About the Author of ‘Almost Ready to Print’
Mac One, author of the “Almost Ready to…” series, is an observer of human nature who records chitchat and often asks people to repeat parts that he missed while eavesdropping on other conversations. In addition to “Almost Ready to Print,” Mac has almost written “Almost Ready to Buckle My Seat Belt,” “Almost Ready to Hang Up on a Telemarketer,” and an almost romantic novel, “Almost Ready to Propose, Just Give Me a Few More Years.”
About the Author (Only, the Majority of the Information is on the Author’s Sense of Humor, Since this is a Humorous Piece)
Evelyn Dawn is (probably) a human being who lives on the face of the planet. As you could have assumed from the fact you’re reading a book she wrote, Evelyn loves writing. She also enjoys reading and making bad animatics. This is literally everything Evelyn can say about herself, since anything anyone writes about their own personality would likely be inaccurate. Oh, did you not know that in many recent About the Author sections the author writes about themselves in the third person? That’s a little odd.
SLIP INTO HER SEA: And she became...
... a trauma-induced insomniac finding solace solely by recording her emotions compulsively in short story and poetic formats. The trauma from that profound occurrence eight years ago shaped and shadowed this collection, but an accumulation of every slash- physical, emotional, or mental -that she has endured in her 32 years made it tangible. An etymological roadmap, it navigates through her loss, her irrational wishes, her mind’s labyrinth. It recounts the hardships of her life; fear and distrust early on and battles against addiction and madness later. It’s a fantastically raw, disquieting expedition through the dark elements of the human condition.
ROB LEE is an acronym for ROBotic Letter Election Equipment, a device created by professors at Cloudsville Theoretical University. They wanted to prove that enough monkeys at enough typewriters could produce a line of Shakespeare, and deduce how many monkeys were required. Unfortunately, they were denied the grant for bananas. Instead, they developed software which would produce a random string of 327,811 letters. This is the result. (The undergraduates were left with the task of placing the punctuation.)
About The Author (Because People Definitely Read These Things)
Rosemandle is a pseudonym. (Thankfully, because otherwise she would have endured a lot of teasing growing up.) Rose loves to read books, eat food, and watch really old Disney Channel shows that aired when she was 8. Currently, she is attempting to simultaneously write the next hit YA novel, a breakup song, and bingewatch everything on Disney+ before the summer is over. She has no idea what she wants to be when she grows up, and will figure that out later.
A 15-Year Old Soul With Old Tastes
1912Writer, in the name, looks old. His profile picture is also three ships from the distant past. Very, very old. But in real life, 1912Writer is a high school student who will turn 15 soon. Despite his age, he does like old cars, old ships, and old music.
Make sure to greet him a happy birthday. It'll be coming in a few days.
The pox of vox, the gutteral utteral, the jokalization of vocalization, and the final glottal stop.