which side of the grass will I end up on ...
will I fall ..?
will I rise ..?
don't make that choice.
I just hear the cries.
the cries that fall,
from painful eyes.
a new page, yes.
but, no erase ...
stagger and stutter drunk
dazed and unfazed.
waiting for the grenade ...
If it ever drops ....,
I'll pull the pin upon my own head.
Nothing comes close
to the skin she wears.
hatred knitted into
fibers of her bones.
stolen soul, and hidden,
deep, within evil dreams ...
no yesterday's lift her head.
blood washing down drains,
with secrets to keep,
and a gullet full of whiskey to 'mend' ...
yes, hatred is real.
Hatred is felt.
Hatred is lived.
Hatred is betrayal.
Hatred kills and
sends unwanted souls to hell.
pain is only but a scar,
it scabs, it heals
and you move the fuck on.
Hatred is forever ...
It's what you hog tie
as you beat it
like a piñata,
laughing in the face of weakness,
squealing in fear,
giving a half assed attempt for forgiveness.
but the damage has already been done ...
DK & LiL
She swims in whiskey,
watching as fish breathe,
If only she had gills
that worked on regret
she wouldn't have betrayed the school
and swam alone ...
Drifting careless through currents
as sharks say prayers before dinner.
fear is in her heart,
she's desperate for light of restoration ...
Heaven shaped like a net,?
and paradise like gasping air,?
the fear fades,
to complete darkness ... ....
Drip ..., Drip ...,
she waits ...
waits with fear in her heart.
a withered magnolia still giving
off a faint sent of hope ...
her garden fades and weeds take place,
sun scouring the best of her.
she draws a bath ...
she lies still,
as petals fall
drip ..., drip ..., ....
her voice, turns mute ....
maggots lick her dark secrets
and disappear into sadness.
she can't run from illusions
and plagues follow her close behind...
beehives swarm her mind,
making babies in her thoughts.
mirrors on the ceiling
reflecting her insecurities.
Laugh if you will,
just don't cry,
the crystal ball is floating,
underneath floorboards ...
Dangerous and sketchy,
dirt fills her open mouth shut,
stand back and watch the movie,
play out like her every day reality ...
Too strong to loose,
from an iron made noose,
From rusted chains,
our necklace sways
I lost, even though I fought.
translate the lie,
as I guilt inside.
Born Unto Lighting
I wrote one and then erased it
and then I wrote one and erased it, then another but erased it yet again.
My mind is everywhere, but nowhere all the same.
I tear up at little things because of memories I've missed, I laugh at things that others think are funny ....
I work hard and keep responsibilities in check. but now I sit here drunk.
I know, I usually stop at tipsy ...
I went out late tonight
just to breath in some fresh air,
escaping the lasso around my neck.
and when I looked up into the sky
there was only a few stars,
but the few stars I saw,
shined brighter than ever.
and in-between the bright stars,
were bolts of lightning.
and in that moment, I felt home.
Security, stability and peaceful memories ...
I cried out, looking past the clouds
and whispered to the lord until I could no longer whisper ..
I fell to my knees, in the middle of the open field. rain pouring down and the stars still shining bright, I cried a deep a cry .
I shook my head, and held it low,
I felt small and insignificant,
like the dirt worms make their homes.
but for some reason, I felt heard ...
only time will tell.
so I guess another night loss of sleep ...
"The moment viewed like a movie",
was my moment of born again ...
Dad In A Box
I found your life tucked away
inside this small dusty box. ...
all alone I began sifting through
as it spoke so softly, I realized ....
you didn't learn to speak,
until after, breath escaped your lungs.
so now I listen to your ghost whisper
to me as I scan still memories,
left to throw away all the mundane. ...
don't worry dad,
I'm not afraid and I no longer cry tears,
that flow without permission ...
instead I hold on to reality that
I never knew, and hardly ever will ...
yet, life goes on
outside of your small dusty box,
where I continue scanning lost times.
so for now,
I put on a smile
and tell my little boy,
all your things left behind,
were all left
for him ... ....
sweet whiskey retreat ...
you make me feel frisky
I'm not tricky,
that's why you call me pixie,
or is it gypsy ...
oh ... tipsy, that's what you call me ....
silky really. my name is Lilly.
I hate frilly, though I confess,
I have a dress, I like to impress,
not to be cliche,
but you're my man,
scan me as you please
you have the keys ...
taste the dream
of sugar sleep,
I am sprinkles
within the cake
of past mistakes,
lick my neck if you dare
to know my flavor,
lick me bare ....
Did someone say risk~ay ....?