"I'm Sorry.' Two words. Yet, in them holds immense power. They release the crushing guilt within, lifting an invisible weight from your shoulders. The words heal wounds left on a injured soul, erasing the scars. They mend relationships, rebuild connections and fix broken links between us. They are our second chances, our "do overs." Two words. So, Dearest Reader, here is my list of "two words"........ is it too much to ask for forgiveness?

I'm sorry for believing in love; I was a fool for thinking such a thing existed beyond fairytales. 

I'm sorry for the arguments and disagreements; I was selfish for wanting the attention of another. 

I'm sorry for comforting you; I tricked you into a false sense of security in a world that will tear you apart without question. 

I'm sorry for confiding my problems in you; I gave you a burden of troubles to hold.

I'm sorry for ignoring your cries for help, I was lost in my own world.

I'm sorry for not living up to your expectations. 

I'm sorry for letting you down....you were all counting on me. 

I'm sorry for allowing my anger to mold into a blade that I wielded without hesitation. 

I'm sorry for the lonely conversations I have in my head; I've lost myself. 

I'm sorry for being mad at you, you just wanted the best for yourself. 

I'm sorry for misjugding you and the knife I stabbed in your back....after all, you didn't know you were hurting me

I'm sorry for bothering you as I did, I misunderstood and thought we were friends.

I'm sorry for the late nights we spent talking, you must have wanted to sleep.

I'm sorry for approaching you that day, you weren't supposed to take it in that way.

I'm sorry for trampling the world beneath my feet as I walk.

I'm sorry for breaking the silence of the night with my words. 

I'm sorry for interupting the peace with my falling footsteps. 

I'm sorry for disrespecting the moon by crying through the night. 

I'm sorry for insulting the sun by sinning throughout the day. 

I'm sorry for the times I've raised my voice.

I'm sorry for the words I say.

I'm sorry for the space I take up.

I'm sorry for breathing.

I'm sorry for living. 

I'm sorry........for everything.

Now I've said my two words......but do I really deserve to be forgiven?

At school I learned to work hard, to reach my goals and succeed,

But not how to cope with my world crumbling before my eyes,

Leaving me confined within my own mind, tortured by my thoughts

They taught me to make friends,

But not that those friendly faces I would learn to love

Were nothing more than carefully crafted masks

I was taught to be myself, to not care what they thought,

Not that when I revealed my imperfections;I’d be left vulnerable to society’s labels

Fat, ugly, stupid, slut, whore-just another victim betrayed by my own

They told us bullying was wrong,

Yet we were never taught compassion, kindness and love

Leaving us trapped in a never ending cycle of “accidents”, “misunderstandings” and hatred

I was taught to ask questions and ask for help when I don’t understand

Not how to find someone that will listen and support without judgment,

When my own heart, shattered like glass, is cutting me; causing me to bleed out

So thank you society, thank you school,

You have prepared me for the future well-the future you chose for me,

One where we're nothing but mindless robots void of emotion-blindly following others

There will come a day, when we will give up fighting, give up resisting you

All traces of our humanity will cease to exist

We will mold into the people you want us to be…. Your wish come true

But I have not yet given up hope; I've only learned the moral to my story

Humans are murderers of kind hearts, uniqueness and originality

Their attempts at help and guidance are meaningless compulsories

I'm alone in this world, forced to find my own path, to become the person I choose

On my own; I will learn the ways of the world

On my own; I will create my own identity, free of your judgment 

And only alone will I thrive 

It's when something solid inside, something that you knew would always be there for you, something that you were once so dependent on, suddenly shatters like glass. The pieces left behind are sharp and jagged, they cut you, draw blood, hurt you, but yet you will always  try to pick up those pieces, attempting to make what you lost whole again. Blood,Tears,Frustration. You will continue to hurt yourself, revisiting the pain until you go numb and cease to feel anything. Then, you’re just hollow in the inside, a shell of what you used to be. You are reduced to nothing. 

It's the the dark, pulsing creature residing in your chest, composed of jealousy, hatred and sorrow. The monster that feeds off your failure and broken spirit. It amuses itself by squeezing your heart, flushing out any traces of hope and willing you to give up. It pounds against your insides and howls in pain, demanding attention; a trap set to ensnare you in a void of desolation. A beast that cannot be fought without bringing harm upon yourself in the process, as it resides in the darkest part of your soul. 

It's the remnants of broken promises, forgotten apologies and harsh words. The  lonelines

felt even in a crowded room filled with conversation. It's the twisting of the stomach when reminiscing fond memories. The empty quiet between claps of thunder and flashes of lightning on a stormy night. The sensation of eyes locking then quickly skirting away; the very essence of a teenage life. 

Dearest reader, it's when you absorb these words and connect to the emotions they convey.  Do not despair. "Time will heal a broken heart."

Darkness fell over the busy streets of New York, snowflakes fluttered playfully in the air, and the fallen snow crunched crisply under the bustling feet of people hurrying from place to place. Despite the hustled air clinging to the city, one house stood silent in an isolated corner of the municipality, lying at the intersection of The Green Junction and St. Mary street. Desolation and despair draped the dwelling like a cloak, the gnarled wood rotting with age and the roof crumbling as if it had given up hope. Within, a young boy buried his face in his pillows, attempting to disappear to escape his troubles. Ignorant to the fact that their son was listening, his parents continued to shriek at each other, their voices laced with years of stress and frustration, their words as sharp as knives.

“Daniel can’t know.........!”

“How can we get a divorce now...... the funds!”

In the room above, Daniel pressed his head to a pillow, trying to block the discordant sound with no luck. Tears streamed down his pale, shrunken cheeks and his frail body shuddered as his violent sobs overtook him. He rose, taking in his reflection in the mirror propped up against a wall. His once emerald green eyes were rimmed with red, his jet black hair was tousled and sticking up in every direction. He realized he looked injured, so pathetic, so weak .......he was worthless, unable to advocate peace in the war between his loved ones. The stray tears were wiped away by his hands, now clenched into shaking fists. Daniel looked up to meet the eyes in his reflection again, fiery anger burning away his sorrow, leaving only a restless fire in his bones and the thirst for redemption.

A Month Later........

Daniel swaggered through the aged, blue striped hallways of Elk High School. Headphones that blared heavy metal were stuffed in his ears and dangled to connect to the iPod in the pocket of his baggy sweatpants. A hood masked his face, and as he walked his eyes never left the ground. This was his suit of armor, his defense.

Around him, his peers conversed merrily, whispering, exchanging secrets, and laughing as they enjoyed each other's company. Friends met each other by the lockers, giving out high fives and grinning broadly. A mischievous bunch were sprawled on the floor in fits of uncontrollable giggles as their teacher jokingly chastised them for the prank they pulled on another staff member. Daniel’s insides turned as the hole in his heart widened, yearning to be filled with the joy and glee around him. He shook his head, turning up the volume to tune out the world, for he knew that it would never even be a possibility. His once solid heart was broken, shattered like glass. The pieces that were left are sharp, jagged and whenever he tries to put them back together, he gets cut, he gets hurt, he bleeds. So he gave up on himself, he stopped trying. He’s hollow on the inside, a shell of who he used to be, where there was once light and hope for a future, is now a void of darkness, swallowing any good that comes his way and leaving a restless beast that snarls at the world.

Daniel strutted to the side of the school housing the lockers of his grade. As the rust- eaten locker door creakily swung open and Daniel piled his books into his arms, he felt a chill go up his spine. He was being watched. Turning, he found multiple eyes trained on him, staring with pity. Colour rising to his cheeks, the troubled teen briskly made his way to his class, fury bubbling in the pit of his stomach. These people with their perfect lives, how dare they regard him like he was a character on a reality t.v show, like the drama in his life was their entertainment, something they could gossip about. They would never understand his pain, at the end of the day they would all return to their happy lives, at the end of the day they will always have someone who loved them. He didn’t need their fake sympathy, the things they did to make themselves feel better, not him. People believe that once they asked if someone was alright, they have done their duty, they have completed some unwritten code of civic responsibility; he didn’t need to be a way for people to validate themselves.

Abruptly, the grim thoughts swirling around Daniel’s mind were cut off. A mob of long, dusty brown hair and pink stumbled into him, knocking him to the ground. The slightly chubby girl quickly got to her feet in excitement to embrace her petite, dirty blond friend across the hallway.The blond murmured something to the girl that bumped into him, causing both of them to glance at him, their faces molded into masks of sympathy.

“Oh I’m so sorry again”, the brunette called, she looked as if she wanted to say more but then thought better of it, instead she shook her head. “That poor kid”, she said to her friend in a loud whisper as the pair walked away.

“Poor kid”, Daniel repeated bitterly to himself in a low mumble. At that moment, he swore never to be that “poor kid”..... even if that meant showing the monster inside to the world.

The school bell tolled, marking the end of the day. The hallways emptied, the students slowly trickling out through the exits. Daniel slung his backpack over his shoulder as he glared intensely at anyone who dared to meet his gaze. He stalked to the large set of double doors that led to the snowy outdoors, tripping people along the way and shoving to make his way through the crowd. Darkness rippled off him in waves, causing those he touched to recoil as if they could sense the evil consuming him. Daniel fed off the fear, enjoying the startled expressions of those around him. For once he’s being noticed, and it’s not for being the “poor kid” with family troubles.

Just as he reached out to grab the metal door handle, he felt a warm hand adorned with nail polish fall on his shoulder. The brunette from earlier that morning stood, a smile plastered on her face. “I can help you”, she claimed brightly. Those four words she uttered were the trigger, something inside Daniel snapped at that moment. Before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed the girl by the wrist and slammed her back against a set of lockers. She cried out upon impact and crumpled to the ground, eyeing the boy with terror like prey may regard its predator. Daniel slowly approached her, his eyes flitting to the bulge around her abdomen, smirking as he leaned in to murmur scornful remarks that sent tears streaming down the girl’s face. Stepping back to regard the girl sprawled across the floor, Daniel felt a sense of satisfaction. Now she understands, now she feels as helpless as I do, now you will know that warm words can never melt this kind of pain.

He took a moment to take in the shocked faces staring at him, pleased because he knew that the rumors of his actions would spread like wildfire. “I’d rather be hated by all then seen as someone to be pitied”, he thought to himself. Swinging open the double doors and stepping into the biting cold, he made his way back home; he looked forward to the hour he spent after school where neither of his parents was home.

As Daniel’s house came into view, he caught a glimpse of a figure standing at his door. The figure turned, caught sight of him, then flew down the street, blond mane whipping in the wind. Daniel sped after her, fighting against the snow, but as he reached his house the girl was out of his field of vision. Shaking his head in confusion, he unlocked the wooden door, almost slipping on a white, folded letter. In a matter of seconds it was ripped open and Daniel’s eyes were hungrily devouring each word with a burning curiosity. It read:

Dear Daniel,

I know you don’t know me, but I need you to hear me out, there is something you should know. My best friend, that girl you bullied about her weight? She’s anorexic, she cuts herself each night because she hates herself, she doesn’t think others accept her for the way she looks. She starves herself by day, in the hope of being that perfect girl society wants..... Unaware of how wonderful she is already. Her family is in financial ruin, things are hard to come by in her household. But despite all she suffers, despite the heartbreak, despite the pain.... She still faces the world with a smile. She fakes a laugh so no one will see her breaking soul reflected in her eyes. She’s the kindest girl I know, whenever someone is down she's the first to help, though she has no one to do the same for her. I can tell you're going through a hard time..... But you should know that everyone is fighting an inner battle, everyone gets hurt because that battle, big or small, eats away at them, leaving them in agony. It’s how you fight your battle, how you deal with the heartbreak that determines your strength of character and the kind of person you are.

-Carla

P.S: My Bestfriend’s name is Kira, I think you owe her an apology.

With tears in his face and the guilt of his actions on his shoulders, Daniel took off back into the cold night, in order to make what was wrong right again.

15 years later.........

The banquet hall was decorated in breathtaking golds and whites, like a scene straight from a fairy tale. Guests danced and mingled, showing off their exquisite attire, from multiple shades of evening dresses, to ball gowns, to handsomely tailored tuxedos. The candles flickered dimly, casting mysterious shadows over the scene, yet still allowing the crystals in the chandeliers to twinkle playfully. The prince and princess of this fairytale both stood at the altar at the head of the room, taking their vows. The prince looked at his princess, gazing at her soft brown hair curled at her shoulders, swept to the side by her tiara. He loved this girl, the one who brought him out of his despair and brought out the best in him with her own radiating kindness and compassion. She was the one who taught him how to love, how to forgive and how to fight. She taught him how to see the best in people, that a few kind words and a open heart can change the world. She was the reason he’s the person he is today, and looking at her now he could find no flaws. Because of her, he sees his parents happily watching from the audience, wiping away their tears of joy. Because of her, he was the victor in his hidden battle, she helped slay the beast inside and mend the fractures of his broken heart.

“Kira, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband”, the minister boomed.

...........

“I do”

“Daniel, do you take this women to be your lawfully wedded wife”

...........

“I do”

With their answers and beaming smiles, they sealed their fate; they were free to write their own happily ever after.