Not a sudden thunderstorm,

The blackness just ebbed in

Casting longer shadows,

Over almost everything

No claps of thunder,

No sounds of rain

Just deafening silence,

Sound of muted pain

When everything shuts down

Reception dead, the lines are cut

Isolated from all life lines

Like they don't give a fuck

Knowing they really care

Terrified it's all a lie

Isolated from all reason

Commonsense begins to die

Poisoned thoughts filling the air

Choking on guilt and fear

Screaming through the fog

Knowing no one will hear

Too tired to fight alone

No light, no air, no hope

Trying to relight your sparkle

Quicker than you can tie rope

Ever wonder their motivation

Feel they may be one of those

Narcissistic humans

Who will only feed your lows

Their charms evaporate

Once their need's forfilled

Making you spin and twist

An unknown battlefield

Dismissing, acusing, bristling

You play a losing game

All efforts to appease

Only fail and cause shame

Do you make excuses

Or try to understand

Justify what they do

Hope it's not all underhand

Why are your good intentions

Met almost with contempt

Thinking love is undeserving

That no one cares, they're exempt

Can kindness be exploited

If given when in need

Did you care too much again

To show how much you bleed

Can you keep forgiving

What it does to your mind

Can you afford the price it costs

To care and to be kind

I will not change who I am

To prove their misbelief

It's time for them to learn

Life's hard, but friends provide relief

Truth and trust would light the way

Debunking self doubt so blind

If only their eyes would open

They'd see it's actually in their mind

Choosing what makes them happy

Will be what sets them free

To accept and comprehend love

From friends and family

It's not an easy journey

They'll stumble trip and fall

But while they keep trying

They're not using you at all

If they refuse to make that choice

And continue selling only pain

Make happiness your own choice

Sometimes you lose to gain

Being mean, selfish and hurtful

The test they don't think you'll pass

Wishing you won't give up on them

Hoping your love and care will last

It might be a harsh lesson

The friendship's their risk to take

If they're in it superficially

They've underestimated the stake

Remember always: you're deserving

Of the epic love you give

Don't pay their pain with your happiness

You need it to love and live

Like a princess

You made me feel

So damn special

It was uncomfortable

Perfect you said

I disagree

I didn't want perfection

I'm a work in progress

I enjoy the struggle

I like the challenge

I take pride in it

But I'll always wonder

If I would be happier

Being your princess

What is love to you?

How do you know?

Where does it begin?

How does it end?

Do you go crazy?

Does it hurt like hell?

Do you run from it?

Or hold it close and treasure it?

There is no answer

As love is not a question

It's a feeling

The rawest feeling

And when you know,

You don't know - you feel

That epic kind of love

The kind you want to run from

Because the thought of losing it

Surely will be the end of worlds

Can you dare to dream

To imagine having bliss

Can the past's nightmares

Be forgotten, be forgiven

It's to big to be denied

Just take the jump

And live this crazy love

That comes once in a life

Love me enough to forgive me

I'll be yours forever

Always have, always will

Means nothing if taken back

Take my world away again

I'll only belong to demons

Falling on bad habits

Playing eye for an eye

If I can trust your words

You can trust my loyalty

Let us show each other

A love beyond this world

Silly Alice, drinking and eating and falling

The mad hatter still haunts her

The queen still in her head

The mysterious cat appearing with his riddles

The landscapes unstable, changing, warping

The paradigm is shifting

Wonderland is fading

Replaced with a dream or perhaps just a mirage

A lion of all beasts

Territorial, dominating, a creature of the night

He waits for her to make the kill

She's stuck in indecision

Trying in vein to protect her fragility

Her pieces still scattered on the AstroTurf of a memory

Such vast plains too terrifying

The pieces could be lost forever amongst the grass

She could never return whole if she fell

Now look, silly girl,

Look at this mess you have made

Knots and tangles, webs and weaves

Just wait, I say, just wait and see

This, this is a magnificent mess!

Look closer you will see

Silver threads of wisdom

Dancing round colorful memories

And all the beautiful kind souls

That I have spun in along my way

It is where I draw strength

That is the tapestry

I call my life

My first line got lost

My first line got lost so I'm using the second

As I did ten other things to get back to remembering I was looking for a pen

For my first line

I'm sorry sometimes I can't hear

The outside screaming in

The line, the line is back

My first line

Quick the pen...

My heart is leaking 

That was it!