if you give a mouse a cookie,

she may graciously say nay.

This one is a counter,

she keeps track of calories.

If you give a mouse a cookie,

put away the nutty kind.

You don’t want to put her

in an anaphylactic bind.

Do not give the mouse

Butter cookies and milk

She doesn't need a dose of lactose.

If you give a mouse a cookie,

steer clear from one made of sugar.

The sweetie's empathetic

that she’s quite the diabetic.

If you give a mouse a cookie,

take out wheat chaff and all.

Don't ask me,

he squeaked,“Gluten Free,”

If you give a mouse a cookie,

offer the artisanal kind

to the snooty one.

The health-conscious one

politely requested

almond meal and spelt.

The English mouse

prefers her biscuit.

If you give a mouse a cookie,

make sure you set limits,

the greedy one always wants more.

The web-savvy one,

prefers browsing sites offering none.

But is there a compelling reason

to give only the mouse

a cookie?

So, if you must give a mouse a cookie,

Give it to the one not so choosy.

And,

If you give that mouse any cookie,

she will gratefully eat it.

If you give a mouse a cookie make sure his name is Gus because he is the one that appreciates your fine cooking skills. He will eat every single morsel, every tiny crumb and will lick the batter from your wooden spoon. He will stand on his back 2 feet wobbling back and forth, begging you for more. His whiskers will move to and fro and his fuzzy wuzzy brown hair will fluff up in excitement as he begs you for more. He will wrinkle his pink little nose and sniff at your warm freshly baked cookies with much delight. He won’t dare share because this is all he might have for the night. He needs to fill his belly with all of this delight. He owns this room. This room fits him just right. He came as to not harm but only to be your friend you see. He’s as sweet as a mouse can surely be. Except for the cat, the one you call Daisy, he wishes she would disappear and leave him alone. Instead he has to bring in Marvin, his clone, to help get rid of the wild monstrosity that’s in your home. You sprinkle a bit of cookie crumbs on the floor below. He licks up the remaining bits and is as happy as can be. His belly is full and yours is too. Life is good when you have a mouse or two, but especially if it’s Gus.

If you let him buy you a drink,

remain wary,

as before long,

he'll be sitting at your table,

whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

If you let him stay,

take caution,

as by the end of the night,

he'll be offering to walk you home.

If you let him take you to your door,

keep your distance,

as in the next moment,

he will be asking to come in.

If you let him enter,

think twice,

as shortly,

he will be eying your bed.

If he tries to lure you towards it,

pity his poor soul,

you tried to keep your distance.

You tried to say no...

But humans cannot take a hint,

so into his neck your fangs go.

If you give a man a chance, he's going to ask for your Snap.

When you give him your Snap, he'll probably ask for a nude.

If you give him one, he'll ask for more.

Then he'll want to set up a hook up time just in case he can get lucky.

When he looks at his phone, he might notice a lack of a response.

So he'll probably another text asking for a reply.

When he's finished sending the fifteenth text, you will finally see the notification.

You'll start reading the texts.

He might have gotten carried away and started insulting you.

He may even end up reporting you!

When he's done, he'll move on.

You'll have to tell your friends and cry.

He'll find a new DM and slide in, making himself comfortable with all the people he harms.

He'll probably try to text you back.

So you'll respond to him telling him you're done, and he'll ask to see some pictures.

When you don't send him pictures, he'll keep the one you already sent.

Then he'll post on his account claiming you a whore.

Which means you'll be shamed.

The picture will be reported but the damage is already done.

Everyone hates you and thinks you're a slut.

So... If you give a man a chance.

You'll surely be undone.