Twilight, and the ocean breaks

Over my toes, my pale white toes,

Digging into the sopping sand,

Smooth against my wrinkled skin.

The saltwater gathers my tears,

Carries them out and out

To the ends of the earth,

Places human eyes have never seen.

I cradle my head on my arms,

My arms that shiver in the ocean breeze,

The breeze that whispers at my defenses

And cools me to my bones.

The moon comes out to smile,

Through my swollen eyes I cannot see

The smile nor the light reflected from its teeth.

I am alone in the open, facing eternity.

At three weeks old, I suckled at my mother's teat.  I romped with my brothers and chased after my sisters, tail wagging joyously.  At six weeks, I was taken from them and given to you.  I missed them a bit at first, but I fell in love with you.  I followed you around, chewing on things when you wouldn't give me the attention I wanted.  When I was two years old, you had a baby.  It took up a lot of your time, so I was sent outside to play by myself all day.  Five years old and you left us with a babysitter.  You were only to be gone a couple of hours, but someone thought the house was empty and took a chance.  The babysitter was crying with your child while the strangers ransacked the house.  I waited for an opportune moment and when they looked away, I went for the stranger's arm.  I don't regret it.  It was a good five years with you, even if that was all I had.

I was beautiful, so beautiful; a divine creature, exquisite to a fault.

My name reflected my splendor:  "Lucifer", for the morning star.  If mortals had beheld my beauty, surely they would have been struck blind.  All manner of men would have offered their hearts and souls to me, I knew, struck dumb with awe by a single word.

To be certain, I was prideful.  To this day, I will never know why my pride was such a sin to the one who made me so deserving of that pride.

I stood by His side in the beginning of all days, sitting by His feet and basking in the light.  My wings were the white of alabaster and as tall as two men.  With them, I shaded His throne.  My position was one of glory, as I deserved.  No other was so exalted as I, short of the being I guarded.  I was deserving of all the glory existing in the heavens.  My blood boiled continuously at the thought that I stood second, my teeth grinding in my jaw.  I stood in the brightest of lights and yet I, whose name was "Star", was not that light.  It was not enough.

I stood and lowered my wings, facing the Creator.

"I am the one deserving of the throne above the clouds.  I will stand in the heavens as the Most High, and you will be my guard."  The words fell.  My voice did not waver.

The Creator stood.  With all the fury of the Most Divine Being, I was cast to the ground.  My brother, Michael, stood over me, his face ashen with hurt.

"Lucifer," he spoke, sorrow in his voice.  "I cannot let you have what you wish."

I swept to my feet as the floor turned black underneath me and began to crackle under my weight.  My eyes, red with fury, were turned to Him. "I will be God!" I thundered.  I raised my hands to Him.  Michael intercepted me, his spear deftly finding my center.  I screamed as the ground crumbled below my feet, and the last thing I heard was His sorrowful murmur: "You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created perfect, but are no longer, for iniquity was found in you."

And so, Lucifer became Satan.

Home I made in the darkness below.  I no longer basked in the light.  My wings were stained black with my blood and shed feathers with each step.  I watched the creation of the world not from my perch beside the throne above the clouds, but from the pit of sin below.  I watched His first "humans".  I saw the flaw in their design.  I went to the woman and befriended her.  A single tree He had forbidden to them.  I disguised my form to carry out my sin.  "That tree is not evil," I said to the woman. "On the contrary!  You will gain the position of glory reserved for the greatest in the heavens.  You will have knowledge incomparable to any other."  Lesser being as she was, the woman did not question my words.  She ate of the fruit and eagerly shared it with her mate.  As I was cast from the heavens, so too were they cast out from paradise.  But my revenge was far from complete.  The Lord did not guard His humans.  They were as ripe for the picking as the forbidden fruit, and I had already been cursed.

I whispered violence towards self in the ears of children.  "Look at yourself.  Fat.  Stupid.  Unlovable.  Living hurts; you are fragile, and can easily end your suffering."

I went to men in their dreams, showing them my naked human form.  "Your wife is old and ugly," I whispered, fingers tracing their lips as they slipped into desire.  "You could take another young beauty right now.  They are waiting outside.  Marriage is no more than ink on paper."

I inspired hatred in one's neighbor.  "How dare he speak to you in that way!  Hate... hate!  Your hands are strong!  He deserves to feel your wrath!"

I sowed discord between mother and child, inciting murder of the most innocent. "It is an inconvenience, a parasite that feeds on your strength.  Strangle it in the womb and you will not have to even see it.  It need not be human to you, and you can live your life free and easy."

I turned pure souls black to create my company in the pit.  The hatred I inspired caused wrath and murder.  The desire I sowed caused lies and theft, adultery, and lust.  Pride was my greatest ally; I could inflate egos and cause all of the above.  I favored usurpers and supported them with all of my being.  They could be led to genocide, tyranny, and other evils that each carved a new mark in the Creator's heart.  The more darkness I brought upon a soul, the closer they would be to me upon joining me in my pit of filth and despair.  They would crawl in the muck at my feet as I imagined someday stifling His light.  I would grow happier the more that joined me in hopeless and eternal suffering.

The Lord, despite His pain at my hand, turned a blind eye to the suffering I brought.  The "gift" that the humans and I shared proved to be both of our undoing.  The gift of choice brought misery in every form.  It was the greatest gift, free will, that leads us all to the greatest suffering.

I got a call as I was leaving school.  It was my mother with news I did not wish to hear.

She'd just baked cookies, although I was trying to diet.

I hurried home.  At the side of the road was a patch of ice I did not see.

My car missed it completely.

As I parked my car and headed towards the front door, I slipped on the walkway.  For a moment my life flashed before my eyes.

I caught my balance.

I went inside expectantly, a grin plastered on my face.  It had been a long time since I'd last had my mother's freshly baked cookies.

But my brother had already eaten them, causing my solemn tone.

Young. Old. Thin. Fat.

Black. White. Yellow. Brown.

Rich. Poor. Married. Single.

Woman. Man. In between.

We all bleed red, we all will die.

United as dust against the sky.

     Your hands were shaking.  Your voice trembled.  I saw the fear in your face.  I watched from behind, unable to offer aid.  I wanted to reach out.  I wanted to speak up.  I wanted to jump to my feet and pull you out of that room.

     They treated you like a criminal, but I couldn't say a word.  How could I?  Who would trust the word of a child?  I could have cried.  I could have climbed a mountain and screamed to the world that you were innocent.  What would it have done?  These people were determined.  They needed a name to put in the papers.  They needed a body to put behind bars.  I'm sorry, daddy.  I wasn't brave.  You were the unlucky soul, and I was the coward who could not stand against fate.

Betwixt the green of envy and deep indigo of lust,

Across alluring gluttony in flaxen ribbons trussed,

Just below the rolling red of wrath and violet pride,

Lying ever seething with baby blue sloth just beside

Sits the golden glimmer every man has seen before;

That need once all needs have been met, that ceaseless need for more.

Warm yellow says he's innocent, a tool for your success,

But something evil hides behind that gentle blond fluoresce.

He slyly whispers from one side, "you can't be satisfied."

"You hardly have enough to keep the whole world in your stride."

His closed hand hides the angel twin to the devil in his eyes;

The gleam of greed is a gleam indeed, in an effervescent guise.

Beware the green of envy and deep indigo of lust.

The sweet appeal of gluttony holds no amount of trust.

Turn away from crimson rage and a climbing self-esteem.

Icy indolence, though slow, can plot a fiendish scheme.

Deadly these are aptly called, for all are quick to swallow.

When these exist, the child of these is always there to follow.

Above all you must stay vigilant when faced with wicked greed;

Darkness lingers deep inside, and he waits to plant the seed.

You became my light

Creeping into the darkness of the corner in which I hid

You drew me out of the shadows

And I was never the same.

You found my feet

In the nightmares where I could not see

You led me safe to home

And I was never the same.

You were my world

When the world came crashing down around me

When the very air seemed to drown me

Since you, I could never be the same.

You were supposed to be my savior

But then you shattered and spread in the wind

I can't pick up your pieces

I will never be the same.