Appreciation aches
There's not one thing that has ever been taken for granted by everyone at the same time. Oxygen? There's someone appreciating the air right at this moment. Nitrogen? Someone has just learned about it at school. Nails? Blood? Pupils? Everything is being appreciated at this moment in time by someone somewhere.
You?
You can argue that you have never been appreciated at any moment. I beg to differ. Someone might've looked at you at the streets and had a sudden realization that changed their lives for the better; a little kid might've looked at you and right away wanted to be like you when they grow up; You might've been in a rush and bumped on someone on their way to work and because of that they weren't hit by a bike that was passing by a few moments later. There's always something to appreciate at life and there's always something being appreciated.
We live in a planet that's inside a solar system that's inside a universe full of everything. And sometimes, that's exactly how we feel. Full of everything. When that feeling kicks in and everything seems a little hopeless, remind yourself that the world is full of everything as well. A little bit of appreciation might help.
Not a Revenge Letter
Living as a Semisen being was always my identity.
The only one I could *actually* call mine, since everything else is not up to me or whatever is me. I know you're probably wondering why I'm writing this before I'm 21. “How are you even allowed to touch the writing device?” Well, I'm not allowed, but one of my brains decided to rebel and this battle was won by an agreement that my brains would switch decisions so they never overlap each other. “What?! This is against the rules, Semisens beings are born with two brains and the one that wins more battles is the one that will live after a Semisens being 21 years of age! That. Is. The. Rule.” Well, apparently, my brains agree that they didn't like the rules, so I'm kind of screwed to be honest. But, back at the letter. Yes, this is a letter. I'm only 16 and going indescribably crazy with the whole brain thing, turns out I realized I have a conscience apart from my two brains and honestly, this is my revenge. I found a way to hide informations from my two brains - no idea how though, maybe they know, at least now they definitely know -, and decided to screw them since I'm already screwed so, when you find this letter, at least you know what happened to me, maybe you're going through the same thing. If it works, you'll know what to do - just copy me if that's not clear enough -. I was thinking of calling this the “Revenge letter” but since I'm not harming anyone but myself from the harm caused by anyone but myself, I decided to just call it “Letter”.
I approach you with my conscience to salute the battles your brain have fought.
Ashes on the wind
The wind screamed louder while I shed a tear. I believed it was calling someone so I wouldn’t transform into this rock while alone. In the event of no hopes, I remembered when I got the bananas from the tree I had just learned to climb or when I ran so fast I almost became the wind that was crying for me right now. I’m sorry, I wish we had more time together. As I close my eyes, I have a vision of two monsters, they look just like me or my mom, but different. They cover their bodies with some kind of leaf I can’t recognize and wear that look in their faces. Despair. Why would they feel despair? It’s okay. I would became a rock someday, anyway. Just let the wind blow the ashes, then.
***
“In the middle of the forest, two biologists found the girl with a injury on her head and brought her to the city’s hospital where she remains unconscious. No one has gone there to claim her, therefore, she remains with no identity. This is The Night News, Good night.”
- So, this was you? - Sirois asked me with those chocked eyes everyone gives me when they find out I had a forest upbringing. - How? You’re the most urban person I know.
- Yeah, I have no idea. Apparently, that’s me. - I laughed while he kept looking at me. - What? That’s it. Maybe this is my rebirth, this is my chance to be right here, where I’m at.
- Do you believe in it? - My raised eyebrows maybe him laugh - I mean, you’re very successful, but you seem a little off sometimes.
- It’s just… - I gathered my thoughts once again knowing that my answer would not be accepted for me - Everyone, my whole life, talked about my rebirth. How I was born again not only because of my lack of early memories but also because I was given the chance to live in this world and be well loved and grow up gracefully.
- But you don’t think that…
- I do think that. - He took a sip of the water. - But I do have a memory. They’re not vivid, but I can sense there’s something in the air that makes me want to look back at it. Whenever the wind blows in my ear or makes my walks when I wear a dress extremely uncomfortable, I can feel it. I can almost touch it. But, I can’t access these knowledge so I have to live with this half ignorance while I treasure my rebirth.
- Why don’t you go back then?
- Why would I throw myself on fire again just to watch me burn?
When the light hits the eye
The gray sky meets the colorful planes that fly so close to each other due to space limitations. The masks people wear on the streets is almost as welcoming as the masks we use so naturally in social life. Blue. Red. Purple. All over the streets. I still find myself locked in my studio from time to time, even though what I love the most about life is seeing the colors mixing in front of me. Sometimes I wonder how nice it would be to open a window and maybe have a nice view. Just a view at all would be great. In times like this, it’s so hard to meet people, everybody hides in the shadows of pollution and covers themselves with the ashes of what was once a beautifully set of colors. It’s nice. It’s very nice to look at my grandparents lives through the stories they’ve told me a while ago. Trees... and waters that change color when the sun hits them in a different angle. Sand and... waves that move perfectly in sync with the sound of the wind. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to see any of that. Neither will my kids. Maybe their kids. At least, I still have the colors and, for the yellows and oranges and all the possible combinations, I’m grateful.