How many "friend-zone" guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw.

credit to Tumblr user vegansfuck

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and

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How many Hogwarts students does it take to change a light bulb?

6.

1 Slyterin to break it,

1 Gryffindor to volunteer to climb the ladder and change it,

3 Hufflepuffs to hold the ladder and insure the safety of the Gryffindor student,

and

1 Ravenclaw to point out that they could of used magic.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb really has to WANT to change.

or

How many cats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Are you kidding? They won't fit.