Let me tell you

how short life is

i lost a dear friend

only 14 years in

others make it to 100

others don't quit beat the odds

leaving at only 16

some make it to 30

only to have their life taken from them

some don't make it out of the womb

but what is life

if it is not filled with joy

what is life

without the risk

life every day like its your last

that's what he always said

hes been dead not 24 hours

Hold On

Please

I'm not ready

not ready to see you leave

and will you watch me cry at your grave

take the blade out of your hand

through the pills in the trash

Hold On

you were supposed to get me out

out of this house

that isn't a home

out of this life

which drags on

Hold on

were almost there

hold on

let me grab some pills

to join you

hold on

let me grab my own blades

as i slowly slip away

hold on

i'm here

with you now

we are both

dead and gone

but not forgotten

hold on

It's okay you can laugh

Its funny

It's traumatic

no its funny

i made a joke

are you okay?

I made a joke

so what if it was a little dark

its funny

Thats what we say

people still think it's romantic

we take each other to dances

and buy each other flowers

but she is the closest thing,

to a sister i have

she cares

i wear her clothes as i write this poem about her

her colorful hair

he grey eyes

and bright smile,

its platonic

i promise

yet no one believes

she means the world

she will leave some day

but not unless i leave too

we are stuck together like glue

Dark grey ash

coats the land

there is a faint

Thump

Thump

Thump

the wind blows a few ashes away

there is a heart

laying shattered

and stabbed

the knife still in it

bleeding

yet

the heart still gives

blindly and completely

the heart won't stop

it will give and give

until there is nothing left to give

until it is gone

It starts generations ago

on my dad's side

a poor gardener

loves the roses

cares for them like her children

she gives the plants to her child

and the child gives them to their child

and on and on and on

they were given to my dad

and in turn her gave them to me

not my siblings me

the blooming of roses in them summer

a true cause for joy

and yet due to a storm

that joy is no more

the flowers are dead and gone

just like my ancestors

just like i will be

when i die

Look at the clock

do you hear it ticking

those seconds ticking away

your life with them

your days are number

but the number remains unknown

tick tick tick

what will you do with the time

will you mourn the wasted moments

will look and try to count the minutes

my time is shorter than yours

or it may be longer

who knows

according to statistics

i won't make it to 30

according to statistics

i shouldn't be here

writing this

yet i am

i am living on borrowed time

as are you

eventually you are forced to give that time back

whether that be

tomorrow

or today

or twenty years

what will you do with the time

waste it and watch as it slip

slip

slips through the hourglass

or use it

and live to the fullest

There's a lyric

it goes

"From strangers to friends

Friends into lovers

From lovers into strangers again"

Will that happen to us

we've been friends since

since we were kids

I don't want to lose

but it hurts

watching you

pretend like you don't love me

like you don't wish that you could fix

this broken mess

I've become

Lies

Liars

they mean the same

some are small

some are large

some seem innocent

but end up hurting

it's gonna get better

that's the worst lie

you're ok

no i'm not

why would you lie to me

oh you're fine

how do you know

oh yeah thats what i told you

thats what i lied about

as my

l

i

f

e

s

e

e

m

e

d

t

o

c

r

u

m

b

l

e

apart

i'm spiraling

down

down

down

it doesn't get better

you just learn to ignore it

and pretend

you push it down

farther

and farther

I am beauty

I am pain

I am death

Look there I am

Do you see

in the sailors eyes

before his head slips under

haha

i won again

oh look there i am again

in the child

who is skin and bones

i won again

Look there i am

do you see me

in the eyes of a girl

arms covered in scars

mind and heart broken

full of trauma

there is blood

pouring from her wrists

i won again

this isn't so fun anymore

look look

i'm there again

a boy

whose pain is so large

hes giving up

no no

this isn't right

i'm supposed to loose to him

like i did last week

like i did last year

no put the pills down

no no please no

stop

no

i win

i wish i could turn the knife on me

memento mori

remember me

i will be the one you see when your breath stops

memento mori

don't let me win anymore

i don't like this game

the boy with his pain

the girl with her scars

the child who had no food

the sailor who drowned

the had familys

personalitys

the girl liked to write

the child loved to sing

the boy loved the saxaphone

the sailor loved the sea