I am brave, bold, balanced & beautiful.

I am strong, smart & talented.

I am enough.

I love you.

It's not as if I want want it.

Or to say that I don't deserve it.

I do.

I want it completely.

I want it despite the unforeseen challenges that comes with it.

despite not understanding the cost.

despite not knowing it's affects will have on me.

and my family.

I want it while knowing what it opens up.

The opportunties it creates.

The ways it allows me to help others.

Can you really want something

and fear it at once?

Can you truely believe its yours

if you fear it too?

Maybe.

Maybe this fear is nothing more than a symptom.

A symptom of stepping out of my comfort zone,

and towards the version of myself

that is aching to be set free.

So I step forward.

each day taking baby steps.

through the uncomfortableness.

through the doubt.

through the fear.

stepping closer to who I am.

who I am

when I get there.

For weeks it was all up in the air.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

Would they say you would have to leave us?

Would we know with enough notice to let the answer sit in?

Would we be able to make the most of our time together?

As a couple.

As a family.

To feel like we enjoyed the days before we said GOODBYE.

I wish it felt like we had.

I wish time didn't feel like it only sped up.

I wish the have to's didn't always get in the way.

I wish I felt like we made the most of those days.

But I don't know.

Did we?

Do you see it that way?

And now that your gone.

Now that your there.

Everything's different.

So many places do we need to grow.

So many things that we need to change.

But I know we can do it.

I choose to believe.

I TRUST that even though I don't see all the reasons.

Even though right now I don't completely understand.

We are here for a reason.

While it hurts to be here.

It doesn't hurt as much as you being gone.

As much as missing you.

And it only makes me want better for us more.

We deserve it.

We need it.

Our boys need it.

They deserve it too.

We love each other

And in the end that's all that really matters.

#anindividual

Ode to a story.

Whether it's yours or mine.

Whether it's a piece of your life.

Or something made up in your mind.

Ode to a story.

that you read up late in your bed.

where you go to far way places

in the depths of your head.

Ode to a story.

that you can't put down.

that you hurry to the ending.

In hopes it turns around.

Ode to a story

that is a fight against all odds.

that tells of a journey

that ends in tears and applause.

Ode to a story,

that helps you to grow.

that opens, uncovers

the pieces you needed to know.

Ode to a story.

that fills up your heart

with love and of hope

to find your own sweetheart.

Ode to a story.

of mystery and crime.

where the day is saved,

just in the knick of time.

Ode to a story.

of knights brave and true,

of kingdoms, and swords,

and dragons that flew.

Ode to a story.

read just before bed,

with tucked in little children,

and kisses on heads.

Ode to a story,

that sing a song,

that get stuck in your head,

all day long.

Ode to a story

and to poetry too.

because poems are stories

and I just proved it to you.