It’s always on a silent night, alone with my mind, alone with my thoughts, a swell in my eyes, uncontrollable twitches in my sighs. It’s a dark time, there’s no light, I’m at a war trying to decide who’s right. My heart or my mind?

Who’s gonna stop me from drowning in my tears, who’s gonna stop me from being devoured by my fears? My broken heart still wishes she was here, nothing else has ever been so clear. But the pain continues to spread over the years, like a drop of poison in the sound of my prayers.

I’m screaming to be heard, but the willingly deaf will never hear my words. There is a dark veil shadowing the world. Ignorance. The devil on my shoulder, like an eagle perched, there is no water that could ever quench my thirst. My inspiration runs dry as my soul loses it’s worth. God, it hurts. Cursing the day of my birth, with every breath that passes, it seems I myself am cursed.

I will never be able to tame this pain, it’s lose and wild and spontaneous like a Carolina flame.  Nothing shall extinguish it’s heat, not the mightiest of downpours or infinite rains, not the end of days, not the sun’s eclipse, not even if the entire ocean was poured upon it’s place. This pain shall never end. There is no healing for a heart that will never mend. I mean I could pretend, a fake smile fools everyone except myself.

You’ll find stories in poems fuelled by ink of rhyme,

and mine is no different, so will you listen to mine?

Once upon a time, no, it was from a day like any other,

a day on which I, again, forced myself to open my eyes,

even though I wanted to die...

I had managed to find strength in a will thought dead,

I had managed to find life in a fading breath.

Another reason to try in an exhaustive sigh,

collective reasoning in my thoughts filled my head,

yet I’m still in my bed...is there a purpose to this new day?

and this was my routine on a day to day basis,

I was getting tired of the repetition, I really hated this.

Monotony was a part of my life’s schedule,

and it destroyed my personality, in a way so gracious.

Leaving behind nothing of who I was, of what I might have been...

and then I saw you...this moment a cliche in every tale,

the sudden change that every story seems to play.

Yet it is a truth I intend to say, your beauty will never fade,

not from heart or memory, nor the stars that spell our destiny...

illuminating the paths that enjoin us...

your eyes ensnared me in a dream of a bountiful love,

and I know it isn’t lust, because I want you the same,

even without the sensation of your touch.

And my words are too little, and not enough, they’re not much,

but in you, I’ve found love...

just know you lay in the cradle of my heart,

cushioned by my affections enough to silence the dark,

enough to radiate brighter than the stars,

and destroy the distance between us,

bringing you closer to me, so we may indulge in rhythmic art...

You give the sun the motivation to rise,

And you’ve given the moon a reason to shine.

Though you illuminate the entire universe,

to me, you’re more than just a light, I want you to be my life, my wife.

Can you see my love in the reflection of my eyes?

And today, I know for certain I’ve wished for days lived happily,

and in past they used to be nothing but dreams and fantasies,

to override then overwhelming nightmarish agony,

it’s passed me.

My love, I wish to live a life with you eternally, with hopes of building a family,

So I ask you now, my beloved, will you marry me?

I feel like I’m falling through a downwards spiral, this feeling has always been contagious and viral, now I’m infected. Stuck in a never ending cycle, continuously repeating, no hopes of a death and a revival. There’s no escape. There’s no exit. Is this a mistake? Why does it feel like my silhouette has been reshaped? I’m losing my identity in this vortex, a never ending debate like the senate. It’s painful to my cerebral cortex, my brain cannot comprehend the portents. I see clouds drifting by, this dimension still as blue. Like paint across the skies, birds in twisting flights, my resisting eyes lifting lights as they shutter in sight. A powerful camera recording mesmeric views, this is a gift in life. But the monotony. The same routine is on top of me. I’m bored of being stuck without finding an anomaly, in this world, I seek no apology or rejuvenation for the economy. My ideals of wealth relate to modesty, and honestly in honesty I dislike materialism and novelties. I want for my progeny, the best life I can give them that rises from the atrocities. I dream the same dreams,

I’ve seen the same things, acted out the same scenes. Imagine falling asleep, waking to regret that there’s nothing left to see. Nothing left to be. Nothing left for me. Imagine a reality where dreams remain just dreams, an unreachable step from all you have achieved. All you have believed. A manifestation of your belief but reality deceived. We’ve been deceived. My heart is hopeful, my heart is also broken. Yet with the pieces left, I still lived in the moments still hoping that the dreams I’ve seen are inter-woven, into my soul that’s awoken, dreams as vast and open as the ocean. If I still have the strength to acknowledge this notion, should we not act on emotion and make a new reality from these words that were spoken?!

I still see your face,

somewhere in the clouds.

I still hear your name,

like thunder,

an echoing sound.

My heart is still in pain,

from when I had lost you

to never again be found.

Now you rest in the heavens,

amongst the other angels.

You travel through paradise

as another blessing

with my love that you cradle.

Are you looking down at me,

my love?

Cause I'm still looking for you

even though I'm here

and you're far above.

The skies were blue before his life had changed,

the moon would still set at the end of each day.

He used to live life to it's fullest even in the rains,

Oh he was so oblivious to the heat of an ignited flame.

The sun was at it's brightest the very day he met her,

to him, she was his muse and the most beautiful girl ever.

He fell in love with the pleasure, he thought he'd love her forever,

and he submitted his soul to her, his heart he had surrendered.

Memories they created on balconies and in many gardens,

eyes connected in love defying all boundaries and margins.

She was his queen, she ruled his heart with persistent sovereign,

she became a thought that would never once leave his conscience.

She was the song that his heart would beat in rhythms,

this infatuation changed his entire mental state and system.

His friends knew he was entranced and became one of cupid's victims,

while he declared his love so loudly that the stars would listen.

He wanted to spend his life with her so he proposed,

he just wanted to prove that it was he that loved her most.

Yet to the idea of marriage it seems she was opposed,

and thus she refused with the most reluctant "No".

He was devastated and his mind filled with floods of confusion,

hastily trying to figure out an answer, some kind of conclusion.

And suddenly he started to feel less than he was subhuman,

sudden realisation hit him that her love had always remained unproven.

So he asked her if she ever loved him the same,

did the feelings ever exist after she made that claim?

The reply she gave him overwhelmed him with pain,

she said she thought it was funny to play with his flame.

She dropped the heart he gave her and it shattered,

the truth was that his love never really once mattered.

It was just a game to her and she stabbed him with a dagger,

and once it hurt him, she turned and walked away right after.

He was destroyed; disintegrating from the inside out,

he was speechless, and no word could escape his mouth.

But the scream was loud even though there was no sound,

his mind became heavy as he looked down to the ground.

He dropped to his knees tears falling from his face like rain,

each droplet able to extinguish the mightiest of flames.

It was like his strength had been bound forever by chains,

he had nothing left, nothing but the remains of his name.

The blue skies had lost it's colour and it was suddenly a grey world,

everything became black and white as if death roamed the earth.

The sun never to rise again during the morning's birth,

his pain was loud but the scream remained unheard.

His heart was gone so his soul now wanted to leave,

his mind was in chaos never again to find peace.

Questions invading his thoughts as to why he continues to breathe,

so he get's back up to continue walking down the street.

After walking so many miles and now so far from home,

he read all his messages one more time on his phone.

It broke him again to be driven back to the only thing he's known,

Solitude. His entire life he had always been alone.

One voice in his head now haunts his every thought,

A suggestion was whispered that causes him to pause.

Tears flowing like streams down his cheeks and across his jaws,

it's time to let go, he said. It's time to end this war.

He then walked across the road so that he'd be hit by a car,

he couldn't bare it anymore, he was tormented by a missing heart.

A speeding vehicle finally hit him and suddenly his world became dark,

he smiled one last time because he knew it was time to depart.

Love was nothing but a game she played when she was bored,

and invited cupid's victims in to her open door.

To this day she remains unaware of what she had caused,

time pass was all he was, the only thing that she saw.

He fell in love yet it was the thing that ended his life,

a punishment for simply dreaming of making her his wife.

He was already poisoned but again stabbed so deep with a knife,

and no one could ever possibly understand what was in his eyes.

A letter was found in the hand of his lifeless corpse,

his blood stained the streets, puddles of crimson coloured the floor.

It was in his writing addressed to the girl who manipulated his thoughts,

his friends were drenched in tears when they read it without pause.

It read:

I fell in love with you but I guess it wasn't enough,

why did you let me fall just to destroy all of my trust.

You played with my emotions and gave me hopes of "us",

even though you knew you would one day leave me crushed.

what did you hope to gain in breaking every piece of my heart,

what did you want from throwing me back into the dark?

I didn't give you my life only for you to just rip it apart,

I guess this was your plan right from the very start.

I hope you're happy because I've lost my will to live,

you never appreciated any of the love I wanted to give.

My life was doomed the moment I tasted the poison in your kiss,

I was simply a fool to ever believe I had found my desired bliss.

I truly loved you and it was more than you ever deserved,

before you, I was always alone and always reserved.

It was a lonely life and it was only my solitude I served,

you built a flame inside of me and It was I that got burnt.

I can't live another day like this so I'm just going to end it,

my life had always been false just the way you pretended.

My blood is going to be on your hands, remember the pain you cemented,

I hope you're happy, this is the result of everything you intended.

Don't let someone fall in love if you don't intend to catch them,

Love isn't a game to play, it's the strongest passion.

It's like a roller coaster ride without the seat belts fastened,

ending in either joy or sorrow, but one of them forever lasting.