I don't know where to go.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know who to call.

I don't know why I can't figure it out.

I don't know what say.

I don't know who to blame.

I just want things to be different.

But I don't know how.

      The most evil place I can think of is being seated in a restaurant near the bathroom.  When one of the wait staff says, "follow me," and starts heading to a table or booth near a bathroom, I speak up fast.  "Is there another table or booth available?"

       I can be extremely hungry, but seeing or hearing the bathroom door open and close shuts down my appetite.  I imagine bathroom odors wafting over my food and adding an extra flavor I don't want to taste.  That little pony wall that separates my table from the bathroom is no protection because my mind conjures up all types of evil escaping when each customer goes in and out and walks past me.  So, I beg of you, please don't seat me next to the bathroom.  I can't endure it.  I'll wait for the next available table as long as it's not next to the table that is near the bathroom.

Why are you calling me? 

What is wrong with you? 

I told you, it's over! 

You cheated and I'm done. 

Go call that other chick. 

          There were three white suitcases opened on the floor in the living room when we woke up that morning. Momma was on the phone. She moved the phone away from her mouth for a moment to say that she was talking to grandma in Miami. We yelled hellos and I love yous so that we could be heard through the phone. Once Momma hung up, she turned to us to say that we were leaving at noon to fly to Miami. Each of us girls had a white suitcase of our own. Momma told us to put all of our underwear in the suitcase. We also had to pick out our favorite shorts, t-shirts, and sandals. So, we ran into the room and excitedly pulled open drawers and closet doors to find the clothes we loved most to wear in Miami. What a mess we made. Some of the clothes that didn't make the cut were hanging out of drawers or falling off hangers. Momma said we didn't have to clean the room right now.

           We returned to the living room and began piling clothes on top of the opened suitcases. Along the way, Momma sorted, folded, and placed our selections neatly inside our suitcases. She wiped down our shoes so that they wouldn't dirty our clothes. Once the three white suitcases were packed, each of us sat on our suitcases so she could close them tight. Click, Click, Click, all closed. She stood each one of them on end. Momma said we needed to get dress before we ate breakfast. We usually brushed our teeth and ate breakfast first, but this morning was different. When one of us asked if we could give Daddy a call to see when he coming home to pack, Momma explained that she already talked with him and that he will take a later flight to Miami. We were so excited.

           All three of us ran into our small bathroom. While one of us was taking a shower, another was brushing her teeth or combing her hair. We had never gotten dressed so fast. Momma was already dressed in a pair of jeans and a white button-down shirt. Once all of us were ready, Momma poured cereal and milk for us in bowls. We chatted away about how much we loved Miami and couldn't wait to see Grandma and our cousins, calling some of them by name. When we finished eating our cereal, Momma told us to place the bowls in the sink. We were surprised when she said we didn't have to wash them. She told us to grab one favorite book or toy for the trip and that we were responsible for keeping up with them. We rummaged through the toy box and took out one thing we loved. Momma put her handbag on her shoulder, opened the door, and carried out two suitcases and then reached back for the last one. Momma locked the door.

           Just then our neighbor appeared with tears in her eyes and a brown suitcase. She handed it to Momma. They exchanged some words and a long hug. Momma told her that she would call her later. The neighbor grabbed two of the white suitcases and started down the stairs. Momma told us to walk ahead of her as she carried the last white suitcase and the brown suitcase. The taxi cab driver placed the suitcases in the trunk. The neighbor hugged us and gave each of us a kiss. Momma told us to sit in the back seat of the taxi; she sat in front. As the taxi pulled away from the curb, we waved goodbye to our neighbor. We were leaving New York City and my father for good, but we didn't know it.

Mom: "So, whatcha been doin' ?"

Me:  "Nothing."

Mom:  "Okay, I just haven't heard from you."

Me:  "I know.  I have nothing to talk about."

Mom: "Nothing, huh?"

Me:  "Nope."

Mom: "Okay, I'll call you later."

Me: "Okay."

Great is thy faithfulness

Great is thy faithfulness

Morning by morning, new mercies I see

All I have needed 

Thy hand hath provided

Great is thy faithfulness

Lord unto me

This is my favorite hymn.  It was sung at my wedding, and want it sung at my funeral. I just believe that God is so faithful even though I don't deserve it.  He makes the sun rise so that I may have another chance at being successful with life, love, work, and play.  I believe he does that for everybody since He is not a respecter of person.  I just feel blessed because He provides new mercies, again, because I don't deserve them.

Didn't your mama teach you to knock first?

Don't just walk up in here without knocking first.

Otherwise, I'm gonna send you right back outside to knock first.