a man shoots his neighbour

green eyed reptiles

drown in shallow waters

a missile takes off from a jet

never will we trust those men

ocatgrenians in suits losing thier

minds while livinig in a fantasy

of borrowed time and a hazy youth

the aftermath of WW11,

this is not the same world

we are not playing with the same toys.

Boys live in make believe,

the innocence

and knowing they

will be taken care of,

by angels in heaven

floating down eating dark chocolate

until their mums come and

hug them- back —to a confused

earth

too many people, babies dead

when will they ever learn

that the mirror

in the garden

recognises

the dark self .

always always. always.

Mornings at Anderson Road

the light shines in

painting shadows of the tree outside,

branches whispering at the window

The cat creeps past

on the ledge, paws on the book:

“How to look after my cat in thirty days flat”

hissing at the dog that has appeared

from around the side of the bed to greet me.

His wags are gentle .

Speed up as if to welcome my response.

I reach out to pat him, say, "good morning"

His tail is now wagging fast, and,

knocks my glass of water into smithereens.

The phone rings,

my husband puts on his best awake voice

“Good morning, how are you?

So, polite. It’s early, not yet 7:00.am

Mornings at Anderson Road In Ulrich’s annex –

A koha screech drowns out the music playing;

Om’ 108 times for meditation

Followed by Chopin and Bach piano concertos

Mornings at Anderson mean lots of friends

and breakfast with my extended family.

I look at my notes of things to do:

but want to sift through the CD's

to make a killer playlist.

Charlie Parker, Herbie Hancock, Miles Davis, Bill Evans

And so much more.

Mornings at Anderson Road

we contemplate Blueberry pancakes

made out of BISQUICK

Not healthy, not for me,

but I am happy to make them.

Fry some bacon, (fabulous combo)

Maple syrup from Canada

complete the plate.

Sophia, my 18 year old

wolfs it down,

syrup trickling

from the side

of her mouth

The rest of us eat eggs,

drink homemade juices and,

contemplate our existence (blessed)

The incomparable lightness of being.

Parkinsons is not sweet

it's not sour, salty or bitter

it's "je ne sais quoi"

it creeps up on you

when you least expect,

taking center stage

(as usual)

you tame it --

the latest yoga move

brilliant acupuncturist

needlework on

body, corpse.

Parky grabs ahold

and doesn't let

go. sticks around

like Ripley. steals your

money, heart and soul

if you let it.

one can be cocky

and say, I've got this

under

control.

Ha. it surprises you with

a new glitch --

slooooooow movement or

unliveable

weakness,

unlovable disposition

Determined to

win this pre ordained

conflict-

regressive future

acceptance is the way

forward BUT

the meds may kill me.

April 15, 2024

What matters? The Sun, the moon and the stars. Love. The best kind. Unconditional, gentle, considerate and deep. Sex. Erotic, sensual, in unison. Babies in all their innocence. Family: the ties that bind us. Creating, creating original works that the world has yet to witness. Meditation matters. Meditation is what will see us through. Exercise, yoga, specifically. Integrity matters. Integrity in action is authentic. Focus concentration and discipline will work. Find your light, shine with loving kindness, be mindful, be happy, may all beings be happy. People matter. Saying sorry matters, hard work matters. What matters is that we write. What matters? Matter, matters. Without matter, we won’t matter. No matter.

Jealousy, fear and insecurity

Manifest at the most unlikely time-

As I am about to step into my bath,

Smell a perfume

That I know does not belong to me

So – I smoke a cigarette

Enjoy the deep satisfaction

Of inhalation

When my husband comes home

The smell of smoke still lingers

‘Honey, have you been smoking?’

‘I don’t smoke.’ I reply, quietly.

Unplug the bath,

watch the water drain...

After all, one lie deserves another.

Deep in my heart, a wedge does lie

I'm willing to throw a dart to hit it clean and fair

Instead, I breathe, breathe deeply and sigh

The cause of the wedge? is mine. Let's try!

Was it the afternoon I drove back from Galle?

Hail! Thunder and Lightning was quite a scare

A voice on the radio warning us to go with care.

The highway is dangerous to drive anywhere.

Wait! Is the wedge, my children? My poor mother, too

My husband, my in-laws? 'How do you do?'

A lost love, another life, what could have been?

It's bittersweet now, all that I have seen…

The wedge comes and goes.

Tears pour down my face,

I am thankful for god's grace.

To analyze the pain,

sitting in the car in the rain

One goes back in time,

breathes, the mind arace

.

To gratitude: of course, I'm grateful!

The wedge is lodged, embedded deep.

I long for the comfort of sleep

Not yet, not there. The exit is quite far.

Stay awake!

Don't fall asleep.

Keep breathing the wedge out,

however deep.

At last, the exit, I take the turn,

drive to the booth to stop.

Pay my toll, and on my way,

keep breathing the hardness away

SUddenly, I am aware that this feeling of a wedge

has disappeared, is not there?

was it the stress of the drive?

Maybe. Could be, should be, yes!

Driving is difficult

When one can barely see,

The car in front, the road, a tree.

The rain is ceasing, .breathing is easy

At last: Home. the dog runs to greet me.

Unpack my bag get on the mat.

Do a few yoga poses, here comes the cat!

5 kittens to feed, all are shivering.

My body feels better, no more dithering

I draw a bath then into bed,

take meds, then cover.

Dream of mayhem and accidents

oh what a shower!

I wake up to a new day.

Stretch and yawn.

The wedge has gone,

the sun shines bright.

Oh, how I love, love, love the light.

Bicycling down the road

I see a man whistling

"The time," he says:

“pointing to his broken watch”

‘Only a moment’ I say

To:

Deliver a child

Die a horrible death

A bomb goes off

Lose thousands of dollars

(at a casino)

Bake a cake

Procreate

Run a marathon

Walk a mile

Take a picture

Develop a picture

Make coq au vin

Pull a trigger

Drape a saree

Post a letter

A few moments, really.

Moments that make up a lifetime

To be barefoot in the rain

listening to music of

a certain time frame.

Winning the lottery,

thank you kindly

now go piss down the lane

Don't forget the champagne.

Go deep, deeper

As deep as you’ve ever imagined.

The rawness from you bursting forth

a ripe open mangosteen

purple juice staining your lips,

darkening your tongue

Truth lies there.

Lies too, but lies dose

not stay for long.

Truth has the wherewithal

to come out and play

Sometimes it’s so painful

you can’ t go on.

It’s Bach at its finest-

quick, brilliant, uninterrupted

The piano playing like it’s in love

And after a long time

the pain is excellent

At least you think it is

You’re in love and may have lost him

Why am I howling into the wind?

It carries me Over the sea

and dumps me at Dead Man’s Cove.

Under the tamarind trees

where I meet a man in a speedo

And Bathing cap. I am guessing he hardly has any hair

I don’t care

I keep swimming out there.

In the bluest sea, I have ever seen

I look down at the clear water

and see The sand

This is where I find my ring. Unbelievable. My wedding ring.

We thought the monkeys had taken off with the loot and vanished far way.

We celebrate say our vows rooted to the spot. Walk soaking wet,

as husband and wife

to the beach

Sit on the deck chairs

and drink gin and tonics.