I hate lizards. I mean, I'm a shark. They got all the air to play with, and they gotta come down into my turf and chomp on fish? Come on. Fair's fair. Farking lizards.

You know what? A bunch of guys into the occult are having a seance and I'm going. We're gonna call down a big rock, a big big rock, and it's gonna slam them lizards good.

Farking lizards.

Permian, 290 million years ago.

I swam through the deep, dark seas, silent as a phantom. I was once the apex predator, until something bigger and more vicious came along.

What is my fate today, you ask.

I am no longer here. All that remains is my teeth encased in stone. But my descendants carry on my ferocious legacy.

#paleontology #sharks #sharkweek

We don’t need to move to rest. I don’t know why they started saying that or how it caught on. It always struck me as rather poor detective work on their part. They drop into my home unannounced, their fleshy bodies flopping about in the water, making all of my food friends flee, only to go completely still when they see me, as if I’ll suddenly think they’re just a piece of floating algae that’s temporarily misbehaving.

When I do decide to venture closer, to see what or who it is that has decided to bother me so, they burst into movement, lashing out with poles or flailing their way back to the surface and onto their little boats, only to come thrashing down again moments later in their strange steel boxes.

Eventually they leave, the metal teeth of their boats tearing into the water, causing ripples from their frenzy to wash over me. My mind will not quiet. I do not know when they’ll come again, when their pale little legs will once again start to dance upon my sky.

And so I swim, around and around until the pain in my neck is too much and I cannot turn my great white head anymore. I start to swim in rows. I can feel them watching.

Later on their boats, they’ll talk to each other grinning, high on their discovery, “This was conclusive. We’ve done it. They never stop moving. They rest as they go-- they never stop moving. We watched him for hours. At first we thought it erratic, but it seems as they grow tired at first they move in circles and then....”

I drift into the depths, my body a massive muscle that can’t relax, the sea behind me littered with the corpses of my food friends that they toss out into the water to taunt me. I feel some ancient hunger in me, but I will not shame myself by surviving on their charity. I will just drift. Deeper and deeper into the depths until my world is dark and timeless. I rest.

I'm just a little shark

On a pleasant little swim

I see pretty water

You see my fin

Whenever I meet you

You can't help but scream

But I'm just being friendly

I didn't mean a thing

I swim in deep oceans

I swim up above

I feel all warm inside

With a feeling of love

Would you ever know that

I guess you won't

Because I'm scary on the outside

And I like you, you don't

Anyways I'm sorry

For giving you a scare

But you were in my home

Just to be fair

But please come back

I'll be nice I swear!

This may be the ocean

But I'd still like to share (:

Sincerely,

Sharky the Friendly Shark

I'm hungry. So hungry. Ooh! What is this I see? A tasty seal? Yum! I wish I could see it better, but I am hungry, so whatever. I need to keep growing so I can be big and strong. I am only seven feet right now. A teen like me needs to eat. Oh! The seal moved! I know it is food now! Yum yum yum!

Ew ew ew! That is icky! It has too much bone and not enough fat. That is a gross seal! And what is that rag thing stuck in my tooth? Ow! Something just poked me! OW! My head! OW! ow.

Overheard at the docks- "Oh yeah! The beast just came at him! Took away both legs, and thrashed him around a lot! He wanted to kill! He was a vicious 20-footer! We tried to kill him but he was impossible! All we got was the kid he was teaching to hunt!"