Valleys, Mountains,
What about the trenches,
When I want to run,
To escape?
What about the pot holes,
The hills,
The puddles,
The mud?
Got a bad grade,
Mixed up a date,
You get a little muddy.
When a friend gets into a fight with you,
A pot hole, even a valley?
Debt, you feel like you're sinking?
A mountain, a new job,
A step in faith?
"If it's not good, then he's not done with it"
Is it possible, I wonder,
When in that trench,
When in that valley,
That pothole, whatever it is,
Could there be a break,
A step up, something, good news?
Or to see some good?
And I pray,
And you can too.
"Arieaaaaa!!!"
"What?"
"I miss pizza."
"I know hon, we all miss things."
"Why can't I just go back and live as a human."
"I'm alive, look at me."
"Yes you're, alive but not living. We can't live."
"Ugh."
Calls friend on phone
"Hey Nat, what's up? I have an idea."
"Uh oh."
"Wanna sneak out?"
"What!?!"
"Shh be quiet, I miss being human don't you?"
"I mean yeah, but we can't live."
"Why can't we try, what could ever happen?"
"I don't know but I don't wanna find out."
"Well just explore, how bout that? I'll invite Norm."
"Ah well-ok."
Alarms.
And now, you may kiss the bride! I felt the whole world lift off my hands as I touched his soft lips, it was amazing. The day I've been waiting for my whole life has finally come. The day I get marr-
"BEEEEEEEEEPPP!!"
I shot out of bed and walked into the living room. I sighed, my mom had forgotten to turn her alarm to weekdays only againnn.
I walked to my bedroom and tried to get my mind back on "the moment of my life", but kept getting distracted by intrusive thoughts.
"Sometimes I hate alarms, I guess I'll just read a book".
I think I am a terrible friend.
I went to youth group again today(February 11th, 2024).
My best friend Teresa has been wanting("I think so" she said something like that) to break up with her boyfriend. We(me and my best friend) have been doing this thing with several friends and I gave Jex my best friends phone(we were at the church when I first gave it to him)to text her boyfriend, and my best friend never texts her boyfriend really(not in 5 days at least)So her boyfriend thought it was my best friends sister at first, and then he asked if it was me. Jex started calling her boyfriend "pookie"(I'm not sure if he had already started but it was around this time if he had not.) Then we walked to an ice skating rink that was near us.(this was the youth group activity) When we got to the ice skating rink they continued texting, and at least up to this point my best friend was enjoying this and laughing. (That doesn't mean she stopped enjoying it but her enjoyment seemed to start diminishing -- is that the write word? -- around this time) Then Jex started saying how he was ruining the relationship, and I said something like, (stupid mistake) when I think my best friend was turned away, "oh its ok, shes been wanting to break up for a while but been to chicken", and he said something like, "too chicken, why, I can do it for her." and then I think I explained a little. The next thing I know Jex is asking my best friend if he can break up with him for her, and she said yes.(she later told me that she thought he was joking or saying it "jokingly") He started by like saying something like "we're done pookie" and then her boyfriend said "yeah non Teresa", and too the point where we got enough to ghost him. He started saying how I had given hints(he's my second -- I hope that hasn't changed -- best friend ok, I felt bad.) I deleted his message that let her know I gave him hints.
Jex also called her ex-boyfriend now(I think I can say that) a "bivch" and then corrected it to the right word. Teresa's ex said "**** off, leave me alone plz" Jex said "ok or something and then "pookie" he used the "double pookie" once too.
I asked Teresa if she was really ok with this when we took a break from skating. She said something like "I don't know" and "I think so" again. She didn't look very happy. I asked her about when she gets back to school.
Sometime during another break I told her ex it was me and asked her ex if he was ok and he said something like yeah.
When there was about 15 minutes left of skating, I gave her phone to Owen, because he had asked to. I asked Teresa and she said ok and like "the damage has already been done" (I'm actually pretty confident that's word by word.) So Owen said something and then her ex said "I'm deleting this number".
I feel really bad for him. He probably thinks it was me because at some point Jex said " this is Teresa's friend and she really is done." and Teresa's ex(as far as I'm aware) doesn't know about Jex. Maybe, since I was obviously there, he just thinks I had to do with it. Either way I am a really bad friend. This is my first reason. I will talk about my second later, I think.
Feb 4th-2024
Today I went to youth group. Sophia wasn't there, she was at church, I saw her, but not at youth group, and neither was Ethan, I don't know if he was at church. I didn't go to the service. There was also two new people and Theo, Martha's son came because Martha's husband was sick. I think he usually takes care of Theo. I failed at a bunch of jokes, but we were talking about books because the new girl was reading Harry potter and at one point I said “always judge books by their length.” not sure about the “always” part tho but Lucas said I had said that I said that. And Jex thought that was really funny so I was happy about that. So this whole youth group thing was like a hot chocolate cup making thing, and we did have hot chocolate but that wasn't really the main thing.
I went from this to that( see post before this/below) :
There is a boy named Hudson. Hudson is a cute boy who is relatable, according to a girl named Sadie, who is 13. He has a best friend named Ethan who is really attractive. Sadie goes to youth group with Hudson. She might have a crush on Hudson, but she doesn't know for sure. She is pretty sure that he doesn't feel the same way. The thing is, Sadie started having feelings for Hudson in the summer after he told her a secret that she thought she could relate to, at the time she couldn't but she thought she could and she felt bad. That's why Hudson is relatable to her. Hudson says he is gay; that's his secret, or at least that's what Sadie thought. Until one day, she invited Tess, her best friend who has a boyfriend, to a youth group sleepover. He told Tess all about his "secret" even though it was her first time meeting him, it had been several hours but still. Sadie thought maybe Hudson had just become more comfortable with it, she wanted to be special.
Sadie told Hudson about her "crush on Tess." She didn't want to be gay or bi, but she wanted to be like him. The truth was Sadie did have something for Tess, but it was all lust. That's what she was convinced of. She often dreamed of doing inappropriate things with Tess and was embarrassed, so she only called it a crush even though it wasn't that. Sadie wondered if Hudson felt the same way about Ethan, but was also embarrassed.