ADHD
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
ADHD.
A mental disorder
effecting the neurodevelopment
of kids.
Symptoms appear around
age 6 to 12.
My brother was young when diagnosed.
Brain developing slower.
He's now only 14,
but acts even younger.
Growing up
I've seen him go through hell.
He can't tell,
but his so called friends
are often the bullies.
The boy who punches
him in the face,
but gets away
because my brother swears
they're just playing.
The nicest little boy I know
is punished, pushed,
and beat
for something he can not
control.
His head
isn't some messy bed
to make and clean.
Not a mixed up puzzle
you can put back together.
It's a town hit by a hurricane.
Maybe a flood.
Some natural disaster.
He may have to go through
the rest of his life
drowning.
Even the medication
doesn't always help.
Little pills.
Little pills.
His mind kills.
I've seen him cry
at simple jokes because
all of a sudden reality will hit,
only for a few minutes,
but in that time
every year of his life goes by.
I've seen rain clouds
form in his eyes.
I've heard the words "I hate my life"
fall from in between
his lips
crashing into the ground.
But no one cares to listen.
If a little boy screams
but no one is around...
no...
but no one WANTS to listen
is that boy even alive.
Telling himself lies.
He can't defend himself
and I will not always be able to.
I do not know what
will happen when he's grown.
He's told me he hates himself.
He wishes he was different.
Teachers often do not see
they can help.
Often turn their backs
at the sign of the attacks.
He has one of the highest IQs
I've ever seen,
yet his report card
looks like it has a stutter.
But do not mutter
the words
freak
or retard.
I will not hesitate
to go to war.
Be aware of me.
Trust the fact that
I won't let you manipulate
his soft mind.
I will stand tall.
All 5 foot and 5 inches of myself.
He needs a defender.
I will defend.
To all end
I am here.
I am always here.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
ADHD.
A mental disorder.
Not his end.
Sealed with a Kiss
Eyes of blue filled with lust.
Pink tinted lips.
Mouth filled with sin.
This is a must.
Not fun
without risk.
Sin.
Someone will win.
Hair pulling.
Biting.
Eyes of blue always on her.
Ropes of licorice,
almost as sweet as her,
wrapped around wrists.
Hands balled in fists.
Sealing everything with a kiss.
Eyes of blue filled with lust.
This is always a must.
Moans and screams
fill the cold air.
Nail marks
bite marks.
Hickeys
This is never a quicky.
Lick me.
Bite me.
Control me.
Dominate.
Submiss.
This is bliss.
Please just one more kiss.
#nightdwellers #beginningline
Old friend
I apologize for not visiting.
I didn't have time to visit.
The 4 year relationship ended.
Depression found out
I was cheating on him
with Proloft.
Proloft made him leave me alone.
Sometimes he comes back. He hasn't
in a while.
Still leaves marks.
Never enough to see you though.
I'm sorry.
I've missed you.
Proloft left.
Said I could do okay on my own.
Depression is back. He won't
leave me alone.
I need my friend back. Stay for
just a few.
Someone will pick me up soon.
I wanna stay with you.
Can I just stay??
25 Things I Wish I could Tell You, but can’t...or won’t.
1. I'll always remember you.
2. I'm terrified of having to speak at your funeral.
3. I still have your huge box of Legos.
4. I think you'd like to know that a Lego can withstand 950 pounds of pressure before beginning to misshape.
5. My hands feel like 950 pounds every time I hold one.
6. My heart is the misshapen Lego.
7. You are...were...such a young kid.
8. I loved you.
9. I hate Legos but for you'd I'd build Lego rockets to a Lego moon...or death star...and watch it crash.
10. I'd build it again and again.
11. I miss your sarcastic, not funny, humor. For 13 you had such an attitude.
12. Your twin is no longer a mirror image. For he can't look in a mirror. Everytime it's as if he sees a ghost.
13. I think he sees your ghost.
14. Every now and then I see him steal a look. Seeing your face in the pooling glass one more time. Smiling as if you two shared a joke.
15. Why the fuck did you have to go?
16. I always felt like a crappy sister.
17. I'm sorry.
18. I need you.
19. You're our missing Lego piece. I can't go on without seeing that dorky grin.
20. I'm terrified that this will happen. The doctor will come out of the hospital room.
21. We all will know.
22. That a bright star burned out.
23. If it happens...I'll speak this poem at your funeral.
24. I'm a Lego piece.
25. This moment is 1,000 pounds of pressure.
Words are not enough anymore.
Can't cover bruises
and black eyes
with apologies.
They don't make good concealer.
My smile though...
Oh damn...to the world,
it's top shelf makeup.
Cover up.
No one knows.
No clue.
No thought goes by.
"What happened to your lip?"
I fell while jogging.
Damn concrete.
Fists like concrete.
Words like knifes.
I can't tell which is worse anymore.
Words are not enough.
I'm not enough.
Enough isn't enough.
Words are not enough.
You are not enough.
This isn't my enough.