Secrets I Don’t Want
My heart can not tell a lie
I will say this
But my mind
Can spin a tale
Faster than you can blink
Keeping everything
Deep inside
Trapped
For no reason.
One thing
In particular
Is kept deeply hidden
Beneath layers and layers of
Fluff
A giant concealed truth
Covered in misleading lies
And saying so
I must bare my heart
So my mind can't lie to you.
Hate
Is such a strong word
For one to use
About themselves
But here we are.
The need to hide the truth
Is deep
Primal
I can't let you
Know me
Letting you see me
In any capacity
That leaves me open
Is death
But
That's what I wanted
Right.
Empty Motivation
Living on an empty tank
Filled with the residue
Of dreams once followed
Rusted by the corrosion of
Spite
What keeps this
Impractical method working
Seems to be
Drops of vengeance
That fall in
Now and again
Along with random bouts of
Hope
That trickle through
Realistically
This method seems way too
Ineffective to work
But
That doesn't stop me
From not caring
And instead letting
Trivial thoughts
Power me.
Impulse
Funny
How the things
I want to do in life
Would kill me
I want to see what would happen
If I jumped off a building
What would happen first
Would I feel anything
I'll never know
Impulsive
Is what I call it
Impulsive thoughts to do
Outrageous things
I could go into more detail
But
Gore isn't really my style
Caller ID
The phone knows something
That I don't
What I did?
Up for discussion
What I'll tell?
Nothing
Everything you need to know
Is here
And the only other person that knows
Is the phone
The side kick
The 'innocent' passerby
Knows what it did.
The caller
Different each time
The only thing for certain
Is the phone.
Every morning the same thing
"I know what you did!"
And every morning I hang up
I don't care what you
Know
But please
Would you
Lose my number
Because I'm tired of my phone
Knowing more than me.
Loss of Definition
Emotions
Without definitions
Combine.
Days
Turn to weeks
And nothing has changed.
Stages of grief
Being lost onto myself
All I feel is loss
Because no other word
Conveys so much
Desperation
For everything
To go back
Again.
Cycles doomed to be repeated
Anger
Sadness
Emptiness
All feeling the same to me.
I haven't forgotten
What you meant to me
But instead of you
I now have
Emotions.
Just a Feeling
Have you ever experienced something
That you knew
Would change your life
Something like a conversation
That suddenly opens your eyes
Or a person that fills you with
Inspiration
With burning fury
To do somehting
To show that what happened here
Wasn't for nothing
To contribute
To something you can only explain in abstract
Because its not some
Cause or
Righteous being you're trying to live up to
It's a feeling
That burns in your chest
That screams
THIS!
This is why!
This is why you need to create
To show the world what you can do
To show it you can create
Beautiful things
Ridiculous things
Magical things
For the sake of just
Doing it
That feeling deep in the pit in your stomach
That fury that fuels you to continue
For others it's hope
For some it's wonder
And for me it's spite
But whatever it is
Never
Let
It
Go
Because when you do
You'll quickly learn
How hard it is to light a used match