Hi, I'm Jenn but people call me Cloudy. This is my journal, in reading this you are learning about me as a person. My past, present, and dreams fill the pages. This book is divided into sections. Each section marked by a prologue. Follow me on this journey through my life.

-Cloudy

This will be the start of my online journal. My name is Jenn, but I go by Cloudy. This account was part of an assignment given to me by a teacher. In knowing how much I write she suggested I entered contests. So I searched everywhere and I found myself here. I decided to make a journal while I worked on my other writing projects for a reason I do not yet know. I will admit, I never took a proper English grammar class. But my writing is my soul. When I write, everything just flows out of me, when I want to cry, my writing is my tears. When I’m happy my writing is my laughter. It knows the deepest parts of me that even I can’t quite place. I am currently working on a book about the supernatural and the depths of hell. At the same time I am entering challenges every day and writing my poetry. For a long time, I saw my poetry as a guilty pleasure.

Two years ago I almost died, and I threw all my sketchbooks, journals, paintings, awards, music in a fire. And every day I regret and am proud of that choice. The child I was then was insecure and didn’t understand what being happy meant. My drawings were full of gore, my writings were full of self harm and blood stained pages, my paintings were dark and lonely, my awards reminded me of what I thought would be the last time I’d ever make my parents proud, my music was dull and inspirationless. These were my chains. I forced myself into the fine arts because I needed an outlet. But all I wanted was to be happy, an emotion I felt was lost.

My art is no longer one sided. It gives back to me. And so do those who read and encourage me. I don’t intend to be a professional in any of my fine art aspects. But I do intend to keep writing in my freetime. And my experiences allow me to do so.

So, of course, I did the most Jenn-like thing possible. I got the date wrong! But, I have an excuse. Are you ready? Of course you are! Duh! Ok so this is what happened...

So I really DON’T have an excuse. I just didn’t look at the date. Oh well. *Shrugs*. I’m not really one for correcting “mistakes” because they aren’t mistakes. They’re clumsy errors and a part of me. I don’t know whether I’m actually being funny or not, these things just happen. Like, someone will ask me something and I’ll casually respond “Sorry, I don’t have my glasses.” What I really mean is “Hold on lemme take my earbuds out.”

I guess I’m just a strange person. Maybe I ride too much and lost too many brain cells, is that possible from doing horseback? Probably not, but maybe! Or, or! I bleached my hair one too many times! Or! I accidentally dyed my brain blue! Maybe it’s a teenage thing. That seems more likely. But I like the idea of having a blue brain.

I should write a short story based on the premise of “What if everybody in the world got the date wrong.” And have it end with it snowing in the middle of an American July. Oh well. Ideas for another day.

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I just finished my seventh chapter of my current project “The Journal of Young Eliot Riddle”. I’m super proud of what I have written and the basis of the book just keeps growing. I wanted to take some time to talk about it considering it is my biggest piece on this site so far.

However, I have big plans for it and if I talk about it I’m likely to spill! It’s been so hard not to tell anybody about my plans for it so far! All I have to say is that.... I actually typed something here and realized it is a huge spoiler so I just won’t say anything. However, I’m super psyched that so many people are supporting my book and giving me encouraging words while I write.

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So I'm adding page breaks everytime I edit this, as I find new things to write about. So: I am starting a new project while I work through writers block and I think some of you guys may really enjoy it. I am currently writing AT HOME for the first time since joining prose *Gasp!* I know! Big step considering how terrified I am of my family to know the real me. They'd tell you that this is not who I am. That I'm always high strung and ready to break down. Except; I'm really not. I just write my own stories in my head and kill my characters off in brutal ways that they never deserved. I don't know where I was going with this, like AT ALL. Oh well. OH my family! Yes. My family believes my writing is me getting stuck inside my head. That the author of my works is not Jenn. But Jenn's depression. I don't know if that makes quite a lot of sense. But Eh.

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So, does anyone know how to adjust something thats been added to a book? Because I keep getting the "Only Gold Pricing users can use that pricing strategy." Except I don't charge for my works, especially not my journal.

-Clouds

#journal #humor #humour #comedy #adayinthelife #help #depression #funny

Today is monday, which means; I am back to writing again. Just like school, I take the weekends off. Weekends are the only time I can hang out with my friends. Just like many others, my friends are online friends. Unfortunately this means we’re quite a ways apart. I don’t really mind that they’re so far away, because to me, they’re still my friends. To tell the truth, I don’t get along with the people in my town, and I don’t quite care to. I’ve always been mature for my age. I think it’s part of why I don’t go to the regular high school. I don’t care who’s dating who, who cheated, who’s popular, who’s not. I just don’t care. I don’t really hang out with girls either, I can’t exactly pinpoint why, but it might have something to do with the fact that I don’t care about petty problems. I’ve always been tired of the drama. I’ve cut a lot of people off from my life because all they did was bring me drama. Needless to say this gave me a reputation of being a “bitch”. Since leaving the high school, my life has been healthier. I would use the word careless, but there’s such a negative connotation that comes with it. I really have no way to explain how my life has been bettered, but everything that once caused me problems has diminished. Only one thing came with cutting so many people out of my life, loneliness.

For those of you who read my book, The Journal of Young Eliot Riddle, I will start uploading in parts. This is due to the fact that I also have my new project, My Darling Shadow, starting. I can’t guarantee there will be a new part everyday, so please just bear with me. My Darling Shadow will also be uploaded in parts. When/if I finish these works, I will redo the entire project and organize into chapters. I’m sorry for those of you who enjoy the full chapters but I promise this will make the works better in the end, due to having a second editing phase. I’m so happy and thankful for those of you who follow my works. Part of this is due to the mobile app, being unable to work on more than one work at once, as I usually write at the library. Writer’s block is a true struggle so when I’m blocked on one I transfer to the other. When this occurs I will post the part of whichever I’m blocked on and work on another. When my book, The Journal of Young Eliot Riddle, is finished (I’m set on finishing it,) I will tag those of you, who support me and give me encouragement to keep writing on the Author’s note. If you wish for me not to mention you, let me know. I also have writings on Wattpad that I may transfer over to this site, but I haven’t decided yet.

I decided to start writing when I was struggling with depression. My first works included, a fantasy, yaoi, and yuri. Once I got into high school I started writing poetry. I filled journals upon journals which never touched the eyes of those other than me. Out of about eight journals, I have one left. Out of all my sketchbooks, I have one left. Most artists of any sorts would gasp at the thought of their art being thrown away. And as of now, I do too. But I don’t regret throwing my old stuff in a fire. It allowed me to better my writing. Move on from where I was stuck. It was a new beginning for me. One I desperately needed.

Happy tuesday everyone. I am proud to say that my first part of My Darling Shadow is now available. I will link it below to those of you willing to read it. I don’t believe I am going to write a new part for either of my works today. This week is quite busy for me so I don’t know if I will be able to update at all tomorrow or for the next few days.

Everytime I post a piece of my work on this site something inside me is happy. I wouldn’t be able to share my work without all the trials I’ve had to deal with. I guess I don’t have much to say today.

Why hello my lovelies! I'm sorry it has been so long since I have posted an update, or written anything. There has been a lot going on in my life that has left me at a mental roadblock. I have also started to fall behind in school so I have been working like clockwork. October is also one of my busiest months considering I am a Special Effects Make-up Artist. Wow is that a mouthful. I truly am sorry for being unable to update anything for the last few weeks. I intend to get back into the swing of things very soon so please be patient.

-Cloudy

Well, here we are, over a month later. And how many updates have I done? 0. A big fat zero. I am unsure whether this is due to writer's block, or due to it being holiday season and thus the most stressful time of the year. Honestly, I thought that meant that I would write more. I've started to write in the past month but, frankly, everything I have produced has been dull and boring. I'm also being haunted? So that's a thing. Yes, I believe in ghosts and yes I whole-heartedly believe I am being haunted. So I don't need the comments about "GHOSTS AREN'T REAL!1!!!!11!!" I understand others have different beliefs but don't try to discount what's going on.

I'm dealing with quite a lot as well, this time two years ago I lost two people very close to me. My best friend and my papa. Both were great people. I've been greatly struggling with this. I wouldn't expect a complete update until probably January.

So, to hilariously begin, I almost titled this "February 14th, 2019" I guess that counts as a sneak peek to what I am currently working on for those of you that actively follow my stories. On a different note it is the two-year anniversary of the day my papa passed. It is a rough day, yes, but I ask for no sympathy. I could sit and tell the story of our last conversation together, it would surely result in me breaking down into tears. Or I could tell the stories of how he's been haunting me, with reminders that he cares and worries. I could tell stories of just him. But, a part of me feels he wouldn't want me to focus on the past, and instead focus on the now. So I shall change the topic officially.

I am currently thinking about starting a new project of a crime story, I wonder if it is noticable that I have been watching quite a bit of Criminal Minds lately. My issue with this is I have a lot of villianesque characters planned out and one thing I'm horrible with is names. I'm also a person who *has* to get facts right. Even in fiction writing. There's a story I have been working on for multiple years, in which I am constantly consulting my friend who has experience as a doctor, about facts. However, although I am close with people who have worked in the law, some questions I just worry about asking, especially if I want to write about a serial killer. I get that I am already writing about a serial killer in complete fantasy-fiction. However it is different because in this idea of a project I want there to be a detective side to the story.

I might publish part of my journal from when I was in a rehabilitation facility as well as in the hospital. This will be in a completely different category than the one's I currently have. This is due to the fact that there are triggering topics, but it's also a dated journal. This section will be at the end of my online journal (what you are currently reading). It also doesn't pertain to writing ideas such as these journal entries. I think thats all I have for today.

-Cloudy

Okay, so my newest post "The Stranger from Way Back When" is purely fiction. Please do not freak out about it, I didn't feel like this would be necessary but... you know. People will believe all sorts of things. It is purely fiction and has no correlation to any person(s) and (or) events. Now that I have that taken care of.

Please do not advertise your works to me or anyone else through my posts. This is my page and I don't appreciate things being shoved in my face.

Yes! I have a new profile picture! Yay! Please do not use my face as a basis for your comments, I do not appreciate it. If I wanted feedback on my face I'd post in the reddit's roast me section.

I think that is it for today...

-Cloudy