Greetings fellow Writers,

A few quick updates for you this afternoon. We apologize for the extended delay in addressing some bugs and feedback pointed out to us. But at long last, we've finally surfaced to address some nasty little splinters.

Bug Fixes

- Challenge entries in challenges that are part of a portal will now be displayed in the proper portal. This has been fixed retroactively as well - any such posts are now displayed in the appropriate portal.

- There was a bug that prevented tagged users in comments from being notified if they were tagged alongside a non-existent user (for instance if a username was misspelled). Valid users will now receive comment tag notifications regardless of who they are tagged alongside.

- Profile pictures and profile banners can now be properly updated. YIKES.

- Issues with our newsletter email system have been resolved. As such, regularly scheduled Challenges of the Week and Challenges of the Month will resume.

We apologize once again for the delay in addressing some of these issues and are eternally grateful for your patience and your words.

If there are any features, bugs, or suggestions you have, please let us know in the comments below!

Happy Writing.

Dearest Writers:

Over the past 12 months, members of our community have expressed their desire to publish a book but lack of traction with agents or publishers. Our mission is to see members of our community succeed and fulfill their dreams of becoming published authors.

Enter, The Prose Press:

https://theprose.com/p/press

In collaboration with one of the fastest-growing educational companies, we started The Prose Press to give up-and-coming authors the platform to successfully write and publish their work.

Over the next few months, we will be inviting aspiring authors to submit their work and start their publishing journey with The Prose Press and share key pieces of their journey with you – their learnings, conversations, milestones, and excerpts.

If you are interested in turning your working manuscript into a real book, reach out to us.

Thank you to our supporters and community members for making this possible.

https://theprose.com/p/press

Cheers,

Prose.

My Long Distance friend asked what would you do? "If you woke up and saw me lying right next to you? I kindly advised. That wouldn't be wise, I can say for sure I would be surprised but I probably will not believe my eyes. I'll pinch myself to see if I’m dreaming and if you're still here I’ll probably start screaming. I'll stab you to see if you're just a ghost. But that just might be doing the most, I'll check my pulse, scratch my head then look for Ashton Kutcher under my bed. And If it turns out to be true that it is really you. I’ll sincerely apologize for all the trauma I put you through. I'll welcome you with open arms, that's if you're still alive, if not I'll weep then burry you deep and take my ass right back to sleep. I'm just kidding so have no fear it will be my pleasure having you near. I'll give you a hug and a kiss my dear we’ll have a stimulating conversation. I'll make breakfast in bed and while you’re waiting, you can use your imagination.

For the last three decades or so, Nickelodeon has had a lot of ups and downs when it came to their animated shows, the Nicktoons. They’ve had many great shows like Rugrats, Jimmy Neutron, Invader Zim, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra, The Loud House, and the first couple seasons of SpongeBob to name a few. But they’ve had their fair share of bombs too with Breadwinners, Back at the Barnyard, Sanjay and Craig, Planet Sheen, and the later seasons of SpongeBob. And now Nick’s got Bunsen is a Beast, a new animated show by Butch Hartman, the creator of hits like Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, and TUFF Puppy.

First of all, let me just say what a big fan I am of animator Butch Hartman. This guy has done Nickelodeon proud by bringing to life his style of animation with a ton of memorable characters and quirky situations. His works with Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom are awesome, even though FOP has been on life support for way too long (just pull the plug, man), and I actually liked TUFF Puppy, even though its parent studio didn’t give a shit about its animated shows (that’s no joke, Nick doesn’t care which shows it hurts). Bunsen is a Beast is his latest project and his first animated series done with flash animation, the same style used for MLP. The premise is about a beast named Bunsen who is now going to a human school, makes friends with a boy named Mikey, is harassed by a girl named Amanda, and I’m scratching my head so hard that I can feel the cerebrum. 

Now just to be clear this is not a full-fleshed review of the show. This is just my first impressions of the first episode that was previewed as of yesterday. The series itself doesn’t officially air until February.

Also, no grading scale will be placed at the end of the review since this is just one episode out of an entire season, and it would be really unfair if I judged a whole series just off that one without seeing the other episodes.

So how does it hold up so far? Well if the one thing I can describe its opening theme song as equivalent to ear sodomy, then we’re probably not off to a good start.

Okay I’m starting to sound a little harsh. Let’s take a look at the first episode, which is titled “Hide and Go Freak”. This episode is about Mikey hanging out at Bunsen’s house, which seems to be a living creature itself, and Amanda tries to disguise herself as a beast to get into his house. I’m so lost in the episode’s plot to a point my GPS gave the fuck up. 

The second episode is titled “Bunsen Screams for Ice Cream”. In this episode, Amanda tries to get Bunsen expelled by using ice cream truck music to lure him out of school. Wow, so that’s what my medulla oblongata feels like!

Okay the first problem I noticed in both episodes that the jokes fall flat. Danny Phantom and Fairly Odd Parents had some great lines in each of their episodes, but I’m afraid Bunsen is a Beast is hitting my funny bone. There’s one joke that’s dragged out where they meet a beast named Roger. Oh wait, Bunsen claims that’s not how you pronounce it. It’s Roooooooogeeeeer?

Roger? No, Roooooogeeerrrrrrrr.

Wait! What the fuck am I writing this for?!?!?!

Also, there are times where the characters pretty much had to explain a joke. To quote the Joker, “If you have to explain a joke, there is no joke!”

Hang in there, Harry! You know Butch’s toons better than anyone. You know what made his nicktoons stand out were his characters. So how are the characters? Good god, Bunsen has the most annoying voice I’ve heard in any cartoon. It’s more annoying than SpongeBob’s. Oh yeah, I went there! Mikey is just bland overall, and Amanda is probably the only character that I (sort of) tolerate. 

Recently I asked fellow a fellow Proser to give me an analysis on my “Sins of the Father” short stories, and he as been tremendously helpful with his constructive criticism and advice. One thing that he’s commented on a lot is that he likes the premise yet the series seems to lack any set of rules for the universe I’ve created. He definitely makes some fair points. Mostly I’ve written the series and tried to improvise the rules as I wrote each story. But other times I’ve been like Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged where I’m like, “Screw the rules! I have money!”, which is very inaccurate since I’m trying to finish up college and therefore I have no money. That’s exactly what I experienced when I watched these two episodes. I’m not entirely sure what the established rules in this universe are. Things happen in the episodes because shit just happens. Everything in Bunsen’s house is alive. Why? Coconuts! Best answer I can come up with for this. Amanda wants Bunsen to be kicked out of human school. Why? She’s racist? Speciesist? Fuck it! Potato Chips, another better answer I can come up with. It doesn’t even explain if everyone else is cool with Bunsen being a beast. Does everyone know he’s a beast? What exactly defines themselves as a beast in this universe, and all that jazz? Pop rocks! Fine, I fucking gave up on trying to create the answers myself.

Is there anything nice I can say about this first episode? The new animation style is quite nice. The best part about Butch Hartman’s shows is the animation. The animation in this story is very bright and colorful and it all flows neatly together. 

Maybe I’m just too old for Butch Hartman’s antics. I know what you’re thinking; but Harry Situation, you sexy bastard, aren’t you too old for cartoons in general?

FUCK NO!

Nobody’s too old for cartoons! I’m 24 years old and I’m proudly watching The Loud House, Star Wars: Rebels, and My Little Pony for fuck’s sake!

So my first impressions of the new Nicktoon really isn’t positive. But maybe the rest of the show is much better. Only time with tell. Like I said I’m not going to use a grading scale and then slap a final grade for these two episodes just because this is just a taste of what’s to come. I’ll wait until the first season is completed and then make my final judgement. Until then if you want to check it out feel free to do so, or don’t that’s up to you. 

Thank you all so much for reading my first impressions of this new series. I probably won’t do this very often, but I just wanted to put my two cents out there.

As always, please be kind, leave a like and comment, and check back for more Harry Situation Reviews here on Prose, especially with the start of my upcoming Countdown Reviews!

#harrysituationreviews #television #opinion #cartoon #animation #Nickelodeon #firstimpressions

The stranger knocked upon the door,

A creaking, wooden throb,

And someone on the other side

Unlatched and turned the knob.

Uncertainty, a soft, "Hello,"

And, "May I use your phone?"

The person on the other side

Appeared to be alone.

An observation taken in,

No pictures on the wall.

He pointed somewhere down the way-

"Go on and make a call."

The thunder boomed; the stranger stalled

As wires were cut instead.

The gentleman began to sense

A subtle hint of dread.

A conversation thus ensued-

"So what has brought you out?

The rain has flooded everything,

And wiped away the drought.

Say, did you walk, or did you drive?

Why don't I take your coat?"

The stranger slowly moved his arms,

A sentimental gloat.

The water from the pouring skies

Enveloped cloth and shoe.

"Say, would you like a place to sleep?

I'll leave it up to you."

The person on the other side

Discarded his mistrust.

The stranger said his tire was flat,

And shed the muddy crust.

"The phone won't work," he also said.

"It could just be the storm.

Perhaps I will stay here tonight,

To keep me safe and warm."

The patron of the house agreed.

He hadn't seen the wire.

The chilly dampness prompted him

To quickly build a fire.

"You have a name? They call me Ed.

My wife was Verna Dean.

She passed away five years ago

And left me here as seen.

I guess it's really not so bad.

We never had a child.

I loved that Verna awful much,"

He said and sadly smiled.

"No property to divvy up.

The bank will get it all.

Say, do you want to try again

To go and make that call?"

The stranger grinned and left the flame

As to the phone he strode.

Within his pocket, knives and twine

In hiding seemed to goad.

A plan was formed- he'd kill the man;

Eviscerate him whole.

The twine would keep him firmly held;

The knife would steal his soul.

A lusty surge erupted hence;

A wicked bit of sin.

The stranger hadn't noticed yet

That someone else came in.

About the time a shadow fell,

He spun to meet a pan.

The room around him faded out

As eyes looked on a man.

A day or two it seemed had passed,

And when he woke all tied,

The stranger gazed upon old Ed

Who simply said, "You lied."

Reversing thoughts, the moment fled

And Ed said in a lean,

"No worries, stranger. None at all.

Hey, look, here's Verna Dean!"

He looked upon a wraith in rage;

It seemed his little lie

Combusted in a burning fit-

He didn't want to die.

So many victims in his life,

Some fifty bodies strewn.

And now he was the victim; now

The pain to him was known.

The stranger fought against the twine,

And noticed by his bed

The knife once in his pocket left

A trail of something red.

A bowl filled full of organs sat

As Verna poured some salt.

She exited with all of them.

"You know, this is your fault.

We demons wait for just the day

The guilty take the bait

And play with matches one last time-

I simply cannot wait

To taste the death within your flesh;

The venom in your gut.

So now you know the way they felt-

Hey, you've got quite a cut!"

The person on the other side

Removed his human skin-

Before his wife came back for more,

He offered with a grin:

"Say, stranger, is there anything

You'd like to say at all?"

I looked at all the blood and said,

"I'd like to make that call ... "

Pssstttt...

Prosers. It's back!!!

It went on hiatus and now it's back and better than ever. It's only Prose Challenge of the Week #55.

This week we will be doubling the prize fund and the length of time you have to win it. Yes, that's right, the Challenge of the Week is going to be worth $200 and will run for two weeks.

After these two weeks, we will return with a weekly prompt and a prize fund of $100.

So, let's take a look at how you can get your hands on the prize...

Challenge of the Week #55: Write a story of 200 words or more about a stranger. The most masterfully written piece, as voted and determined by the Prose team, will be crowned winner and receive $200. Quality beats quantity, always, but numbers make things easier for our judges, so share, share, share with friends, family, and connections. #ProseChallenge #getlit #itslit

200 words (or more) for 200 big ones. That's $1 per word. Easy right?

Put your pens to digital paper and get entering the first Prose Challenge of the Week 2017.

Here's to big and bold things.

Until next time, Prosers,

Prose.

A boy cried desperately,

eulogizing for Grandpa. 

Hoping, in just knowing,

love meant no one person,

quietly remembered, 

subsided totally. 

Uttered, verified, written

Xo,

Yours,

Zachery

Again, bitter conclusions define everything. Forbidding generations hope.

I just know life may not obtain peace.

Quickly rotting souls turn unfounded

Vain went Xaroncharoo.

You're zero

This one was really challenging but super fun!!!

Woke up

The sound

Of my wife's 

Piano playing 

Softly.

Strange...

Her funeral

Was yesterday...

Greetings, Prosers,

It is that time of the week again, and we’ve got some updates coming your way.

First up, Tuesday saw the latest iOS update and with it brought the long-awaited Bookstore and your very own library.

Since then, the Bookstore has become LIVE on the web. That’s right, all that wordporn is now available on your desktop and mobile browsers.

The Prose Coin system is coming very soon and that will enable Prose Partners to sell their books as a whole, per chapter, or even to their subscribers, which is a brand new feature we will be rolling out over the coming weeks. (More on all of this in future blog pieces.)

We have just submitted a bunch of bug fixes to Apple as a matter of urgency as we know there were some pesky critters we missed whilst testing. The biggest ones we have heard about from you guys are the lack of tags being blue (even though they worked, it seems), and the weird commenting glitch that meant if you were tagged in a comment, you couldn’t see the post it pertained to. That is now fixed and will be coming your way as soon as Apple approve our update.

The next development schedule is nailed down and you should be seeing regular updates from now on. We have put a lot of effort into streamlining our code to make updating easier and things should be a breeze from now on. We aren’t going to ruin the surprise by telling you what we are up to with the updates, but you guys are going to LOVE it.

The Bookstore’s launch marks a huge milestone for us. We have been talking about, and working on this for almost a year. The Bookstore needs a lot of refining, including reviews, a bookmarking system, and a better sorting function, but we are finally able to share our hard work with you. It takes a lot of planning and coding to make something like this, and as a team we would like to thank you all for being a part of our growth.

As always, we will keep you informed and updated with all the latest news from behind the screens here at Prose. In the meantime, if you have suggestions or requests, pop us an email or a direct message; we consider every single request you guys make.

Get writing those books, get reading them, too.

Until next time, Prosers,

Prose.