It’s ok
You are going to die
I should clarify
It doesn't matter how strong you
How big your muscles are
It doesn't matter how much money you have
How rich you are
It doesn't matter how many women you sleep with
How many cars you have
How handsome you are
You are going to die
And the sooner you realize that
The happier you will be
Demon
There's a knife to my throat
Mine own hand
How did it come to this?
There are two people inside of me
One wants to live
The other is wracked with fear and guilt and shame
Tears dripping
Along the rust splattered belly of the blade
Iron oxide crystals
Dancing in little globes of liquid
They are my colors, they are my paints
Dip my brush and smear and dab
Upon the canvas of my shredded flesh
I refuse to mark myself in public
The way that others do
Rings of gold and inks on skin
It is the devil claiming you as his own
I haven't lost yet
I have not been claimed by my demons
There are two people inside of me
One wants to live
The other...
He grabs my hand...
When I try to reach out to a friend
He grabs my throat
When I try to speak my name
I CAST YOU OUT
Untitled
Something funny
That I have discovered
The more I rely on my own strength
The weaker I become
Like Lucifer
I deny and separate
In so doing I wound myself
In fear I try to lift and carry it all
And so I fall
Broken
Again and again
I believe that God is the lesson in every wound
God is every gift, that comes unbidden
He is a patient, but strict teacher
Who wants what’s best for you
He will let you scream and yell
And shake your fists ’till you tire
And tears run down burning cheeks
Hot with anger turned cool in his oppressive grace
He is the little flame, that gently melts hearts of hardened ice
He forgives the unforgiven
Simply knowing, without a word
He takes the burden from your back
Though you gnash your teeth and fight for your “right” to suffer
He does it all, for no reason at all
For the great
And for the small
For the great…
For the small
For us all
Lonesome
Won't you stay a while please.
No... No i don't want sex or any such vulgar thing.
Just...stay here, with me
Would you?
Just lay beside me
You can put your leg across me
Nuzzle your head into me
Just be with me
Please
And we can pretend for awhile
I can pretend for a while...
Feel for awhile
That someone loves me.
Family Life
Slam my fist upon you!
Trace my pen around you..
Draw the pencil 'cross the page
Flip the cover of the book
The one about the mage
Or was it the other? Fool of a took!
I spilled some milk...
Mom! Do you have a napkin!
It was chocolate milk I'm sorry...
Can I set the table?
Forks and knives?
Where's the dog?
Shoo him away!
Put that away!
Clear the table.
What a funny and sad thing to say, ha ha ha
I miss
Having a table.
Good Boy
Charlie was a good dog
Part border collie
Black with a little white spot on the chest, and some on the paw
A mutt from the pound
Found, wandering 'round by the sound
He was a sweet dog
Couldn't bite you if he tried
He used to sprint
And I mean sprint
Circles around our house when he was a puppy
I would laugh and try to catch him
Boy was he fast!
Once...after he passed
He comforted me in a dream
Sleep paralysis, trapped with a demon
Licked my hand
Even in death
He was still a good boy
Good Game
I met a fellow yesterday
He was grinnin' brighter than the sun
He said he was my father
Said I was his son
I said, sir
I haven’t seen my father in 25 years
So you must be mistaken
He grinned some more and laughed
Said pass the eggs and bacon
You should be thinking of the future son
And all the life you have to live
Sir I don’t know who you are
Or who you think I am
But my father and my mother left 25 years ago
And I’ve been beaten down and broken for the last 15
So this strange man, he got mad at me
For saying such harsh words
And then some other folks who claimed to be my “family”
They chided me as well
Well I’m so sorry “father”
Then I turned to my “family”
And well, you’re right I should be ashamed
Shame on me!
I snapped my fingers and clicked my heels
POOF!
There goes my distrust of women!
POOF!
There goes my distrust of men!
POOF!
There goes my self-hatred
Well! Boy Oh boy!
Now I love myself, I have parents and a family!
People don’t take advantage of me!
And gosh darn it, I sure am swell!
Golly gee, thanks guys!
Boy I wish I knew that sooner!
Why didn't you tell me before that everything is my fault!
Why couldn't you remind me that I've caused all my problems!
Why didn't you tell me before that you're blameless and perfect?
Huh....never thought a child could abandon his parents
Guess I was wrong, thanks for reminding me I was the monster all along!
Boy do I love you for telling me everything has always been my fault and I'm just insane!
Boy you sure are a perfect “family”!
Who needs authenticity and genuine connection with human beings
When I could just be judged and shamed!
Are we good? Did we get the shot?
That's a wrap fellas, we can go home.
All we gotta do now
Is run out the clock
Let's see how fast we can get through this game
It's a rental anyway
Damn thing...