as I wait

for our better days

to come

I realize

it is no longer what

I want

always

running dry

on conversation

until it is time

to rip my heart to shreds

always pointing

out my broken shell

so it cracks even more

even when I try every

day to be better

to bring more

to the table

but I know

now

all I do

will never be enough

for you

I need to stop

getting my hopes

up thinking

I can be somebody

but you always

remind me

I am no better

than the next

don't know

why it hurts

like hell

but I tried

I keep trying

I fail

I fail

I fail

I fail

you want

to stay

at war

while i am

falling out

of love

you love to say my skin needs to get thicker and that need to grow a backbone

you say our daughters won’t be taught not to have a back bone

but I have one

sometimes I give it to other people

because I rather them be okay than me

sometimes

the darkness

catches me

lately it keeps

crawling on my skin

but it’s you

the lamp

in the room

always bringing me

back

to the light

my little

one