.

and through your screams I found my way, I was lost in the nothingness

the darkness knowing my first name

Me and her we knew each other well, beyond the two of us,

there was just silence. And then I heard your pain as it blinded me through my unseeing eyes, my body did not change

yet the black veins pulsating under my skin spoke of only you

my arteries on a slow fire , slow motion, if you please

Without sight, I left the hand of my mistress, the night . Hand ripping from hers, cold shadows following my steps. Yet I kept on walking , the tall trees before me a portrait for my bruises, as I stumbled into their hard wooden core

Splinters opening wounds, speaking of crimson blood in the shade of you . Plump lips that held no taste, skin that had no scent, body that held no pleasure. Yet . All of those sensations unknown to the soul berried under the lightless concepts of time

and through your screams I found my way , I was lost in the nothingness the darkness knowing my first name

I stumbled, I fell, knees scraping against the harsh ground

Wolves with ragged jaws howling this pain that carried you to me. My ears heard you, my skin felt the rawness of your moon threaded hope. I listened, I ran to reach you,

to grab you, to have you. Just to hold your fingers and imagine the sun

what would the heat feel like? how would the sunrays taste?

my soul, why are you in pain? why do you scream? will my darkened life bring soft whispers to your mouth, my lips covering yours

as I breathe in you , and drown out the anguish?

loud steps against wet grass, you howl at me, and finally, my path is set

as I run to you, only to you

always to you

-------

{ song unreleased }: “Hands On Me” - BANKS

Turn all the lights on in my heart

Make it come brighter

How you love me is on fire

Turn all the lights out

Taking me higher

Put your hands on

Put your hands on me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQz6ifOno0

The parts of her I saw in that moment were enough to change me indefinitely…

The way she would giggle when I tried to say compartmentalize but failed miserably. How she would always have her hand on my thigh as I drove comfortably with her in the passenger seat. She would glide across the room and stand before me, staring into my eyes, showing deeper parts of her that some before me never took the time to really look. With a single caress I was restored, and when she whispered her nickname for me, I’d cry internally for her to never stop.

The parts of her I saw in those moments were enough to change me indefinitely, but…

The parts of her I saw while inside her in that moment were enough to bring me to my knees and thank the Universe for bringing us together.

The parts of her I saw in that moment were enough to change me indefinitely.

She said I was too nice to her.

She said her ex boyfriend used to throw furniture at her.

She said she was bored with me because she was waiting for something bad to happen.

She said she used to cut herself.

She said she hated her mother who died of breast cancer.

May I never be as blind as I was when I was 20.

It’s as if God has himself come down to Earth. The world is barely whole in my just-opened eyes, little swirls entangling themselves in my vision. And then, I see her.

I blink once.

Twice.

Thrice.

My vision clears and my heart blooms in contentedness––she looks so peaceful. Her hair sprawls around her head, almost like a halo. The weightless strands barely touch the pillow, trickling off and rising up and down slowly with the soft breeze. Too preoccupied with her to notice that there was actual breeze, I feel the gentle movement of air around me; of course, she woke up again––in the middle of the night––to open the window, and the curtains. But boy, am I thankful.

A ray of sunlight streams in unbroken through the gap, and the rest spills itself on the floor all around the room. The light makes her look even more ethereal––if this is even possible. The light illuminates the planes of her face; she looks almost carved, hand-chiseled by Michelangelo himself. She’s curved into herself, sleeping in her own cocoon of comfort and rumpled blankets. Her––or rather, my––shirt is rucked up and her cute panda shorts are on display. I giggle, she’ll be the most beautiful woman in the world in anything, even baggy sleep shorts with cartoon pandas on them.

Her skin looks aglow, she radiates beauty and goodness and all things soft.

Her face is restful, her features gentler than when she’s awake. Her button nose looks smaller, her cheeks plumper and her lips brighter. She defies every standard of beauty that anyone has ever set.

“God, I am so in love with you.”

Her eyes flutter once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Her entire face––and the room––lights up. Her cheeks raise, a smile slowly weaving itself onto her face. Her eyes open and they look unfocused for a bit until they land on me. They look like pools of honey, almost translucent and she looks at me with drizzles of love in her eyes. She smiles a little more, shakes her head and giggles––pleasant laughter filling the room.

“I am so much more in love with you.”

She sighs a little, a smile still gracing her face. Sitting up, she fixes her––my––t-shirt and with the sunlight dramatically framing her, she’s an angel. Stifling a yawn, her arms fly up in the air as she stretches out the knots, “What’s for breakfast? Have you gotten around to making any or have you just been staring at me?”

She’s absolutely perfect, and I will believe so until the day I die. The parts of her I saw in that moment were enough to change me indefinitely––all for the better.

An affinity for her since first we met, oh so far from now.

She was just beginning her journey, she's back there somehow.

As time wore on like an unmutable song, she got stuck inside my head,

I fear for her I long for her even though it's wrong, my feelings she has read.

I live for me I'd die for her, she is worth so much more.

And then one night she whispered, her unrequited love, but not to me she spoke,

I didn't care because with me she shared her lifes unlaughing joke.

Her voice was soft and raspy, raw and powerful and it envoked in me her heart,

A love so foresaken it never had a start.

And so it is and will be, the same with her and I, on this I choke on times cruel joke,

and she sighs upon a whisper, a whisper that she spoke.

She has given me new meaning, my life is all but spent

and I'd spend it all on her without a dime to pay the rent.

So there's the change she has inspired, in this selfish broken heart,

she's shown me somehow that it's never to late to make a start.

Something new and fuck the fear, just let it all come out,

you'll never know what will happen until you give it clout.

I hope somehow that I have too inspired some change in her,

she's smart and pretty, wise and witty, and not so self-assured.

So change I have and I will try to tell her every day,

that she is why of joy I cry, what else is there to say?

Her back was to him as she slid the sleeve of her dress down; exposing her right shoulder. She looked up at him with a boldness but fear was masked in her eyes. He slowly reached for her hairpin and pulled it away ever so gently. Karra’s straight chestnut hair fell smoothly over her back. She smiled; the smile that makes his knees weak. When her dress fell to the floor, he held in his breath and when she turned around, he could have cried. There she was; his light and his life. Every part of her beautiful, from her deep blue eyes to the way her body curved. He even loved her beauty mark on her right cheek and her pale skin did not deter him.

It was not just the beauty of Karra’s form that caused him to hold his breath but that look in her eyes that said, I want you too.

It was then he began to weep.