Broken
I am broke
I have cracks along my edges
Shattered pieces lay beside me
Pleading to be put back
I am broke
I have cracks along my edges
There is a hole where my heart
Once was
I am broke
I have cracks along my edges
I have chipped memories
Cascading down my spine
I am broke
The cracks along my edges
Are the only things,
Holding me together
The Future
It's time.
I'm afraid,
But I'm ready.
I know what's coming,
But at the same time,
I am absolutely clueless.
All I know
Is that there are 9 people
Who need to see less of each other,
And more of the rest of the world.
We are so wrapped up
In ourselves
In each other
In the lives that we are living.
But we keep forgetting
That in a few days
We will be leaving
These lives behind.
I still love them.
The 9 of them
Hold me together
Keep me going.
But there are places to go.
People to see.
First impressions to make.
Dreams to chase.
I want you by my side,
But there is more to your lives than me.
And there is more to my life than you.
Forgetting Something
Recently
I've been feeling
Like I'm forgetting something.
Something I should be holding.
Something I should be wearing.
I couldn't figure it out.
Until now.
The school year is coming to a close.
And everyday my anxiety grows
There is something missing
That was there before.
I now that summer is approaching
My schedule is less cluttered
And my life is more stress free.
Is the weight of the baggage of stress,
The thing that I'm forgetting?
An invisible weight on my shoulders
That now has been lifted?
Choices
If you ask me
How I stay happy
I will always tell you this.
Lose yourself.
It's the best feeling in the world.
Get lost.
Get caught up.
It doesn't matter what it is.
An activity
An art
A job
A career
Another person
A romance
A family
People who are happy
Build their lives
Based on things they get caught up in.
They build their lives off of all of the things that they give their all to.
It's your life, and it's your choice.
But this thing that you are caught up on
This thing that is making you sad,
Are you going to let it become your whole life?
People get caught up in happiness.
And People get caught up in sadness.
It's your life.
Make your choice.
Tired
I don't know
Why do they blame students
For the stress pushed on top of them.
I'm tired of it.
I'm tired of being too tired.
Too tired to stay awake in class.
Too tired to have fun.
Too tired to live.
Is it our fault?
Is it our fault
If we fall asleep
While studying
Because we are tired
From 8 hours of class
From 6 hours of practice.
From a two day tournament.
I'm sorry I fell asleep while
Doing your stupid assignment
I'm sorry I failed the test.
I fell asleep with the text books
Open in my lap.
I'm sorry I'm so exhausted.
I'm sorry that everything that I do
Isn't enough for you.
I'm sorry that I'm not sorry at all.
Belt
It all started
When I got my
Pretty little belt.
I had asked for a
New one, for my other
Had been worn through.
I wore my new belt on the
5th loosest setting
Because that was comforting.
But then I saw
The other girls could wear their belts
On the first, most tight belt size.
They were comfortable.
5th wasn't good enough for me anymore.
The tighter I was able to make the belt
The happier I was.
So I kept doing what I was doing.
Today
I put on my belt.
To the first, tightest setting.
I was comfortable in the belt.
I was not comfortable in my own skin anymore though.
Maybe it's time for a smaller belt.
What you think
Tell me the truth.
I'm ready to hear it.
I know that before
I only wanted to hear lies.
Because lies are pretty.
Tell me what you think of me.
I know what I think of me
And what others think
Can't be much better.
Just lay it all out on the table.
Tell me what they whisper about me
Behind me back
I want to know.
I can handle it.
I need to know.
Tell me the things they say
At the parties I wasn't invited to.
Tell me me flaws
The knows I might know
The ones I might not.
You won't hurt me.
I promise.
I will be okay
No matter what
They may have said.
Tell me what they think of me.
Tell me what you think of me.
Don't tell me I'm beautiful.
Don't tell me they think so too.
I know that that's not true.
Please don't lie to me.
I have been trying
To get it out of you for years.
I just want to know.
Please.
Tell me what you think.