I Do Care
I could care less.
This means that you could care less. Meaning, you do care in the first place. And though this phrase is originally intended, as "I couldn't care less," which means that you do not care at all, humanity's lack of attention to detail has turned this phrase into the complete opposite of what it was intended to mean. Therefore, it should either be retired, or corrected completely.
No more, man(o)
Mano a mano - hand to hand combat, intense fight
Misused: "Hey, man, let's just calmly talk about it, mano a mano." -> frequently, the phrase is misused to represent some sort of fraternal/friendly relationship, assuming the expression means "man to man."
Correct: "Hey, man, let's settle this properly, mano a mano! Let's fight!"
Not literally going to kill you.
If I hear one more airhead use, or see one more post about someone "literally" doing or wishing something that's clearly incorrect, I'm metaphorically going to kill them.
It doesn't make sense. Literally. In school, you are taught that putting "IR" in front of a word makes it a negative word. Like irresponsible, not responsible. Regardless by itself is a negative word. It means "without regard". Adding "IR" makes it "without without regard". So making it a double negative would not be a good thing to do. By getting rid of it completely, we would better our vocabulary.
Where’s the Proof?
People often say: "the proof is in the pudding." However, the original goes: "the proof of the pudding is in the eating." The latter makes much more sense. When I hear the former, I always imagine someone swimming through a giant bowl of pudding looking for "the proof".
"Rubbed the wrong way."some sources say
Was coined by streaky cleaners.
The theory doesn't hold much sway...
It's likely bad cat-preeners.
But even though there's valid blame,
These theories fall down flat...
I think there lies a truer claim:
A different type of cat.
I survived, so it must be safe
It's prolific on Facebook: "Share if you _____ and survived."
Drank from a hose.
Rode in the back of a pickup truck.
Drank lots of soda.
Biked without a helmet.
Didn't wear a seatbelt.
How about, "Share if you got into a car accident, were thrown through the windshield because you weren't wearing a seatbelt, and died a tragic death." Oh wait, you can't.
The risks involved in a behavior cannot be determined by popular vote among the living and healthy. It's a matter of data and analysis. One must consider how frequently harm occurs and with what severity.
Friends, your survival isn't an indication of the safety of the activity. It's a cause to be thankful for your well-being:
Be thankful that you didn't get lead poisoning from your garden hose.
Be thankful that you weren't thrown from the back of a pickup truck.
Be thankful that your genetic makeup gives you strong teeth.
Be thankful that you didn't suffer brain injury from a biking accident.
Be thankful that you weren't involved in an automobile collision.
I'm not here to tell you to wear helmets and seatbelts and only drink purified water. Parents, I'm not going to tell you how to raise your children or how much supervision you need to exercise over them. These are your choices to make.
But let's stop this Facebook campaign for the "good old days" of risk ignorance. To imply that an action is safe because you are unscathed is illogical at best, and callous at worst.
Do what you will, but respect the risk tolerance level of others- whether it is higher or lower than your own.
I’m just saying...
It's usually said right after something that could be interpreted as insulting or accusatory, such as:
"Someone sure made a mess in here!"
"Are you saying I'm a slob?"
"I'm just saying..."
The first person makes a comment that is ambiguous and can be interpreted in several ways. This causes the second person to ask for clarification, lest he respond inappropriately. However, given the opportunity to clarify, the first person responds with "I'm just saying", implying that it was merely an observation, a statement of incontrovertible fact "Someone made mess in here." Of course that begs the question, "Why did he make make this observation?" Was this a startling revelation not readily apparent? Did he just conclude that the mess was man made, and not a natural phenomenon? Either way, why not clarify his intent?
Instead he hides behind the pretext of stating apparent facts, and refuses to enter into a healthy dialogue. He deceives himself into thinking that he has made his point of slovenliness, while still having plausible deniability, which fools no one. Instead of diffusing the situation it inflames it.
This phrase needs to be banished from our conversations, assuming of course, that we want to improve our relationships.
Not exactly following the dictate
But, never one to vainly negate
An opportunity to vent my disdain
From the use of this single refrain
"Irregardless"- a common misuse
Fingernails on chalkboard, this abuse
Redundant, dribble, sheer ignorance
Its application, a great grammar offense
"Lighten up," my friends so urge
When eruption, I'm on the verge
I KNOW there are things worse
But, the offenders I wish to curse
To keep my blood pressure in check
Please keep your verbiage correct!
Originally, the offensive definition of the term "basket case" was an amputee who no longer had any limbs. It suggested that the recipient of the insult required carrying around in a basket. So, all right, that's a logical though unkind term.
But now, "basket case" means someone struggling with crippling anxiety or stress. I sort of understand why that would make sense to some, but not entirely, because it is offensive as well as a bit of a stretch logically. Also, in my admittedly limited experience, the turn of phrase has a confusing connotation.
A basket case could be someone who is reduced to tears when faced with a difficult decision.
In "The Breakfast Club", the character called the Basket Case is pretty much just weird.
Either way, it's fairly impolite. So, I propose removing it from our vocabularies or narrowing it down to one straightforward definition.
But, of course, it doesn't really matter what I think about this deemed-improper colloquialism, does it?