What do you say

when you realize

that you never moved on

that you just stuffed it down

and ignored it

And it built up

until it felt

like all the pain is pushing

on the verge of exploding through all the cracks

No don't leave

I know you have to go

You have work in the morning

I give you one last hug

One last kiss

One last warning of be safe

I watch the tail lights fade from view

I want

I want so desperately

To chase after you

To beg you to stay

Just one more day

the headlights are gone completely

I fall to my knees

Tears splash the pavement

I cry till it feels my body is dry

And I cry some more

Torments of rain fall down my face

Starting at my eyes

Please come back

Just 5 more minutes

Just one more hug

You took my heart

Take care of it

Please

I love you

I Float away

looking down

upon the body i left behind

The woosh woosh of wind

the slow darkness

woosh woosh

then all is dark

like space sound is gone

i am gone

BOOM

BOOM

BOOM

The sounds echo

down the streets

bouncing off walls

twisting turning

i hear screaming invade my ears

i hear people calling

its ok

its ok

BOOM

BOOM

You're not there anymore

You're safe

They can't hurt you

I realize the screaming is me

ripping up from my throat

as my soul screams

demanding it be heard

There is another loud

BOOM

and as it echos

I realize it is not gunshots

but simply fireworks

Let me tell you

how short life is

i lost a dear friend

only 14 years in

others make it to 100

others don't quit beat the odds

leaving at only 16

some make it to 30

only to have their life taken from them

some don't make it out of the womb

but what is life

if it is not filled with joy

what is life

without the risk

life every day like its your last

that's what he always said

hes been dead not 24 hours

Hold On

Please

I'm not ready

not ready to see you leave

and will you watch me cry at your grave

take the blade out of your hand

through the pills in the trash

Hold On

you were supposed to get me out

out of this house

that isn't a home

out of this life

which drags on

Hold on

were almost there

hold on

let me grab some pills

to join you

hold on

let me grab my own blades

as i slowly slip away

hold on

i'm here

with you now

we are both

dead and gone

but not forgotten

hold on

It's okay you can laugh

Its funny

It's traumatic

no its funny

i made a joke

are you okay?

I made a joke

so what if it was a little dark

its funny

Thats what we say

people still think it's romantic

we take each other to dances

and buy each other flowers

but she is the closest thing,

to a sister i have

she cares

i wear her clothes as i write this poem about her

her colorful hair

he grey eyes

and bright smile,

its platonic

i promise

yet no one believes

she means the world

she will leave some day

but not unless i leave too

we are stuck together like glue

Dark grey ash

coats the land

there is a faint

Thump

Thump

Thump

the wind blows a few ashes away

there is a heart

laying shattered

and stabbed

the knife still in it

bleeding

yet

the heart still gives

blindly and completely

the heart won't stop

it will give and give

until there is nothing left to give

until it is gone

It starts generations ago

on my dad's side

a poor gardener

loves the roses

cares for them like her children

she gives the plants to her child

and the child gives them to their child

and on and on and on

they were given to my dad

and in turn her gave them to me

not my siblings me

the blooming of roses in them summer

a true cause for joy

and yet due to a storm

that joy is no more

the flowers are dead and gone

just like my ancestors

just like i will be

when i die