Pause
Pause. I could pause the laughter on my little sister's face, capturing the memory. I could pause a time where I want to scream at someone, knowing it wouldn't do any good, so I can get it out of my system without hurting them. I could pause a time when a friend says something that requires an amazing comeback, and have a flawless one within "seconds". I could pause a time when I can't get to sleep until four in the morning and sleep for hours, then unpause it so I can get enough sleep. There are just so many possibilities with a pause button.
Rewind
Time passes too quickly.
All to aware of what will be missed.
A laugh, a smile. The annoying habits of the ones you love most. Your sweet dog slipping into old age. Suddenly you notice how grey your fathers hair is. How your little brother has turned into a man. Tears fall as you turn through photos of your smiling self at ages 3, 6, 12. Wishing you could go back. Rewind. To enjoy the freedom of childhood with the eyes of an adult.
I understand where the desire for Rewind comes from, but I consider myself fortunate to feel such a preference for Pause.
After years of "being" a writer, which occurs some unpredictable amount of years after beginning to write, I have conditioned myself to recognize memorable moments as they are occurring.
I have become a photographer in recent years -- and what is a photograph but a possibly artistic Pause button for the eyes?
If Rewind be your preference, do ask yourself one question: what about the ability to press such a button grants you the ability to do things differently the "next" time? What if your doomed to repeat the same mistake again, only this time you are both cognizant of and powerless to it? Worse yet, what if you doomed to rectify one mistake in exchange for an even worse one?
No, give me my life. Give me its blessings and its curses. Give me me.
Then let me Pause it at just the right time so I may look at her face a little longer before the sun fully sets.
Rewind button.
A button, to rewind life.
There are many places I could go...
to my graduation
to my first boyfriend
to my first kiss
to my first pet
to my first bike
to my first scrape.
Instead, I go to my eight year old self.
"Do not wish your life away, young one. You have years ahead of you that bring sorrow and pain. Right now, all I ask of you is to live in the moment."
It depends on how the rewind button works. If I can take back every mistake and wrong choice I have made I would no doubt take that option; who wouldn’t? If it only replays then no way!
I don’t want to live in the past, thank-you very much. If that is the case I would choose the pause button so I could have time to think about the words I’m going to say and the decision I’m going to make.
Pause so I can spend just a little longer in those perfect fleeting moments and so I get to say my goodbyes to all the people in my life that have to go.
To Go back
Secretly I would love to have a rewind
it would I could see
mess with my mind
though I'd rewind
to a lovely time
I would rewind when I was sad
an probably on days
I was going mad
to the best of times
I've ever had
Its better I leave it alone
but I can dream
and think about it some
my heart skips a beat
to think:
one more hour with "The One"!