of her, their sweaty bodies loose and swaying. 

“What did that mean?” Gia asked after a few minutes of them laying in content silence. 

“It means ‘I love you’ in French.” 

Her heart stuttered and felt as if it was electrified by an EKG. 

“I love you too.” 

He smiled. “I wanted to say it to you outright, not when it was implied. But I do, I love you, Gia. I know it’s soon, but it’s one of the truest things I have ever felt in my life.” 

“Me too. I feel that too, Leon.”

“I know, Gia. It’s written all over you, in those captivating eyes that I’ve been ensnared with since the beginning.” 

“When you know you know,” she quoted the words he’d spoken to her their first night together. 

“I know,” he said softly while he held her. 

...

“How do you pronounce it again?” Gia asked early the next morning on the plane ride. Tyler was in the middle of them, his head lolled to the side while he slept. 

“Thibodaux,” Leon repeated the name of his hometown. It sounded like ti-buh-doe in his southern drawl.  

“Thibodaux,” Gia parrotted. 

It didn’t matter though, she’d forget it in a few minutes when she attempted to say it again. 

“Very good,” he said, smiling. His expression told her he thought she was being cute. 

“Thank you. I’m trying.” she wrung her hands out over her knees. “Ugh, I’m still so nervous.” 

“Don’t be. Everything will go great, I promise. My family is incredibly large, but we aren’t scary. Very protective, but as long as you eat our food you’re gonna to be okay.” 

“Is that a joke?” 

“I wish I could say yes,” his expression was serious, but his lips turned up, making her nerves ease. 

“I’m sure I’ll like the food anyway.” 

“It isn’t for everyone. But to me, it’s the best stuff around.” 

“I love the way you talk. It’s sexy.” Gia bit her lip, feeling bold. 

It was because of Leon. He made her feel confident in the things she wanted. 

His expression tightened with heat. “Thank you. I’ve been told that before, but it didn’t mean half as much as it does coming from you. Part of me wishes we were back home. I’d take you to bed if it kept that look in your eyes.” 

“We can’t do anything at your grandma’s.” 

“No, no. I respect her too much to do anything foul under her roof.” 

“And I respect you for having that manner.” 

“She taught me well.” 

“She did.” 

Talking it out made Gia realize just how excited she was to meet this woman. She wanted to personally praise her for the work she did on the man before her. A man she hadn’t known long, but who had made an impact on her life so greatly, she no longer feared what her life would have been like without the hardships she endured. 

She wore her issues and gave them their due, but she no longer wallowed and felt sorry for herself. 

Now, she only looked forward. 

And the horizon was looking pretty good right now. 

...

She had never seen so many people in one place before. 

There was laughter and the sounds of sizzles and crackles from the grill and deep fryer that were being manned by some of Leon’s cousins. His uncle Jeffy was watching over the ribs at the barbeque. 

A scuttle of children ran past them, making Gia smile at the pure joy present on each of their faces. “Wow,” she breathed, watching after them. 

“Let’s go wish Aunt Mildred a Happy Birthday, see grandma, then make our rounds and then you can go play okay?” Leon said to Tyler, noticing his giddiness to go play with his cousins. 

The three of them had just arrived and stowed their luggage away in one of the closets by the entryway. 

A few family members had already greeted them, and even though Gia was the only white person there, she wasn’t treated with any prejudice. All she had heard was their joy that Leon had found someone after being astray for so long. 

It was all sweet and comforting. 

Leon spotted his aunt across the yard on the patio, surrounded by other family, and took both their hands to lead them that way. 

His aunt glanced up as they neared and smiled. “Leon,” came her soft voice, timid from age. Her gentle hand came up and grabbed Leon’s pulling him down, down for a hug. 

“Aunt Mildred, Happy Birthday. This is my son, Leon,” he encouraged Tyler to embrace her as well and once they parted, she looked up at Gia. “and this is Gia, my love.” 

Gia smiled and held out her hand. “Happy Birthday. It’s great to meet you.” 

“Give me a hug, dear. Any love of Leon’s is a love of mine.” She chuckled, then pulled Gia in for an embrace. 

The two of them engaged her in conversation for a few minutes, while Tyler jittered with impatience, too excited to play to stay still. 

They were making their way back toward the house when an aged voice sounded from the patio door. “Is that my Leon?” 

Leon’s grandmother drifted across the yard to meet them. 

“Grandma,” Leon said affectionately. 

“Oooh,” she hummed as they hugged tightly. “You never visit enough anymore. Don’t you miss your grandma?” 

“Everyday, grandma. I promise I visit as often as I can.” 

“I’ll believe that when I see it, young man.” The note in her voice said she was kidding, but she still gave him a stern, motherly expression. 

She was a beautiful woman, her skin only slightly wrinkled from age, her eyes a deep brown that matched Leon’s, clothes pristine and fit for a woman of family and elegance. Gia got a breeze of her perfume. It was old school and reminded her of her own grandmother before she passed. 

Leon’s grandma hugged Tyler and gushed over how big he was getting, and how much she missed him before setting him loose to go play. He jumped away and immediately sought out the other kids who welcomed him to play. 

Then her inquisitive gaze turned to Gia. “You’re Gia,” she said matter of factly, her tone unreadable. 

Gia began to get nervous. Leon’s hand brushed hers for assurance. 

“I am. It’s nice to-” she was cut off as his grandmother hugged her tightly. 

She held her for a few long beats, and Gia couldn’t help but return the affection. It felt nice, welcoming. “Welcome to the family,” she whispered in her ear. Gia’s eyes watered as they parted. 

“Thank you. Everyone has already made me feel so welcome. I love this,” she rambled. “The family, the happiness, the love. It reminds me of my mother and sister.” 

His grandmother smiled warmly. “My Leon has never brought a woman to me before.” 

“I heard. I feel...grateful for him. He’s the perfect man, and from what he tells me, you’re the woman to thank for it.” 

“Oh, I am,” her eyebrows raised into her gray hairline, her eyes flickering between the two of them. “but his grandfather helped with him too. He was our baby growing up. Still is, though he’s moved away from home.” 

“Grandma.” Leon chided in a light tone. “You know I love you.” 

“I miss him dearly. I’m always giving him a hard time about moving to Miami, but I know that’s where my great grandson is, so I’m only lenient to a fault. He better keep that promise and visit me more. And now that you’re in our family, that means you come too.” 

“Don’t you want to question me? Give me the third degree, see if I’m worthy of your grandson?” This was her main worry the past few days. 

“I already know the type of woman you are. If Leon’s brought you here, it’s for a reason. It tells me that you’re good enough, and I don’t need more than that. As long as he’s happy, that’s all I care about. He needs all the happiness in his life he can get.” 

“He’s given that to me too. When I met him, I had a lot going on in my head. Leon’s been helping me work through it. He’s great at helping me realize I can own my mistakes without bringing myself down in the process. He’s been a savior, really. I can’t imagine him not in my life.” 

The whole time Gia spoke, his grandmother was smiling. She had a soft look in her eyes that spoke of a kindredness she could get used to being around. 

“That’s all I want.” 

“Grandma,” Leon said, “I want to introduce Gia to everybody. Can we continue this after? We’ll sit next to you inside.” 

“Oh, nonsense, son!” she waved him off and grabbed Gia’s hand. “We’ll get food first, then introduce her to the family. I’m sure she’s hungry.” 

Leon opened his mouth, his eyes smiling, but Gia put a hand on his arm. “Leon has told me you have the best Soul Food around. I’m dying to try it.” she told her. 

She smiled wide. “Oh, yes, girl, I love you already. Just wait till you try my crawfish and grits!” 

Leon and Gia laughed as she pulled them along toward the house, chatting about all the food she had prepared the night before and this morning, and talking about the cake she’d made for her sister Mildred. 

She was determined for Gia to try everything she had made. 

Luckily, Gia was starving, and Leon was by her side through it all, eating it with her. 

“If you’ll let me, I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

-Lindsay Bergman, Heart of Mine

...

One blink. 

Two. 

Three. 

Four. 

Five. 

Gia counted every time his lids closed as he digested the words she’d just spoken. 

More like vomited with no gag reflex. 

As the seconds pushed into the minute territory, more vomit began to project. 

“I have medication that is helping curve the effects on my immune system. I can still live a normal life, but I will always have this. It will always linger. I may never be able to have kids, though the doctor’s say by taking my meds I have no chance of passing it to the baby-or any of my partners. The mere thought of having children terrifies me now. I can never give blood again. Which is how I found out. Three days after I gave at a LifeSouth bank I got the phone call to say they couldn’t use my blood because I-well, now you know. I hate saying it. I hate that some stupid man stripped me emotionally like this. I feel disgusting nearly every time I look at myself in the mirror-” as she listed off the things running through her mind, Gia could feel herself slipping. 

The loss of control was helpless, much like the dead silence she was receiving from Leon. 

In his eyes wasn’t disgust, but it wasn’t the desire he’d been showing her, either. It was nothing but a blank portrait of the kind man she’d gotten to know tonight. 

It only made things worse. 

So much worse. 

“I understand completely if you want to get up and leave right now. Trust me, I know more than anyone how undesirable this is. Who wants someone with this immunocompromising disease? You deserve someone who wouldn’t be afraid to give you children. Who you could make love to without thinking about the virus swarming inside them, worrying that it could infect you and ruin your life too. God, I don’t know why I asked you out tonight when I knew going in that there would be no future for us. And you’ve been telling me that you want a future with me, but now can’t you see that I can’t give it to you?” 

Gia continued to rattle off inconsistent thoughts and fears. She was showing the deepest parts of herself to him without a single moment in between for him to process. She wasn’t even sure if he was still listening at this point; she was talking so fast he probably couldn’t keep up. 

“I’m so sorry, Leon. I-” 

He put his hand on hers. 

Her word vomit caught in her throat. 

“Gia, baby, it’s okay.” 

“Okay?” She gasped. “How is any of this okay?” 

She stood and paced away from him. 

“I can’t put you through the emotional toll of this. I mean, look at me. I’m a nervous and an emotional mess. I try to hold it together, but this,” she motioned to herself. “This is what’s going on in my head nearly 24/7.” 

She shook her head and suddenly he was there, his face now open with a myriad of emotions, none of them harsh or judgemental. 

Gia stopped short.

“You said you’re taking medication, right?” 

He waited patiently for her to nod before continuing. “And that you can live a normal, healthy life, as long as you continue that regimen, right?” 

Another nod. 

“Then the rest of it doesn’t matter.” 

“But-” 

“Listen,” he said firmly, palms cupping her neck. “I don’t care about the rest because most of it is all in your head.” He tapped her temple softly. “You are rightfully scared, but I’m here to tell you that most of it is not a hindrance to me. You can still have children, healthily, and you can still live for a long time. If you don’t want children, that’s fine, but baby, don’t let this prevent you from finding happiness or starting a family. It’s terrible what happened to you, but that doesn’t mean that your life is over or that you can’t be with someone. I’m here. I’m here standing in front of you and I’m saying that I accept this.” 

Tears welled up but Gia fought them. His words were reassuring, but had the opposite effect. 

Gia thought that she was scared of him leaving her after he knew everything, but what she didn’t expect was that she was more scared that he accepted her, conditions and all. She saw the fantasized domestic life she had imagined before, the images of them making love desperately, the future they could have if only she grasped for it. 

But all they did now was make her want to faint with panic. 

“How can you accept this? How can you dwindle your life to this? To me? A nobody. A woman who let a man do this to her without asking for a health exam or at least assurance after that she wouldn’t have to go through this alone.” 

“Do you know what I’m hearing right now?” He asked, his voice calm. 

She didn’t answer. 

His thumbs rubbed the soft skin just under her jaw. “Do you?” He repeated, more intently, his eyes searching for hers. 

She couldn’t look at him. 

The crazy thing was, she knew she should ask him leave, but she couldn’t formulate the words. 

How much sense did that make? 

“Gia, look at me. Please.” 

Lips trembling, she did, her eyes filled with unshed tears. 

“Do you know what I’m hearing?” 

“A lost cause?” She whispered. 

He shook his head, a saddened expression passing over his features. “A woman who doesn’t accept herself. You are so convinced that I can’t want to be with you, flaws and all, because you haven’t accepted what’s happened to you. You are unhappy with how things are now, and it scares you to think that someone else can be willing to go through that with you. You’re trying to push me away now because I’ll be here for you. I’ll make you face these fears of yours.” 

“What if I can’t?” 

“I’ll be here to help you.” 

“But why, Leon? Why are you already so invested in me? How do you see all these things in me, and I can’t even look at myself without cringing sometimes?” 

“Because you don’t see what I see yet. You don’t see a strong woman who has been through something terrible, and is still going through it everyday, yet still functions day by day and marches on. You don’t see a sexy woman who makes my body feel like it’s on fire. You don’t see a woman that deserves to be cherished and loved and taken care of in every way that counts. You just don’t see what I see. But I want you to, and I’m prepared to, if you’ll let me.” 

His lips brushed hers, then pulled back, as if he wanted her mind to be clear when she told him her answer. 

“Will you let me?” he asked again. 

Silence. 

Then, “do you really think I’m strong?” She asked. “After everything I just said.” 

“I do. It’s one of the things that drew me to you. I could tell that you were going through something. I didn’t know what it was, but your eyes spoke to me. So green and expressive. Beautiful, exquisite. I see that in you; I saw that in you. And it’s what I’ve been wanting ever since. I’m aware that I’m moving fast, but I know what I want. I think it’s you that’s unsure about what you want.” 

“But I do want you, Leon. I want you so badly.” 

“But will you let me want you back?” 

Gia swallowed. She wanted to. God, did she want to. 

Why couldn’t she? 

Maybe she should talk to someone about what she’s been going through. Maybe she should really face what’s been happening. She’s been moving forward in life, but has she been moving on? Really and truly? 

She wasn’t so sure anymore. 

The answer was very clear; she wasn’t moving on. 

But this man was right here asking her to let him help her. He wanted her for his own reasons, the same way she wanted him, and it was terrifying. 

And also liberating. 

Gia’s heart swelled in her chest. She digested his words and what they meant and felt the most elation she’s ever experienced. Suddenly, her body was aching for his. 

She was aching for release. 

They still had a lot to discuss, to clear up and ask each other, but in this moment Gia wanted nothing more than for him to want her the way she was wanting him. 

She was about to make that irreversible move, but before she could, Leon began to speak again. 

“When I first got clean,” he began, “I went to rehab. At first, I didn’t want to go. I had done so many things that I can never take back and in my drunken stupors I was punishing myself for them while also still using my grandfather’s death as a crutch to keep drinking. But my grandma left the comfort of her home to talk some sense into me. She made me realize that alcohol couldn’t keep numbing the pain I was in, and the guilt I have, because I wasn’t dealing with it and letting myself heal mentally. She gave me a long, stern talking to, and I finally decided that it was time I cleared up my act. 

“While I was in rehab, I had a lot of time to reflect on the things I had done wrong, and not only to my son, but to my whole family. I left my grandma to grieve on her own because I couldn’t handle my own, and I abandoned my son because he was a fresh start that I wasn’t ready for yet. His birth should have made me feel alive again, but at the time all it did was make me feel trapped. I didn’t want it, and so I did wrong by him and left to chase the bottle. There are many nights I can’t remember, many nights I wish I could forget, but speaking in group and reflecting on everything taught me that even though I wasted a lot of time by being a deadbeat father and grandson, I can still make the most of the time I have left.

“It took me a long time to realize that. I had so much to process and face and it overwhelmed me. Without alcohol, I almost thought that I couldn’t cope. Many times I nearly gave up and searched for the oblivion a glass of whiskey would give me. But I didn’t. You see, Gia, I fought through my demons because it was the strong thing to do. My grandfather wouldn’t have wanted me to mess up like I did over his death. He would have wanted me to what I should have been doing from the beginning; cherish the time I have with the family that’s here still.

“I shouldn’t have let my problems prevent me from living. I should have worked through them instead of taking the easy way out. It’s hard to focus on the things we’ve done wrong and own up to them, but trust me when I say once you accept and move on, you will be better for it. You will come out stronger than ever and ready to face the world with your head held high. You’ll know what you want and go for it with no breaks. I’ve been in your shoes Gia; I know what it’s like to be mad at yourself for the things we’ve done and can’t change. I know how it feels to not be able to look at yourself because you’re so ashamed of who you’ve become or the things you’ve lost and can never get back. I know how it feels to be scared to face those things. But the beautiful thing about all of it, is being able to come out on the other side and still live the life you should have already been.

“That’s why you should let me in. I know that it feels like you’re going through it alone. I felt that too, but here I am, just like my grandma was for me, extending a hand for you to take. The best part of healing is the support you have. I can be that support. I won’t enable you, but I will help you through this. I will help you realize that you have worth, and just because something terrible has happened to you, doesn’t mean your life can’t be lived the way you want it. Don’t you want to be happy, Gia?” 

Gia was knocked speechless by his passionate speech. She devoured every word and swallowed them whole. 

Leon was right. 

Gia had endured something terrible, but it didn’t mean that she couldn’t still have a happy life. She could still be happy. She could let someone help her; she could take his hand and move through this block in her road. 

It was possible. It would be difficult and emotional, but it was possible. 

She hadn’t truly acknowledged it as a possibility before, but she wanted to now. 

As she looked up at him, the good emotions began to build back into her chest. The want that momentarily suppressed to digest his beautifully delivered words reared back into her body tenfold. 

Her heart wanted to burst from her chest and give itself to Leon. 

He hadn’t obliterated all of her fears just now, but he did take away one vital one, and that was the fear that she would never have a good relationship again, that she wouldn’t find a man who would want her with everything inside him. A man that wouldn’t look at her the way Leon was in this moment. 

She let her eyes show him her answer before she voiced it. “I want to be happy, Leon. I want to move forward. With you.”

The smile on his face was cut off by her lips pressing into his. 

Being bold was not in her DNA, but Gia felt bold then. Leon had made her feel things she never had before, and she knew now in complete clarity that they were not one sided. There was a confidence inside of her in this moment that was refusing to fade. 

She wanted his body. She got his heart, that much was clear, but now she needed the physical connection to consummate it. 

Leon’s arms came around her and held her tightly while he drank from her mouth like she was all he needed to survive. Their tongues glided against the other passionately while Gia attempted to press her body as close to Leon’s as she could get. It made his arms tighten, but not to the point of pain. 

It was perfect. 

And she couldn’t wait for more. 

“Take me to bed,” she whimpered. “I want you to take me to bed.” 

“Where is it?” he asked, keeping their mouths fused. He picked her up as if she was a lightweight and waited for her to guide him. 

“Second door,” she told him, her arms wrapped around his neck, legs around his hips. 

His toned, bulked hips...

She felt each muscle pull as he moved them and it made her legs tighten against him, her skirt riding up indecently. 

She didn’t care. 

All she could think about was the feel of his body against hers, and how good he would inevitably feel inside of her. 

When they reached her door, she frantically reached for the knob while her hips made small movements against his. What she felt there made her pause. 

“Oh, my...” she whispered, unable to keep herself from doing it again. The hardness her pelvis made contact with was unlike any she had ever felt before. ”...God.” 

Gia had read about many heroines having a similar reaction to their pending partner’s package, but she could never relate in any way with any of her other partners. 

Leon was in a league of his own; thick, long, and so hard feeling. 

She wondered what he would look like with no barriers, or how he would fit. She hadn’t been with a man in over seven months. 

Leon’s voice was panting out of him. “Let me help.” One hand reached around and twisted the knob, pushing it in for entry. 

He let her down, her feet unsteady for a moment until she balanced. She hesitated for only a second before walking to the lamp by her bed and twisting it on. 

She wanted to see him. 

And though the desire was less for herself, she wanted him to see her. She wanted this vulnerability that being bare to him would give her. 

He sat at the edge of her bed and watched her as she came to stand in front of him. Gia put her hands in his hair and rubbed her fingers through the curly strands. 

His eyes closed. 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Gia asked him. 

She wanted to make sure before they went further. 

His dark eyes were earnest, hungry. “The only other thing I have been sure of was being there for my son. There’s no question that this is what I want. Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Leon,” she whispered. “I’m sure.” 

His large palms gripped around her thighs and spread her over his lap until she was in a comfortable straddling position. He tilted his head up and captured her lips once more, his kiss more hungry and urgent than it had been any other time he’d kissed her. 

It was promissory and addictive. Gia couldn’t get enough of his taste. She moaned into his mouth, opening hers wide until the kiss was sloppy and lustful. 

Leon groaned, using his hands on her thighs to grind her into his crotch. Her panties were thin, but his slacks were thick, and so the pressure wasn’t as intense as either of them wanted. Gia pressed herself deeper into him, finding a rhythm that helped meet that need. 

Leon suddenly tensed beneath her, his breathing harsh as he broke their lip lock. He put his forehead on hers, his voice laced with regret. “I don’t have protection. I didn’t want to assume anything...” 

Gia didn’t know how he would feel about what she was about to tell him. “I have an IUD. I’ve had it for over a year. When I...went to the doctor, he told me that it was fine to have it with my medication. It’s still effective for four more years.” 

He watched her, considering her words. 

“We can make a run to the store,” she rushed to add, his silence worrying her. “Or if you don’t want to do this-” 

“No,” he interrupted her. “I trust your word. I’m okay with this, as long as you are. I’m clean, I promise. I haven’t...been with a woman in months.” 

“I believe you.” 

They shared a smile, then leaned back in at the same time. 

He caressed her bared thighs, bunching up her skirt and exploring the newly exposed skin while she continued to grind on him. 

Gia’s head dropped back with the sparks shooting under her skin and his lips trailed over her cheeks to her neck. He opened his lips and placed open kisses up and down the flesh. It made her shiver all over. 

As one hand moved between her legs, her eyes opened and stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her. Well, she could-because it felt so damn good- but it was still shocking to think that this incredible man wanted her body as badly as she wanted his. 

Gia jerked when his fingers moved her panties to the side and his palm covered her wet heat. Her fingers tightened in his hair and she moved her hips into his touch. 

“Leon,” she moaned, already building to a release and he’d barely moved his fingers. 

“You’re so wet,” his deep Southern voice purred into her neck. “Feels so good. I can just imagine how exquisite you’ll feel when I’m buried deep in you. I want it so bad, Gia.” 

“Oh, me too.” Gia gasped. “Please!” 

“I want to see you come apart like this first. Give it to me.” One thick finger entered her, the others focusing on her clit, and Gia saw stars. 

He barely made one, two, three strokes before she was losing it completely, coming apart and shaking through the rhythmic sensations her core was experiencing. She gripped him tightly, moving her hips to draw out as much heady pleasure as she could. 

After, her body was loose and buzzing with wonderful endorphins. Almost immediately she was wanting more. She wanted to witness his pleasure too. 

She looked at him. 

He was already watching her, his pupils blown, his jaw loose, lips parted. “My Lord,” he said in a desperate voice. “I need more.” 

Before she could breathe, he flipped her over and put her in the middle of her bed. He pulled her skirt off, taking her panties as he went. His eyes locked on her center for a long moment before flicking back to her face. 

“The curtain matches the drapes,” he said admiringly, making her blush. 

“I’m sorry I’m not shaved. I haven’t-” 

“I like it,” Leon assured her. “I actually might love it. You’re so pretty, pink...” he brought the finger he had inside of her to his lips and sucked. “sweet too. Just how I knew you’d be.” 

Her own lips parted, but before she could respond, he demanded, “take your top off. Bra too.” 

He began to take off his clothes, beginning with his socks. 

He was so demanding in this arena, and it was intoxicating. Gia didn’t think she could handle gentle right now. Her body was too wired, too desperate for another release. 

No man had ever made her come so fast before. Or at all, really, if she could remember correctly. 

But how could she remember any of them when Leon’s naked body was right in front of her? 

Her green eyes took him in. He was just as muscular and she had imagined, his dark skin protruding with bulges. His abs were smooth whereas his pecs were coated with curly hair that she wanted to feel against her breasts. 

Her eyes moved lower over his toned hips, to the erect cock beckoning her. It was painfully hard, she could see, huge-so huge!- the tip glistening with a clear fluid she had the intense urge to lick. He was veiny, but not overly so, and he bobbed with every move he made back towards the mattress. 

His eyes bored into her chest that was still clothed. 

Gia scrambled to a sitting position and pulled the fabric over her head. Her bra followed next. She tossed both garments to the floor; she’d worry about the mess later. 

Gia boldy looked back at Leon, observing the way he watched her body. Her core clenched. 

Her breasts were large for her body, and she knew that they were one of her better features. A lot of men could only seem to focus on them when they came into Al’s. 

Leon was no different here, but the difference between him and them was she wanted his mouth on her. She wanted him to suckle her nipples while he moved inside her. 

Licking his lips, Leon moved over her and guided her back until she lay flat for him, hands braced above her. “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the privilege to see.” He told her, and the way he said it let her know that he meant it wholeheartedly. 

She spread her legs wide, allowing him to nestle while his lips descended over her breasts. He sucked and tongued until she was trembling all over again, her core pulsing with the need to be filled by him. 

“Please, Leon. I need you inside of me. Please.” Gia begged. 

For once, she didn’t care how she sounded. All she wanted was his body. She didn’t care how desperate it made her feel or sound. 

Leon lined himself up at her entrance, never once taking his lips or tongue off her breasts. 

He began to enter her slowly, carefully inserting one inch at a time. Gia’s body couldn’t help but tighten already. The feeling of him entering her was overwhelming, yet at the same time not enough. He was thick, stretching her almost painfully, but it all felt amazing. 

Better than anything before him. 

She gripped behind his neck and brought him back to her mouth. 

With a smooth pivot of his hips, he was fully rooted inside her. 

She gasped, unable to contain the quakes of her body. “Ohhh...” she whimpered. 

Her eyes watched him as he pulled halfway out then glided back in smoothly. He spread her wide, his own moans leaving him as he moved in a steady rhythm, picking up pace only to slow when the pleasure breached. 

“Goddamn!” He exclaimed, surprising her in the best way. “You feel better-so much better than I could ever think. My, God, this is so good. Fucking the best, Gia. The best.” 

Every word increased the pressure building in her core. Her walls rippled around his cock, and Leon seemed to lose all sense of control, rutting inside and out passionately. 

Their moans mixed together. Their bodies began to sweat and slide against each other. 

Gia draped her legs over his thighs as he leaned back until he was in a sitting position, pulling her into his thrusts as he rolled his hips forward. 

He was the most beautiful like this, Gia noticed. His temples had sweat dripping down them, his lips were parted as he breathed filthy words to her, his eyes glazed over and captivated by hers, nostrils flaring with his attempt at tempering his control. 

“You feel so good,” she told him as the most intense wave rolled over her, reverberating onto his cock. “Oh, God.” She pulsed and pulsed and pulsed. The sensations seemed never ending. 

“No you feel good,” he said on a moan as she came all over him. “Tight,” his head fell back, his hips still pistoning. “I’m gonna come. Jesus, you feel good. I can’t...hold on...” 

Pulling his head down to her, she kissed him through the lingering sensations and encouraged his release. “Let go, Leon. Give it to me, baby.” 

“Fuck!” he groaned and seconds later, he was releasing himself inside of her. 

They tensed and pulsed together, letting themselves release their sounds from their throats without restraint. 

After, he caught his breath while hovering over her still and they remained silent as they revelled in the intensity they just shared. 

It was a life-changing experience, unlike any other. She’d never felt so open or freeing, so comfortable with the way her body commanded her actions without a single qualm. 

Gia was simply shattered. 

Utterly shattered. 

...

“When you know, you know.” Leon said sometime later. He was laying next to her now. They had been huddled together, still reeling from the passion they’d repeated for a second time before collapsing from the wonderfulness of it. 

She was delightfully sore from their efforts. 

“Know what?” Gia asked, closing her eyes as he rubbed his palm along her scalp. It caught on a few knots that he had to untangle gently, careful not to hurt her still. 

“That you’ve found the person you’re meant to be with. I’ve found that with you, Gia. I just know it.” 

“Do you want to know something?” 

“What?” 

“I just know it, too. You’re my person, Leon. And I never thought I would find you, let alone know so soon.” And she wasn’t saying this because he rocked her world in this bed. 

She felt lighter, happier than she had in the longest time it felt like. 

He smiled at her, his eyes a silent agreement that he confirmed with a soft kiss. 

“Want to know something else?” she asked when they parted and her body was once again ready for his. 

“Hmm?” His hands wandered down her naked flesh. 

“I think I knew the moment you walked into Al’s. Something compelled me to ask you to dinner. Now, I know why.” 

“Want to know a secret?” 

“Hmm?” 

He smiled at her repeat of his contented hum and confessed, “I was going to ask you out when you asked me. I had turned to leave, but something was pulling me to turn around. One glance back at you, in all your nervous energy, and I was lost.”

“I will be forever grateful to Al for forgetting to finish your suit.” Gia joked.

“Me too.” 

“Find the things that matter, and hold on to them, and fight for them, and refuse to let them go.”

-Lauren Oliver, Delirium

...

During the drive to her apartment, Gia thought about the possible outcomes of Leon seeing her home. 

There were many ways this night could end, but one stood out to her enticingly. That last parting kiss was enough to put her mind back in the gutter. 

And now, with them going to her private sanctuary, she couldn’t get her mind out of it. 

Visions of the two of them entwined on her queen mattress consumed her. Her hands were trembling so badly she feared she may wreck Verity. 

It was luck that she caught a red light. 

Or maybe not, because her gaze went automatically to her rear view, where she could see Leon’s black pickup, Risa. 

He was a conscientious driver, she could see. His car was the recommended distance away, his big hands steady on the ten and two, head trained forward. 

She thought she could feel his gaze on her, and that made everything worse. The trembling expanded into her lower limbs, specifically the space that had been dormant for months. 

Tonight, it had been on fire. 

In the best way. 

Gia shook herself. Perhaps she should have been worried about more important things, like the fact that she was about to invite someone into her privacy. Someone who she had known for only a night. 

Also someone who felt like he may find a wife in her. 

Her.

Gia. 

Still unbelievable. 

That was her first thought, at least. 

Yet there was a persistent voice inside that was telling her the notion wasn’t as inconceivable as she kept telling herself. As this wonderful night ensued, a picture was painting itself in her mind; her and Leon. Her meeting his son Tyler. The three of them going to the zoo to feed the giraffes. Her and Leon making love in the early morning sunlight.

It would be in her bed, and sometimes his. He would ask her to stay after a fantastic date. 

The domestic fantasies were dream-like to Gia. She hadn’t let herself think this way in so long, she’d forgotten how good it felt to actually think like this. More than that, though, the fantasies had someone who wanted to make them a reality. 

While she was alone and could breathe air that wasn’t clouded with his scent, Gia could think more clearly. 

She had to admit to herself that she was warming to the idea of letting Leon inside. His honesty was like a beacon for her. He was paving his way into her soul and she was having trouble stopping him. 

More than that, she wasn’t wanting to, not in her heart. 

Gia parked into her usual space and Leon pulled into the open space next to her.

She took a deep breath and gripped the steering wheel as she looked over at him. He opened his car door then came around to hers. 

She unbuckled her seatbelt and pushed the door open. Leon helped her the rest of the way, reaching a hand out. 

Gia paused once the door was shut, her back against it. She cast a cursory glance at her apartment building, her mind now racing with other thoughts. 

She hadn’t had anyone in her apartment since she moved into it seven months ago. She went through her memory of it before she left tonight. It was clean enough. She had done dishes the night before and hadn’t cooked anything in the kitchen since. Her living room may have some clutter in it from where she lounged to read her Kindle that morning before work, but nothing that would tell Leon she was a slob. 

Do I have coffee? she wondered. Expresso? When was the last time I even made coffee at home and didn’t stop at Dunkin’ Donuts? Does Leon drink coffee? I didn’t ask. 

That would have been something good to ask. 

What will we do when we get inside? Do I make him coffee? Do I show him the books on my Kindle? 

Oh, no, did I make my bed? 

The worries swarmed her, creating anxiety she didn’t need. 

“Do you want some coffee?” She blurted out, her heart racing. “I mean, do you like coffee? Because I can make us some once we get to...” Her words trailed away as Leon stepped closer to her, his hands taking her own and bringing them between them to her chest. 

“Gia,” Leon said kindly, his tone alone a soothing coo. “I do like coffee. And I would love some. Please relax. You have nothing to worry about. I have no expectations here, except to get to know your life a little better. I’m perfectly okay to sit on your couch and talk.” 

“What if I want more?” Gia asked.  

She wanted to swallow her tongue immediately afterward. 

“That’s perfectly okay too.” 

“What if I’m not ready? I mean, we just met today and already you’re here, saying all these wonderful things and I’m not even sure if I can give you everything you want and undoubtedly deserve. I’m scared of what you’ll say. I’m scared of how you’re making me feel right now. But more than that, I want everything you want and that’s what I’m having trouble digesting. It’s difficult, because I have been alone for a long time now. Letting someone in like this won’t be easy, if even possible.” 

The word vomit poured between them like water from a hose, dripping uncontrollably. Gia knew she shouldn’t be unloading like this in public, but the words wouldn’t stop once she started. She needed to get them out before she took him upstairs.

Leon gazed at her warmly, undeterred by her words. Would she say anything that would scare him off? It didn’t seem like it. 

“You’re worth it to me, Gia.” He said. The way he spoke made no room for refusal, yet Gia felt the word vomit once more. 

The weird thing was, this only happened once before seven months ago. Gia had become good at not saying much, at fading into the background of everything around her. 

With Leon, she felt like the center of his attention, like he couldn’t focus on anything but her. 

“But why? That’s what I can’t grasp. Why me? I’m such a simple person. I have...medical issues that will never go away. It’s made me fearful and wary of everyone I come across. Then you came along and I...I’m having a hard time worrying about those things. My want for you is outweighing so much it shouldn’t be.”

Leon’s southern twang was the thickest it had been when he finally responded. For a long moment he had only stared at her, the disbelief written all over his face. 

Among that disbelief was determination, though. Maybe Gia thought he would realize she was too much hassle and bounce. Maybe she thought he would take back everything he had been saying. 

Gia quickly understood that she should have known better. Leon wasn’t that kind of man. 

Maybe he had been once, but he wasn’t now.  

All he had done this entire night was show her that. 

Had what happened affected her so much that she could be doubtful of blatant genuineness?

His hands tightened around hers unpainfully. “You think that’s such a bad thing, Gia? Or that some medical problems will have me running? I’m not that man. A few years ago I was, but I’ve grown since then. I know the things I want. Maybe you need more than a night to determine how you feel, but I don’t. I’ve known since I laid eyes on you that you were different, that you would make me feel more than any woman I’ve laid with. It isn’t a burden to want me like you do. I see the want in your eyes, and I know you see it in mine. I promise that you won’t scare me away. I also promise that I won’t make you regret opening up to me. How could I? I’ve told you so much about me already. And you’re still in front of me. Many women wouldn’t have said the things you said to me.” 

“How can you be sure you won’t be scared away? You have no idea what you’d be signing up for.” 

“Why don’t you tell me, then?” 

Gia felt the timer run out of its last seconds. Her senses prickled from his touch, but her throat was closing. She let go of him and stepped away to the sidewalk. 

She took a deep breath, then another and another and another. 

She was trying to calm the panic that was crawling up her spine. She wanted to tell him, she did, but she was so scared. 

She was scared of the possible judgement, of having him leave without her explaining, of him leaving with her having explained. 

Very quickly, he had weaved himself in her mind and took root. Whereas before the mere notion of a future with this man was unfathomable, now she could see it. It was there, lingering in her thoughts, but the fears were close behind to consume it. 

Does she have to tell him tonight? 

It appeared fair, considering how open he was with her. 

Gia contemplated her options. If I tell him and he leaves then all I have is this night. If I don’t tell him and he leaves then all I have is this night. 

Either way, I run the risk of him leaving. Would I rather him know and suffer the consequences, or rather him not know and let us live with the what ifs? 

And then the one question that deafened all the others entered her mind. 

What if I tell him and it’s all worth it? 

Then, what if he’s right? What if he accepts me for all of who I am? I already do him; I think he’s wonderful. Would it truly be so terrible? 

If it fails, life will go on, Gia thought to assure herself. After all, it had been for the past year and I’m still here. The doctor’s say I can live a long healthy life as long as I take my medication and do what I need to do. 

If I can live through that, then I can survive this too.

As much as she was still terrified, Gia had made her decision. She’d been feeling weak for a long time, but this decision made her feel strong. In many aspects of life she was considered boring and unfulfilled, but here, she felt empowered. She finally felt in control, even though it could all go one of two ways. 

This was a risk she had to make, because really, why should she bypass something that made her feel this liberated? 

Leon was a gamble, and for the first time tonight, she was completely sure of her bet. 

She turned back to him, meeting his concerned chocolate eyes squarely. “Can we talk in my apartment?” She asked. 

Leon showed no ounce of hesitation as he said, “Absolutely.” 

...

Gia’s keys jingled as she turned her house key in the lock. She looked over her shoulder at Leon, who stood a polite distance back, and smiled through her nerves. 

Her small burst of confidence was dwindling, but she was holding on to that certainty for dear life. 

“It’s small,” she said as she pulled her key out and twisted the knob, opening her front door. “But it’s enough for me.” She stepped into her entryway and toed off her flats then gestured for him to enter. 

“I like it,” he said as his gaze flickered across the quaint space. “It’s cosy. Can I take my shoes off?” He gestured to his loafers. 

“Please,” Gia said, smoothing her palms over her skirt. “Did you want that coffee? Feel free to make yourself comfortable on the couch, or you know, wherever.” 

“The coffee sounds good. And I’d like to be where you are, if that’s okay?” 

“That’s fine.” Gia smiled and turned towards her kitchen. “This way.” 

She felt him follow behind her. She opened her cabinet and grabbed the neglected bag of coffee grounds, beginning the steps to make a half pot. 

“All I have is Dunkin’. Is that okay?” 

“I’ve never had it, but if you like it I’m sure it’ll be fine.” 

It was her turn to give him a weird look for not having tried something. “You’ve really never had Dunkin’ before? Please tell me you don’t like Starbucks.” 

Leon laughed as he watched her process of putting ground beans into a fresh filter. “I don’t drink coffee from restaurant chains like that. I prefer to make my own. Folgers is my coffee of choice.”  

“I accept that choice. Folgers was what we drank growing up. Then I tried Dunkin’ in college and have been buying it ever since, but I don’t usually make it at home anymore.” 

“Why not?” 

“I oversleep sometimes and have to rush. It’s easier to stop then wait for my coffee machine to brew. It kind of became habit for me, especially when it’s just me drinking it. One cup and I can function. It would be a waste for me to make more in a pot.” 

Nodding, he then asked, “How long have you been living in this building?” 

Gia paused in pouring the water into the back of the maker, doing pretend math in her head. “About seven and a half months.” 

“What made you choose this place?” 

She gave him honesty. “The affordable-ness mostly, and it is a considerable distance from my old apartment. It’s also most private here; we all kind of stick to ourselves here.” 

“Was it the client that made you move so far from your old home? The one that went bad?” 

“Yes, it was,” Gia said, feeling her throat close up. “I wanted to be as far away from him and my old job as possible.” 

“Does he bother you?” There was a dark thread of warning in his voice, like the wrong answer could set him off. It was a completely different tone than that he used with her. It wasn’t sweet or kind, but possessive. 

And Gia had to admit to herself that it sounded good falling from his lips. 

It sounded genuine, not practiced or forced. 

“Hardly ever, no. Once I ended things, he kind of saw it as my fault, or that I should have been okay with what happened. The nerve of him to say that. You have no idea how ridiculous he sounded saying those words to me.” Gia replied. 

Anger washed over her at the memory, of how unaffected he was at the fact that he compromised her heath in such a way that she could hardly look at herself some days. He completely changed her life, and he didn’t even care. 

“You can tell me,” he said encouragingly, moving closer to her. “I’d really like to know, if I’m honest.” 

“It’s messed up, what he did to me. I won’t sugar coat that. It hurt even more when my boss decided to throw away four years of loyalty for one client, too. He was important, yes, but to fire me? I guess in a way I did deserve it. I learned then to never ever again mix business with pleasure.” 

“It never does end well,” he agreed. 

Gia looked at him, trying to find more confidence. The conversation had once again wondered to what she wasn’t telling him, and she could tell that he was getting more curious by the minute for answers. 

Her coffee maker beeped behind her, indicating that it was finished brewing. The aroma of the coffee filled the space between them, making her nostrils flare as she took it in. 

Leon watched her, amusement clouding the curiosity as his eyes moved over her features. Like every other time, they heated and made her pulse jump like a child reaching for a fly away balloon. 

She forgot for a moment what she meant to tell him, but when she did remember, she turned away from his stare to grab two coffee mugs from the cabinet above her sink. Setting them on the counter, she slid the canter that held the sugar in front of her. 

“Um, how do you take your coffee?” Asked Gia, unable to hide the nervous lilt in her voice now. “I don’t think I have any creamer; I’ll have to check.”

Leon moved closer to her until his arm nearly touched hers. She could feel his heat spreading to her. 

It was warming, comforting. 

Now she had trouble pulling away to check the fridge. 

Her suspicions were right. All she had was a leftover container of Mongolian Beef from two nights ago and some fresh fruit from the farmer’s market. 

“Just sugar is fine with me.” Leon replied once she came back empty handed. 

“I’m sorry. I’m due to grocery shop.” 

“That’s alright. I usually take it black anyway.” 

“Oh. I don’t, really. I like the added flavor from creamer.” 

“It’s not for everyone,” Leon agreed. “We probably should have made sure you had some before making it. I could go grab some from the store if you’d like?” 

Gia smiled at him, letting him see the growing warmth in her heart. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you, but that’s alright. It would likely go to waste anyway.” 

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind.” 

“I’m sure, but thank you. You’re a very sweet man, Leon.” 

“My grandma will be proud to hear that,” he chuckled. “Thank you.”

“How often do you go visit your family in Louisiana?” 

“I try to get there at least once a year, but it doesn’t always work out that way.” 

“Has Tyler met your grandma yet?” 

“She’s come to visit a couple of times and he spent some time with her. She’s wanting him to come spend a vacation there with her. I want to take him with me next week to the reunion, show him my roots, let him meet the rest of my family. It would be a fun trip for sure.” 

“I think he’d like that. I bet he would make sure you two had everything you needed for the trip, not an item missing. At least from what you’ve told me of him.” 

“You’d be right, sweetheart. He would likely drive me nuts before we even drove to the airport. Despite that, I’d love to travel with him, let him see parts of the country while he’s still young, then he can decide where he wants to go, or if he wants to go anywhere.” 

“Have you thought about moving back home?” 

Gia handed him his coffee. 

He grabbed it from her, their fingers connecting for the briefest moment before he responded. “I have, but this is where Tyler is, and I’ve made my own home here. I do miss my family, especially my grandma, but I’m happy to be where my son is, among other people.” 

Their eyes locked. 

“Like me?” Gia breathed, voice nearly nonexistent. 

“Yes, Gia. Like you.” He put his hand on her waist, the other busy setting down his coffee cup. 

Gia’s eyes closed as she savored his touch. 

She breathed deep for courage. 

“I know you’re waiting on me to tell you what’s going on with me. I think...I think we should sit down. This isn’t a conversation I can have while standing casually in my kitchen.” 

“Lead me wherever.” 

She took the hand that was around her waist and lead him toward her living room. 

Her apartment was a simple space, open platformed, with everything but her room and bathroom on display. Her three seater couch was where she decided to sit, as the chaise she normally lounged in was too small for both of them. 

Her skirt brushed against the fabricated leather as she sat, and Leon followed her lead, still clutching her hand. 

He was silent as he waited for her to begin, and she was taking more steady breaths as she gained the words she wanted to say. 

She’d only ever said these words twice. Once when she parroted it back to the phlebotomist over the phone, and once when she was confronting the very man responsible for them.  

She barely thought them as it was, and her hands were trembling too badly in trepidation at the mere notion of saying them aloud. 

She dropped Leon’s hand and ran hers over her knees. Her heel dug into the base of the three seater. 

Just rip it off like a bandaid, she told herself. Once the words are out, the worst is over.

I hope. 

Gia turned to Leon, intending to say the words with some dignity, but instead they came out rushed and uncoordinated. 

Just like her thoughts. 

“I have HIV.” 

“One can’t fight with oneself, for this battle has only one loser.”

-Mario Vargas Llosa, Aunt Julia and The Scriptwriter

...

Her breath hitched in her throat. 

She looked at Leon, somehow still shocked by his words though they were mild compared to some of the others he’d spoken tonight. 

“I don’t know if I could let you,” she finally said, pure honesty shining in her eyes. “I don’t know if I could let you be by my side through this.” 

Gia knew she had to be brutally honest now, because the truth of it was that she didn’t know. She didn’t know if she could let a wonderful man like Leon be with her and live with her through this ongoing lifetime process. 

It wasn’t going away. It would never go away, and she was still trying to accept that. 

How could she force someone else to? 

It wouldn’t be an easy life to share with someone else, for either of them. He had a child to watch grow up. He had his sobriety to look after, too. 

What if she wound up driving him away before he could leave her? What if she couldn’t give him the family he wanted? 

Like he had been this whole night, Leon sensed she was dealing with troubling thoughts. He grabbed both of her hands and led her away from the edge of the water. He walked up a good distance in the sand and urged her gently to sit down with him in the sand. 

Enjoying the feel of his hands on her, despite the trying thoughts plaguing her, Gia let him and sat down, setting her flats down and bending her knees modestly. She smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles on her librarian skirt and prepared herself for his questions.

“Are you sick?” He asked. There was pain in his voice, as if the mere thought was unbearable to him. 

Considering the things he had said to her tonight, Gia believed that note in his voice. It made the muscles of her heart tighten. 

“Not in the terminally ill sense I’m not. I’m not at risk of dying anytime soon; I have the proper treatment for my issue.” 

“What’s the matter, then, Gia?” 

Feeling her chest seize with panic at the direct question, Gia folded her arms over her knees and buried her forehead into her clamming skin. 

“I can’t.” She whispered. “I’m sorry, Leon. I can’t be the type of woman that gives you everything you want. I’m not worth this effort.” 

“Please stop saying that.” He said firmly, but his voice held ounces of the softness he’d been giving her all night. “I doubt anything you say will make me change my mind about you.” 

“You’re in for a surprise, then.” 

Leon leaned closer to her, the scent of him washing over her third sense like a tidal wave. His eyes stared into hers with conviction in his dark irises. Plump lips parting at the closeness of their faces, his eyes trailed over the features of her face. 

“Want to know something?” He inquired, voice low. 

Her gaze flickered at the feel of his breath on her face. Her lips, more specifically. She couldn’t stop thoughts on how they would feel on hers. Her earlier thought resurfaced. 

Kiss me. 

“Yes,” she whispered shyly, wanting to swallow down her nerves that were quickly mixing with desire. 

She was having trouble maintaining eye contact when her eyes wanted to focus on his lips. It felt like they were coming closer, though she couldn’t be sure if she was just imagining it because that’s what she wanted to happen. 

“I don’t care.” 

Confusion overcame her desire, but only just. Enough for her to ask, “About what?” 

“The surprise. I think I want you too bad that it wouldn’t matter to me what you told me. I really like you, Gia. I want to see where this goes. I don’t want this to end after one night. I want more of you.” 

“More?” she breathed stupidly, her mind a muddle of things, all different, yet all centered around the feel of his breath on her mouth. 

“Yes, more. So badly all I keep thinking about is what you taste like. And not just here,” his thumb rubbed over her lips, parting them on instinct. 

A silent gasp passed through those parted lips. Gia knew he felt it. His eyes grew hooded and his own breath was beginning to come out shorter, almost like a pant but shallower. 

Oh, God, she thought. How does it feel so good already and he hasn’t even touched me? 

I want more. 

As much as I shouldn’t, I want more. 

“Where else?” She bravely pushed out, the words still breathless. 

“I’m not going to sound like a gentleman if I continue.” 

“That’s alright.” 

It was just them, two people who had only known each other for one night, sitting on a secluded beach and unsure about what could happen next between them. 

Gia was confused. But she was also undoubtedly aroused beyond she knew she could ever be. 

She wanted to hear the dirty words. They would do anything but make her feel dirty, she knew. 

“I want to lay you down and put my mouth on you. I want to taste the space between your thighs and spread you for me. I would make sure you felt me all over, because you have barely touched me and I can feel you all over, especially in the center of me. From the moment I saw you this morning, it’s all I’ve been able to think about. I want to take my tongue...” his breath caught and his voice thickened with the desire he was clearly feeling. “And drag it down, over the three little moles on your neck, down, over the slopes of your breasts, down, lower, until I’m nestled between your thighs, and making you tremble. Repeatedly.” 

“Leon,” Gia gasped. Said thighs were already trembling. She felt the wetness gathering. More importantly, she kept feeling wanted. 

That feeling, after being bereft of it for so long, was intoxicating. It felt liberating to have a man want her to this degree. Gia, a woman who had trouble feeling confident in general, was wanting everything he said so desperately-and more- that she almost climbed into his lap and begged for it. 

She’d never begged for a man before. And she never thought she would, until in this moment with a man who was proving to be more and more wonderful.

“Gia. I want to kiss you. May I?” That Southern twang pulverized her final thread of control. She barely got out her nod of consent before his lips were on hers. 

It wasn’t rough or demanding like she had been expecting. No, it was soft and reverent, his lips feeling like they were savoring the feel and taste of her own. 

This kiss was better than any expectations she may have had. His lips were exactly as she thought they would be; soft, supple, and perfect. 

So perfect. 

Leon gently parted Gia’s lips with his tongue and dipped inside. The electricity that conducted between them was heady. 

Gia moaned, body trembling. 

He led the kiss but gave her room to breathe. He didn’t suffocate her with forceful strokes, instead choosing to worship her mouth gently, tongue massaging with hers like a smooth caressing wave. He was the ocean and she was the sand. They were meeting at one point, each retreat taking some of the other with it. 

God, it felt good. 

Slowly, their slow taking increased to an urgent exploration. 

Both of them unveiled the urgency they could no longer keep confined inside of them. 

His hands held the back of her head to him, tilted how he wanted, as he drank from her mouth insistently. Her own hands went to his and brushed through the cleanly cut tuft of curls there. 

“I knew you would taste better than I imagined,” He croaked into her mouth, groaning when she pulled her teeth gently over his tongue. “Fuck.” 

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you curse,” she whimpered. 

She didn’t want to pull away. 

One taste and she felt addicted. 

She didn’t want to stop. 

“I have a dirty mouth in the bedroom. I hope that’s okay?” 

“Oh it’s perfect.” She whimpered again and repeated the word. “Perfect. Yes, Leon.” 

...

“Are you ready to go home yet?” He asked her as he pulled his lips away, his breath heavy, tone laced with yearning. He pressed both against the side of her mouth and pecked softly over her jawline until he made it back to her lips, where he ravished her again.

“I don’t want to leave,” Gia admitted when they broke apart for air again. 

Leon was silent a moment before his kiss swollen lips parted and he asked, “Would it be too much if I said I wanted to see where you live?” 

Her heart still pounding with fire, Gia licked her lips and tasted him on them. She considered his words thoughtfully, wondering about the implications of them and where they could lead her. 

She wasn’t sure if he was implying what she was thinking, but how could she think of anything else when he had just lit her on fire and drowned her at the same time? 

Either way, her body was in the driver’s seat, her mind a blank slate save for one thing, and that was the deepest primal urge humans had.

Gia knew that Leon felt all the things he told her this evening. She knew that he had to be feeling the same way she was, and even though she was still in shock that he wanted her this way, she wanted to take advantage of all the things he was making her feel. 

But at what cost? 

“It’s not too much,” she assured him. “But it may not be possible, Leon. We only just met tonight. What does that say about me? About you?” 

“I think it says that I’m enamoured by you. I won’t force you into anything, Gia. If all you’ll give me is a chance to drive you home and glance at where you lay your head at night, I will take it, no complaints. I just want more of a glimpse into your life, if you’ll let me.” 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she whispered, more to herself. 

Why, why me? she wanted to ask. The words caught in her throat. She hated that she felt this insecure. 

“I want you to believe me, Gia. I really do. Will you let me convince you? Will you trust me?” 

Trust was very rare to find. At least, that was what life taught her. After everything that had happened to her this past year, it was difficult for her to articulate trust into anyone. Leon was showing her that she could trust him. He was being the perfect man, someone she never thought she would find. 

Had she found her someone?

She was arguing with herself, but at this point it all seemed to be for naught. 

She made a quick decision. All of this questioning was making her head hurt. It couldn’t be helped, all things considered, but for the moment, she was letting the fire that still fed the desire inside of her rule over. 

“Yes, I’ll trust you, Leon.” 

“I will do anything not to make you regret this.” He said and pulled her close again. 

This was another soft kiss. It didn’t deepen, but it was still explosive in feeling. He pressed into her again and again, until she was malleable to his will. 

“Let me take you home,” Leon urged into her mouth. “Please.” 

Gia parted from him to answer. “Yeah.” 

Leon stood and reached for her hand. He helped her up and they began to trek back to the deck they walked down. 

They let the water rush over their feet once more and spoke of how much they loved the ocean. Gia listened, fascinated by the stories he told about him and his son on the water. Gia found that she loved these stories. She wanted to hear them all. She hadn’t met Tyler, but she wanted to. 

Maybe they were moving too fast. Gia felt they may just be that couple that didn’t do slow. They had just met and he was already taking her home. As it was, things were in her hands. 

What would happen when they finally made it to her house? 

Was it possible that she was already referring to them as a couple in her mind? How, with all of this confliction inside of her? 

“Shut your mind off for a moment. When you’re ready you can tell me.” 

“What if I’m never ready?” Gia voiced her thoughts. 

“I have faith that you will be.” 

The sounds of the waves washed back over her. She closed her eyes. “How do you know?” 

“Call it a feeling I have. I have a feeling that you’re going to change my life. For the better. I know how it sounds, but it’s the truth.” 

They fell back into silence. For the rest of the walk, nothing was spoken between them. Instead, they enjoyed each other’s company and the walk back to the restaurant. 

Leon led her to the parking lot. “Which car is yours?” 

Cheeks flamed, Gia pointed to the old silver Prius across the lot. The orange light of the street lamp casted an unflattering glare on the chipped paint she hadn’t gotten around to tuning. 

“She’s my first car,” Gia admitted. “I’ve had many opportunities to get a newer, better one, but I never could. I know it’s weird, but she’s important to me.” 

Leon gazed at the car in thought. The expression on his face wasn’t one of judgement. “What’s her name?” He asked. 

A small grin spread on his still kiss swollen lips. 

“What?” 

“Oh, I know you have one. What is it?” 

“Verity.” Her cheeks flamed harder. 

Leon’s expression morphed with his curiosity. “What made you pick that name?” 

“I didn’t,” she confessed. “My sister did. I told her if she finished her chores and helped me with dinner that she could. That’s what she came up with. She didn’t look like this when I first got her.” Gia ran her hands over the hood, now cold from over two hours of unuse. 

“I like it.” 

“What about yours? Which one is yours?” 

Leon pointed to a car a few spots over from hers. It was an older model of a black ford pick up truck. It was probably older than Gia’s car. It wasn’t unkempt like hers was-on the outside, at least-but the body of the truck gave way to its age. 

“How old is she?” She wondered.  

“She’s been around since 1979.” 

“How long have you had her?” 

“Around nine years. She was my grandfather’s truck. My grandma gave her to me when he died.” 

“That was generous of her. I’m guessing he loved her?” 

“Oh, yes. Very much. He spent a lot of my childhood under her hood. He always kept her in top shape. I’ve tried honoring him by doing the same. She hasn’t failed me so far.” 

“And what’s her name?” 

“Risa. I kept it the same for my grandpa. It didn’t feel right changing it.” 

“I respect that you’ve done that. I’m sure wherever he is, he appreciates that.” 

Leon came closer to her suddenly, making her gasp and brace herself against Verity. 

“Thank you,” he whispered. “That was a sweet thing to say.” 

“I meant it.” Gia whispered back, her soft tone honest. 

His hand came up to her cheek and cupped, thumb rubbing along the skin of her jaw tenderly. He didn’t cease the strokes for what felt like forever, but Gia wasn’t complaining. 

Quite the opposite, really. 

Her eyes closed in pleasure and she couldn’t stop herself from leaning further into him. It was helpless, the way she reacted to him. It was foreign and completely welcome in this moment. 

She wanted him to keep touching her. 

Distant laughter and voices caused her to realize where they were. In an orange lighted parking lot, a line up of bustling eating establishments and tattoo shops nearby. 

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. As she expected, he was already watching her. 

His nose touched hers. “Ready to go?” 

Gia had to rub the tips of their noses together. It was an impulse she couldn’t check, but Leon didn’t discourage her movements. Instead he reciprocated, his white teeth gleaming in the light. 

“I guess you’ll follow me? I can’t really leave my car here.” She said, realizing immediately how that sounded. “Not that you were suggesting that, or anything...” 

He laughed. “I know, Gia. I’ll follow you. And are you still alright with this? If this is too much I can say goodnight right here. I’ll admit that it’s the last thing I want. I just want to see more of you.” 

Gia’s heart felt lighter from his words, yet tighter at the same time. 

So sweet, so polite. 

“This is still what I want. I...” Fear mingled with the words she wanted to say. She couldn’t continue, though a strong part of her wanted to.

“I’m still patient,” he reassured her. “As long as when you do tell me, it’s the truth.” 

“I will give you nothing less, Leon. I promise.” 

“Want to know something? I really do believe that.” 

“You do?” 

“Yes. I believe you, Gia. That’s not something I say lightly.” 

“Thank you.” 

“No. Thank you. For giving me that feeling. For this whole night, actually. I love that it isn’t ending yet.” 

“Me too.” 

And he kissed her again. 

For that, Gia guessed. 

Because she wasn’t lying. 

“What if you find your soulmate... at the wrong time?”

-Lauren Kate, Passion 

...

Gia stayed silent for a long moment, unsure of how to process Leon’s words. 

In the middle of this, Kylee stopped by their table to put down the check and take their empty plates. 

“Gia?” Leon questioned, breaking their silence. 

She chanced a look into his eyes and saw the regret there. He must have been thinking that he spoke too soon, that she was put off by his words, and yes a part of her was. 

But a stronger part of her wasn’t. 

And that had her thinking about the past few months of her life. All the research and medication and emotional trauma. Gia didn’t know if she could open herself to someone again. Leon almost seemed too good to be true. The fact that he was human, that he had made mistakes, that he was a father and the way he spoke about his son, with love and reverence, only added to that feeling. 

“Have I done it again?” He asked. 

Gia blinked away her thoughts and looked at the man in front of her. He really was gorgeous. And for some reason, he wanted her. 

Her. 

He’d felt a connection with her. 

Her. 

She realized what he was asking. “No, no. I’m just...processing. Did you really mean that?” 

“Of course. I meant it when I said I would always tell you the truth.” 

“I believe you. It’s just...Leon, there is something about me that I feel I should tell you. When you find out, you will probably change your mind about me. You’ll realize that, well, I’m really not worth the trouble.” 

“I find that hard to believe.” 

Believe it, she wanted to say, but she didn’t have the confidence to. 

Because something in her didn’t believe it either. 

She was a mixture of feelings. Good and bad battling it out inside of her. As much as she hated it, bad was winning at the moment. 

Looking for a way to switch topics-something she had been succeeding at all night, Gia grabbed the check, knowing it would distract a man like Leon; a gentleman. 

“I can split-” 

“Don’t even think about it.” 

He took the bill, gently, it should be noted, and slid a card from his wallet into the pocket. He set the folder down in the corner of the table. Within seconds, Kylee had it and whisked away to take care of it. 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s been my pleasure.” 

“Listen, Gia, please,” He began. “I’d like to take you somewhere after this. I don’t want this night to end yet. Unless you are ready to end it?” 

The good side won for this part. “I’m not ready.” 

“I’m happy to hear that. You see, I would like a better chance to talk to you about what I said, and to learn more about you. I realize that I said it strong. I apologize for that. I haven’t been on a date in years. I’m afraid it’s showing.” 

“It’s not actually,” Gia assured him, her own nerves beginning to settle once again. “Quite the opposite. You’ve been wonderful, very honest. I like that, more than you know. I want to know more about you, and your son, too, if that’s okay.” 

“It’s perfect.” He said with a breathtaking smile as Kylee returned with his card and the receipt. 

He was up before Gia could blink and behind her chair, helping her out of it. He put out his hand, a silent invitation for her to take it. 

Heart trembling, she placed her silky palm in his, feeling the rough texture of a working man’s hands, and let him lead her across the restaurant. 

They entered the warm night, still hand in hand. Gia could smell the saltiness of the ocean from where they stood. It was close, only a few blocks away. 

“Are you up for a bit of a walk?” Leon asked her, giving her hand a slight squeeze. 

Gia had a feeling they were going there. She was up for it, alright; she loved the beach. 

“I can walk; I’m not wearing heels,” she breathed a laugh as his eyes went to her feet. If he wanted the type of woman that wore heels, it didn’t show on his face. 

If his words that kept ringing in her mind were truthful, he really wouldn’t mind her not wearing heels for him at all. He was much taller than her. If he were to bend to kiss her, it would be a good ways. 

Gia blushed at the thought of kissing him. She couldn’t imagine that his lips would be any less soft than how she envisioned them feeling. 

“I don’t think heels would suit you.” He said, pulling her from her thoughts of his mouth. 

She didn’t realize that she was staring at his lips until they pulled into a small smile. Her eyes snapped back to his, finding a smolder. 

“Is that a bad thing?” She asked, her voice conveying the arousal she felt in her whole body. 

“No.” 

The word was simple, but complete with the same desire as hers. 

She still couldn’t believe the way this man had been looking at her. Watching her. 

Together, they walked in the direction of the beach. 

The city was always crowded and busling, no matter what time or day of the week it was. The saying, ‘the city never sleeps’ was as real as it got in Miami. The streets were busy, alight with bodies and signs for various stores and restaurants. Scents mingled from the street food and angling bodies, some good, some bad, and some questionable. People were shouting obscenities and laughing amongst themselves without a care for who was watching. A drunk woman stumbled into a tattoo shop just ahead of them, laughing and exclaiming that she was going to get her nipples pierced so her boyfriend would love her again. Gia couldn’t help but giggle, though she felt bad for the desperate sounding girl. Leon looked down at her, his hand still holding onto hers, and laughed along with her. 

“I guess you never know what you’re going to get in the city, huh?” 

“Nope. But that’s what I like about it; there’s a sea of diversity, and it all blends together in this one place, on every corner, on every night.” 

“Do you like to cruise the city, Gia?” 

She felt her cheeks heating once more. “I’m not. The opposite, really. I can’t lie, the same reasons I love the city are the same reasons it gives me anxiety. I don’t frequent out much. I’d rather stay at home with a good book over getting drunk at a bar or dancing at a club any day.” 

He appeared to be considering her words, going by his nod. 

Gia felt herself needing to explain. “I told you I’m boring. That wasn’t a lie.” 

“There isn’t anything wrong with liking your privacy.” 

“It just seems that society wants us to think that we have to be outgoing creatures, constantly on the move, partying and hanging out with friends, living life to the fullest because if we don’t we’re wasting it away. I don’t have many friends. I don’t go out. I prefer small quaint spaces over big crowded shopping malls.” 

“That doesn’t make you boring, Gia.”

Gia didn’t agree, but she kept that to herself. 

“Do you like the beach?” He asked. 

“I love it.” 

“Me too. It gives me time to think. I enjoy being on the water. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my son.” 

“Does he like it?” 

“He can’t swim yet, so he prefers to be out on the boat with me more than anything. I like to put a hat on him and let him steer.” 

Gia’s eyes widened and a smile threatened to pull at her lips at the thought of a mini version of Leon tiptoeing over the curve of a boat wheel, the imaginary hat consuming his hair and forehead. “You let him steer all by hisself?” 

“No,” he admitted with a reverent smile. “but I let him think he does.” 

“That’s sweet.” 

“It is until I let my guard down and he turns too sharp. Boy, I’ve nearly gone overboard a dozen times.” 

“But you think it was worth it, huh?” 

“I do.” His eyes shone at her, that mocha drizzle making her heart pound even harder. 

They reached the beach soon after, which forced them to break their intensifying eye contact. It seemed like the tension between them kept building with every connect of their eyes. It gave Gia a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. 

The fluttered like eyelashes in high wind. 

Leon and Gia passed only a couple of people on their way down to the shore. Before they could descend the wooden steps provided, Gia paused and bent down to remove her flats. 

Watching her, Leon did the same with his loafers, slipping his socks off as well. 

“I may love the beach, but the sand can be ridiculous at times.” He said. 

Gia’s toes curled around said sand. “I agree. When I was younger and my mother would take my sister and I to Jax beach, I would always get sand in my little bathing suit bottoms. I would let my sister bury me in the sand and that just made it all the more worse.” 

In the darkness that was illuminated by the convenient full moon, Leon appeared to be imagining that scenario. “I don’t suppose you would let me bury you in the sand?” 

They laughed together at the thought. 

“Um, I don’t think so,” Gia replied. “Did you miss the part where I said I agree?” 

“I thought I would ask anyway. Opinions change over time, you know.” 

Gia’s laughter died down with that sentence. 

The words rang true to her, and she wondered if that would be the case with Leon when pertaining to her. When he found out, that is. 

At this point, it felt like the time was approaching for her to tell him.  

Dread filled the space where the butterflies were. 

“Come on,” Leon said, sensing the damper that put on her lifted mood. He grabbed her hand once again and they descended the steps together. 

Gia felt her bad side tamper down as soon as the scent of the ocean hit her nostrils. The sound of the waves crashing along the beach was like a song she never wanted to stop hearing. The light from the moon cast an alluring glow on the surface of the ocean, creating a romantic light over the cresting waves. 

“It’s so beautiful.” She whispered into the quieted air. 

Leon watched her as he replied, “Yes it is.” 

Gia was glad that the night provided enough low light that he couldn’t see her returning blush. 

He was talking about her. 

Me, she thought. 

It was still hard for her to grasp that he felt this way about her. 

I’m just me, she thought. What’s so special about little old me? 

Leon knew the answer. He had been prepared to tell her, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear it yet. 

The compliments felt good, more than good actually, but that good and bad battle kept trying to rise in her. The feelings of the past seven months was difficult for her to stray away from. 

But tonight, she felt herself wanting to. 

She felt this undeniable urge to listen to what Leon said, to heed it close to her heart and whisper them back to herself when this was all over. 

Leon’s hand tightened slightly around hers. It broke her out of her thoughts. 

She looked back at him. 

“I want to-” His words were hoarse and he stopped them to clear his throat. “I want to...” 

The hanger dangled like a hook. 

Gia felt the desire to finish the sentence for him. They stepped closer to each other, his hand pulling hers with his. 

Kiss me. 

The words were left unspoken but were still heard. 

Her body began to slowly tremble, a not so subtle tremble that racked her insides with excited nerves. 

Something stopped her, though. 

Fear, probably. 

Those insecurities were at it again, making her doubt her abilities. Why would she want to put herself through this anyway? She knew kissing Leon would feel heart wrenchingly exquisite. Those soft lips pressed against hers, tongue caressing and feeling along hers. 

Oh, yes, it would be an earth shattering experience. 

At what cost though? 

Could Leon really mean the words he was saying? Could he really want to settle with someone like her? Someone with her problems? 

Gia stepped back, her hand dropping from his. 

“Do you need more reassurances, Gia?” His deeply affected voice asked. That octave of thickness was back in the mix of his accent. 

Her lip wanted to tremble. “No, no. I’m sorry. I’m just...” Taking a slow deep breath, she continued. “having trouble processing all of this. It’s wonderful, please don’t doubt that, but I have fears. Terribly scary fears. My present has been dictated by my past for a while now. Being here with you has made me want to leave that behind me. It’s scaring me is all.” 

“Would you like to talk about it?” 

Fear still gripped her. She didn’t want the timer to go off just yet. She needed more time, more of him and this precious night. 

She really was a ball of conflictions, wasn’t she? 

“Can we walk instead?” She inquired. “I need to build my courage.” 

“Sure thing.” He said softly, intimately, like she was his girlfriend and he was talking her off of a ledge. 

An emotional ledge, maybe. 

Gia walked to the edge of the water and let the salty liquid run over her feet. There was a slight sting on the tops of her ankles from where she shaved earlier that day. Salt water and freshly shaven legs were not a healthy mix, Gia remembered, a little too late. 

Leon joined her and they set off down the shore in silence. 

He did grab her hand again, and it felt just as good each time, maybe even more. 

Their arms brushed continuously as they walked, the water sloshing around their feet below with each step taken. 

Listening to the soft sounds, Gia was calming again. Her panic diluted in her veins until it was a dull throb that was far more manageable at this level. 

“I think you’re wonderful, Gia.” Leon told her, voice admiring. “I can’t tell you why I feel this way. Like I’ve been saying, something about you is drawing me nearer. I have this overwhelming urge to scoop you in my arms and spin you around until we’re both dizzy. I want...” 

Swallowing, Gia dared to ask. “You want to what?” 

“I want to make love to you.” 

A gasp left her parted lips the instant he said those irretractable words. It wasn’t a gasp of dismay. The way her body quickly reacted alarmed Gia. Her skin felt alive with buzzing nerves. Suddenly the place where their hands connected was singeing her in the most enjoyable way. 

“Am I being too forward? I should know better. My grandmother taught me better manners than that, but the words, well, I couldn’t keep them in any longer.” 

“No, no. I wasn’t prepared for them, but that doesn’t mean they’re unwelcome.”

In the darkness, she saw him bite his bottom lip. They didn’t stop walking, but the tension between them increased tenfold.

He brought their conjoined hands to his chest, where she could feel the tightness of the muscles there and the quick, quick pump of his heart. 

Her lips parted and she sighed contentedly. She couldn’t help but treasure this moment, locking it away in her storage of fond memories. 

Only, this was right now in the present and currently happening. 

Thud thump. 

Thud thump. 

“May I continue to talk about what I said earlier?” 

“Which part?” Gia asked timidly, swallowing against the nerves. 

“The marriage part.”

“Okay.” The timidness wasn’t gone. 

“Recovering in AA has taught me a lot about myself. As I worked through my grief, I learned that what I really want is to have a family. I was lost for a really long time, and I’m ready to be found. I haven’t met anyone where I felt that sense of belonging that comes with a family, except with my son and grandma. Tyler has filled a lot inside of me, but the hole that’s there waiting to be filled is for a woman.” 

“You think that woman is me?” 

“I think you could be.” 

Something occurred to Gia then that outweighed her trepidation. 

“Did you ever have those type of feelings for your son’s mother?” 

Leon’s eyes met hers and she saw the genuine shock there. Gia got the impression that it wasn’t something he had ever considered before, which was surprising to her. 

“I never entertained the thought,” he told her honestly, confirming her thoughts. “We were a one night stand and by the time I found out she was pregnant, my grandfather had already passed. I went on a downward spiral. In that time, she found someone, and he’s a good man. He treats Tyler right, and he was supportive of me getting to know my son.” 

“No lines were ever crossed?” 

“I think he had reluctance at first, but I have a right to know my son and I think he understood that, man to man. We aren’t friends, but we both love Tyler and that’s enough for me.” 

“That worked out well. Not many people are like that.” 

“I’d like to ask...why do you not keep in contact with your father?” 

Gia felt a long time standing floodgate open. “It has never been by choice, at least not when I was a kid. He was always in and out of my life since he and my mom divorced when I was two. One of us would contact the other once or twice a year, and I’d go visit him, but then he would just stop calling. It was like he fell off the face of the earth. Last time he did that to me, I was fifteen and was so used to it that I didn’t care anymore. I sent him a letter when I was eighteen and gave him my number, but he’s made no effort to call me. I finally saw with absolute clarity where I stand in his life. I haven’t contacted him since and he hasn’t reached out to me at all.” 

“I’m sorry. I never knew my father, but I don’t know how I would have handled that uncertainty in my life. Growing up wasn’t difficult for me. My problems didn’t begin for me until my early twenties.” 

Gia was feeling more open than she had in a long time. And she found herself wanting to share more. “Can I be honest about something?” 

“I would hope for nothing less.” Leon assured her. 

“I’m so numb to the situation with my father that I don’t know whether or not I would be sad if he died. I have no feelings toward him; I just don’t care anymore. I don’t know if I would even cry, if I would mourn him at all, because I have no emotional attachments to him.” 

Realizing how heartless that made her sound, Gia withdrew her hand from his and looked out at the sea. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I must sound so heartless, considering I do have a parent.” 

Leon’s warm fingers came to the side of her head and wiped a frazzled lock of her hair out of the way. “That didn’t sound heartless to me. I think the opposite right now. I think it’s his loss that he chose to leave you like that for so many years with lingering uncertainty. It’s unfair for a young girl to go through that.” 

It was, but Gia remained silent. She was done venting about that, but she did want to add something. 

“Even though I feel indifferent to him now, what he did still affected me. I have fears that a man won’t stick around for me. That I’m not enough. After the year that I’ve had, those feelings only seem to be worse now, especially because keeping a guy may not be an option at all for me.” 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“I mean, well... it’s hard for me to say it. I’ve never said it out loud; I barely let myself think it. I know it’s real, and I’ve been trying to deal with it, but it’s been hard for me. I’ve had to go through this alone. I haven’t even told my mom or sister yet.” 

Leon lowered his hand to her cheek and rubbed it gently. Shocking tingles drifted through her skin. “What if I told you that you didn’t have to go through it alone anymore?” 

“Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.”

-Elinor Glyn

...

“Why a suit?” Gia asked. It was the only thing she could think of to change the subject. It seemed like an appropriate question; not overstepping or personal. 

As far as she knew, that is. 

Leon’s dark eyes watched her from across the table. He knew what she was asking without an elaboration. “I have a family reunion next Saturday. My great aunt is turning seventy-nine.” 

“Wow. Congratulations. Well, I suppose it’s her I should be congratulating, but seeing as she’s not here...” 

God. Gia took another sip of her water. Her nerves were beginning to rise again, but one more look into those warm eyes had them simmering in her veins. 

How can he calm me so easily? she wondered while watching him. 

“I will pass on your kindness. My aunt will appreciate it.” 

“Do you have a big family?” 

“My family is crazy huge. I have so many cousins and aunts and uncles and second cousins and great aunts and uncles that I can’t keep track of them all.” Leon laughed sheepishly making Gia laugh too. The deep sound was contagious to her ears, Gia was fastly learning. 

“Do you have a big family, too?” He asked, watching the way her mouth spread with her laugh. 

“Not really,” she replied. “I have a younger sister, but she still lives with my mother north of here. My mother never had any siblings.” 

“And your father?” 

Gia bit her lip. “I haven’t seen or spoken to him in years.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” 

“That’s alright,” she assured him, smiling warmly. “you weren’t prying.” 

“I never met my father. I was raised by my grandparents.” 

“I’m sorry. That must have been difficult.” 

“I won’t say it wasn’t easy seeing the other kids in my neighborhood playing with their parents, but my grandma and grandpa were good to me growing up. I never wanted for anything.” 

“Me either. My mother was always working, but she made sure my sister and I had a roof over our heads, always. I can’t complain.” Not about that part of her life, at least. 

Leon smiled. “It seems we both have experience with hard working women. I’m forever grateful for the childhood I had.” 

Gia returned his smile. “Me too.” 

Sure, there were rough times, but at the end of every night Gia had food in her stomach and a warm bed to sleep in. 

“What is that you do for a living?” She asked. 

“I give boat tours at South Beach.” 

What an interesting job to have, Gia thought. It was certainly better than being a dry cleaner, though she didn’t dislike her job in the slightest. 

She could imagine what it would be like to get a tour of the city along the coast, sightseeing all the famous houses and tourist favorites, all the while having his romantic voice in her ear, explaining the histories and background of the coast, the water glittering with crystal reflections below them. 

“That’s very interesting. How did you get into that business?” 

“My uncle fixes boats for the company Island Queen. They were looking for a tour guide and I’d been searching for a job at the time.” 

“Had you been living in Miami for long?” 

“Eight years and counting. I certainly knew my way around.” 

“Why did you decide to move to Florida?” 

“I moved full time after I took a vacation here. I...got a woman pregnant.” 

Gia’s light brows lifted up. He was a father? That comment about making up for things made sense. If he was an alcoholic he had surely made mistakes that he wanted to fix. It wasn’t Gia’s place to pry into his business, but like they had said she wanted to know everything about this man. 

Of course, Gia wasn’t so sure she would be inclined to share everything about herself. At least not this past year... 

“That must have been...an adjustment,” she said for lack of what to say. “How old is your...” 

“Son.” Leon filled in. “And he just turned seven.” 

“And you moved here for him?” 

“I did. I wanted to do right by him, but then...” His deep voice trailed off and he looked up at her. There was pain in his eyes, and he seemed to be searching for something in hers. He must have found what he was looking for, because he continued vehemently, “my grandfather passed away. It messed me up for a while. I wasn’t there for him like I should have been. My grief turned me into a bad person. I didn’t handle it well, and it caused me to make some irreversible mistakes. He was five when I first met him.” 

Gia wasn’t sure what to say. 

What could she say? 

She had no children, and probably never would-despite what the doctors have said. 

Leon noticed that she was stuck for what to say next. But he appeared to be letting out a lot of things that were bothering him. So, Gia nodded her head to encourage him to continue. 

And he was going to, until Kylee appeared with their plates of steaming gnocchi. She set them down in front of them, then told them to enjoy their meal before hurrying off to the back of the restaurant. 

Gia glanced down at the food below her. It smelled divine, and since she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, her stomach caved in with hunger. She grabbed her fork and stabbed a creamy dumpling. Before she brought it to her mouth, she looked back up. 

Leon was watching her again, his own steaming plate forgotten, steam billowing up past his face. 

Her cheeks flamed once more. His dark eyes were alluring and warm, but there was worry in them too. 

“Have I made you uncomfortable again?” He asked, his accent thicker than it had been all night. 

“Not at all. I appreciate you sharing this with me. I know it isn’t easy to talk about the things that we regret.” 

“Thank you for your understanding. Like I said earlier, I will be honest with you. I figured since the conversation led us there, I might as well share about it. Ask me anything, Gia. I’m happy to answer your questions. The only thing I ask is you do the same. Can we agree on that?” 

He was so nice, polite, and honest. 

Gia really found it refreshing. She thought it was something she could get used to. After how this year has gone, Gia never wanted anything less than honesty in her life, even if it was brutal and wasn’t what she wanted to hear. 

“We agree.” Gia said, her voice soft, her eyes hopefully conveying the earnestness she felt. 

Even if Leon wasn’t a man she would see after tonight, she wanted openness between them for the time they had. 

She decided right then that she would tell him if the conversation demanded it. 

Even Gia wasn’t so confident in that thought. And she was the one who had it!

They smiled at each other warmly. Then, Leon broke the stare to ogle the plate of food between his elbows braced formally on the table. 

Gia could tell that his grandmother had taught him good manners. She wondered if that was the reason he was such an amiable man, why he owned his mistakes and spoke about them like they were just facts of his life, and he was giving them their proper due instead of wallowing around in them. 

Gia had the brief thought that she could take something from Leon after this night was over. 

“How did a woman like you end up working at a dry cleaners?” Leon inquired after he took his first bite. 

Gia followed suit and the delicious creme danced on her tongue. Her head tilted back slightly and a sound of pleasure escaped against her will. When she opened her eyes, Leon’s eyes were focused on her mouth where she still chewed. There was a hungry look in his hooded gaze, and Gia had a strong feeling that it wasn’t because he craved food. 

No, she felt he craved her. 

He licked his lips, his gaze never leaving her mouth. She swallowed, and his eyes followed that action as her throat went up then down. Up then down. Her heart began to race faster. It hadn’t stopped since she sat down at the table. 

“A woman like me?” She asked in a breathless tone. Gia felt desire like never before ignite inside of her. Leon was invoking so many different emotions in her, and this one was by far the strongest and the best. 

She took another bite of pasta while she waited for him to respond. 

Shaking his head, but still focused on her mouth, he replied, “a woman with your looks, the way you handled customers, I just wonder why you chose a job like that. Not that there’s anything wrong with dry cleaning. That isn’t what I’m saying.” He was quick to add. 

Gia understood. Dry cleaning was not her first choice of a job, but it was what was available at the time. Months ago she had it all, but a series of bad news had left her a jobless accountant, loaded with fresh medical bills, and in desperate need for a new apartment. 

She loved working at Al’s, though. There were always customers, even on the slow days, and Al was a great boss that was too sweet. He was forgetful sometimes, evidenced by this morning, and he could be crabby when his wife was giving him a hard time at home, but he was all around a good man that treated her well and paid her decently. Enough that she could save money-that went to her unpaid bills- with her rent controlled apartment and feed herself every night of the week. 

“I understand what you meant. And yes, being a dry cleaner wasn’t my dream job. I used to be an accountant.” 

“You’re good with numbers?” Leon asked as his gaze finally left her mouth. “What school did you go to?” 

Unsurprisingly, Gia wanted that heated gaze back on her mouth. The area was tingling with need. 

“I am great with numbers, but sadly that wasn’t enough to keep my job. I...got involved with a client and it ended badly. Very badly, in actuality.  When I ended it several months ago, so did our business. Unfortunately he was such an important client that it cost me my job.” And a bunch of other things, Gia added silently. “And I went to school at the University of Florida.” She added out loud. 

“That’s horrible,” Leon said, referring to the part about her job, assumed Gia. 

“It was. Anyway, I needed a job on short notice and Al’s was the first place I found. I was picking up my own clothes, you see.”

“Ah, customer loyalty. You applied for the job?” 

“I heard Al’s wife, Gina, talking about hiring extra help. I offered my services on the spot, and here we are.” 

“That was generous.” 

“Thank you. I don’t hate my job, by the way. I may not be making nearly as much money, but I realize that I don’t wake up every morning and dread going to work anymore.” Now she dreads other things.

“I think happiness is really important. They are always talking about finding happiness in AA.” 

“You go to meetings?” 

“Every Thursday night. I can be a prideful man, but even I am man enough to admit that without my program I wouldn’t be where I am today.” 

“That’s very inspiring.” 

“Thank you. I pay my dues.” 

“What’s your son like?” Gia asked, her mind wandering back to the young boy. 

She wondered what he looked like, if Leon’s genes were stronger than the woman he impregnated. She wondered if he had his eyes, or his smile, or his strong features. 

“He’s very particular, but is very excitable. His mother has him on a routine that he’s used to. He’s very...passionate about how he does things. His food can never touch, the only juice he enjoys is white grape, and only white grape. I made the mistake of bringing him purple grape once. I never will again,” he laughed. 

“He sounds like a character. What’s his name?” 

“He is the most important person in my life.  And his name is Tyler.” 

“Can you tell me more about him?” 

“Well, he really loves the zoo. His favorite animal is the giraffe. He always wants to feed them when I take him. His room is arranged by cubbies. He’s got them all on shelves in their own spot. Everything has a spot. I call him my little OCD buddy. I think he gets that from his mother. I’ve never been organized.”

Gia laughed along with him and they lapsed into a silence as they continued to eat. A few simple questions were exchanged for answers, but otherwise the silence was peaceful. 

“How are you enjoying the gnocchi?” Gia asked at one point. 

“Very delicious. I think I underestimated it.” 

Kylee came to check on them a couple of times and refilled Leon’s water. While they ate, Gia glanced around the restaurant at the other couples and groups eating, laughing their hearts out, and intimately talking under the romantic light. 

She could feel his eyes on her time and time again, and every time they would meet, it was electric. 

“Does he look like you?” 

“Yes yes, very much. He has my eyes and lips. He got my hair and the way I walk. He’s really like my mini-me. I wish I could have been there to see him as an infant.” 

“Do you have pictures, videos, anything?” 

“His mother was kind enough to give me a few of his pictures, and I’ve seen a couple of home videos. Still, it isn’t anything close to the real thing, I’ve realized.” 

“I’d imagine nothing is.” 

“Do you have any children?” 

“Not yet.” And probably never. 

“Do you want kids?” 

“I haven’t given it much thought, if I am honest.” 

That was a lie. 

She hadn’t let herself give it that much thought. She was still so young, she considered that she had time, but even then she was never sure if she could go through with it. Maybe it was her daddy issues, but Gia never wanted to go through the experience alone. And with everything that had happened to her, she never once thought a man would stick around once they found out. 

She found herself wondering if Leon would stick around if he found out the truth, but Gia didn’t allow herself to hope for a possibility like that. Leon may have wanted to get to know her now, but what would happen if he knew...

For some unfathomable reason, the thought saddened her to a maddening degree. Very rapidly she was intrigued by this man. Even knowing the unflattering parts about him, she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to bed him, to feel his hands on her, his warmth pressing into her. 

Gia couldn’t imagine he was bad at it. But her herself, now that was a different story. She had been told by her last lover that she was lackluster in the bedroom. Of course, that man-she never wanted to even think his name again, wanted to do things to her that she wasn’t comfortable doing, and after finding out the things he had done, she knew she would never want those things with him. 

She thought about doing those things with Leon, and suddenly they didn’t seem as disgusting as she once viewed them. Suddenly she was fantasizing about how it would be to do those things...

“My grandmother always taught me never to ask a woman her age, but...” 

“She was right; you should never ask a woman that.” Gia teased, but she wasn’t offended. 

Leon appeared to be about to apologize, so Gia was quick to clarify, “I’m only kidding. I’m twenty-six. And you?” 

Leon smiled, taking a sip of his water. “I will be thirty-one in September.” 

The age was not a put off to her at all. Four years and change was hardly anything to balk at, though she knew some women liked them even older. She was never one to like someone who was old enough to be her father-it just felt too weird, but she would admit that she had been attracted to men who were ten years her senior, and even sometimes more. 

“Are you a Virgo or a Libra?” 

“I’m a Virgo. September fifth.” 

“Me too! I’m September tenth, actually.” 

“If you ask my opinion, Virgo is the best horoscope and fall babies are the best. My son is a fall baby as well.” 

“I agree. I love cool weather and the holidays. Even being an adult, I still get excited for Christmas and Halloween.” 

“Not Thanksgiving?” 

“I don’t mind Thanksgiving.” 

“Thanksgiving was my favorite growing up. So much family would gather at my grandma’s house. All the kids would be outside playing baseball and my grandma would be in the kitchen for days cooking so much food it could feed the whole block. We actually did a couple of times. By then, everyone was calling her grandma.”  

“What was it like, to be surrounded by so many people?” 

Gia didn’t know if she could stomach that many people at one time. She wasn’t one to cover up the fact that she was more of a homebody than anything. She only had three friends to her name as it was, and she only visited her mother and sister a couple of times a year. 

“Wonderful. And hot. It always got so hot in the house. We’d be all sweaty from playing outside then come in the house for something to drink. We’d be shooed out soon enough with lemonade, but being surrounded by happy spirits was always good for the soul, or so my grandma would always say.” 

“Your grandma seems to be a smart woman.” 

“Thank you, but enough about me. I feel like I’ve been talking about myself non-stop.” 

“You haven’t; I’ve been talking too. I like hearing about your life. I...well I really like the sound of your voice.” Gia flushed, the words coming out in a vomited rush. She just couldn’t keep the words in, damn her. 

He heatedly watched her, eyeing her like he had been doing throughout their meal. “I like the sound of your voice, too.” 

“Really?” She asked, her eyes lighting up. She was almost embarrassed at how happy that compliment made her. 

How can I be shy about him calling me beautiful yet fine when he says he likes my voice? She asked herself. 

Maybe it was because she was more comfortable now, as opposed to half an hour ago. 

Wow. 

Had it really only been that long? 

“Yes, very. I’m liking a lot of what you have to offer, Gia.” 

“Really?” She asked again, stupidly. 

He smiled kindly. “Really. Now tell me about you. Where are you from?” 

“I’m from here, well from Florida. Ocala to be specific.” 

“I’ve never been.” 

“It’s not anything too special. Only in the last few years has it been expanding with more business and real estate. I only go a couple of times a year because my mother and sister live there.” 

Gia couldn’t help but continue to ask him questions even though he felt he was overshadowing her. In some ways, she liked that. Gia felt her life was so boring, if you didn’t count the lives she lives vicariously through on her Kindle every night. “Where all have you been in Florida?”

“I’ve only really kept my sights in Miami, except for one weekend in Fort Lauderdale.” He said, then smiled at her cheekily. “I see what you’re doing, Gia. Do you not want me to get to know you?” 

“It’s not that. It’s just...well, I’m not a very interesting person.” She could feel her face flushing the longer he stared at her in bewilderment. 

“I doubt that, Gia. Very much. Want to know why?” 

“Why?” She asked timidly. 

“Because I’m already very interested in you. I thought I made that clear already.” 

“I’m not fishing for compliments, if that’s what you’re thinking.” 

“I don’t think that; I think you need some reassurance is all.” Leon took a deep breath, as if preparing himself. Then, leaning forward, he grabbed both of her hands. “I think you are very beautiful. I feel a connection here, and I’m at a point in my life where I want to explore the things I feel connected to. I’ve calmed since I’ve been sober. I think...I think I’m ready to settle down.” 

With her. 

He didn’t say that part out loud, but Gia heard it echo in her head as if he did. 

They scared her, those two words. 

But the thing was, she wasn’t sure if it scared her because it was so soon for him to say those words, or because she wasn’t entirely dismayed by them. 

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” 

-Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays

...

Gia felt her nerves rattle as she watched the man from across the dimly lit restaurant. Sweat was forming at the base of her neck, her breathing was coming short with each inhale, and her palms were clammy as all get out.

God, what had I been thinking? she thought as she stared at the most beautiful man she had ever laid eyes on. It wasn’t even the first time she had seen him that day and yet, she was as nervous and anxious as ever.

The confidence she had earlier when she boldly invited the man out after a misunderstanding at the dry cleaning store in which she worked was nowhere to be found. The alluring man had walked in bright and early that morning, barely ten minutes after she flipped the open sign, expecting his pristine suit to be finished and tagged for pick up. But Al, the owner of the store, had been the one to ring up the order and hadn’t relayed the message to Gia. So when he walked in, confident and amiable and just plain mesmerizing, she hadn’t the first thing to say or give to him, and she had stared at him stupidly, openly, like a fish in an aquarium.

How embarrassing.

And even though the man was completely understanding about the whole ordeal, only stressing that he would need the suit no later than the next day, Gia felt an almost compelling need to make it up to the stranger. When he went to leave, she just blurted out an offer for her to take him to dinner that night in exchange for the lack of decent service.

He hadn’t even suggested taking his service elsewhere! He just offered to wait a little bit longer.

And even more shocking? He smiled at her when she asked him out, uncharacteristically, and he looked at her in a way she hadn’t been looked at in a long time as he agreed to her spontaneous offer.

Had I just been imagining it? She wondered as she slowly made her way to the table he sat at. She meant to be here before him, and she was in fact early for their...date? But there he was, waiting for her, dressed elegantly in a gray button down shirt that was rolled up to his elbows. He was sitting, therefore she couldn’t make out what his bottoms looked like. A silver watch was on his left wrist, hands folded over the menu, though he wasn’t so much as looking at it.

No, instead his eyes had found hers as she walked over nervously, wringing her hands at her sides.

Gia wanted to appear presentable for the evening even though she didn’t really own anything extravagant. She was wearing a plum colored blouse that she tucked into a black skirt that had a slight slit up the side.

She was embarrassed to admit that these were her interview clothes. Clothes that she wore to appear professional. They weren’t sexy or chic, but they made her seem more put together than she was. Gia couldn’t really afford anything else. Most of her money was dedicated to a devastating discovery that she uncovered seven months ago when she was donating blood at a LifeSouth blood bank.

The thought of that day made her want to pause in her strides. She was suddenly questioning why she was here. Why did I asked him out? she asked herself. What’s wrong with you?

The man watched her the whole time she walked to the table, and although her clothes were mediocre and made her look like she was about to condone someone for speaking too loud in the library, the look in his eyes was almost...indecent.

Gia wasn’t an overly curvy woman, but she had meat to work with and a nice pair of tits that men seemed to like to stare at as she handed them their freshly dry cleaned clothes.

Her strawberry blonde hair was down for the evening, cascading just past her shoulders in a silky wave. She wasn’t an expert on make-up, but tonight she tried her best, her green eyes lined with a brown eyeliner and eyelids polished with a pink eyeshadow. Her plump lips sported a light pink lip gloss that made her mouth appear shiny and smooth.

It felt like it had been forever when she finally made it to the table. The man immediately stood and came to her side of the table to pull out a chair for her. It was then that she noticed he was wearing dark wash jeans and polished black loafers. She glanced down at her own black flats and wished that she could have been the type of woman to wear heels, or at the very least own a pair.

With a force of bravery, Gia met the man’s eyes. He truly was the most attractive man she had ever seen in all of her twenty six years of life. His skin was dark, a deep brown that reminded her of the chocolate drizzle that came on the mocha frappes from McDonald’s. His lips were very full on the top and bottom and smooth and slightly pink, the bottom plumping out past the top ever so slightly. His eyes were an even deeper brown that held such a gentle motion, yet somehow charged with something she was scared to name.

Because surely that look couldn’t be for her...right?

Only, he was looking right into her eyes, as if nothing else in the room had registered to him but her.

She sat down in the velvety chair and used her thighs to scoot her legs under the table. He helped her and for some reason it made her blush.

He’s such a gentleman.

“Thank you.” She said quietly, her voice laced with shyness.

He smiled a brilliantly white and wide smile that had her heart leaping in her chest. She really couldn’t get over how handsome he was. And polite.

So polite.

“It’s my pleasure.” He replied, and the southern twang of his voice washed over her like silk sheets.

She thought his accent sounded like something from Louisiana, but she couldn’t be too sure. She also didn’t want to assume. A lot of people get offended if you guess their origin wrong. Gia was not so inclined to ask.

And yet, she found herself really wanting to.

Perhaps she should have been asking what his name was first, she thought in mortification. How could she ask someone out without evening knowing their first name?

Even though the thought flitted across her mind, when Gia spoke the words that came out were, “If you don’t mind me asking...where are you from? I can’t confidently place your accent.”

The man smiled again at her and scooted his legs under the table. She felt his knees graze her own and a shock of pleasure filled her core. She had to fight to keep in the rough gasp that wanted to escape. “Hmm. I’ll let you guess first.”

Gia bit her lip, suddenly even more nervous under the penetration of his stare. He was watching her so intently, his eyes flicking over every inch of her face that she felt her cheeks flame. She wasn’t wearing blush so she knew it was obvious to him that she was blushing for him.

His grin widened as he waited for her to respond.

“Louisiana?” She guessed, her voice still timidly soft. It frustrated her and yet she couldn’t find the confidence to raise it. He made her so nervous.

“You’d be correct, ma’am.”

Her green eyes widened in delight. “Really?”

“Yup. Born and raised in southern Louisiana.”

“Can you speak Creole?” She wondered, the words spilling before she could stop them.

“Oui.” He said, “Well, a little bit. Not so much now that I don’t speak it as much. I was fluent once.”

“That’s impressive.”

“Do you speak another language besides English?”

“No. I mean, I know a little bit of Spanish, but nothing grand. Just a few simple phrases.”

The man nodded, seeming to absorb her words, trivial as they were, and he seemed about to say something else when a waitress appeared out of nowhere, startling Gia.

“Good evening. My name is Kylee and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

Gia hadn’t even looked at the menu to see the drink selection. Swiftly, she picked up the menu and did a quick scan of the list of beverages.

“Would you like some wine?” She heard the man ask. She peered over her menu at him and looked at his questioning gaze.

“No thank you. I actually don’t drink.” At least not anymore since she got on a certain medication. Swallowing down sudden nerves, she added, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I don’t drink either. Recovering alcoholic, actually.”

The way he said, so matter of factly and blatantly in front of Kylee, impressed Gia. And the fact that he would have been willing to be in discomfort while she indulged showed her the type of character he was.

“I’ll just have a water, no lemon please.”

“Same.”

“Be right back with those while you two look over the menu.” Looking mildly uncomfortable, Kylee plastered a fake smile and hurried away from the table.

The two were left in silence. Gia couldn’t decide if it was awkward or not. There was tension, but she couldn’t tell the sort of tension it was.

“So...you’re a recovering alcoholic? How long have you been sober?” She asked. It was a bold question for her to ask, but he had already opened the box. And the way he spoke about it made her think he wouldn’t mind her prying.

Her instincts were right as he smiled and responded with, “Two years and five months in counting.”

“Congratulations.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not something I care to celebrate. I see it as taking care of myself, doing what’s right for my health. I don’t view it as an achievement, because really, I got to that state myself and had to pull myself out of it. I’ve had a lot to make up for the past two and a half years. I’m still making up for those mistakes, actually.”

“But you had the strength to overcome your disease. I’d think that’s something to celebrate.”

He looked at her more intently then, his eyes more curious and questioning. “I can’t believe I’m telling this to a stranger...and I just realized that I don’t know your name.”

Gia smiled shyly. “My name is Gia.”

“Gia,” he said, echoing the name in an almost affectionate tone. “Gorgeous name, that.”

She blushed. “Thank you.”

“Aren’t you going to ask my name?”

She blushed harder. “Sorry. What’s your name?”

“Leon.”

“I like that name; I think it suits you.”

“How?” he laughed.

“I don’t know,” Gia said honestly. “It just does.”

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” He asked out of left field, taking her off guard.

Her lips parted, tongue dry at the compliment. She didn’t really know what to say and luckily Kylee returned with two waters in hand at that exact moment.

As soon as the water was in front of her, Gia took a sip. The icy water cooled down her throat and moistened her tongue. She felt out of her element here, even though Leon had only made a simple inquiry that sounded more like a statement than anything. It had been so long since Gia had been on a date, and she kept it that way for obvious reasons.

That, and the fact that it had been months since a man showed interest in her at all.

“Have you had a chance to decide what to order?” Kylee asked.

The menu was still between her two hands, but Gia hadn’t so much as glanced at it since Kylee left the table.

“Um...” She was still reeling from his statement and couldn’t think properly.

Get a grip for fucks sake, she berated herself. For God’s sake it hasn’t been that long, has it?

“I think we need a few moments,” Leon said swiftly.

Kylee nodded politely and left.

“I’m sorry,” Gia said once she was out of earshot. “I have to admit that I’m really nervous right now.”

Leon looked at her warmly. “Please stop apologizing. It’s okay to be nervous. I am too, if I’m honest.”

“You are?” She asked in wonder. He seemed so relaxed and composed. Confident in the way he watched her.

“Very,” he nodded. “My heart is beating a mile a minute.”

“Really?” Her own heart skipped a beat at the thought.

“Oh yes. I’ve never had such an immediate reaction to a woman before.”

“Really?”

He laughed. “Really. I’ve made it a rule for myself to be honest one hundred percent of the time. I can assure you that I will never lie to you.”

That was the most refreshing sentence in the world to Gia. She had been lied to for months and it had resulted in something life changing. She had her fill of liars.

“That is so refreshing,” she admitted, immediately wanting to take the words back.

“May I ask why?” Leon asked.

Gosh, he is so polite.

“I...” Gia’s lips shut like a flytrap. There was a not so subtle panic building in her chest. It felt as if a volcano was about to abrupt in her lungs.

Sensing her discomfort, Leon reached a hand across the table and encircled her wrist with a gentle yet strong hand. The pads of his fingers were rough against her soft skin. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.”

The softness in his voice made her whole body tingle, soothing her nerves almost instantaneously.

“Thank you. I’m sor...It’s a sore spot.”

“I understand. There is time for you to tell me.”

Once again, the man shocked her. “There is?”

“Gia,” Leon began, voice tender-laced and oh so sweet. “I feel like you’re someone worth getting to know. Maybe I’m moving fast here, but I can’t seem to help myself. You’re so...”

“I’m so what?” Gia inquired, a lump in her throat.

“Kind,” Leon continued. “Shy, tender, timid, lovely, exquisite. I can tell all these things simply watching you. I feel like I can read you like an open book. Every emotion I see in your face is so easily written in the lines of your eyes. I can’t really explain it; I think I need to know you.”

Gia’s eyes were wide as teacups, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. The words were spoken so adamantly, so carefully, that she felt overwhelmed. No man had ever spoken to her this way. And the crazy thing was, he seemed to mean what he said. His dark irises were earnest and wide on her own.

This man, someone she hadn’t even known for a whole day, was speaking so sweetly to her and it felt as if it was more significant than anything she’d ever experienced. She couldn’t explain the thoughts, just that it felt that way.

“Have I made you uncomfortable?” Leon asked when she remained in her stunned stupor.

Blinking rapidly, Gia found her voice. “Not at all. The opposite, if I am honest. I feel the same way. I can’t explain why I asked you out earlier. I felt compelled to. And not just as an apology for what happened at Al’s. Though I am sorry about that.” She smiled as his nervous expression softened.

“It’s already forgiven,” He released her wrist and leaned back to his side of the table, grabbing his own menu. “I’m glad that we’re on the same page.”

“Me too.” Though as she said the words, she wasn’t so sure. How can I get to know someone that I ultimately can’t be with? she asked herself.

Leon seemed to be in a good spirit as he ran his eyes over the menu. “Do you see anything appealing?”

Gia still hadn’t looked at the menu. Instead, her green eyes had been cataloguing the features of Leon’s face. The dimple in his chin. The patch of pink on his lower lip contrasted against the light brown of the rest of it. The protruding adam’s apple of his thick throat. The dark patch of hair that peeked out of the undone button of his shirt at the top.

Breaking out of her trance when Leon glanced up at her and smiled knowingly, she quickly peered down at the menu.

“I’ve never tried gnocchi.” She said at the first thing that stood out to her.

She peered back up at Leon, unable to help herself. He was already staring back at her, his expression observant, scrutinizing.

“Neither have I,” he replied. “but I personally prefer something with more spice.”

“Is that the Louisiana in you?”

They smiled at each other. It was the first smile of the night that Gia actually showed her teeth and Leon focused on her mouth as she spread her lips.

“You have a beautiful smile,” he said, “but I suppose that is the Louisiana in me. People don’t go sparingly on spices. To me, there is nothing better than authentic soul food.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever tried real soul food.” Gia said, still blushing from his former comment.

It was comical how wide Leon’s eyes opened in shock. It was such a youthful expression that Gia couldn’t help but giggle. His expression straightened at the sound, but he still appeared noticeably confused.

“There is nothing like it,” he said convincingly. “My grandma makes the best crawfish known to anybody. One taste and you’ll be ruined for life.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“Afraid not. I can’t really trust that unless you get a taste for yourself.”

Gia giggled again, making his eyes light up once more. “I’d gladly try it if I had the chance.”

Kylee returned to their table as he began to respond.

“Have you decided what you’d like to order?”

Gia peered back down at the menu. “Um, I think I’ll have the gnocchi.”

“Make that two.”

Kylee jotted down their orders then scurried off with a quick, “coming right up.”

“I thought you preferred food with more spice?” She asked curiously.

“I guess there is always time to try something new.”

Gia got the impression that he was talking about more than the gnocchi.

She wasn’t brave enough to bring attention to her suspicions, so instead she sought a change of topic.