A letter to a younger me
Dear AAW,
what I'm writing may seem the most corny , syrupy , sccharine tripe , something that you don't need right now, with all the things going down.
but you DO need it.
you need to get this weet, "life is as good as you preceive it" bit, this "stop and smell the roses" gunk, becuase there isnt much else that i can write.
life is complicated,
people are brutal to each other,
the weatherf is cold,
the mud sticks to your shoes.
but.
things that you choose to see are the things that will dominate your perspective.
you can choose to look at all the filth, but you can also choose to focus on the beutiful shapes, the sounds, the tastes, and most imprtantly at the peoople who are around you and do love you.
a wise man told me once: crossing through this life, is like swimming through a river of shit. it stinks and it's not hard to see unpleasent things floating around. but if you do, you will never see the water lilies flowering.
i hate to tell you, but life doesnt get much easier when you grow up. sure, the imbacility of phisical confrontations will largly dissappear, but there will laways be jerks and bullies and cowards who stand by. finding meaning in this life will also be next to impossible, because theer isnt any real meaning. what we do doesn't really matter. it doesnt change the direction of the universe, it doesnt save the world. but meaning is something you can find for yourself.
you can find it in creating, you can find it in giving and helping, you can find it in the rush that you can get from things.
and if you're lucky, you can also find it with other people. have a family, have someone to care for. once you have that, suddenly looking for some ultra-important meaning, seems a waste of time, so does feeling sorry for yourself, and so does hating things .
so live with the hardships, find joy in love and creating things. it is not a sexy, easy thing to do, but it is he best and only thing you can do, if you want an alternative to this heavy, wretched feeling.
last bit of advice:
find humor as a solution.
we may not know how to lead our life in the best way, but we do have a way to avoid certain failures. this is our sense of humor. it is a sense that is just as important as our hearing and sight.
a humorless person is blind to absurdity, to maladjustment to reality.
whenever you see something and it seems funny in some way, it means that something is wrong.
an absurd situation is absurd, laughable because there is some veruy critical failure in logic.
even something stupid, like a guy slipping in a banana is an indication. something to learn from and avoid.
someone writing a silly pun? surly it is not funny.
it sure isn't. something is wrong with the writer's connection to our culture.
so listen to this little "radar" in your head. when it tickles, be aware of it.
YM
You plucked the strings that bound my heart turning out a melody that danced in my thoughts. Your hands warmed my blood and cooled my fear into a still pool of crystalline tears that washed over your skin like moonlight. My words curled through your ears twisting your emotions into ribbons of love creating something that bound us together into one.
Die Einde
I felt a sharp pain coming from my cheek. Why could she not just say something instead of always using her fists, or hands.
‘‘Ow!’’
She shook her head & pointed at the table. My eyes widened.
I pushed the chair back and moved away from the table. She smiled.
‘‘Are you going to let me know what you’ve discovered?’’
Why was she like this? Uh. All I wanted was to get back to my home sweet home.
She snapped her fingers. Two of her men pushed me back down to take a seat.
I sighed. They say seven is a lucky number. But in my case~ it wasn’t! The moment that the dice landed on the table, I was certain that whatever number it was going to be would determine how many days we had left to live.
At least that’s what I had been told by the person who handed me the dice. I wondered if he had pulled my leg, or if the dice really had the power to tell just that.
There was a knock at the door. Great. I guess more folks were coming in to join in the end of year party.
She told one of her guys to check the door. It was only the delivery guy. Her lunch order had arrived. I thought she had ordered food.
The box was placed near the dice. She opened it and pulled out a strange device. It looked like a radio.
She turned the knobs. All I heard was loud crackling sounds coming from the radio~like device.
‘‘Hey,’’ I tried to get her attention and let her know that I was now ready to talk.
She stopped to glare at me with a serious look as if she was ready to cut off my head. I gulped and cleared my throat.
’’Look. I don’t really know the guy that handed me the dice. All right. I only listened to what he told me at the last minute.
’’He said that the dice would be a way to prove that the world was coming to an end and exactly how many days would be left.
’’The other thing he mentioned before he vanished in a smoke-bomb. Yeah, I wondered whether he was some kind of ninja.
‘‘Anyway, he told the day that you would find me and the dice— would be it. I guessed he meant ‘it’ as in the end of the world- dun dun dun.’’
She blinked and stared at me for a while, until I heard her burst out laughing. Eish, why was I wasting time explaining this to her. We only had seven days left to live.
At least I’m glad she hasn’t killed me, yet. Even if she decides to do that, she’ll be a goner, too. In seven days.
She wiped her tears from her eyes. Huh, what part of the world coming to an end in seven days is something to laugh about?
‘‘I can see that you’re clearly not okay.’’
‘‘On the contrary. I find your explanation and end of the world theory based on my father’s dice the best thing I’ve heard all week.’’
I gaped. The old ninja guy was her father. Whoa!
She tried to grab the dice off the table. I beat her to it.
One of her guys pointed a gun at me. She raised her and and he put the gun down.
What was she going to do? She got what she wanted. I told her to let me go.
‘‘You’re not going anywhere. You’ll have to let ya know what else my father told you. How do we stop the end from coming? Huh?’’
‘‘I don’t think we can stop it.’’ I told her the hard truth. She didn’t want to believe me.
Ah, was I going to be stuck here with her and her guys till the end of the world? I fell down on my knees and begged, again, for her to let me go.
She grabbed the radio device. The other guys placed their hands on their ears. A melody started to play. I couldn’t focus, my mind was losing control of reality.
My head throbbed and my ears were ringing. She stared at me and I saw her lips moving. However, the source of the sound was not from her mouth. It was coming from the radio.
My body collapsed on the ground. I had no idea a radio could be used in such a manner. This was it for me, gone before the final end. Thanks to her and the sound of the killer radio!
The only thing I forgot to tell her was the dice would be counting down as the end draws near. After the end of this day, the number that would always be rolled next, until the very following day, would be..six. Then five, four, three, two— when one rolls- you better prepare your own grave to roll in. That will mark the very final day & end!
#DieEinde