I plead with myself

to stop talking in words

that make no sense,

raised eyebrows of delusion

as I struggle for perch

on my moon out of reach.

I sit on the brink

waiting for estranged gods

to rain darkness on my soul -

retaliation for the fight

I battle daily with myself,

waiting for the sword to fall

on my hidden thorns.

I wait for green leaves

of peace to head across

sharp rocks of violated reality

of the truths only I can see.

Intense heat of retaliation

masks my torment.

There is no room for me

in the red streams of

shameful heart as score

is settled and I bleed alone.

Retaliation is our way of communication.

It's the Love Language left out of the books.

It's a question, it's an answer,

it's a statement on its own.

It's heartbreak hiding beneath dirty looks.

It's giving you a taste of your own medicine.

It's the broken way I say, you hurt my feelings.

It's lessons learned, it's bridges burned,

It's the way the tables always turn.

It's yet another pitiful way I avoid dealing.

It's the icicles hanging in your coldest silence.

It's the steel in your cruelest tone of voice.

You adore me, you abhor me,

You always seem to ignore me.

It's your refusal to ever make an actual choice.

It's the girl you awoke next to this morning.

It's my name on your lips in a stranger's bed.

Anoher text sent, another truth bent,

Another promise with zero intent.

It's how you keep your selfish appetites fed.

Retaliation is a race with a photo finish.

Too close to tell who will be declared winner.

It's ego maintained, bitterness gained,

It's the memory of the loveliest pain.

It's Sunday forgiveness for Saturday's sinner.

It's faceless men I use to keep my heart safe.

It's your name on my lips in another's embrace.

It's dissatisfaction, laws of attraction,

It's the relentless pursuit of distraction.

It's a perfect dive, head first into my disgrace.

It's a childish game of who hits the hardest.

It's a foolish game of who gets the last word.

It's tit for tat, it's this for that,

Passive aggressive, covert attack.

It's every love story gone wrong you've ever heard.

Retaliation

you hurt me, I hurt you

action reaction

tit for tat

just desserts

a scoreboard of hurt

that never reaches a balance

Escalation

what you dished was more

than what I gave

I'll teach you

settle the score

up the ante

make you bleed

until you apologize to me

Incarceration

We're trapped in a game

where there's no winner

hurt breeds hurt

no healing end

two wrongs

can't make it right

only forgiveness can set us free