I’ve lived my life so far

By waiting for what comes to me

I’m not unhappy with the way I am right now

But things are going to change

I’m going to make things happen in my life

I'm not gonna wait for things to magically come my way

Others have also held the metaphorical wheel of my life for me

Deciding where I would go

They can drive me in the right direction, or not

And lately they haven’t

But I’ve had control at certain points,

And “lately, I am beginning to find

That when I drive myself, my light is found”

Inspired by "Drive" by Incubus

It’s been awhile since I’ve written,

But here I go:

Life gets in the way of things

My life is:

Sports

School

Relationships;

Romantic and Friendly

They’re hard to balance together

I don’t have time to myself anymore

And it feels like there is always something

Every day

Non-stop

Immediately traveling from one thing to the next

With no time to relax

Work keeps getting piled on top of me

My body aches from the constant training and long games

And right as my body is about to heal

There’s another game

Or another practice

Or another project

There isn’t enough time to do everything

My body can’t take it much longer…

My mind can’t take it much longer

Something must go,

Because I can’t take it anymore.

And it feels

And it feels like

Heaven's so close to me*

And it stings

Yeah, it stings now

The world has grown cold

Now that you've gone away

*Heaven's so far away

I don't understand why people are this way.

They can be

Kind, caring, helpful, intelligent, funny, dedicated, loyal, trustworthy, loving.

At the same time, they can also be

Awful, rude, unfaithful, hurtful, uncommitted, arrogant, irrational, hateful.

I can say that I know both,

But still do not understand what makes them that way.

What makes them terrible?

What makes them amazing?

This, I do not understand.

Break away

Sometimes, that's what we have to do.

Break away from everyone

Break away from everything

Break away from the ones that hate you

Break away from the ones that are toxic

Break away from the ones that do nothing but break you down

The toxicity will seep into you if you don't,

Eat you from the inside,

Until you’re nothing.

With every poison, there is an antidote,

But you must find it

To rid the toxicity.

Break away from the toxic ones,

Find your antidote,

Find your paradise.

We all deserve to to be free

To find the antitoxin,

To break away.

As I'm melting away,

Who will catch me?

Who will keep me together?

It’s like nobody cares anymore

Hear the cries of people around you

Why can't you hear them?

See the pain and agony on their face

Why can't you see them?

You know the pain they are suffering

Why won’t you help them?

Don’t fall

Don't jump

Don't leave me

I can help you

I can save you

You can keep me from melting

You can be the solution

Someone, save me from falling away

From taking the leap,

From melting away

Someone please,

Hear me

Help me

Stop me

Catch me

Save me.

Call me a sinner

Call me a priest

Call me the worst

Call me a beast

Call me a lord

Call me so sweet

Call me a lover

Call me a cheat

You can't change me

No matter what you do

You can try to hurt me

You'll be sorry you do

Call me your savior

Call me your killer

Call me your one and only

Call me the destroyer

I am what you make me

So be weary not

To make me be

What you do not

I am me

I won’t change

I will never

Rearrange

We were the best of friends.

We were.

But no longer.

Time has separated us. We are very different from one another, but always were. Now however, we are not able to cross that gap. It’s been three years since I've had a real conversation with you. You have changed so much and so have I. I do not think that we can ever go back to the way that things were.

Not since you’ve confessed.

It has changed our entire dynamic and I wish it hadn’t. I know you've thought of me like this for a long time, but now I hope that you can move on and forget about me.

I’ve caused you too much suffering and I want you to find that someone who will make you fall in love. The someone who will be there for you. Someone who you have more in common with. Someone that you can have a real conversation with.

Go out there and find someone else.

You deserve someone who understands you.

We all do, and that someone for you, is not me.

Till we meet again,

JPerry

I will always be there.

Good times,

Bad times,

I will be there.

The happiest moment of your life,

The roughest time of your life.

I will be there,

Either to rejoice with you,

Or to comfort you.

The sky could fall,

The world could crumble around us,

And I will be there,

For you.

I will never be the one to say goodbye,

I will be the one to stay,

Through good and bad,

Through Heaven, or Hell.

I will be there,

Forever.

The more I listen to your words,

The more in love I fall.

The more I listen to your words,

The more I long for you.

It's an indescribable feeling,

But I crave it.

Every second without you,

Is painful.

Every second we're together,

Is heavenly.

Others may not understand,

They may be jealous,

They may hate us,

But it doesn't matter.

Because,

The more I listen to your words.

The happier I become.