Long day

Too long

Too many long days

And I wonder

Will all this effort be worth it?

What will be the moments that I can stand back and look at with pride?

What days will stand out to them?

Will I scar them?

Will I make the right decisions?

I don't want to make the mistakes of my family...

They cost us a life and I can't bare that for them...

I must be better, do better, put more effort out.

Yell less

Love more

Devote every bit of self

And in the end, I can rest when I'm dead.

Women have the best

Shoes

Women have the best

Clothes

Women have the best

Friends

Women have the best

Hair

Women have the best

Minds

Women have the best

Bodies

Women have the best

Dreams

Women have the best

Fingernails

Women have the best

Underwear

Women have the best

Perfume

Women have the best

Judgement

Women have the best

Lips

Women have the best

Orgasms

Men have the best Women.

Woken by laughter

After sleeping past 8

Warm kisses

Little hands hold my face

Ask so sweetly if I'm awake

The smell of bacon and coffee

To the table

Disheveled and beautiful

The park

The beach

The water

Outside in the sunshine

The sun to warm my skin

The loves to warm my heart

Afternoon naps

Dimly lit

black and white movies

Wisps of sun

Peeking through the shades

Rested and drowsy to the kitchen

My mood molds my dish

And perfection

On faces

After first bites and clean plates

After dinner dancing

Rocking ever growing babies

In my arms

My little dance partners

My dance partner for life

Twirl of a girl

Hum of a him

Happily fall into bed

Tired and well fed

Dreams creep

Fall to sleep

Wake up to do it again

There are strangers who overhear you say a funny thing thing once, and they laugh.

And there are those who often listen to you try to make them laugh, and often they do.

And there are those with whom the relationship is more eclectic, and you can safely talk about life as well as nonsense.

And there are those who are just like the last group, except politics and religion are added to the safe topics list.

And there are those who feel some amount of love for you.

And there are those who automatically start missing you hard around the 27-day mark if you haven't spoken that recently.

And there are those who remember the things you say, even the parts you did not anticipate would be memorable.

And there are those you mean the world to.

And there are those who have spent some time imagining what life would have been like if they never found you, but thank God they did.

I am one of those who believe that to have a little bit of each of these in your life...

...is way more fulfilling than having a lot and/or none of any of them.

sprawled out in his bed

as he counted all of my freckles

(74 to be exact)

the aroma of his incense

drowned my thoughts

memories of you

flooding every crevice of my mind

as if I just saw you yesterday

(even though it's been 248 days since you've died)

(not that I'm counting)

Gasoline, orange blossoms, sun tan lotion, coffee, the ocean, the paws of my dog, a new book, puppy breath, baby hair, Vicks Inhalers, Captain Black tobacco when passing a person smoking a pipe, the skin of a sexy woman, steaks broiling, the after-smell of a soapy shower, hot laundry, bakeries, good whiskey, citrus candles, new car, sulfur.