I can't without that feeling

Because it keeps me numb

I gulp it down until I choke

Because it keeps me dumb

I love emotional blunting

Swallowing all my emotions

Keeps my air going

But I'm just going through those motions

Addicted to the numbness

That brings a synthetic pleasure

To my carved on smile

That I can never measure

It's not the cloudless sky

nor the stillness of the sea

that most reflect me

It's the midnight hue

the turbulent dark water

the endless abyss

the rarely seen moon

the mournfully, soulful tune

melancholy blue.