*I am pointing out that this is fiction. None of this happened, it is in fact a weird dream.

Is it cheating if he is abusive? It wasn't supposed to happen. Mark was staying with the kids and I. Jerry was gone for months at a time for work. We met Mark a few years ago. He has seen the changes in Jerry. We grew close, I suppose.

While Jerry was gone this time, we were hanging out and the kids were inside. I was stressed because Jerry was coming home in a few days. Mark didn't hesitate. He pulled me in close and kissed me. I pushed away. Confusion in my heart set on. Fear washed over me as well.

He pulled me in and kissed me again. He kissed me and held me until I stopped fighting it. I really liked that he cared. But fear of Jerry finding out was still there. I felt a dizziness and butterflies, something I hadn't felt in a long time. After he pulled away, I heard the door close.

I walked over to the door, opened it and saw my ten year old. I explained to him that he couldn't tell his dad. Mommy and daddy were going through a hard time and not to worry. He agreed to stay quiet. I felt bad about it.

A few days later, Jerry was home and pissed about something from work. I felt the bliss from Mark, but still felt bad. Mark knew I was going to tell Jerry. The kids were in the other part of the kitchen. I told Jerry what happened. Exactly what happened. It pissed him off more. Jerry walked over to the kids. While he was yelling at me, he stabbed our three kids. Mark was holding me back as I screamed for my kids.

Mark yelled at Jerry for what he did. He told Jerry he was going to make sure he was locked up. Jerry demanded Mark to explain why he kissed me. Mark said only three words. I saved her, I saved her. Then the kids took there last breath. Jerry ran. I collapsed to the floor, crying. Mark called 911 while he held me, trying to comfort me.

Honestly, everyone loves a baby. The cute faces, the tiny body, the coos, the giggles, the smile. You may want one, but no one tells you the ins and outs of having a baby. Now everyone and every pregnancy is different, I can tell you that now. Everyone has different experiences as well.

At nineteen I had my first. A very handsome little boy. He is now two years old. I was excited and nervous all at once. There was a little human going to be growing inside me. Would I be a good mom? What if something goes wrong?

I was sick every morning for a week and the rest of the nine months went well. Now, I am a small person and my son was born at 8.5 pounds. I was induced on his due date. It was pretty early in the morning. We got to the hospital at 6 and were brought into a room at about 7. It took all day before I got to meet my baby boy. When it came down to the nitty gritty. Pushing sucked. It hurt more and less than I thought. I have had heavy things fall on my foot, and trying to get this baby out hurt more than that. But then my doctor came in. He was mad at the nurse. She was acting lazy and my son had been stuck at my hips. Y'all, this kid takes after his daddy. He has some crazy broad shoulders. I had some help ( thank you vacuum) and he finally came into the world. That was horrible pain. No words can describe how it felt. But it was all over when I met him.

Then was my second baby. A little girl. She is one. They are 14 months apart. She was rough. I had the worst pain all through the pregnancy. My placenta was low (which is not good) for most of it. After it moved back up (I slept with a pillow under my lower back and it went back into place) I had a pinched nerve. Then the week we had her (it was Saturday) I was in the ER for labor like pains being told I had an infection. Then Thursday (the day before I was supposed to be induced which was her estimated due date) I had her in the morning. Labor hurt and I got the epidural for the second time. But that wasn't the worst pain. The worst pain was looking at my baby girl (one of two under 18 on my husbands side of the family) with her cord around her neck, face blue and not breathing. I thought we lost her and I was horribly heartbroken. My doctor along with slight help from my husband worked so fast to get the cord off her. My doctor (he is amazing) was very calm through the whole thing, and got her breathing and crying, working her lungs. I cried. I was very happy.

I had slight PPD. I didn't realize it. I wasn't aging as much attention to my son or much of anything. I took care of them because I had too. Looking back, I think that her birth traumatized me and through me into a depression. Luckily, my husband pointed it out and I started paying attention and loving on both my kids and him. I started doing things that made me happy.

I really want to point out and say, when and if you have a baby and you aren't interested in anything or are just going through the motions and something doesn't feel right, please talk to your doctor. You didn't do anything wrong. It does happen to anyone. You don't have to go through it alone.

Just an innocent drive down the highway. The children are with their grandparents, so it's just us and the dog. You are lucky for that and that we didn't get hurt. As we are driving, many cars pass. Semi trucks have passed us, too. Nothing wrong with that. You on the other hand, you didn't just want to pass us. I can understand defensive driving, but you were far worse than that. You were aggressive. If my husband didn't know how to drive around you, we could have been hurt or killed.

You, sir, came speeding down the highway like a bat out of hell. We tried to move, but you wanted none of that. You nicked the back of our truck. We sped forward in hopes you would stop bothering us. We were wrong. You came barreling down, got next to us and started to switch lanes. He blasted our horn and "pushed" back so we wouldn't get hurt. You still tried to get us. He rolled down the window and let his orange soft drink fly. Sticky and annoying, not deadly like your driving. You tried coming at us again. I tried to get a picture of your company and plate, but missed. We sped ahead and you finally got the hint. Moral (for you especially) of this story, don't mess with Texas!

"I'd love to go to your party, but my water just broke. I know the timing isn't the best, but I can't help it. No, the baby is on time. No, I don't know the gender. Yes, I have clothes for a boy or a girl. Yes, I really am going to the hospital. Okay. Thank you."

My friends all were at a party that I didn't really want to attend anyways. Fine by me. The next person I call is my husband. "Honey, I need you to come home. No, yeah my water broke. You do but don't need to hurry. I think it will be....... a little bit before the baby comes." All I could think about was the pain. It wasn't too bad yet, but it still hurt.

It didn't take long for my husband to get home. It was humorous to watch him, like a tornado, throw everything into the truck and then slowly help me in. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before he closed the door and ran to his side.

Quickly, but carefully, we got to the hospital. He ran inside and got a nurse with a wheelchair. They got me inside and hooked up to monitor contractions and our heartbeats.

"What's baby's name?" The kind nurse asked after I was all hooked up. "Oh and the doctor will come in for the epidural."

My husband looked at me and replied to the nurse. "If the baby is a girl, Ariel. If the baby is a boy, Toby." He smiled at me.

Those names had meaning to them. His grandfather passed away when he was seventeen. We had been dating two years. His name was Toby. My grandmother was my guardian. She raised me since I was nine years old. She passed the year after his grandfather did. Her name was Ariel. We couldn't wait to meet our child.

Twenty minutes later, the nurse smiled at us and we heard our baby cry. "Congratulations mom and dad. Would you like to meet Ariel?" Tears rolled down our faces as we happily met our baby girl. Our world was complete.

I know people have celebrity crushes. I have one. I know people who have one (or sometimes more). I even know that the man I am married to has the hots for Emma Watson.

The celebrity crush I have (pictured) is someone I have been following since my junior year of high school (2013). His name, Felix Kjellberg.

Felix is Swedish. He is a internet icon. To find him on YouTube you have to look up his persona, Pewdiepie. He plays games, watches videos for challenges, and really interacts with his fans. He is (in my opinion) very, extremely attractive. He has a very attractive Italian girlfriend.

I find Felix to be really funny. A lot of people dislike him because they say he isn't funny or his content isn't great. I find his "shitty" content to be pretty funny. Sometimes his not so great videos are actually pretty funny. I could watch his videos all day long.

Also have said, he is pretty funny. He is a sweet guy. Watching his vlogs, you can tell by the way he and his girlfriend interact. I admitted my crush for him to my husband (and admitted some other things) and he laughed. It was the things I said that made him laugh. He said when I told him what I did, I sounded more fun. I laughed at him for that one. I'm curious, who is your celebrity crush?

"I am serious," I said. My mother never listened to me, but I had to try. "He asked me, I said yes and I am moving to him because I can't stand the way you treat me. Belittling me all the time and believing them over me!" Them being my siblings. I used a sure, honest voice.

"I don't believe you. And I treat you perfectly. Don't start that shit again." I tried telling someone, my friends believed me. The police officer wanted me to wait until everything I said happened again.

"I'm serious. I don't know why you won't listen to me," I pleaded, to no avail.

"You are not honest."

It doesn't make sense. Literally. In school, you are taught that putting "IR" in front of a word makes it a negative word. Like irresponsible, not responsible. Regardless by itself is a negative word. It means "without regard". Adding "IR" makes it "without without regard". So making it a double negative would not be a good thing to do. By getting rid of it completely, we would better our vocabulary.

You are a dog. Well a puppy. German Shepard and hound mix, at least that is what the vet said. We adopted you and took you in. You needed us and we wanted you. We didn't know you were sick until we brought you home. We felt so bad. The people that owned you before we got you didn't sound like they took care of you well.

We nursed you back to health. You helped our son be more like a toddler than so shy all t he time. You gave our infant daughter a friend to make her laugh. You are a good friend to us. We love you like you love us. We are all family.

You are a puppy, a big puppy at that. We can tell you will be a big dog. But you act like a big baby. Always wanting attention and loving, no matter how much you want, what we give you never seems to be enough.

You cry when we leave, you are happy when we return. Our children love you very much. You may be a big baby but you are our big baby.

There are many people on YouTube. Not one of them the same. They have their types; gamers, comedy, vloger, tutorials. I have my favorites, you have yours.

Pewdiepie, Markiplier, BatDad, these are just a few.

There are music videos and a lot of artists. Again, I have my favorites, you have yours.

Eminem, Linkin Park, Disturbed, just to name some.

Have you ever felt like you could help someone? Did you? If not, why not? Sometimes the best happiness comes from helping others.

Often, when I think about going back to school, I try to think would I would go for. First, I solely felt like I should go for writing to better myself.

Then I thought about real estate because that is a good business to be in right now. Of course to minor in something I would stick with writing. Then I thought about going in undecided. But really what good would that do me. At that point I would never decide what I want to do.

Well now I am thinking councilor or therapist. I really enjoy helping people and I'm told I give really good advice. I have helped friends when they come to me asking me what they should do. I helped a friend with a relationship issue (even though I knew it wouldn't work). The friend really wanted it to work out so I tried to help with that point of view in mind. I made sure the friend knew it might not work. It didn't, but that friend ended up not caring and saw the real side of the partner. The friend still thanked me for everything I did. From listening to coming up with a plan to try to win the partner back.

I enjoy helping others. Whether or not the people closest to me see it. Sometimes I have a hard time trying to form the words on my head, writing has always been the best outlet. I honestly am very open minded and love to listen to others.

My biggest problem I am facing is really what I want to do when I get into a college or a university. One of the issues I run into is should I go into an environment where I have to be around other people and be nervous? Or should I stay at home and find the course online and stay comfortable. I'm shy and have a hard time around other people. In high school, I had to force myself to talk and read out loud in class. That was my senior year and my creative writing class junior year. Although I warmed up really well in my creative writing class. The students and the teacher all said I was really good with my writing and it gave me the confidence boost I needed to be okay with reading my writing out loud. I wanted my senior year to be a good year, so I forced myself out of my shell. I answered more questions and tried to participate more in class. It was difficult for me.

I hate being put under pressure in the classroom atmosphere. I get so worried I am going to mess up terribly. That is really an in general fear, but students are always around you and can remind you that you messed up.

I don't have friends where I live. I don't seem to fully understand people and I guess how to act around them. I don't know if it's my ADHD or if there is another "problem" that I don't know I have. I don't mind not having friends most of the time. There are times, though, I wish I was more social and liked being around other people. I would love to fit in, but I feel like I'm too strange to fit in around other people. How can I fit in but still be myself? I ask myself that a lot, but I can never find an answer.

Honestly, if you have helpful advice, I would be glad to hear it. I try to focus and I try to take advice, but there is always a little voice telling me that I can't do it even when I try to convince myself I can. I think that is a big issue I'm having. I appreciate them time that y'all took to read my little bit of truth.