Someone who has been reborn several times.
I would like to meet someone who has played out their lives multiple times. Each time in a different field of study. Imagine the conversations you could have and the advice they could give. As someone who has many passions, it would be nice to talk to someone who has accomplished great things in that field or with that hobby.
Pictures
One paradox of being the photographer in the group is that you don’t have that many pictures of yourself. Even this picture is of my best friend and not me.
It’s been about several years since I started taking pictures of friends and acquaintances. At first I was proud at having taken lots of nice pictures of my friends. But then I realized how much of a toll it takes sometimes to be the only one taking pictures. Especially if you’re not getting paid to do it.
Instead of fun pictures here and there, it somehow became forced. And the quality of my pictures suffered too.
I had already taken on that role of photographer. And I genuinely liked taking pictures. But it was starting to suck for lack of better words. I needed to figure out what my motivation was.
So I started to limit my picture taking and learned to be more in the moment with my friends and family. It improved my relationships and my pictures started coming out better. My inspiration and motivation was back.
This picture attached is the most recent one and she was one of the few people to remind me to just have fun when I hang out with her. And make sure I wasn’t caught in that vicious cycle of trying to get a perfect photo while losing focus of what matters.
So for those who are the photographer of the group, just know you’re not alone. And it’s good to set boundaries and just enjoy moments without taking a picture. And for the others, please appreciate your photographer of the group and take some pictures of them too. They’ll appreciate it!
That period of time when:
I miss that time in college when I had all my friends within a few miles of me.
I can see why it would be nice to have a significant other after college to have someone there for you more often. During college, having a boyfriend or girlfriend could really hamper your growth in trying new things and meeting new people (imo). But after college, you realize, that you are no longer in the same stage nor same location as most of your friends. It becomes kind of lonely until you get used to not seeing your friends every day. The first year after college is the hardest for many reasons. And one of them is learning to cope with loneliness.
Mmm... It does and it doesn’t
I believe a lot of people mistake lust for love. So falling in love with someone's appearance at first sight seems a little shallow to me. But I do believe you can know someone's the one after the first date or after meeting them at a business meeting/etc. I've seen that happen to some people I knew. So I guess my statement is that you cannot fall in love with someone and their whole being (like their personality and everything else that makes up this person) with just one sight. But I do believe you can feel that love connection after meeting just once, even if you don't act on it until further in the future.
My heart... JK (don’t hit me haha)
I am really clumsy and have broken a hole in the wall by kneeing it when I slipped. I've also broken my phone two times in a row (but it was those outdated phones even when there was more modern phones available at that time... my dad was just cheap). But the most recent thing I broke was... my old car. It survived several car accidents but finally broke down after driving it on a road trip and would not rescuscitate. I had to get a new one and now I'm broke. Where's the prize money for this challenge? haha jk...
Also I'm moving this weekend, so I'm hoping I don't break anything else!
Nothing Ever Lasts
I never thought that our relationship would ever change.
You were one of the first people who I met in college. Over the four years of college, we became super close. I learned some sign language because you were deaf. We had inside jokes and footage of nights we both couldn't remember the next day. We studied hard and partied even harder.
I guess it all started when I turned 21. I was suddenly thrust into your world at the bar. Where I saw a side of you I started to hate. Where I felt like you started to fetishize every single Asian guy we came across. Where you left me by myself every weekend to make out with every Asian guy at the bar that you could.
We no longer played basketball together or danced together. The only times I would see you was at the library or at the bar where I always felt used and alone. It no longer became a fun time for me because I also felt compelled to act the same way.
I started to see my value in having guys making out with me at the bar. So I ruined my first kiss with a random guy which twists my insides just thinking about.
Then we went to Korea together and you left me alone at the club again and I felt scared and alone in a foreign country. I didn't feel in danger but I felt like I went there to have fun but only ended up being your wingman yet again.
And I didn't like how you dated a guy just because he was Asian and then dumped him before we went to Korea so you could be single at the club.
I never thought our relationship would change from the days where I would make you brownies and we would wander around the campus at night. Where we would run in the rain to catch the bus. Where we would perform a dance together in front of over a hundred people. Where you used to teach me how to do a layup on the basketball court.
But people change. And so does relationships.
While we are no longer friends, I still cherish the fun moments we had together. I never once regretted being friends with you.
I never thought that our relationship would change. But it did. And I'm sorry.