I sit here with my memories

With notes and pens and things to say

Yet the lines keep getting blurrier and the pain takes my thoughts away.

I think of my beloved ones

I hold an image close

and then I start to articulate

exactly what it's meant

to be their friend, mother, lover, wife.

And I can truly say that even though I'll be gone, but not so for my love.

I'd tell them through my printed page

that each and every year I tried to better myself for them

to equal what they've given me

and caused me to become.

So they would know that I was gone, but not my love.

The words came quicker than the ink

but finally it was complete,

I had written every single thing

to tell them how I felt

and they would have the chance to hear my voice although I'm gone.

They would have the opportunity to hang upon my every word

because there are, oh, so many words written on the page

And because the ink I chose is permanent they will always know one thing: I'll be gone away from them, but not so for my love.

I was gone,

but not my love,

for you.

You weren't gone,

but your love,

for me,

vanished into vapor.

27.6.2020

The backdrop of incredible opening. Space is opening up gradually. A big opening of blue water. The sky and water are all connecting. That blue lady coming back again. With her blue magic wand she’s waving and erasing off all the unpleasant, painful memories within her heart. Let all the weights of sorrows, worries, and veils of life falling, drifting away into the air, life supposed to be celebrated. She blew up a rainbow arch, on top of the arch, she saw her dear old cat proudly standing there, waving her last goodbye to Mama kitty, looking at her with infinite love and care. Farewell my dear beloved companion, may the loving wings of your creator be always by your side, carrying you to the most beautiful kingdom you well-deserved, where there’s no pain, no sorrow, hunger or unfair judgement. May you flourish as a big beautiful flower and beautiful child of god, as you always are.

The rainbow band carrying mama kitty, slowly spinning forward, with the shape of DNA double helix, like pair of angel wings, onwards towards light, until mama kitty became just a dot of green light, merging into the infinite white light up onward, ocean of bliss...

I am free

He is gone

Yet after so many years in each other’s lives

The love sometimes lingers on

Then remember something bad

The anger builds

Making me sad