Began during wee hours

of December first tooth house sand nineteen

steeply self immersed

within insomnia, hence

sudden creative cloud burst

fingers slower than

fleeting thoughts, I cursed

nonetheless stitched,

doctored and nursed

the following continued

hours later with pursed

lips seriously, silently, and soundly

trying to craft lame poem, the worst

among feeble efforts,

among countless attempts

showcasing, (no rhyme nor reason)

yours truly versed.

Found muss elf unable to easily doze

haint no lamentable hallucination

found me froze

imagination begets, births and

breeds nightmare, whereby

humongous cannibal grows

name of Hannibal finally

an end to existential woes,

cuz every academic endeavor

yielded nothing but zeros.

Loathe blatantly outright

to turn toward life of crime,

yet I realize benefits

such as flextime

plus one functions

as independent consultant

off hours studying sign

language to pantomime

in the event victim of

unfortunate circumstances deaf

mute, or simply to

enhance gig being sublime.

Quite aware impossible

mission to succeed,

in the capacity writer,

hence quick income accrued

cash on demand guaranteed

apprenticeship provided with

on the job training indeed

course donned incognito

trumpeting, essentially greed

aware potential billionaires

minted he/she doth only need

venture capitalist to recognize

lucrative opportunity keyed

nsync with song that tops

the charts invariably lead

singer plus natural born

prodigy polymath, prolifically breed

ding all Forbes thirty under thirty

helping to buzzfeed

one after another cottage

industry flourishing analogous

to hardy ganja weed

allowing, enabling, and

providing ample time to read...

tea leaves predicting prodigious fortunes.

Unaffordable, yet valiant speeding,

tailgating, and zooming

Pep Boys, I cannot dodge.

Yours truly grief stricken

(sob... sob... sob)...

wheely hard to bear

this anticipatory anxiety

riddled joker impossible

mission thwarting despair

death knell tolled (told),

woebegone news, I did fear

hears stunned me into silence,

the unwelcome prognosis,

I needed to hear

no joke, but good humor

totally wrecked vehicle forces

yours truly to become...,

no not a lion tamer

but, yes a panhandling junketeer

begging, copping, dilly dallying... ha

to accept unpleasant

unexpected dire straits

gravely digging within lithosphere

bidding... fare thee well

treasured automobile faithful and near

synonymous with ideal paramour, yet now

must confront stark reality,

lack ample disposable income available

no financial resources to persevere,

and worse case scenario me

and the missus will need to don

faux Santa Claus outfit,

and roundup available reindeer

for ourselves (yea... yea... yea...,

I realize how spare

and tired, pessimistic,

forlorn success such short notice

unless if... nah no fat or slim chance...

apocalypse ushers abominable thermonuclear

war, (I doubt Trump would

pull publicity stunt

to be re elected - ha) whereby

Beatle browed, foo fighting

foreigners, survivors impressed, feted,

compensated... for service

unless they willingly volunteer.

Combination future pluperfect

birthday presents and Noel hi axe

for additional Christmas gifts well nigh,

noah ark cake "FAKE" attempt,

to hoodwink, engine ear,

trunk hate, et cetera

drum, harp, trumpet... belie

including objective to shanghai,

nor fall out of good amazing graces

toward (me) garden variety generic guy

providing steadfast generous

figurative air supply to fortify,

revving me shaky talent,

ye may oft times decry

as unintelligible gobbledygook

brainstorming ideas to try

single handedly ambidextrously

poetically kindle indeed codify

to elucidate how transportation

car reared and gone awry

moderate expenses as

original parts wear out,

(i.e. battery, fender, brakes,

hood latch, shock absorber, tires...

albeit almost all simultaneously),

hence I sigh

aware expounding circumstance that doth defy

immediate resolution incumbent to pacify

troubleshoot immediate impasse

squarely render quintessence

problem solving the overriding

challenge, I vilify.

Like a moth,

I was drawn

To your light

But you were not the sun,

And you did not shine

For me

Dreams are

The universe’s whispers

Your words

Divine prophecies

My thoughts

Deterrents

My soul lost

In a flesh maze

Ruminating, while rustling, and roping

regular riff raff galore

with deliberate intent tomb ache

mummy dearest laugh

till she falls down Mariana Trench

deep down on zee sea floor,

where tears trickle thence pour

down her cheeks

causing flash floods that did roar

back in the day of dinosaur

triggering erosion plus extinction

regarding "terrible lizards," unwittingly

opening figurative door

regarding wild speculation

by George, i.e. ninety eighty four

bajillion years ago maya

inca ling extempore rainy us hypothesis,

whereby this troubadour

posits sketchy jaw dropping conjecture

synchronization, superstition, strangulation...

roaming contra band predecessor

rock hitted rolling stones

hook, line and sinker

gathered no hardy moss, nor

grunting gripes re: ain't

got no satisfaction store

reed prehistoric bipedal hominids

embarkation commenced way before

führer set to even World War I score

back hazy mists time immemorial

vulnerable scattered shortish,

nasty brutish primates bore

ring, measly, niche indeed

kickstarted guttural folklore

fierce predators heavily outnumbered

lacked aptitude to deplore

chance fluke circumstances

take out boxed survival

diet of worms held in escrow to check

propensity trending cocksure

bazillion future generations, when

forebears would explore

comfort zones outer limits,

meanwhile mine and your

great great great... grandparents

kept low profile learning hardcore

bare necessities to shore

scant population uttering primal bonjour.

How quaint to contemplate,

when proto humans continuity

at mercy of indiscriminate fate

where unavoidable, uncontrollable,

unpredictable... forces decreed demise

contracting early death versus to dilate

envisioning disadvantageous, horrendous,

precarious tenuous...

toehold Homo sapiens descendents I equate

with apocalyptic unpleasant fate

predicated pitching humanity

teetering on brink, where

self destruction will accelerate

unless species doth ameliorate

weapons of mass destruction,

while doomsday clock ticks closer to...

How can you really hurt a man? Society will have you believe he has the world at his fingertips. If you want to wreck a man and completely take away his sense of self, you must make him believe he has no "self." A man is no longer a man when he doesn't see himself as worthy or equal to his brothers. A man loses his humanity when that which he holds dear is left to rot and die.

You must take what he holds secret and expose it.

Men have mastered the art of appearing confident and secure when their world is havoc within. You can break this confidence with a well-timed comment or complaint. You can shatter their walls by finding the one place they are insecure then exposing it to the world, showing their true face. And the world will reject their true selves. The world will tear down their value and sense of self. You can't protect that which is thrown to the wolves. If you want to hurt a man, expose him for the liar and fraud that he is, then he will torture himself.

I am a coward. I am such a coward.

You know when people always talk about what they would do if something bad happens? Some people are more honest then others with their, “Yeah I would get out of there. I’m trying to save myself.”, while others are more concerned with their family, saying they would only save their mom or dad, kids or siblings. Then there are people like me. People that say, “I would sacrifice myself.” Do I really feel that way? I believe I do. I do love others much more than I love myself and would rather me die than everyone else.

But another point has been made. What if I sacrifice myself and it doesn’t work. Would I still be willing enough to save others if my life turned out to be a waste? Would I still be willing to throw myself in front of the barrel of the gun if it would just go through me and all the others?

Would I still be willing to bleed out on the floor, my head on the cold tile, and although I am unable to move and I struggle to breathe, I can watch others bodies absorb the bullets as they scream, the agony and fear blurring my vision and echoing in my ears? Would I still do it, knowing it was a lost cause, or would I do it, only with the comfort and satisfaction of knowing that everyone will be okay, maybe even me? Do I really care about these lives, or do I just want the fame and glory for my heroism?

My school is “due” for a school shooting. The bullying has become worse, kids have been starting fires in the bathrooms, and instead of afterschool, fighting is right out in the open, at the lunch tables, in the classrooms. Nobody cares anymore. There is something significant about this school year. So many kids are breaking down in class and people are threatening others with scarring, abuse, kidnapping, and even death.

Nobody has any love anymore. There is so much hate that one can feel when they enter the building. You can feel the anger and despair. You can feel everyone's souls dying and the love of learning be still in it's grave.

All of the phones are down today. The cameras aren’t working. None of administration can meet with each other or talk to each other via earpiece. This means that someting is going on.

Something bad.

And what did I do?

I got up. Grabbed my things, and I left.

I am a coward. I am a coward.

Forsooth impeachment hearings appertain

blood on hands of

self important president,

though alcohol he doth abstain,

nonetheless permanent drunken stupor

doth wax and wain

finger of guilt

damaging democracy points

to him as chief villain

groomed since... time immemorial

atavistic primate brain

bathed (courtesy Frederick Christ Trump)

buzzfeeding chosen favored heir

go for broke - bankrupt countless times

and pulled out all stops,

viz unbridled espousing philosophy gain

amass wealth, unscrupulous

if necessary where,

might equals right play'n

deadly serious game (Life) train

sight squarely and/or roundly

scattered lovely bones

amidst tombstones testimony

incidental secondary fallout main

part and parcel, where legerdemain,

plus art of the deal linkedin

with immeasurable gloating

ego necessary to gain

con fetter writ oligarchy plain

successfully cheating, hocking,

milking, quaffing, and trending,

yielding dynastic rule

trumpeting eternal stormy reign

vaping with wealthy

zealotry (think vain)

at electorate expense

tampering koolaid acid test

courtesy illegals sown GMO grain

colluding when/where possible,

never losing sight regarding

selfish mission to attain

obligatory ideal tyranny

rampantly running roughshod,

no need to explain

writing sleight underhanded profane

antithetical, critical, heretical quatrain

badgering, belittling, besmirching,

bilking, boasting, bragging with disdain

flagrantly flaunting, fleecing,

regarding purported B.S. degree

in economics he did attain

matriculating Wharton School of law,

hmm... methinks he paid

hirling from Ukraine

forever flirting, flouting, and flunking

even basic geography questions

case in point being where is Drury Lane

additionally, he ain't no literati familiar

storied quasi fiction Citizen Kane.

We fell in love fast,

in temporary starlight

after just one kiss.

One soft touch,

one unforgettable

glance. I didn’t

need anything else

in that moment

but now I need you

to want to make

it last. Don’t

just call me

“star seed” and

make me laugh.

Let me see the

way that your heart

beats, tell me

your secrets; let’s

be more than

a shooting star

romance.

ReBecca DeFazio

More Than a Flower

#poetry #poet #poem #writing #love #romance