Keep the faith…

There’s a light

you’ve got to believe it

Even when you can’t see it

Like right now…

You might be thinking, like how

Am I gonna get out?

Might be the darkest time in your life.

But things are going to change…

One day

The gray skies will go away

Wanting to die will be a thing of yesterday.

While it might be hard to imagine

How is all of this going to happen?

You’re gonna need to trust God…

He gave you life for a reason

He sees your pain

He’s with you

He ain’t leavin

He loves you

Believe him.

She decided her exit was now.

She pooled every bookie’s psychic chicane,

Wiring a pennie’s weathered dignity

Just short of upselling her soul on loan

And traded stuttering fluorescent ictus

For steel wool sidewalk

Shaded corpse stewed blue,

Outgunned but not outfoxed

Now a morgue bound rogue runaway

And 21st century hall of fame femme fatale

Hunted for cutting strings long past due,

Exploding the neon eyed shark mafia

Who made chilled blood circle rounds,

Kicking beehive tantrums

Firing cap gun napoleon complexes

Gaining blood pressure points

And losing top dollar bragging rights,

To Diana, Orchid Of Diamonds,

Who played the Royal Flush

And drowned the surly back alley rats

As sure as hell is hot,

Her plain Jane train

Whistling ragtime victory tunes

Leaving Sin City’s glittering abyss

Choking on its black widow shakedown.

The desert’s cracked broom

Swept her heel traced steps

As a sand offering thrown to God,

And the hoodwinked rat ensemble

Were still floating

Bloated facedown

Last any of the atrophied city muscle

Had heard.

They say since the crippled bird flew Las Vegas,

She sells prime real estate in the Windy City

Plucks an out of tune guitar

Bakes tart lemon pies

And still plays a mean game of cards.

Last anyone knew.

Last anyone heard.

i'm tired

of all the little things

of all the big things

of events happening around me that are out of my control

yet still threaten to topple the foundations of the life i've built so far.

of uncertainty and anxiety

of numbness and depression

of feeling like my needs and desires don't matter

in the face of expectations from my family.

of parents venting to me,

of siblings yelling at me,

of friends not reaching out to me,

of feeling alone in this vast world.

of having to keep building myself up

when life tries so hard to push me back down.

of re-experiencing trauma

when i'm struggling to get by day to day.

of having to be empathetic to others

even though i'm the one who's hurting.

i'm tired of living,

but i need to force myself to keep going.