Even if people don't always come back,
The sun will.
And so will the joy.
The earth feels moist in my hands as I pat the soil down, this plant needed tending to.
It’s a piece of ginger root I planted some time ago its sprouts are now strong and tall and green.
As I continue to pat the soil down I realize a lesson I’ve been learning for the past few years starting from this point in my past:
After picking bad people to surround myself I decided I no longer needed friends.
I’d alienated my family.
I was alone.
I’d been violated and worse than that, I’d starting finding ways to hurt myself further.
Isolating myself was just one more step in this direction.
I bought plants because some blog somewhere said this can help with depression.
I woke up, I went to work, I came home, I went to sleep.
I hardly ate, I was barely alive and nothing more.
the plants began to die.
Splotchy yellow leaves, drooping with the weight of poor care.
I couldn’t even take care of myself but I was determined to take care of these damn plants.
So, I watered them, worked to bring them back to life - these plants became my purpose.
My plants started to grow again, still traumatized but alive.
I quit my miserable job. I studied my ass off to pass a test in order to get the job I wanted.
I failed that test 3 times.
Still, my plants were beginning to thrive.
Eventually after much failure and then a final success I got the job.
I made friends, good friends.
I met good humans. The kind of friends who shine light on the pieces of myself I’ve refused to see, the kind of friends who helped me learn how love me.
My plants were lonely I realized, so I bought more - the collection growing slowly over time.
I began to eat more, to stretch more, to breathe more.
I broke up with my boyfriend. He was a piece of shit.
Still, I held onto my plants. I’d put too much time and effort in to let them die now. I’d invested in them the same way I began investing in myself.
I got my own place, plants and all.
I found myself.
All of my yellow splotchy, wilting leaves began to fall. I was growing anew.
Love found its way into my life.
I take care of my plants, I take care of myself.
As I pat down the soil of this plant I am reminded, all of my trauma is a part of me.
Just like this plant that is now 5 years old, I too can come back from the brink of death, I too can live again.
Not just live but thrive.
The thing about ginger root is, after you plant it you don’t see a sprout for a few weeks to a few months. You can’t check to see if the roots are growing or you’ll risk jeopardizing the plant. You have to water it, give it light, and wait.
I thrive now because I invested in myself and I never lost hope that one day I’d emerge from the Earth and keep growing, never stopping in my pursuit of light.
The old woman is sitting at her vanity table, frowning in front of the mirror, manipulating the deep lines she sees cradling her tired green eyes and the ample frame bordering her thin crinkled lips with her fingers like a sculptor searching for the face of a lost subject.
"Where have you gone?" She whispers, reminiscing, somewhat tearfully about her lost youthful beauty. Startling her, her husband of forty years steps into the reflection of the mirror behind her and she casts her eyes downward turning a shade of rose at the thought of him having seen her lament.
He approaches her and strokes her gray crown lovingly, then places his arthritic clenched fist softly against her cheek and says,
"I didn't marry your beautiful shell. I married your beautiful soul. My love for you is ageless."
And she looks up swallowing both of their last words spoken.
I just would like to thank you all for the time and sweat taken from you to teach us so we can grow up to be someone. Thank you from me and others we owe you guys everything we become is thanks to you. You did all of this for us it mens a lot to me. If I didn't have you guys to teach me I would be someone else and would grow up to be no one. Again thanks for it all I mean it I owe you guys. And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes but I know you're here to get me through it all. You helped me get through it all. I have someone to put my guard down to. I'm glad you were all there for me. I'm glad I had someone to numb all the pain and to escape from my life it helped. Thanks for having someone to turn to and heal all the pain. And I'm glad I had all of you to turn to when my grandpa died and I won't the superintendent know I love you guys you are all fantastic thank you.
Mellifluous. It sound so beautiful and charming, like the way that the birds chirp at dawn, the colours of the sunrise perched on their small plumed shoulders. Sweet and enjoyable, nature's own lullaby.
Have you ever heard of the turquoise- browed motmot? Its song is mellifluous. It is a stunning bird of paradise that can be found in South America, known as torogoz. They live in dense rainforests to hide their beautiful plumage. They have a turquoise brow, as their name suggests, but the thing that I believe is the most wonderful about them is their tail plumage. The top of the tail closest to the body has flat feathers of a bright blue colour, while the end of its tail is, in my opinion, shaped like a tulip. The feathers encircle each other to form a flower shape that is hollow in the middle.
But why am I telling you all this? The turquoise- browed motmot is just one of the infinite things in life that are irresistably beautiful, and they bring tears of joy. But the most delightful and lovliest things in life cannot be seen with the eyes, they cannot be heard with the ears.
They are felt by the heart.
Of The Unconditional
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Of A Mother And Son
When he was eleven
she handed him over
to be turned to a man.
He cried up to heaven.
Innocence was over.
Since then, he's tried to stand.
She is now eighty-four,
cannot see, cannot hear,
but will not accept help.
He, pulling from his core,
love, is forever near,
though she may call him whelp.
Thanks my friends: Alec and Tia, thanks mom and my respected professor. It means a lot to me. I'm really grateful for all of your constant support. Because of continuous struggle of all of you, I have finally managed to get a C in maths. Got rid of constant D.
Something to happy cry about
Someone loves you enough to die, to rise again, to set you free, He calls you beautiful and valued, to Him you mean everything, He longs to embrace you He won't let go His Name is Jesus someone to happy cry about :)
there is nothing akin in my mind
nothing that sparks my tangled neurons
so much as
the knowledge that
were dreamed up
by the irrational forces of the universe
and the holiness of chance
these unfeeling entities had enough
scraps of cosmic fabric to make us
and they made us together
we were concieved into the same universe
the mothers and fathers of mortals
we were born
and in our first breath
we began to cry
overhwelmed by the knowledg
and the sheer
we get to exist together
In the long shopping line the adult says to the young girl impatiently waiting in the shopping cart, "How old are you?"
The girl stops moving impatiently and replies, "I am 3."
Adult says, "When will you be 4?"
Girls looks innocently and smiles, "When I am done being 3."